Genre: Gen, Wee!chesters
Characters: Dean, Sam, John
Spoilers: Vaguely for all episodes aired in the US.
Summary: Sam's fed up with being Luke Skywalker. Pre-series. Oneshot.
Disclaimer: Kripke owns the pretty and Lucas owns the rest.
A/N: So I'm not entirely sure what this is, but plot and Iris aren't friends right now so this is all I'm capable of.
I WANT TO BE HAN SOLO
"But Dean, I want to be Han Solo!"
"You can't be Han Solo, Sammy."
"'Cause you're the youngest."
"That's not fair!"
"Life's not fair, dweeb. Get used to it."
"But I'm tired of being Luke Skywalker!"
"What's wrong with being Luke Skywalker? He's the hero, Sammy!"
"But he doesn't fly around in a cool spaceship."
"Which is why I get to be Han Solo."
"You don't have a cool spaceship, Dean."
"No, but I have a cool car."
"Dad has a cool car."
"It'll be my cool car in six years."
"Just 'cause you'll be old enough to drive in six years doesn't mean Dad's gonna give you the car!"
"Yeah it does. You ask Dad."
"But why don't I get the car?"
"For the same reason you get to be Luke Skywalker. You're the youngest."
"That's so not fair! What do I get?"
"You got the biggest lightsaber, what more do you want?"
"It's a stick, Dean."
"It's a big stick, Sammy!"
"I don't want a stick, I want to be Han Solo!"
"But Luke Skywalker saves the galaxy, Sammy!"
"But he's boring—"
"He's not boring, he's just serious, Sammy. Like you."
"I'm not serious—"
"He's serious because he's a Jedi and he has a dark destiny."
"Ummm... Like it's my destiny to be cool and your destiny to be a spazz."
"Don't call your brother a spazz, Dean."
"What's a dark destiny?"
"It means Luke Skywalker could save the galaxy, but he could destroy it too."
"If he turns to the Darkside?"
"Uh-huh. So that's why Luke's the hero. Because he doesn't turn to the Darkside. He's stronger than that. Even when Darth Vader threatens to hurt his family— turn his sister to the Darkside—he doesn't give in. He doesn't turn evil. He fights the bad stuff that's inside him and he stops the evil Emperor from rising up to destroy the galaxy!"
"Luke kicks the Emporer's ass!"
"You bet your ass he kicks the Emporer's ass!"
"I'd never turn to the Darkside, Dean."
"I know you wouldn't, Sammy."
"Because if I did, you and Dad would kick my ass, right?"
"Damn straight. That's what I'm here for. To kick your ass if you turn to the Darkside."
"But I'm not gonna."
"Then I won't have to kick your ass."
"So that makes me like Luke Skywalker?"
"Uh-huh. You're gonna save the world someday, Sammy. I just know it."
"And what are you gonna do?"
"I'm gonna be right there with ya when you do it. Just like Han Solo."
"Oh. You promise?"
"Okay then. I guess I can be Luke Skywalker."