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Author's Note: I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to answer some of your questions, but hopefully this chapter helped with that. It didn't actually turn out the way I planned so I hope you guys don't get disappointed because I really did try in this chapter, but I've been so busy with work and school. So ya, happy reading.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Thousands Of Reasons To Smile

Chapter Forty-Six

Rolling in the deep



"Protego Maximus!" Tom yelled creating a shield.

"Harry whats wrong!" Charlus yelled at him, "talk to us!"

"Nobody cares!" Harry yelled putting more force on Tom's shield.

"Nobody cares? What are you talking about? We're your brothers! Were family! We care!" Charlus yelled back at him. It was hard to hear will the loud gust of wind blowing around making the room like a hurricane.

"Harry stop it!" Tom yelled. "STUPEFY!"

Harry blocked the spell just as Tom ran after him, knocking Harry down to the ground.

"What's wrong with you?" Tom yelled as Harry kept kicking at him, everything, to try to get away from Tom.

"LET ME GO!" Harry yelled and tried to use his magic to blow Tom away, but Tom had Harry firmly pinned. "I HATE YOU. I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

"Well I love you." Tom whispered to Harry. The effects of those words made Harry cry. "Don't … don't-"

"I love you, Harry-"

"SHUT UP!" Harry lashed out, magically electrocuting Tom, even making him bleed, but Tom didn't budge from Harry.



Tom looked up at Charlus whom was rooted to the stop, not knowing what to do.

"Charlus... the spell."

"You don't mean?"

"Just do it!"

"Lateo Leto!"


Harry went still as soon as the spell hit him. Harry felt a strange pain in his head and he realized he wasn't breathing and he couldn't make himself breathe. He felt... well, he felt nothing, but it wasn't the same feeling he had gotten last time when Charlus had hit him with the spell. If he had wanted to, Harry figured, he could have blocked the spell, but his emotions had distracted him and got the better of him.

"Harry?" Tom whispered to him when Harry had stopped moving and just laid there still pinned underneath Tom. He was so still, seemingly staring up at nothing.

"Mum and Dad are going to bloody kill me!" Charlus whined in distressed as he covered his face."Harry just recovered from that spell!"

(Harry? I'm here, it's okay. Just tell me what's wrong so I can help you...) Tom tried again through telepathy to snap Harry out of it.

Finally Harry made movement to sit up and Tom let him as he unpinned Harry. Though Harry didn't make any effort to move very far as he pulled Tom into a hug, just burying his head in the crock of Tom's neck. It was then when Harry could finally drag in a gulp of in the whole room had calmed down. It was so eerily quiet.

"I'm sorry." Harry whispered to Tom. "Please don't hate me-"

"What's wrong Harry? What happened?" Tom asked frowning in confusion as he held onto Harry tighter.

"Harry are you okay? Did I perform the spell right? How do you feel?" Charlus asked getting down on his knees, next to his brothers.

"I... I feel light headed. I-I mean, I don't feel miserable or whatever. I just feel... I don't know, not angry I guess." Harry said letting go of Tom as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Tom! Why did you make me cast that spell! He doesn't feel anything!" Charlus whined.

"Because I knew you would cast it right, this time around." Tom murmured as Charlus looked at Tom speechless.

Harry hid a smile as he looked away from the brothers. Tom, very rarely ever gave Charlus any credit to his magic work.

"Harry, what happened? Tell me, you were past furious." Tom asked concerned.

Sighing Harry covered his face as he answered. "I caught Alphard and Jared kissing."

"He did what? That's disgusting." Tom asked livid on Harry's behalf.

"Are you sure? I mean, I thought Alphard hated Morgan." Charlus asked looking disturbed.

Tom glared at Charlus. "Clearly, Harry saw them kissing, Charlus."

"I'm sorry, Harry. So does that mean you guys are over? I think you should talk to Alphard first before you decide anything."

Tom looked at Charlus like he was stupid. "Of course not, Harry doesn't even need to waste his time- you reap what you sow-"

"Can I sleep in the Gryffindor dormitories tonight?" Harry asked quietly.

"Yes, of course. We can probably even make it permanent." Tom answered helping Harry stand up.

"Tom, your cuts..." Charlus said looking at Tom perplexed.

"I'm sorry." Harry said looking down, feeling ashamed of himself.

Tom looked at down at his body and realized that Harry had wandlessly healed his wounds that he had inflected on him.

"It's okay. I understand." Tom said squeezing Harry's arm reassuringly.

