Dear Mother, I'm Giving You a Second Chance
Chapter One- Dear Mother, Will You Accept Me?
"I want to repay them. I want them to be repaid, more than the number of times they smiled for me." Kakeru Manabe, Fruits Basket Vol. 19
Somehow, today didn't feel like a good day.
My name is Sohma Yuki, and I am part of a family that has been cursed for years. What is our curse you ask? We are all possessed by the animals of the Chinese zodiac. Well, I should not say all of us, just the ones who are kept on the inside of the Sohma estate. Though there are a few exceptions to the rule. I am one of them, along with Shigure Sohma and Kyo Sohma. Shigure is possessed by the spirit of the Dog, whereas Kyo is the Cat. I am the Rat-cursed. Then there is Tohru Honda, who is not even a part of the Sohma family. She just happened upon us one day, after we discovered she was living in a tent in the woods till her Grandfather's renovations were completed. Though even after they were finished, she continued living with us. For now, this is all you need to know in order to understand this story.
Somehow today didn't feel like a good day. I just knew. The sky was cloudy, and it looked like rain was coming, it's almost summer, there isn't supposed to be rain. I was thankful it was Sunday, and I didn't have to wake up early for school, so I was properly awake when I headed downstairs for breakfast. Tohru was smiling as she said, "Good morning, Yuki-Kun!" I smiled back at her and wondered as I sometimes did, how does she manage to smile so brightly? Tohru has been through so much, and almost all of it relates somehow to the Sohma's. Though I am grateful we had nothing to do with her mother's accident in our first year of high school.
I hear Honda Kyoko-San was an extraordinary woman. Tohru says that she was in a gang in high school, I found that heard to believe at first because of Tohru's endearing nature, but soon accepted it after I heard Uotani-Sans story of how Kyoko saved her from her own gang back in middle school. Really, all the stories that everyone has to tell, they shock me so much. It never occurred to me that other people, people outside the Sohma family, I never thought that they too suffered. Though little by little, I think I am becoming more observant of the small details around me.
It was soon after I had finished my breakfast that I heard another set of feet coming down the stairs. An orange head of hair quickly turned the corner into the kitchen. "Tohru, please tell me it's not raining. I have the worst feeling it is…" Kyo Sohma flopped down on the other end of the table. To be honest, he looked half dead. I take pity on him on the rainy days; he gets so exhausted, just because he's the Cat. Tohru frowned, and I could already hear Kyo sighing in defeat. "I'm sorry Kyo-Kun, it's raining, really hard too." Kyo swung his head back full force, not remembering the wall behind him. "Ouch," he cried out. "Fucking wall, in my way all the time…" He muttered this last part under his breath.
I then heard the phone ringing from the living room, and I knew there was no way that Shigure was coming out to answer it. I briskly stood up and walked to the phone. When I picked it up I heard Hatsuharu in the background, he is the Ox in the zodiac. "Are you sure we need to tell him this? Do you honestly think he'll give a shit about her? After what she did to him? I don't think he will." Then there was Momiji, the Rabbit possessed. "Haru! Don't say such mean things like that, I think he secretly cares for her. You don't lose such a strong bond so easily, even I still love my mother, even after that happened.
Hearing that, I remembered what Momiji had gone through when he was young. It was common really, but still, no one ever learns how to handle it. His mother, when she found out that her son was cursed by the rabbit's spirit, she began to go crazy. Just the fact that she could not even hold her own son drove her insane. The stress from this curse led her to asking Hatori to wipe her memories of Momiji. She didn't even hesitate when she had said that she wished she had never given birth to "that thing." Still to this day, she hasn't even remembered that she had a boy at one time in her life. Of course she hasn't, Hatori's memory wipe is flawless. I truly feel sorry for Momiji, but I am happy that he can still smile, along with the rest of us.
"Hello?" Hatori was on the phone. He must have realized it was no longer ringing. "Hatori?" I answered politely. I knew it had to be serious if it was Hatori on the line, but who is this woman Haru was talking about? "Good, it's you, Yuki. I have some rather… Unfortunate news." At this, my curiousity was peaking. Good thing I'm not a cat, I won't get killed. "What is it, Hatori?" Hatori was hesitating, trying to predict how I was going to react. "Your mother, she's dying."
I almost dropped the phone.
The words hit me immediately, but I didn't know how I was supposed to respond to something that huge. She's my mother, I should be horrified. Yet, she abandoned me, I shouldn't care. I never knew her, I should see her. She never visited me, I shouldn't visit her. "She has cancer, Yuki. She only has a month to live. Two at the most." Cancer? How did she get cancer? What sort of condition is she even in? Why do I get the feeling that I want to visit her? This is insane, how can she be dying now? Just when I was finally becoming comfortable with my life, she brings in a whole other layer to deal with. I can't handle this.
Then, "Yuki! Shit, I don't care what she might have done to you; you already know what my mother did to me! I still love her, and I still want to be with her! You never even knew your mom that well, and that should make you want to see her even more. What better time to meet someone than on their deathbed? Besides, she can't really complain, she'll die soon anyway."
I was in absolute shock. Momiji had just sworn. It was the first time I had heard that from him, and because of that, I knew he was totally serious. His words had also struck me hard. It was true, I never knew her at all. I should take this opportunity to learn more about the woman who gave birth to me. Yet, there was still something holding me back. "She is your family, isn't she?" Momiji's voice was cold as he said those words, and I had the feeling that in that single moment, he had the power to be worse than Akito could ever hope to be. It's amazing how death can change people.
Family. "She is your family, isn't she?" Those words rung in my head, over and over again. Until suddenly, I was crying. The phone fell to the ground at last, and my hands landed forcefully onto the table, I was barely able to stay standing. The tears fell so freely from my eyes, as if they had waited years for this moment. From the kitchen I could hear Tohru and Kyo whispering to each other. Though, I didn't care. It felt so wonderful to cry, I can't remember the last time I did this. The uncontrollable tears and weak noises I knew I was making. I felt vulnerable, but free. Anything was worth that feeling. Now, I just had to see her.
I blame Momiji for this. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be standing in front of her door right now. I was truly afraid of going inside, and I wasn't sure how she would react to my visit. I genuinely wanted to see her and talk to her, but now I felt like walking back home. Right now, facing her was the scariest thing in the world.
I couldn't back down now; I was already at her door. I hesitated for a moment before raising my hand and lightly tapping the door. The reply was muffled by a cough, but I could still make out the words, "Come in." It was my mother's voice, but it sounded tired, and dead. I opened the door at a painfully slow speed, but once open I stood appalled at how messy the living room was. Tissues were laid everywhere, and pillows strewn across the floor, and garbage everywhere the eye could see. My mother looked fine, but I quickly noticed the heart monitor attached to her arm.
Her eyes, the same shade of amethyst as my own, were dull and held an almost longing for the sweet reprieve of death. She looked at me with those eyes, and my heart began to ache for her. "Yuki?" Her voice was a soft questioning whisper. All I could do was nod my head. Never before had I seen her so powerless, and I was scared of this. Scared of her, and scared of myself.
"Why are you here?" Her pained voice called out to me.
"I'm here," I said, with my voice staggering, "to give you a second chance at the life you never got to have. With the son you never got to raise." I landed on my knees as my legs gave out on me. All I wanted now was for her to accept me. If she didn't… I don't want to think about that right now.
"Please accept me," I whispered in a voice just as weak as hers.
Please tell me what you thought! Should I continue? Or is it a waste of my time? This is my first at a story involving Yuki and his Mother... Did I do ok?
Either way, Please REVIEW!!! ^_^