A/N: first off this was a story request by: Very Morbid Child-AMNTLN. Who requested a KakuzuXHidanXOC story. First time I've ever done lemon with a female character so I hope it came out ok. The OC is Very Morbid Child-AMNTLN's not mine; so Geib belongs to her and I (of course) own none of the other chars.

))((

"Damn it Kakuzu! I'm tired of walking around and having to sleep out fucking side all the time! Can't we get a room somewhere? Please?" the loud whining was coming from a platinum haired man who was sitting in a tea shop with another male. Said other male didn't look very happy—even though you couldn't see most of his face.

"No, Hidan, now shut the hell up you're getting on my nerves," came Kakuzu's calm reply, the other not even looking up from the map he was looking over. It was old looking and dotted with little red X's.

"But why the fuck not!"

"Because it would cost money, and I already bought you food here," the miser said sternly, as he folded up his map and replaced it in his sleeve.

"Well shit. If I had known I could either eat or have a hotel I would've rather had the hotel…" Hidan grumbled stabbing his empty plate with an equally empty dumpling stick. Giving a heavy, frustrated sigh he let his head fall to the table with a harsh 'thunk'.

"Well, now you know," Kakuzu said and stood up. "Now if you're done can we get going we still have a lot of ground to cover." The only response he got from the zealot was a few muffled curses before he stood up as well.

Unbeknownst to both males they were being observed by wandering electric blue eyes from across the tea shop.

Stepping out into the slightly crowded street Hidan gave a big over exaggerated stretch. "Well let's get going then sense you're going to be an ass and make us sleep outside we might as well get in as much ground as we can."

"For once I actually agree with you," the banker said and turned to start down the street. Both men were startled when someone called to them from behind.

"Excuse me," turning to see who had had the nerve to speak to them they were both slightly aw struck with who met them.

It was a young woman—or at least she appeared to be young looking. She was of average height, with brilliant red hair that just brushed her shoulders. Pale skin that looked like it was make of ivory was marred with scars that resembled cracks—or at least Kakuzu thought they did. Most of them when over her face but she was still beautiful. One of them went across the bridge of her nose and over both eyes. With another that started somewhere past her hair line and snaked down the side of her face to disappear under her kimono. Electric blue orbs looked up at them and her lips were painted with a sharp shade of red.

She looked like an expensive porcelain doll, elegant gold and red kimono and all—obliged hers was rather thin and nearly translucent. And it took a moment for bone of them to remember that she had spoken to them.

"What do you want?" Kakuzu asked in a not so inviting tone.

"I couldn't help but over hearing you inside," she said shifting her gaze to Hidan. "Your comrade was so fucking loud the whole god damned shop heard him bitching." As she said this she smiled and tilted her head to the side in a very innocent way that drastically contrasted her vocabulary.

"Yeah? What of it?" Kakuzu asked, ready for this conversation—if you could call it that—to be over so they could get going. They were just wasting time; he wasn't even sure why he had stopped to listen to her.

"Well," she continued looking back to Kakuzu. "I live just outside this little town and if you would like you could stay with me. You wouldn't have to pay me, just may be do a few things around my home for me." She smiled and looked hopefully up at the taller man.

"I don't think—"

"Sure we can do that!" Hidan burst in before his partner could finish turning the offer down. "Not a problem at all!"

"Hidan…" the testy miser growled warningly at the shorter.

"Oh come on Kuzu! It's free! And what's a little manual labor for somewhere to sleep and eat. We would get free food too right?" he added as an afterthought looking back to the woman.

She nodded and looked up to Kakuzu. "Well, your friend seems to agree. How about you?"

Kakuzu looked like he wanted to still say no, but after giving it a moment of thought he decided it would be okay. It was a pretty good deal after all. "Alright, fine we'll stay with you." He said nodding.

"Good, then let's get going," with that said she walked past them and started off down the road. Both men followed her. "Oh, and my name is Geibriyn but please call me Geib. What are yours?"

"I'm Hidan," the Jashinist stated moving to walk beside her. "And that old bastard is Kakuzu… Ow fuck! What the hell was that for?" Hidan swore when he was slapped in the back of the head.

"Idiot," was all Kakuzu said as he moved to walk next to his partner. Next to them the young woman, Geib, started to giggle.

"I like you two already…"

-----

"Here we are!" Geib announced when they arrived in front of a large temple like home.

"You fucking live here! It's fucking huge!" Hidan said looking at the place.

