I lay still on my twin size bed in the same spot I've been frozen in for the past eight hours staring at an imperfection on my wall but not really seeing anything. The tiny chip in the paint probably isn't even noticeable to anyone else but I can see it clearly along with every other grain and crevice on the wall. Sleep doesn't find me anymore but I still go through the motions, I'm not really sure why, maybe its just some kind of form of comfort. I usually take that time to think, to question things, or remember back to a time when things were easy - normal - but not last night, last night I spent my time thinking about what today held for me, I was starting a new school, Forks High to be exact. I moved back to Forks to live with my dad Charlie only 24 hrs ago and I could already feel the walls of my childhood home slowly closing in on me.
The shrieking of my alarm clock that was only for appearances sake of coarse interrupted my train of thought. It was 6:30 am I had enough time to shower and get dressed, pretend to have a bite to eat for breakfast for Charlie's benefit, and then get to school with just enough time to get my schedule for my Senior year. This plan hopefully left me with the least amount of contact with people as possible. It wasn't that I had a problem being around people, it actually came quite easy to me after I woke up a little over a month ago, easy enough that when I finally found my way home I was able to live under the same roof as my mother and her husband Phil.
From the little I learned about this life from him before I was changed I knew that wasn't normal - Go figure I wasn't your average normal teenage girl before and now in this new way of life you could say I still didn't fit the mold. But it was something I had to figure out on my own because I was alone, I was alone when I woke up, I was alone to fend for myself, like I'm alone now and will probably be for as long as I exist on this earth…..because of him who I promised myself I would not allow myself to think of, which I was completely failing miserably with at the moment, I was damned to have a lonely existence as a Vampire.
I was sitting on my black leather couch with my head laid back listening to Debussy flow throughout my room thoroughly enjoying my last few minutes of peace before we started another mundane year of high school. In less than an hour my mind would be filled with the ramblings of hormonal teenagers and it was definitely not something I was looking forward to. I already felt a dull ache in my head just thinking about it. A frenzied tapping on my door broke me out of my serene state and I dug into the mind of my intruder out in the hallway to see who I owed the interruption to and I was greeted with another terrible rendition of a Britney Spears song. I dropped my head into my hands and let out an irritated but muffled groan.
"What do you want, Alice?" My spiky haired pixie of a sister had been blocking her thoughts from me for weeks and it was beyond frustrating not only because she was keeping me in the dark about something but because she chose to do it with one horrible pop song after another, if I had to hear the Marcaraina one more time I was going to gauge my eyes out.
The door flew open and Alice bounded into the room.
"Come on Edward we're going to be late, you can sulk later!" She was actually hopping from one foot to the other in excitement as Jasper rounded the corner. I cocked my eyebrow to him and he shook his head, "I don't know what's gotten into her she's bursting at the seams with excitement and if you don't come on I'm going to start jumping up and down clapping, so lets go already."
I begrudgingly got up to turn off my stereo smirking at the bizarre image in my mind of an excited Jasper doing a happy dance and unwillingly left the safe haven of my home to start our Senior year of high school for the umpteenth time. At least I was driving my Volvo to school alone today, with Emmett and Rosalie not flying in from their summer abroad until noon and having to miss their first day of school, I thought I'd let Alice and Jasper have some quality time together. I had to admit it wasn't completely selfless on my part though even though I've come to terms with the fact that I was destined to be alone the relationships in my house made me uneasy at times. It was more than often that I found myself running from my house to escape the love and lust that flowed freely from them. I had given up on finding my love, my mate, a long time ago and I didn't think I deserved anyone anyway, I was a monster and I was meant to be alone.