"But Mom." Sam said and turned to his mother, unable to watch his brother tend to his broken, demon blood addicted body, any longer. "Mom. He has only ended up like that because of me. Because of my death, because Dad forced him to be a hunter, because Yellow Eyes killed you."
"So you believe that if you hadn't even been born that your brother would be better off?" Sam stopped, realized that was what he had just described and he nodded. "Yes. Most definitely. He could be happy right now, married, and children, Mom he's so good with kids, and he could be someone."
"So you don't think your brother is anyone?"
"No, Yes," Sam sighed, confusion seemed to be his unhappy partner these days. He couldn't remember the last time he made a decision and it seemed to be the absolute clear and right answer. It had to be way before Dean went to hell and that was saying something. Once upon a time, he prided himself on his rational and clear mind, and these days his mind was anything but clear.
"I don't' know. I just know that if it hadn't been for me, everyone would be so much happier. You would be alive, Dean would never have ended up in Hell, Dad would be fine, and….and the damn apocalypse wouldn't be happening right now. Dean wouldn't have been forced to start it, wouldn't' have been tor-" his voice hitched "tortured into starting it." Mary's eyes went soft with concern. She reached out to the son she had never known and brushed hair out of his eyes.
"Your brother….your brother needs you." Sam gave her disbelieving eyes and she sighed. "Let me show you one more thing. That will prove to you, that your brother was born to be your brother."
The scene changed to a warm and bright house, but no sooner had he got his bearings did he hear screaming.
"You have to get yourself together Dean!" Yelled what sounded like his mother.
"You need to leave me the hell alone!" Sam slowly walked towards the sound, and the scene came into view. And shock ran through his system
"You can't be out all night partying. You have a son to take care of."
"God Mom. It's not like I asked her to get pregnant." Dean rolled his eyes. Sam's mouth fell agape. Dean never would shirk the responsibility of a child. Sam remembered just how much his brother wanted Ben to be his son. Sam knew without a doubt, that if he had found out that Ben was his, he would have done his best by him.
Dean turned around and the sight of his brother completely horrified Sam. His hair was longer, and his face was roughly the same, but there was a hard look in his green eyes, a hardness that no amount of hunting had ever put in them. It made Sam take a step back. The doubly pierced lip, and tattoo running up his neck, and the violent looking scenes depicted on his arms, added to Sam's horror and astonishment. It took effort on Sam's part to get Dean to get the protection tattoo on his chest, and he still wasn't happy about it. Sam caught him once or twice looking at it in the mirror and shaking his head while dressing. This man before him couldn't be his brother.
"No. This isn't Dean. This is a trick. A joke. This isn't what Dean would be like if I wasn't here. This isn't the man I grew up with," he said in complete horror.
"Dean, you just got out of jail. You are on probation. You have to keep your nose clean."
Dean rolled his eyes. "Whatever mom."
"Dean. I can't take it again. I can't take seeing my baby locked up in prison."
"It's not like I killed anyone mom. Don't be so dramatic."
"You broke into someone's house, with a gun, with a gun baby, and you took their things."
"Those yuppie freaks had it coming to them," he said with a smirk.
Horror and disbelief grew in Sam's belly and he couldn't take it anymore, couldn't watch this argument, couldn't see the man that was pretending to be Dean Winchester, he had to get out. "Get me out of here. This isn't my brother." Sam demanded. Mary nodded and they were back in the panic room, watching Dean, Sam's Dean, coddle his withdrawing body and murmuring comforts to him. Sam's chest eased when he watched the scene, saw the fear and worry on his brother's face. Sam turned with tear filled eyes to his mother.
"He would have ended up like that, without me?"
"Yes. Your brother had to learn early how to worry about other people, because of you. He learned that lesson, and it has made him into the man before you. So, if you take yourself out of the equation your brother doesn't become this man, doesn't become the loving, caring, selfless man before you. Each life in this world Sammy, affects the lives of many. Your life has affected a great many people's both in positive and negative ways. And you have to remember, that in every way that truly matters, you helped to shape your brother into the man he is, and that apocalypse or no apocalypse he loves you." Sam nodded, hearing his mother, but not watching her. He was too busy watching his brother. He closed his eyes for just a second, and when he opened them again, he was looking up at Dean.
"There you are kiddo." He said softly. "I was starting to worry you weren't gonna come back to the land of the living." Sam swallowed thickly. "Thirsty?" Sam nodded, and he lost the reassuring presence of his brother for a moment, and just as panic was about to set in Dean pressed a cup to his lips and murmured, "I got ya. You'll be okay. I promise Sammy. You'll be okay." And for the first time since his brother told him of the deal, Sam believed in the reassurance.