"I was angry and hurt and I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you guys. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you." Harry said rubbing his eyes.

"It's okay, Harry. Really. No harm done." Charlus said pulling Harry towards him and hugging him. Charlus kissed the top of Harry's head before letting him go.

"I've never seen you that angry before." Tom muttered.

"Yeah, usually Tom is the aggravated one. All the time."

Tom glared at Charlus before turning back to Harry.

"I never told any guy or girl that I loved them, you know," Harry said trying to look indifferent about the situation, "not even Ginny and we were to be married."

"Harry-" Charlus started.

"It's just not a word that I have ever used lightly, but it's okay. I... I don't feel anything about it. Not right now anyway. Right now all I can feel is calm. Congratulations on actually performing that spell right, Charlus." Harry said trying to make light of things.

"It's supposed to make you happy, cheerful-"

"I was pissed off a great deal. I think that has a lot to do with it. I've learned not to bottle up my emotions, that it becomes a bad thing, especially to people you care about. I just wanted to release all that anger out of me."

"You are certain, that you are not hurt?" Tom asked Harry quietly.

"I'm fine, really." Harry tried to muster a smile for Tom.

(Don't, Harry. It's okay. I understand that you're hurting)

Harry shook his head and looked away from Tom. (All I wanted in this past... this life is a little bit of love to take the pain away)

(Take the pain away?)

Harry shook his head negativity. (It's nothing)


"Were you're family Harry. Tom and I. We never use that word lightly as well. You know that we love you." Charlus said to Harry.

"Yeah... I know." Harry whispered.

"It should bother you that you were dating a selfish prat who cares about only himself." Tom commented.

Harry felt baffled.

"Tom, don't be so insensitive!" Charlus snapped at Tom.

Harry remembered how Alphard had begun to constantly follow him around everywhere. Harry wasn't sure why though, whether it was for the company or to get to know him better, but he didn't mind it at all. In fact, he rather enjoyed having Alphard by his side all the time, even if it did annoyed his brothers to no end.

"Alphard Black is a selfish, arrogant git-"

"Tom. Stop it. Please." Harry said covering his face in grief. "Alphard is not a complete git, he's the most wonderful person I've ever met. Yes he can be a bit… thoughtless, and selfish sometimes."

"Sometimes?" Tom said incredulously.

"Yes, sometimes," Harry replied sternly, "but he's my best friend."

"So you're going to forgive him, just like that?" Tom asked aggravated.

"No of course not. I'm not going to forgive him... I can't trust him. Not now anyway. I don't know, Tom. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know if Alphard was trying to give me a sign that he wanted to be out of the relationship or if he really does like Morgan. I just... I just don't know what to do right now, okay. I'm sorry." Harry felt defeated. He didn't know what to do about the situation.

Sighing, Tom grabbed Harry's wrist. "I'm sorry," he said softly, and Charlus was amazed that Tom could even speak with a tone like that."Come on." Tom said leading Harry towards the exit entrance.

"What is this place if you don't mind me asking?" Charlus asked.

"It's the room of requirements. It can turn into whatever you want it to. Nobody knows about this place. I'm surprised you guys found it, but I'm guessing that had more to do with Tom."

Tom was about to answer, but just then the whole room began to shake. Dust began falling down from the ceiling. It felt like an earthquake.

"What was that?" Charlus asked looking around the room.

"I don't know." Tom murmured frowning.

Harry knew what it was. He remembered distinctly what that felt like.

"Hogwarts is being attacked."

The corridors were deserted and the only living things still about were Charlus, Harry, and Thomas Potter. At least they thought they were. A platinum blonde haired boy with gray eyes was hurrying down an empty staircase to the Entrance Hall towards the Potter brothers.

The entire castle shook once more.

"It has to be an earthquake!" Charlus exclaimed.

"That's impossible! The castle is protected from earthquakes." Tom retorted.

"What are you idiots doing? Come on!" The head boy grabbed Harry by the wrist as he ran around the corner, somewhat dragging Harry with him, whilst Charlus and Tom sped after them towards the Slytherin common room.

"Abraxas, what's going on?" Harry asked trying to keep up with his cousin.

"We are being attacked by werewolves is what's going on!" was Abraxas angry voice.

"Password?" The portrait of Salazar Slytherin asked.

"Serpent King." Abraxas answered.

"I refuse to be in the Slytherin-"

"Shut up, Charlus. What do you mean were being attacked by werewolves?" Tom asked Abraxas as they were lead inside the Slytherin common room.

