How do you sleep?

Summary: Bella and Edward had the perfect relationship. Everything went smoothly; until one day, everything had changed. They decided to take some time off each other and give each other space. Will they be able to patch things up? Based on the song How do you sleep? By Jesse McCartney. AU/AH

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, the song or Jesse McCartney. Boy I wish I did though. That would be the life… (:

Dedicated to ubetterknowwhothisis (I think I know who she is… lol)

A/N: The characters would probably be OOC just to warn you.


Edward's POV

Forgotten. Lost. Hopeless. Juvenile. Irresponsible. Those five words should do it. That's what I am right now without her. But then, it was probably all my fault. It was a childish mistake. You know, like the ones where your big brother breaks your mom's favorite antique case and blames it on you? Those ones.

Everything was perfect—right where it should be and I just had to ruin it.

Flashback (Junior Year)

"Hey there beautiful." I greeted Bella with much emotion. She was just coming out of her doorway when I saw her, the most exquisite creature that have ever walked on this planet.

I was leaning against the side of my car when she came up to me and kissed me full on the lips. I poured every single drop of feelings I had for her, like I would do every time we would kiss, hug or even just talk. I pulled her closer, as she wrapped her arms around my neck, tousling my hair.

"You missed me that much?" I asked as I pulled away, still looking at her straight in the eyes.

"Yeah! Why wouldn't I?" She laughed.

I took her bag from her and opened the car door, waiting for her to slide in.

"Well, why thank you kind sir." She said in a British accent.

"Anything for you, my fair lady." I replied, attempting at my own British accent, closing the door after she was completely inside.

I walked hastily to the driver's side and opened my car door. I threw her bag on the back seat closed the door.

"Let's go?" I asked her as I ignited the engine.

"Not before you buckle your seat belt, buckaroo." She reached across the car and fumbled for the seat belt. When she finally found it, she buckled the seat belt for me, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"What will I ever do without you?" I gave her a smile and she blushed.

We drove silently to school, occasionally stealing glances at each other and holding each others hands.

When we got to the school parking lot, I parked next to my sister Alice's Porsche. I grabbed her book bag from the back seat and got out of the car. She was about to get out on her own, when I told her to stop and wait for me.

I opened the door for her and she jumped on me kissing me hard on the lips.

"What was that for?" I asked her curiously, not that I didn't like it.

"For being the best boyfriend ever." She gave me a small smile.

"That is just so cute!" Alice squealed, pretending to wipe the fake tears that had fake fallen from her eyes.

"Well, I think I can top that." Jasper stated, hugging my sister from behind.

"Please don't. Not here. In public." I joked.

"Ok, that's it. Let's get going." Bella suggested.

"Wait, I forgot something in the car." I handed her bag to her. "You guys go ahead. I'll catch up with you."

"Don't be long!" Bella said, giving me a quick kiss on the lips. She tasted like cherry (A/N: Don't worry, Bella didn't kiss a girl :D) I sniffed her hair—strawberries.

"I won't be."

They slowly walked towards the building and I quickly ran to my car, not wasting any time. I wanted to be with Bella right now. I know, I sound very possessive of her. But what can I do? I'm crazily, madly in love with her.

I took my phone out of the glove compartment, and then locked my doors using my remote.

Just when I was just about to turn around and run after the others, Cassandra, the school slut, pushed me against my car. I tried to escape but I didn't have the strength. It had all happen too quickly. She called Bella's name and then slammed her lips on mine. I pushed her away with all the adrenaline in me then looked towards Bella.

She was standing there, shock and disappointment on her face. I could tell she was already on the verge of tears. Alice was giving me daggers and Jasper was soothing Alice, trying to calm her down.

"Bella." I whispered.

I took a step and Bella took one step back. I took another two, and she took two steps back. I had decided to run to her side and explain everything to her. But then she just quickly took off, but not before yelling the words, "It's over!" I stopped dead on my tracks and just fell on the ground on my knees.

Alice ran after Bella and Jasper rushed to my side.

"You alright dude?" Jasper whispered.

"I messed up Jaz. It wasn't even my fault. I wa— wasn't thinking." And then I just broke down. Tears were coming out of my eyes uncontrollably. I couldn't hold the misery that was slowly building up in my chest. My heart was slowly shattering into pieces—pieces that could never be fixed, not without her.

"It's ok man. It'll be alright." He sat next to me, patting me on the back. I brought my hands to my face, trying to cover the shame that had taken over me.

"And that's what happens when you say no to Cassandra Banes." I heard Cassandra laughed evilly and the tapping of her high-heeled shoe was slowly gone.

End of Flashback

It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
How do you sleep

And that was the night that my life had shattered.

It has been about a year now since the incident had happened. I tried to call her, text her and visit her, but she'd refuse to answer or see me. She wouldn't even look at me when she came over with my sister. She'd just walk pass me and pretend that I wasn't there, like I was a ghost. I just wanted to explain to her what had really happened. Jasper tried, Alice tried, and everyone else tried, but all she said was that she didn't want to hear a word about it and she didn't want an explanation.