"Yes, it is rather large but it's nice." she said. "Now hurry the fuck up I don't want to just stand outside all god damn day." With that said she started toward the house again both men in toe behind her. "Now," she said opening the large sliding door. "Sense you seem to be in some kind of god awful hurry I won't waste any time." She walked into the house and lead them straight through to the back door. Sliding it open she revealed the back yard….or what was left of it at least.

"What the fuck happened here!" Hidan yelled looking out over the mess. The high fence that would have surrounded the yard was almost completely destroyed and there were pieces of plants and flowers scattered everywhere.

"Well…" she started scratching the back of her neck sheepishly and giving a little grin. "There was a…incident of sorts…"

"Well I can fucking see that. What happened?"

"None of your mother fucking business!" she snapped going from sheepish to bitchy at a moment's notice. "Now," she said returning to her calm manner. "All I want you to do is put the fence back up. I'll do the garden myself later. I already have all the supplies all you have to do is put it up."

"Well alright," Kakuzu said with a heavy tone. "Show us where the stuff is so we can get started." With a smile that was almost creepy Geib showed them where the supplies were and they wasted no time getting started.

Nearly an hour later and the porcelain doll was amazed at the amount of progress they had made. Over half the yard was re-fenced. At this rate they would be done before dinner.

"My, my I definitely snagged a couple of good workers," she said to herself leaning on the railing of the porch to watch them work. It wasn't that bad of a sight really. Hidan had long sense discarded his clock do to the sun that was beating down mercilessly and his pale well toned torso was glinting with a fine sheen of sweat. She watched as he moved with ease. Hammering nails into the boards and clearing the old stuff out of the way.

He was definitely a very attractive man and she felt a warm tingle spark between her thighs as she watched him. Turning her gaze to Kakuzu she was surprised he hadn't passed out from heat stroke. He hadn't removed any of his clothing. And it had to be at least ninety-seven out.

"You're going to make yourself sick Kakuzu. Why don't you take your clock off?"

"I'm fine," was all the man said as he continued to dig a hole for the next fence post.

"Yeah fucking right!" Hidan said. "You're burning up. You just don't want her to see what you look like under your clothes….Ow mother fucker!!" the zealot cursed as he was struck in the head with a hammer.

"Oops, my bad must have slipped…" the banker deadpanned as he went back to digging.

"Oh yeah right! You weren't even using the hammer you bastard!"

"Shut up and get back to work!"

Back on the porch Geib giggled again. "Oh, yes I most definitely like those two."

-----

She had been right and they had finished well before it was time to eat.

"You can wash up if you want," she said as she looked over Hidan's dirty, sweaty, extremely sexy form.

"Nah, I'm good thanks though," Hidan said and began to walk away from her only to be stopped by a—surprisingly—strong hand on his wrist.

"Actually I would prefer if you did you little fucker. I really don't want you to stink up my god damned house." With that said she started to pull the albino man towards the old fashion bathroom. The large wooden tub could've held at least three people if not more. "Please try not to make a mess." And with that she left him alone to clean himself.

When she returned she found Kakuzu where she had left him out on the back deck. "Once he is finished you can bathe as well." She said coming to stand next to him and look out at the yard. "You did a very nice job with the fence, thank you."

"Hmm, now that we're through would you mind telling me what really happened back here," the miser asked in an indifferent tone. Showing that if she didn't chose to speak up he wouldn't try to force it.

"It was my fault really…" she began she voice seeming to lose its luster. Like she was talking of something that she would sooner not think about. "You see I come from the Doru—Doll—clan. And many of my family held a great amount of distant for me because I was born with our keke genki."

"Oh, and what would that be?"

"It is rather odd, but it allows me to turn into a doll myself. In this form I feel no pain or emotion and I suppose that must have scared them. While I am a doll I can destroy my enemies via explosions, but of course this hurts me as well."

"But sense you're a doll the pieces just put themselves back together. Am I right?"

"Yes, that's correct. A few days ago someone from my village, a bounty hunter, came after me. I of course fought back and the state of my yard is the result."

"Blowing one's self up…reminds me of someone else I know. A slightly idiotic technique if may say so myself. Wait you said a bounty hunter? Is there a bounty on your head?"

"Oh," her mood seemed to swing again and she was all smiles and pride as she continued to speak. "Why there sure as fuck is. The last time I checked I believe it was about 20 million ryō, but that was a while ago and the bounty hunter said it had gone up quite a bit. Who really gives a fuck though right?" When she turned to look up at the bounty hunter next to her—although she didn't know he was one—she was startled by how wide his eyes had gotten. "Oh, Kakuzu are you alright?"

