Now this Chapter is completely mine! Yay!
Some unsigned reviews – and answers I have for them.
Reviews are in Italics
My replies are normal.
Bexster 2009-04-03 . chapter 1
If you hate the book so much why do you even care what we fans think? I mean, It's us who are supposedly wasting our time you brainless bitch.
The next review is from whom I'm assuming is the same person. I wrote this at the beginning of the chapter one. I was trying to get across the point that I rather that If you going to review, please sign in. If you ask questions in your review, how am I going to answer them?
Anyways point is I wrote this:
Before we get into this I'd just like to say, if your going to review, please sign in. I like to reply to reviews, so I can explain myself to those who have questions.
For example, I got this today :
Bexster 2009-04-03 . chapter 1
If you hate the book so much why do you even care what we fans think? I mean, It's us who are supposedly wasting our time you brainless bitch.
I would of love to respond with a cheerful hello, and thanks for taking the time to review. I would also state that I don't really care what Twilight fans think – I suppose the title of the story is slightly deceptive. I would say that its also me wasting my time writing this – so it all evens out.
Also, I would go on to say that I did have a brain... Once. My doctor will attest for that.
Now, I think the reviewer took offense, because I got this review next:
ummmm......okay 2009-04-03 . chapter 1
First things first. I didn't sign in because:
a) I don't have an account on FFnet, nor do I want on.e
Not saying you have to. But if you don't, don't ask me questions. How am I going to answer them, with my brain? I'll have to put it up public, just like this. If you were shy, I might just embarrass you. That was my concern.
I am trying to be as polite as possible, but I am obviously failing. Sorry.
b) Even if was in possession of an account, I wouldn't sign in because this is NOT going to be a very polite review and you would report me for it.
If I couldn't handle criticism, I really really wouldn't be writing this. I think it would be very of petty to report someone for reviewing. Please, give me SOME credit.
Oh and also, I'd like to apologise in advance for all of the forward slashes you'll see in the next few paragraphs. It's just that I don't want anything I write to be censored.
That's okay. If choose to swear at
me, then whatever, I understand. What I am doing lots of people don't
like, so I think it's reasonable you express yourself with vulgar
language if that's all you know. Fair go. Okay, so
now all of that's been cleared up, let's get down to business.
Okay, so now all of that's been cleared up, let's get down to business.
1) If you really hate Twilight so much, why are you even on this site, writing fanfiction, you horrible hateful b/itch?
It's a long story, but if you must know I am here because when I announced that I disliked Twilight in school, several people jumped up and interrogated me why. I was very verbal about my dislike of this book, stupid probably, but there you go. I like to think of myself as an upfront kind of person – I won't talk behind your back, I'll voice my opinions to your face, kinda thing.
Anyway, point is people would daily ask me why I didn't like Twilight. I got annoyed at repeating myself, so this opinion piece came into being. It was a collection of what I thought was the most convincing arguments.
Some the Twilight Fans laughed it off, other continue to throw dirty glares at me in the corridor. Anywho, one of my close friends dared me to put it up here. She said if I didn't die within a month due to rabid fangirl attacks, she would admit I was right and buy me a coke.
Sounded like a fair deal.
I knew about this site because I write Harry Potter Fanfiction under a different account. I decided I didn't want to risk losing viewers to my main story. SO here I am. You may think that this is cowardly, and maybe it is. Whatever.
Are you really that pathetic and stupid and just plain SAD that you have nothing better to do with your time than come up with annoying bullsh/it arguments like this?
Yes, I obviously am... Not really
though. I'm actually quite a happy person – I got a great life. And
as we already know, I didn't come up with all these arguments. 2)
"Also, I would go on to say that I did have a brain... Once. My
doctor will attest for that." I think maybe that when
you wrote this, you felt all witty and clever, but can I just say
that this entire sentence is just incredibly fu/cking lame? Not funny
at all. Furthermore, it doesn't make the least bit of
sense because you're meant to say 'attest to' NOT 'attest for'.
2) "Also, I would go on to say that I did have a brain... Once. My doctor will attest for that."
I think maybe that when you wrote this, you felt all witty and clever, but can I just say that this entire sentence is just incredibly fu/cking lame? Not funny at all.
Furthermore, it doesn't make the least bit of sense because you're meant to say 'attest to' NOT 'attest for'.
You can say that if you so desire. I'm not going to oppose your right to free speech.
In fact, thank you – I shall go back and fix that :) I should take something out of this. I realise now that if I am going to be smart allecky, I might as well to it properly.
I suppose I need to work on my humour and, apparently, my grammar.
3) These aren't even your arguments.
You plageurized everything here. You're nothing but a stealer! A very STUPID stealer because the stuff you copied from other people is not even good. Half of it doesn't make sense.
Yes – but I admitted it first up. I admit that I have stolen this without asking, see the note at the top of every chapter. I intended to ask before I posted this up but I never got around to it, so there you go.
I am inclined to disagree, I found these arguments very convincing. But I'm stupid, so what would I know? I would ask you not to insult the people who did write this, however. And if you are going to, do it to their face. Find them and talk to them via akype or whatever.