Alice had once said: "Edward, I know she's hurting a lot right now. She never expected this to happen, you know. Everything was perfect and then, it all came crashing down. It's not your fault. I know what had happened. Jasper told me and Cassandra admitted herself. But right now, she's in so much pain that it's unbearable for her. She thought you were her prince riding on a silver Volvo and I'm guessing she's still hoping that you are right now. Give her some time and space. You both need it so later on, you can patch things up.

"Trying to force her to listen to you wouldn't help at all. It would just make everything worse. So please Edward, please understand her situation right now. She needs time to recover."

And that's what I did. I gave her space, hoping that everything would get better after a few months. But it didn't.

I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Then I sat up and took the pillow I was laying my head on. I reached for the letter she had written me a while back, which I had carefully placed inside the pillow case. It read:

Dear Edward,
I'm sorry that everything didn't work out like we thought it would be. I never thought it would end this way, though I'm hoping that this wouldn't be the end. I still care about you Edward, a lot, and I hope that you still care for me too. But right now, I just don't know what to do. I was hurt by what I saw. I know that it's very irrational of me to not listen to what you have to say. I hope that you understand what I'm feeling right now. I just can't bear what truth and lies you all have for me. Maybe this was a sign that we should take some time off each other, spend time with other people and figure what is right. Hopefully someday Edward, someday, we can still find each other and start fresh. I'm going to miss you. I love you.
Goodbye, Bella.

I read her letter everyday. I could still feel the love. It still smelled like cherry and strawberry, or at least to me it did. I could still see the lipstick mark she had made, right next to her name. And the tear stain that I left when I first read her letter, right next to 'Goodbye' was still there.

Tried my best at movin' on
Have yet to find a girl like you
See things now I didn't before
Now wishin' I had more time with you

Alice had encouraged me to see other girls, just to get my mind off of her. She'd introduce me to a new girl every single day, but I'd refuse them—gently of course. There was only one simple explanation as to why I said no. Every other girl couldn't compare to her beauty, her attitude, and her every thing. Plus, every time I'd look at them, I would only see Bella's face, and nothing else.

Still on this day, I was still mad at myself. I ignored Cassandra in the hallway and if she'd say 'Hello' to me, I'd give her a glare and growl at her. It sounds very immature, but I did, just to get her off my back. I wouldn't want to see her ugly face again because I was on the verge of beating her up the next day Bella and I had broken up. If it wasn't for her, Bella would still be in my arms right now. We would both be happy together, and nothing would come along to break us apart.


How do you stay awake
Knowin' all I do is think of you
All the things we fought about
Then never will happen again
If I could just see you

If I had my way come and getcha girl
In your favorite car with the missing top
Remember 'round my way where we used to park
And did all those things to steal your heart

When I came home after a long, incomplete day without Bella, I would go straight to my room, and read her letter again. I would reminisce on the past and think about all those happy memories we had together. The day in the park where she almost fell off the swing but I caught her just in time, and the time where we were at the water park and I threw her into the water. I laughed at the memory of her and her smile.

Alice had once said that I had turned into a sentimental girl. I chuckled at that thought.


It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
How do you sleep

It's been almost about a year since you saw the scene and it was still fresh in my mind. I was being stabbed over and over again, when I refresh my memory and see you standing in the middle of the parking lot, trying to hold your tears back.

The memory was still very vivid. Every night, when I'd close my eyes to sleep, all I could see is your face and the sadness that came along with it. I would groan and scream my head off on a pillow.

One night, Alice had heard me scream and she came busting through my door.

"What happened Edward?" She asked me with concern in her eyes.

"I can't do this anymore Alice! I can't!" I yelled at her and she took a step forward, embracing me.

"Yes you can. Just wait until it's the right time."

"What if the right time will never come Alice? What if—" I paused, dreading the next words that would come out of my mouth.

"Trust me Edward. It will come." She reassured me.

"I just don't get how she can sleep." I closed my eyes and opened them again. "Because I can't."

Baby all that I hear from my friends
Again again and again compliments 'bout you
They say we saw your girl at the game
And damn we gotta say a big mistake by you

Not only did your body bang
But I miss the conversation too
Tell me that you're gettin' no sleep
Can't think can't eat till I come see you

If I had my way come and getcha girl
In your favorite car with the missing top
Remember 'round my way where we used to park
And did all those things to steal your heart

I heard my friends talk about her in school today. They said that she was having the time of her life. She was enjoying the company of her other friends. She was still looking like a goddess, she always was. It was really agonizing hearing them talk about her having fun and living her life like nothing had happened. But I probably deserved this for causing her much pain.

I missed everything about her: her smile, her voice, her eyes, her hair, her scent and her lips. I missed kissing her every single day and holding her petite body against mine. I also missed hissing at other boys and telling them to back off because she was mine. I know, again with the possessiveness.