"Uh, I—"

"Oi, Kakuzu! I'm done in the bath go clean up," for once the idiot seemed to have good timing. Both occupants of the porch turned to look at the Jashinist and both occupants felt a spark low in their bellies.

Pale skin was still wet and glistened with little beads of water. A thick towel was wrapped low on his waist. And the muscles of his stomach and chest rippled under white skin as he dried his hair with another. "Oi, dickweed you hear me?"

"Hmm," Kakuzu replied intelligently as he racked his eyes over Hidan's sweet body. He was so absorbed in his own ogling that he didn't notice the woman next to him doing the same thing. "Right the bath…thanks." With that he walked past his partner and down the hall the same way he had seen Geib drag him earlier.

"Well now what the fuck got his brain so jacked up all of a sudden," Hidan complained as he hung the towel he had been drying his hair with over his shoulders. "Oh!" he said as he remembered something. "Hey, I forget. These were the only towels you had in there; Kakuzu's going to need some….Hello, anyone home?"

"Hu! Oh my-my apologizes," Geib said as she was brought out of her daydreams of a certain amethyst eyed man, when said man waved his hand in front of her face. "Towels. Of course thank you for informing me I shall go and fetch some for him." With a small bow she walked past him and down the long hall to a closet. Opening it she pulled out several large fluffy towels as well as two white robes for Hidan and Kakuzu to put on. 'Not that it would be a bad thing for him to walk around in just a towel.' She giggled to herself and returned up the hall to the bathroom.

Being pleasantly lost in slightly devious thoughts of the zealot she forgot to knock before entering. Her thoughts shifted from pale skin and platinum hair too copper skin and dark umber locks when she stepped into the bathroom. "Oh my…" she gasped as she stared at Kakuzu's naked form in front of her.

The gasp had of course drawn the man's attention and he turned to scowl at the intruder to his privacy. "Excuse you," he growled glaring at the young woman. "Do you mind?" he got no response and that was when he realized what she was doing.

Her eyes were slightly glassy, cheeks tinted and breath came in more shallow increments. He recognized this as lust; for he had seen many women look the same way at his partner. Scowling deeply he reached out and snagged one of the towels from her. "Thank you, now get out." He all but hissed, as he wrapped the garment around his hips.

His movement to grab the towel snapped her out of her trance. She frowned slightly when she realized he had covered himself, but it didn't really matter. She had seen everything. His copper skin was beautiful as was his dark umber hair. She hadn't been able to keep her eyes from drifting and her lower regions had grown slightly moist at the sight of his manhood—even though he wasn't erect. And the stitching all over his body. Only one thought crossed her mind as she continued to follow the stitching with her eyes. 'We're the same…'

"Geib!"

"Hu! Oh, oh! I-I'm terribly sorry!" she quickly handed him the other towel she had grabbed as well as one of the two robes and left the bathroom in a hurry. Stepping out into the hall and practically slamming the door behind her she stayed there for a moment. Leaning against the wall and breathing in sharp little contractions.

Moving one hand to her chest she rested it over her heart feeling the 'thump' of the muscle against her breast. Then she slowly slid it down her body to rest over her crotch. She could feel the heat radiating from herself but quickly pulled her hand away. Was she turned on? Yes, very much so. But she wasn't going to sit outside the bathroom and touch herself; that just wouldn't be proper.

Letting out a deep breath she began back down the hall to find Hidan. But quickly her thoughts turned back to the tan plans she had seen in the bathroom and she became slightly dazed. She didn't make it out to the deck before she found Hidan. He had wandered into the living room and was standing next to the fire place.

"Nice music box. Looks old, where'd you get it?" it took Geib a moment to realize she was being addressed. And when she looked up at the man it took her another moment to realize what he was holding.

In another moment she was across the room. Pale hand gripping her guest's wrist in a nearly bone breaking grip. Hidan gave a surprised curse and looked up at her to cuss her out but words dyed in his throat. Bright fires burned in those electric blue eyes; deep cresses wrinkled her brow, as her nose was scrunched up in anger. Her fiery hair almost seemed to bristle and stand on end like and angered animal; and teeth bore in an almost ferial way.

"You. Do. Not. Fucking. Touch. This!" she hissed. Grabbing the music box from Hidan's slackened grip she let go of him and held the—apparently—precious rose shaped, pink marble box to her chest. "You do not fucking touch this! No one touches this! It is most precious to me, and you do not fucking touch it!"

