Disclaimer: Confucius say, "I no own KH."

A/N: I'm not sure which corner of my brain this story came from. I guess I was just bored.


Axel Sees a Shrink

A slightly overweight woman with ovular glasses and hair in a tight bun greeted Axel at the door. Her room was bright, tidy, and cheery, as if it came straight out of a furniture catalogue. Axel was nervous, but Saix had suggested he get a shrink with all the moping and lazing around he'd done in the past week. He normally didn't listen to the scar-faced grumpmeister, but he decided to make an exception this time. With Roxas gone, he probably was going crazy. A shrink, or psychologist if you wanted to get technical, might not be the worst idea. Besides, the woman seemed nice enough.

"Why, hello," she said, her smile widening. She beckoned for him to come inside, gesturing towards a chair. "Take a seat."

Hm, that was strange. Axel had always assumed that when you went to a shrink, they had you lay on one of those cushion bed thingies. Not that he minded. The chair appeared comfortable and inviting enough for him.

"Thanks," he said as he plopped down and stretched out his back.

His gaze wandered to the bright yellow wall clock. Two o'clock. He had a whole hour for this session. What would he talk about for that long? His feelings about Roxas? Well, technically, he didn't have feelings, just mockeries of them, being a nobody and all. Did that mean that coming to the shrink was futile and pointless? Maybe Saix was wrong. Maybe he should just leave right now...

"I am Mrs. Vergess." The lady sat down across from Axel and flattened out the wrinkles on her skirt delicately. "What's your name?"

"Axel." Oh, god. This felt like one of those fake Alcoholics Anonymous meetings he'd seen on TV. What the hell was he doing here??

Mrs. Vergess kept that same warm, friendly smile. Her face was practically stuck like that. Good thing she didn't have gross teeth, since he got flashed with them a lot. "Oh, well, it's nice to meet you, Aaron."

"Um...you mean Axel."

The smile deepened. "Right, Allen. Moving on then..."

Axel stared. Was this woman nearly deaf or something? Yes, that had to be it. Axel wasn't the most conventional name, but it couldn't be that hard to learn. He decided to ignore her mistake.

"Why are you here today?" Mrs. Vergess asked sweetly. She had a pen and a pad of paper, presumably to take notes on Axel.

"Well..." He might as well get this over with, he supposed. "My best friend forgot about me. And I have to kill him or--"

"Did the two of you get in some sort of fight?" the ever-smiling shrink questioned. She was already jotting something down, and Axel couldn't help but feel curious about it. Was she giving him some mental diagnosis with her scribbles? Or perhaps she was just writing out a grocery list. Or drawing a picture. It was impossible to tell.

"Well, no...not exactly," Axel said after a pause. After all, it really hadn't been a fight. Roxas had been angry with the organization, not with him really. He was part of the organization, but still--

"Well, here's some advice for you, Andy--"

Okay, now her faulty memory was getting irritating. If he was going to spill his guts out to this lady, she should at least have the courtesy to remember his name.

"It's Axel." He didn't bother hiding his annoyance.

"Yes, yes, Aardvark. Anyway--"

Aardvark?! That wasn't even a name! If the woman was trying to mess with him, she was making a terrible mistake. He didn't have a heart, which meant he wouldn't feel guilty if he tore her to shreds. Plus, her constant toothy grin was getting on his nerves. Either this woman was on drugs, or she was faking that smile. Or she just got botox.

"It's AXEL. A-X-E-L! Got it freaking memorized, lady?!" His anger was swelling.

Mrs. Vergess tsk-tsked him and shook her head. If she was trying to look cross, she failed at it miserably. She couldn't act peevish if she tried, because that would mean changing her overly-cheery expression. "My, my. Temper, temper. We really need to work on that, Bob."

In order to prevent himself from wringing the woman's neck, Axel stood up, marched toward the exit, and left, slamming the door behind him. Saix had been way wrong. He hadn't even lasted ten minutes with the shrink. He'd deal with his stinkin' problems himself.


"Ah, hello, young lady. Please sit down."

"Hi," Kairi said shyly, adjusting her skirt underneath her legs before taking a seat. This person seemed very nice. Perhaps investing in counseling really would help her work through her personal problems.

"I'm Mrs. Vergess." That was a slightly unusual name.

"I'm Kairi."

Mrs. Vergess took a yellow notepad and put it in her lap, scrawling something across the page. She looks very professional, Kairi thought in awe. She seemed so diligent and orderly already, and they'd barely met.

"So, what seems to be the problem?"

Kairi took a deep breath and began to explain herself. "Well, the guy I like is in a different world right now."

Mrs. Vergess nodded with understanding and said calmly, "Yes, they all are, Karla."

Huh? The red-head had to blink a few times before responding. "Um, my name is Kairi..."

And thus began another interesting session.....


A/N: The end! What did you think? Just a side note: I got the psychologist's name from the word "vergessen" (fare-gess-en), which is German for "to forget." A suitable name, since she can't seem to retain their names in her mind for more than two seconds. ^_^;;

The Kairi bit at the end I just added as an afterthought. =) Any reviews?