Don't tell me. I know nothing, I'm
stupid, remember? 4) There are grammar and spelling
mistakes everywhere in your writing. Can I give you a tip, sweetie?
Have you ever HEARD of Spellcheck? Use it.
4) There are grammar and spelling mistakes everywhere in your writing. Can I give you a tip, sweetie? Have you ever HEARD of Spellcheck? Use it.
You shouldn't be dependent on spell check. I use it, believe me. But Spell-Check doesn't do everything. I use UK standard when going over these.
I'm not going to defend myself and say that every on makes mistakes. That will probs just make you more angry. You seem like a very angry person, and I would not like to put to much stress on you.
Close you eyes now, if your as worried for your heart as I am, but everyone DOES make mistakes. Even published authors. Even your Ms. Meyer. For example, she uses the word chagrin out of the proper context several times.
I think I, someone who is still in
school, is allowed to make a couple pf mistakes if a so called author
makes them in published works. 5) I bet that you are
just some nasty, creepy little girl that has no friends and must
therefore come here and try and make everybody else's life miserable.
5) I bet that you are just some nasty, creepy little girl that has no friends and must therefore come here and try and make everybody else's life miserable.
I think "nasty, creepy little girl" is a wrong way to describe to me. When does someone stop being a girl for example, and what do you describe as creepy?
I describe Edward Cullen as creepy, and yet people disagree with me. I can tell you that I am most certainly NOT watching you while you sleep, or telling you what you can't do.
I think of you as a bit creepy, for example, I used your review as an example. I did this because it was short, and a simple way of showing something. You were obviously prowling around watching this story to have noticed I changed chapter one.
This story was very obviously Anti-Twilight. Why read it? I think you like being offended. Aand that's whjat I see as creepy.
On the subject of friends, I'm not going to waste my time when your so convinced that I'm a loser. Whatever, it's not like your the first. I don't mind those labels. I was called a loser because I handed in my assignment a week early once, so I take it as a compliment.
Sure me and my friends are a bit on the nerdy side. That doesn't bother me. If I continue to get the marks I do, I'll be their boss someday. I don't want to seem arrogant, but I'd rather have a small close-knit group of friends now and do well in life, then be popular now and be a loser for the rest of my life.
Anywho, lets keep going.
Well, you know what I think? I think that you are just a
fu/ckfaced little reject. I think that you are nothing more than a
piece of sh/it on the bottom of my shoe.
That's great that you think that. I hope it makes you happy. I'm not going to say I'm beautiful like a model, or even pretty at all. I can assure you though, I'm not completely " fu/ckfaced"
Is physical beauty really that important to you? You know you bring this up a lot.
I cannott beleive that you're from Australia too. People like you
should be banned from living. Not because you hate Twilight but
becuase you hate other people's happiness. Twilight fans are happy on
Well I think I can't believe that you think someone should get the death penalty for having a different opinion to the masses. I really don't hate peoples happiness. This is meant as a joke. Some people have appreciated that, and you obviously, have not.
Twilight fans aren't the only ones. I am quite happy here too. I love that fanfiction dot net has all these different archives all in the same place. It's very convenient.
I'd like to add in that where else would I post this but in the Twilight section? I hardly think this should be placed in the Harry Potter part. But if you disagree, by all means, REPORT AWAY!
Why do you feel the need to try and change that? And I'm not saying that you WILL change anything because let's face it, darling - your writing sucks.
I'm not trying to oppress any ones joy. I can't stress enough that I'm not trying to convert legions of Twilight fans to my side. I guess that the name of the story is a bit confusing. But that's what it was when I originally showed the people at my school who asked why I hated Twilight.
But the very fact that you are even writing something like this
shows that you are an awful, cow-like b/itch.
If that's all you think of me then fine... You know, your not a very creative swearer? If your going to abuse me please be imaginative and artistic.
So all in all, I think today we've established that you are:
a) pathetic and have no friends
Have we really estavlished this? Where your proof, where's your testimonies from my peers and where's your inspired cursing? "Have no friends" seems very anti-climatic to me. I think you could do better. I have a whole lot of respect and admiration for you – why arn't you living up to that?
b) stupid and boring
Hmm... How can I prove you wrong? How can I show you that I'm not an idiot? Does it require some IQ test? Or shall I conform to the pack madness and throw away my true feelings?
c) a moron
We've already been over my intelligence, your repeating yourself now.
d) a thief
*Sigh* Surely the fact that I publicly announced it and never claimed the work as my own has to count for something? No? Fair go. I accept.
e) lame and retarded
Now, that's a low blow for even you. Are you insulting the handicapped. That's not very politically correct. I'm not lame – I can walk fairly well. Thanks for your concern.
I assure you, I am mentally sound. Or are you refering to my intelligence, yet again? Please, a little diversity, if you will.
f) ugly (I'm assuming this from your personality and writing)
You can tell how physically attractive someone is via their writing style?! Talk about an awesome superpower!
Basically, what I'm trying to say is that nobody wants you here. So why don't you just go fu/ck off and get the he/ll away from this site?!
Ahh, thank you for paraphrasing.