"Werewolves? Yes, unfortunately we are Potter." Ignatius stated seemingly amused. Practically all the Slytherins were standing around talking amongst themselves.

"What are we going to do?" Harry asked.

"We are doing nothing. The Headmaster and the staff are handling it. All the Head boy's and girls were ordered to keep everybody in their respective houses." Abraxas answered.

Harry hated that. He hated how everybody saw him as young and inexperienced. Though he knew very well that the staff, especially Albus could handle werewolves, he hated that he wouldn't be able to help out this time around in the war. Not that he wasn't thankful in that aspect, it was simply that he hated seeing others hurt when he felt sure he could prevent it. Very soon though, Harry knew that the fight between Gellert and Albus was to come. Harry wondered if Grindelwald sent those werewolves to attack Hogwarts.

"Are you all right? I heard you arguing with Black from inside the Slytherin common room so I came to investigate-"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Harry interrupted, Harry knew he'd never be able to lie convincingly to Abraxas, so he just shrugged and shook his head.

"You sure? I was only trying to stun you. You didn't look so good and you were very angry just an hour ago-"

"I'm older than thirteen you know. I don't need you keeping tabs on me."

Abraxas just raised an eyebrow at Harry.

"Suit yourself, but I'd rather you didn't worry about me."

"And I'd rather I did. You're my favorite cousin."

"Tom and I are standing right here." Charlus commented.

"Oh great, who let in the Gryffindorks!" A Slytherin by the name of Sylvester Mulciber commented.

He was a sixth year and thought to be the next top dog once Abraxas leaves school.

"Shove off, Mulciber. Do not bother the Potters while they are here, do you understand? That goes for everybody in this room or lose house points." Abraxas ordered.

Practically all the Slytherins rolled their eyes and went about their business, ignoring the Gryffindor's in the room.

"I'll be back, I have to go talk to Caroline." Abraxas said walking towards the head girl through the mass of Slytherins.

"I was just talking to Orion, boy that kid can become very dim witted when it comes to people's feelings." Ignatius said to Harry.

Harry smiled amused. "I know." he said.

"Really? I've never once seen you talk to Orion Black."

Harry shrugged. "I've heard."

"Oh yeah, I bet Al has told you a lot of stories." Ignatius said smirking.

Harry's smile dropped.

"I guess you haven't heard about Alphard Black's fidelity." Tom commented.

Ignatius frowned. "What? Fidelity?"

"Alphard was caught snogging Jared Morgan." Charlus said straight forward.

"Alphard wouldn't do something like that." Ignatius said is disbelief.

"Well he did." Tom said angrily.

Ignatius looked around the room. "I honestly haven't seen Alphard since dinner, but Morgan is lurking around somewhere in here."

"I wouldn't expect the coward to show his face anytime soon." Tom muttered under his breath.

"You're not going to be sleeping in the Slytherin dormitories for a while, are you Harry?" Ignatius asked frowning.

"No... not for awhile." Harry said looking down.

"Tom, where are you going?" Charlus asked as he watched walk away from them.

"I'm going to get some of Harry's things from his dorm room. I'll be back." Tom said striding away.

Tom jumped startled as he heard loud banging and cursing coming from the boy's bathroom. Tom had an idea whom it was. Quietly walking towards the bathroom door, Tom gently opened it to see what was going on inside.

What he saw wasn't Alphard Black. Alphard wasn't the type who would stand in the middle of the room, running his agitated hands through his hair. Alphard never had bloodshot eyes and worry lines on his face. This new default setting of Alphard was on misery and anger; a mode Tom had never really associated Alphard with.

He was not going to feel bad for Alphard. Nope. Not one bit. Not after what he did to his brother.

Tom watched from the crack of the doorway once more as Alphard slowly slid down the wall and bit his lip against the tears that were welling in his eyes.

"Dammit," Alphard cursed, sniffling and rubbing at his eyes angrily.

"Bloody hell." Tom said to himself as he opened the door wider.

"You're a bloody curse, you know that?" Tom said walking into the bathroom. He locked the door behind him as he slid to the floor beside Alphard.

Alphard snorted, his lips turning up in a bitter grin. "Yeah. It always seems so in my family. So you've come to yell at me?"


"Why not? To mess with my head? You're already late for that, buddy. Everything about me is messed up."

"You fucked up."