It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
How do you sleep

Oh-uh oh-uh oh-uh oh
Oh-uh oh-uh oh-uh oh

It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
It's been about a year now
Ain't seen or heard from you
I been missin' you crazy
How do you how do you sleep
I found the letter you wrote me
It still smells just like you
Damn those sweet memories
How do you how do you sleep
How do you sleep
Oh-uh oh-uh oh-uh oh

It would have been our 4th year anniversary, yes, fourth, if we were still together. Alice had to torture me even more by inviting Bella over for dinner and sleepover.

"Why Alice? Are you trying to kill me?" I asked her, clearly frustrated by her attempts.

"No Edward! I feel like something good is going to happen. So I trusted my instincts and went ahead and invited Bella over." Alice explained. I sighed. "Don't worry Edward. It'll be fine. You can lock yourself in your room if you want to. But I don't think that's going to help." Then she went on her way.

The doorbell rang. I stiffened. I wanted to get up and answer the door myself but I felt like my butt was glue on the love seat and my feet were nailed on the floor.

"Alice! The door!" I called.

She came down running down the staircase immediately giving me a confused look. "Edward, couldn't you have gotten up and answered the door yourself instead of yelling for me?"

"I couldn't move." I answered monotonously. She laughed and went her way.

"Hey Bella! Come on in." I heard Alice's greeting.

I wanted to run and hide under a rock but something was telling me that I should stay instead. What could be worst than this?

"Hey Edward." Bella spoke to me. I was shock. I was still processing what she had just said in my mind. I wanted to say something back but something was preventing me; it was like there was a hairball stuck in my throat.

"Uhm, Edward? Bella said hi." Alice stated through gritted teeth.

I finally got the nerve to stand up and say the stupidest thing in the entire universe. "Hello Bella. Excuse me; I have to do the laundry." And then I walked away in humiliation. I heard giggles behind me.

I had locked myself in my room for dinner, just like Alice said. I figured that it would be better to think things through and to actually prepare myself and say something clever and not be embarrassed in the presence of Bella again.

I took the letter that Bella wrote in my hands, and started reading it repeatedly. I kept reading it until I heard a knock on my door.

"Go Away Alice!" I screamed.

"It's not Alice. It's me." It was Bella. At that moment, a million questions ran through my head. Should I let her in? What if she just wants to say she doesn't care for me anymore? What if she wants to tell me she doesn't want to see my face again? What if she asks me to stay away from her, forever? I guess there was only one solution: I hid the letter and then I opened the door.

There she stood, like an angel, with a tray of food in her hands. "I'm assuming that you're starving since you missed dinner, so I brought you food."

I opened the door a little wider so she could come in. She set the tray on my desk. "Ok, so, I guess I'll be going my way then."

Say it Edward! Say it! I opened my mouth and nothing came out.

She was about to close the door when I yelled, "How do you sleep, Bella?"

She turned around giving me a confused look. "Excuse me?"

"I said, how do you sleep?" I said with even more confidence.

"Lying on a bed with a pillow on my head." She answered, but it came out like a question.

I chuckled. "No, I meant, how do you sleep at night? Because I can't." I looked at the floor, ready to be laughed at.

"What do you mean Edward?" She took a step closer.

"No," I shook my head. "Just forget about it."

I sat on the foot of my bed and waited for her to leave. But I didn't hear the door close. I heard her come closer and she lifted my chin with her fingers so I could stare straight into her eyes. "Tell me Edward."

"Bella, I probably look like a zombie now from the lack of sleep I have gotten over the past few months. It was hard for me to fall asleep because every time I closed my eyes, your face would appear and sweet memories of us together, keep playing in my head like a movie. It was painful."

"Then why didn't you open your eyes, Edward?" She asked, tears forming in her eyes.

"Because wherever I look, I would still see you. I swear, I was or am going nuts. I didn't know what to do. I lost a part of me when you had left. It was nowhere to be found. Now, tell me, how do you sleep without all the worries?"

She sat next to me and sighed. "Every night, I would look at the picture of the both of us that was on my bedside table. I'd close my eyes and remember all those unforgettable memories of us together and I would let it play in my head until I would fall asleep.

"It made me feel that we were perfect together; we were unstoppable, that no one could ever take away the feeling that we feel for each other. And also, even though we weren't together, you were still there because you were a part of me. You hold a big part of my life Edward. It was like your soul was attached to mine, that I would never go anywhere without you.

"And that's what kept me through all these times. The thought that someday, in a million years or so, in our other life, we would always find a way to find each other and be happy again."

I looked at her and a single tear drop fell on her cheeks. I wiped it with my thumb and I did what I wanted to do in a very long time. I kissed her hard on the lips pulling her so she would sit on my lap. It was a kiss of a lifetime. I had missed this feeling; the feeling of completeness.

We both pulled apart, wanting to breathe some oxygen and I saw her smile. "Now, do you know how you would sleep tonight?"

I gave her a peck on the lips and smiled at her. "Yes, with you in my arms."


WOOOOHOOOOO!

Ohmegod!

I was stuck in the hospital today so I was sooooo bored that I just had to write a story and thus, this little oneshot, was BORN! Lol!

Tell me what you think of it please please please!

I worked very hard on it, although it probably stinks but... oh well...

Them reviews would be lovely.. heheh