I don't want to leave! I love Fanfiction dot net! Nooooooo, I shan't let you tear me away!
As for no one wanting me here – check the reviews. I have people declaring their love for me! Surely that means I'm wanted by some, or don't their opinions count because they differ from yours?
Are you so shallow minded that you will deny a group of peoples existence? That you will disregard them because they're different from you? That you would disallow several peoples right to free speech just because you don't like it?
And you say I'm trying to oppress peoples happiness.
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to review, your feedback is important to me.
Christine Welk 2009-04-03 . chapter 1
Do you have something against romance?
No, I do not. I enjoy romance, I do enjoy action and adventure more, but there's nothing wrong with a bit of love. Actually, sometimes a I crave it. I love sitting down with a romance book, and disregarding how stupid some parts of it is.
With Twilight something about the so called "Love" portrayed in it rubbed me wrong. I like seeing characters slowly realising that they love each other.
I suppose it just seemed to unrealistic to me. I really, really do not like Fated!love or Love at first sight.
I hope this clears a few things up for you, and thanks by the way. I love reviews.
Tal Squip 2009-04-03 . chapter 1
I get the borderline rape thing. thats why we all hate jacob. But you cant hate on the fact that the book is target nine year olds cant get enough. of course preteens like it. they're gonna see hannah montana too. and love it. But serious college through middle aged women like it too. because the plot isn't vacationing in Iceland. And the dialogue didn't kill itself. And edward is supposed to be hot. some people like this book. Its not a crime. hope you find a book that you freak out about and love too. XD
"but you cant hate on the fact that the book is target nine year olds cant get enough." I'm sorry but I don't quite understand this bit. I don't get what your trying to say. Do you mean I can't hate a book just because it was made for younger kids? Sorry, seriously I don't understand what you meant.
Well if you do mean that, then I get it was made for the younger girls demographic. And I don't hate it because of it. What I hate is that it was made for them, but is a terrible role model.
Do you see what I mean? I f your going to make a book for younger kids, I believe it should be checked so they don't get the wrong message. Twilight could be interpreted as find a hot guy and your life will be swell. That's what I mean. They really shouldn't think that.
I know that older females love it to, I have to go to school with them and hear about how perfect Eddy boy is day in and out. It's driving me nuts!
"The plot isn't vacationing in Iceland. And the dialogue didn't kill itself." Ha ha, yeah I might of gone to far with that.
But what I mean is that the plot didn't build up. For example, in Harry Potter the first, we gets hints all the way through about what's happening. Theirs a huge mystery about what the mysterious object that Hagrid got out of the vaults was, and Quirrel tries to kill harry the whole way through the book – not just at the end.
With Twilight we don't really hear about James till the baseball scene. I would of loved it if we could see that slowly build up through the book. Do you get me?
And as for the dialog, I really don't like the cheesy lines. Really, really don't. I mean come on, " Do I dazzle you?" What the hell? How is that romantic and cute? To me that just made him seem vain... Gah!
Anyways, ignore my bitterness. I'm sure it'll pass and leave a general cynicism towards the world.
I'm not saying loving a book is a crime – if I did that I'd have to shoot myself. It's great that Twilight is getting young girls to read. It's just the content of it the I find disturbing. Maybe I'm reading between the lines to much.
Thank you heaps for reviewing, by the way, I found that special book in Harry Potter. I guess half my anger towards twilight is people always comparing it to my Harry.
Spark Nickelson 2009-04-03 . chapter 1
I don't understand how edward is abusive.
You have reviewed chapter 1 – I'm assuming you havn't read chapter 2 yet? If this is so, go ahead and read it and you'll find out exactly why I think he is.
If you have then, I understand that you won't change your opinion. It would be wrong of me to force you to. So that's ok – Don't Worry, Be Happy.
Thank you for taking to read chapter 1 at least and review,
Salai Spark 2009-04-03 . chapter 1
Now THATS venting. im impressed, but i still love twilight.
*Luaghs* Thank you.
I promise I won 't force you to change – I just want people to see both sides of the argument...
Cee_jay131 2009-04-01 . chapter 1
OMG what a terrible story. I HATE IT! Absolutely HATE it. How could you write that. Its not true and the reason that Twilight is such a good book and is on the top of the best seller list, is because it has an awesome story line and OH that is terrible. YOU SUCK!
Technically, it's not a story :)
I understand If you don't like my opinion – your far far far from the first. I'm not saying your opinion is wrong and that if you do like twilight your a complete idiot. Please hold the same respect for me as I do for you.
I could write it because I do hate Twilight. And why not write it?
Just letting you know that Harry Potter has sold over 400 million copies. How much has Twilight sold? 42 million copies. It's very very very far from top of the bestseller list. Very far.
Mortal plus immortal fall in love is not a storyline. It's been done, done again and done some more.
Yes I do suck. And blow.
^^ I need to stop insulting myself, but its just so much fun!
Anywho, Thanks for reviewing. I hope my answers have cleared some stuff up for you.
Cortni 2009-04-01 . chapter 2
I think I'm in love with you, author. Bravo on this.
Oh why thank you! Wow. Thanks. I'm all blushing now.
Thank you very much for reviewing,