"I bloody damn well know I fucked up Potter! I fucked up! I... No one in my family seems to enjoy talking except me. Talking about the stuff that really matters. I had that with, Harry. I had a person whom actually loved me. Me. Nobody likes me. Not even Dorea liked me. She never ever once in her life talked to me or acknowledged me till Harry came along. Harry is never going to forgive me." Another round of sobs came out of Alphard.

Tom sighed and rolled his eyes. "Why did you kiss Morgan in the first place, Black. Do you actually like Morgan?"

Tears stung at Alphard's eyes, and he clenched his fists shaking his head negatively. "No! No I don't! It... it just happened! I didn't plan the kiss! Just the very thought that I did sickens me! I... I'm a sorry excuse for a wizard."

"Yes, pretty much, but... trust is earned, not given. You have to earn Harry's trust back if you want to be with him again."

"He doesn't want me back, Potter. I'm pretty sure we established that. Besides, there will be a line of people wanting to be with Harry once they realize we've broken up." There was so much pain laced in Alphard words.

Did Harry really mean that much to Alphard?

"And what will you do? Go back to Morgan?"

"Sod off, Tom! It was a bloody soddin' mistake! I was pissed off at the wanker, that he was here and that he got sorted into Slytherin and that I would have to see him every bloody day!"

"Most people... normal ones, don't kiss their enemies. Unless I'm mistaken."

"I fucking hate Jared Morgan! I fucking hate you and I'm fucking fed up with this conversation!" Alphard abruptly stood up and unlocked the door, spouting away as he left Tom behind.

When Tom finally came down the steps with a bag full of Harry's items, he found his brother seated in one of the chairs, arms braced on his knees, head hung too low for Tom to see his face. Abraxas was crouched down in front of Harry, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. It seemed like Abraxas was trying to comfort Harry.

Charlus met Tom half way across the room. "I think we should just let Abraxas talk to Harry for awhile, you know?"


"Harry's brain sometimes goes ten times faster than ours, well mostly mine and Abraxas seems to be able to help more than we can at the moment. Besides, Harry is happiest when he can sit and mull things over without his over protective brothers overbearing him," Charlus explained to Tom.

Tom frowned. The way Tom saw it, Harry was his responsibility, not Abraxas. He, after all, was the older brother and knew Harry through and through. This meant that not only was he responsible for Harry's safety, but the safety of his existence. Abraxas was over stepping Tom's boundaries. Tom shifted his weight from one foot to another and looked away from his younger sibling.

Charlus laughed amused by his brother's behavior. "Don't be jealous, Tommy."

"My name is Tom."

Harry dragged his feet over to his bed and would have loved nothing more than to have fallen backwards onto it and slept for hours. But in his current state he knew that it wouldn't be a good idea. He was not allowed to go to the Gryffindor common rooms after all because of the threats of werewolves coming back to retaliate the school, so everybody had to remain in their respective houses. Tom had definitely put up a fight when the Head boy of Gryffindor came to retrieve them. Still it wasn't fair that both Charlus and Tom got to leave while he was stuck in the Slytherin house with both Alphard and Jared.

All in all though, it was best to just get it over with already anyway, he wasn't actually some hormonal depressed teenager...well...

Ignatius came strolling into the room as well and plopped down on his bed that was closets to the window.

"Y'okay Harry?" Ignatius asked. He turned to look at Harry over his shoulder.

Yes, no, maybe. Harry didn't know. He was tired. He was angry at Alphard for betraying him. "M'tired."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I don't think so. I don't know." Harry didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to talk at all.

"Harrison, go take a shower," Ignatius gave Harry a once-over before turning back to undress, "You look like crap."

If Harry had been feeling any better he might have replied back, but he wasn't feeling well, and the sound of a hot shower was enough to get him to do as Ignatius suggested.

Twenty minuets later when Harry emerged from the bathroom in his pajamas, all his roommates had returned in the room, which included Avery, Nott, and Alphard Black. Jared Morgan didn't have to share a room with them after all. His roommates were sleeping, except Alphard, he was sitting up on his bed against his head board looking up when Harry came out the bathroom. And Harry had a nagging suspicion that Ignatius was only pretending to be sleeping.


Harry smiled. (Joxer, my you have gotten bigger my friend)

Harry looked at his phoenix whom was sitting on his perch next to his bed. Joxer sat proudly as he ruffled up his feathers. He definitely wasn't a baby anymore.

Neither Harry nor Alphard spoke as Harry made his way over to his bed to lay down. Harry would rather face werewolves than be trapped in this room. Somehow, it was less terrifying than having to face Alphard. Alphard, who was just sitting there, doing nothing. Not saying a single word but instead apparently determined to just stare at him.