The Jashinist was completely taken aback by the outburst. "Okay…" he said holding up his hands in a passive kind of way. He was shocked at the dark aura she was giving off and how much her chakra had spiked. "Don't freak out. Didn't know it was so important."

Geib gave him one last hard glare before she replaced the music box in its glass case above the fire place. "Here," she said holding out the robe she still had to him. "I'll have your clothes clean in the morning but you can were this for now."

"Umm, thanks…" Hidan said still a little confused. He put the robe on leaving the towel on under it and looked at Geib in a way that said 'are a psycho by any chance?'

"Someone very special to me gave the music box to me a long time ago…please don't touch it again." She explained simply. "I'm going to go start on dinner. Feel free to explore the grounds until then."

Hidan just gave a silent nod and watched the women walk past him. Looking back to the music box he shrugged and walked out of the living room to see what else he could fine around the large house.

-----

Dinner was served about an hour later. And it was amazing. Geib was a very talented cook and made things that neither of them had ever seen nor tasted before. And the sake had been amazing as well. Not extremely strong, but it held such a potpourri of tastes to it; precisely complementing everything the woman had made.

Conversation had even come easily. Geib had asked about Hidan's rosary, which had in turn sparked the zealot on a tournedos spiel about Jashinism. Kakuzu had been rather impressed while listening to their conversation. Most people would shy away from Hidan when he got so overzealous. Just nod and quietly agree with his loud and insistent ranting.

But not Geib. She had held her own just fine. Having a comeback for every curse or proclamation the other had made. Finding ways to put down Hidan's faith in ways no one else would dare to. 'Girls got spunk that's for sure,' He had thought to himself as he listened to them go at it.

But hard as he tried he also couldn't keep his mind from wandering back to earlier that day. When their hostess had caught him in the nude. The way she had looked at him. The way the wattage in those electric eyes had spiked. It wasn't something he was used to seeing—at least not directed towards himself any way, women would look at Hidan that way all the time. It confused him because more often than not when—on the rare occasion—someone saw what he looked like under his clothes is was distant they showed; not lust.

He wasn't aware of it but Geib too, couldn't get the encounter out of her head; but for very different reasons. While outwardly she seemed focused on her conversation/argument with Hidan, on the inside she was thinking about Kakuzu and what he looked like under that cotton robe. His chiseled muscle, beautifully colored skin, and that odd stitching that still captivated her. She loved his eyes as well. Before they had seemed a little out of place, but now that she had seen all of him they fit perfectly; almost exotic with his skin and hair.

Laughing absent mindedly at something Hidan had said she stole a glance at the bounty hunter. Admiring his slightly course looking umber hair, and the stitching on the sides of his mouth. She couldn't remember the last time she had wanted someone so bad. 'And I don't intend to let you just slip through my fingers. Hm, Kakuzu I'll make you mine even if it is just for one night of lust…'

"Hey bitch I'm still talking to you here!"

"Oi, yes Hidan I fucking noticed that. You just never shut the hell up do you?" Geib sighed turning—most of—her attention back to Hidan. While secretly she was thinking about how to go about getting Kakuzu.

-----

"And these will be your rooms," she said as she stopped in front of one door and motioning to another just a few paces down the hall on the other side. Hidan looked between them and made a face. 'Two rooms? How the hell am I supposed to fuck Kakuzu if we're in separate rooms?' the albino was just about to bring this up—the separate rooms not the fucking—when Kakuzu spoke up.

"Thank you I'm sure they'll be fine. Much better than the hotels we normally stay at."

"Ha! We almost never stay at hotels. And the only reason they suck so much is because you're so fucking cheep!" Hidan said to the other man, with anger lacing his voice. He hated those shitty places Kakuzu always had them stay at.

"Shut up Hidan," Kakuzu replied calmly. "You better get some sleep we're leaving first thing in the morning, and I don't want to have to listen to you whine about being tired."

"Oh is that so?" Geib asked. "I'll have to get up early then so I can make breakfast."

"Don't bother. You've done enough already," with that the stitch-nin moved to the door a little ways down the hall.

"Oh well if you insist," 'That also means I have to make my move tonight if I want to have you.' "Good night then. If I don't see you before you leave in the morning thank you again for the all your help." With that she moved off down the hall to her own room, still trying to think of how to get the man she was now lusting after.

If worst came to worst she would just wing it. Go to him and hope for the best. But she was going to have him that she had her mind set on. Even if it was a dangerous mind set; she wasn't the kind of person to back down from a challenge anyway.

Tcb.

A/N: originally this had been requested as a one-shot, but it was getting so long I split it up… second half should be up relatively soon. Review please!