(You are going to forgive him are you not?)

Harry looked at Joxer frowning. (What makes you think that?)

(You two bonded, hard to break something like that)

(Alphard didn't seem to think so when he was snogging Jared Morgan)

(You are not human if you do not make mistakes)

Joxer gave Harry a look before making a soft trill and disappearing from the room.

(Well gee, thanks for your help Joxer!)

Sighing Harry thought about what he was going to tell Alphard now that he was calm and more aware of his senses. Looking up, Harry saw that Alphard was still staring at him from across the room where he sat on his bed. Alphard didn't look to good himself, he looked exactly how Harry looked hours ago.

Harry had his mind made up. He was a grown adult in technical sense and Harry felt it was the right thing to do. He had to tell Alphard instead of prolonging it.

"Come here." Harry whispered, not having the courage enough to even look at Alphard.

Harry got in response to his words was a miserable, confused look from Alphard, seemingly knowing what Harry might have to say. Harry didn't like that look, but that expression was all it took to have Alphard springing into action and sitting next to Harry on the edge of his bed.

"It was only a kiss I know," Harry said wandlessly closing the curtains around them and silencing spell so that nobody could hear him speak. "And I know that I'm more than likely overreacting to this situation, but I feel that it would be best for us to just take a break from each other. I mean were always together and I know it would... it would give you time to think of your options, if you truly want this between us-"

"Harry- I don't want anybody else, I don't want Morgan! I made a mistake and your breaking up with me because of it-"

"What I'm saying is that, right now, I don't want to be with you, not as boyfriend's."

"You... you said that you needed me... that-that you loved me-"

"Right now I can't even look at you without remembering you and Jared kissing. Just give me some space Alphard. We need a break from each other anyway."

"You want me to date other people?" Alphard asked Harry incredulously.

Harry closed his eyes and sighed. "I don't want you to feel like you're bound to me. If you want to date other people, I'm not going to stop you."

'Bullshit. If Alphard dated somebody else I'd truly die inside.'

Alphard reached up and brushed the hair out of Harry's face. "If that's what you want," Alphard croaked out before he leaned down and kissed the side of Harry's left cheek, "but I'm not going to date other people. I don't want you to get any ideas and start dating some body else. No one else gets to have you. All of you is for me and me alone. You belong to me. I'm the only one you're ever gonna need. I'll just wait for you till you forgive me, Harry."

Harry opened his mouth to speak but closed them again. He couldn't find the words to express exactly what he was feeling. There was too many emotions running through him and if he was being honest, he had a feeling if he actually tried to speak, he'd only end up freaking Alphard out.

Instead, he let actions take over. Leaning forward, he gently kissed Alphard.

There was no tongue involved, just lips to lips as Harry willed Alphard to understand what he was trying to say. Alphard's lips moved against him as they kissed over and over again. After a moment, he pulled back. Alphard's eyes were still closed and he watched as they slowly flickered open before locking on to him.

Harry didn't know what to say so he let the silence speak for himself and held the gaze, long past the point of comfort. Harry hoped it would end there, but Alphard was looking at him, studying him, like he was looking for something more. Harry looked down at his lap.

"We're still on a break." Harry said after awhile.

"Okay... " Alphard made to kiss Harry one more time.

The world titled but Harry barely noticed as his back hit his bed. Shifting until he was sprawled on the bed with Alphard settled above him, holding part of his weight with an arm braced next to Harry's head kissing him. For reasons he couldn't even begin to understand, Harry felt this strange almost physical pull towards the silvery eyed teen above him.

"You're a real wonder you are, mate." Harry grinned, shaking his head, "No brains yet you still manage to make me feel... something."

"Loved?" Alphard supplied.

Harry stiffened. "I could think of a few choice words for myself, thanks. And if you don't stop coming closer, someone's gonna get more than just words."

Alphard immediately pulled off of Harry and looked away.

"I'm sorry." Harry said feeling guilty by his own words.

"Goodnight, Harry." Alphard said still not making eye contact with Harry as he made his way to his bed.

He couldn't tell what day it was at all, and it was that thought that helped him manage to blink his heavy eyelids all the way open.


The voice wasn't at all who he expected to be, and he craned his head towards the speaker, who was to his right.


"Good to see you awake, son," Boniface said quietly, and there was a sigh of relief with his words. He moved close to Tom's bedside until he was able to be right next to him. "How are you feeling?"

Confused. Bewildered. Beyond puzzled. "Who are you?"