April Fools: The Cullen Way
Summary: It's April Fools! What does our favorite vampire family have in store for each other? Find out!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these amazingly wonderful characters. *sighs*
A/N: Set sometime after Breaking Dawn. May contain spoilers for those of you who haven't read the book yet! This might be a teeny bit OOC. I'm not sure.
APRIL FOOLS!!! One of the best times of the year where I can prank people uncontrollably and not get in trouble! Well, I would probably get in trouble most of the time but who cares! I prank them, they get mad, I take a picture, they get mad, I laugh, they get mad and I run off laughing.
"Emmett! You've been replaying that same hockey game for over twenty times!" Esme yelled at me from her room upstairs. "Would you please choose some other show to watch or do something else?"
I tried pressing the off button but I realized there was no remote in my hands. I checked the couch, the table and the floor. It was no where to be found. I dropped to the floor and checked under the couch. Nothing. I searched some more at each corner of the living room and I found nothing.
"Any of you know where the remote is?" I asked the entire family, hoping they'd hear me.
"Are you sure you are not holding it?"
"Just get up and press the power button on the TV, Emmett!"
I slumped on the love seat and felt something hard on my butt. I jumped back to my feet and rubbed my butt, when I had laid my hand on something hard and rectangular. I pulled it out of my back pocket and there it was. The remote. I had remembered I placed it in there when I was… oh yeah! I was trying to paint Rosalie's car gold! But then she caught me and demanded for me to undo my work.
Alice had suddenly emerged from the kitchen with Jasper on her side. "Emmett! We're going hunting. Do you want to come? I heard grizzly bears were—"
I cut her off hearing the words grizzly and bears. "Count me in! I feel like wrestling a grizzly today."
"Bella, Edward, Carlisle, Renesmee and Jacob just came back from hunting in the mountains. We'll leave as soon as Esme and Rosalie are done with their works." Alice explained, as I put my sneakers on. That's weird. I felt something squishy and mushy in there. But then I had ignored it. It was probably just mud. I'll have to clean that later.
~~~(A/N: I'm skipping the hunting part. Sorry!)~~~~
Yum! Lunch was very, very mouth-watering. We had arrived back home in no time and everyone was crowded around Edward playing some piano piece.
"Hello Emmett." Jacob greeted me with a grin.
"Uhm, hello Jacob." I replied nervously. He's up to no good I can tell you that. "So, where's Carlisle?"
"He had to run to the hospital. They had an emergency." Nessie replied, not taking her eyes off her father's fingers, gliding along the piano keys.
Suddenly, my cell phone had rang, Edward stopped playing and they all turned to me. It seemed odd that someone would call my cell phone when everyone was here. Carlisle would surely call the home phone and not just mine. If the werewolves needed us, Jacob would have known and told us instead. I have zero number of human friends, and my vampire friends, Alice would have seen them coming instead.
"Hello?" I answered the phone anxiously.
"Hi! Is this Barry Shmelly?" The man on the other end asked.
"Uhm yes. Who is this?"
"This is Mike Stanley. (A/N: Haha! Hannah Montana!) I'm interested in buying your Jeep Wrangler?" I stood there frozen. Ha. Frozen. I already am! Anyway, I stood there completely blanked. Why was this man interested in buying my Jeep? How did he get my number? How did he know my name? And most importantly, why would I want to sell my baby?
"I'm sorry, but I think you're mistaken. I'm not selling my car. Goodbye." Then I hung up.
I opened my mouth to say something to my family when my phone rang again. "Hello?" I said with a hint of impatience.
"Hi! This is Ivana Tinkle. I just wanted to inquire if your Jeep is still available? I would really love to give it to my husband for his birthday next weekend."
"Sorry ma'am but I'm not selling my car. Have a nice day." I snapped my phone quickly, almost breaking it.
I growled angrily, and then my phone rang again.
"HELLO!?!" I screamed at the mouth piece.
"Uhm. Hello. I just saw the flier for your Jeep Wrangler and I'm…"
"I AM NOT SELLING MY CAR! STOP CALLING ME! HAVE A NICE DAY!" At this point, I was pissed, that I threw my phone on the floor and started jumping on it until it broke into a million pieces. Then everyone started laughing uncontrollably.
"WHAT IS SO FUNNY ABOUT THIS!?!" I screamed angrily.
"Want a Jeep Wrangler? Call Barry Shmelly at 1-234-567-8910." Alice replied, handing me a flyer.
I started wide-eyed at it for an eternity. It had said that I wanted to sell my car fast that I would be willing to take a hundred bucks for it!
"WHY!?!" I roared.
"APRIL FOOLS!" Everyone then yelled in unison.
"You guys, suck!" I replied. "Why would I want to sell my car!?! Are you kidding me? And for a hundred bucks!?! I'm not that cheap!"
"It was funny though." Rosalie said. "And the look on your face? It would be priceless on YouTube." And then I saw at the corner of my eyes, the camcorder on the stairs, pointed right at me. "Imagine Emmett, one million views, the fame and the fortune."
"Shut up! I'm going upstairs."
I walked up stairs, hoping that I would snatch the camcorder and burn the tape, but then Edward was faster. He had caught on and took the camcorder. Oh yeah, mind reading freak. I forgot.
I sat on the foot of the bed and decided to take my shoes off. But they didn't come out. I tried again, but nothing. I ran downstairs and everyone looked at me like I was crazy.
"Guys, I can't take of my shoes." I said as serious as I can be. But then they all laughed again.
"You're shoes are stuck Uncle Emmett!" Nessie laughed.
"What do you mean?"
"I super glued it! I squeezed twenty five tubes of super glue in each shoe! April Fools!"
"Two pranks in a row!?! That's just sick! I'm going to Carlisle. He might be able to help." I ran to the door and outside.
"Wait Emmett!" I heard Rosalie call but then I didn't want to stop and turn around. I needed to get this shoe out as soon as possible.
When I got to the hospital, I ran to Carlisle's office. I opened the door and saw him sitting on his desk.
"Emmett? What are you doing here? Is something wrong?" He asked worriedly.
"Yes. My niece super glued my foot to my shoe so I'm stuck."
He stared at me, and then laughed. "Nessie? Did that? I have to buy her a new bike then!
"Carlisle! Would you please just help me?" I whined like a baby.
The door busted open and my family were all here.
"Emmett! Why did you have to run here?" Edward asked, bewildered.
"I needed to get my foot out of this shoe!"
"Emmett, honey, all you needed to do was take your socks off." Esme explained, calmly.
"ARE YOU EFFIN' KIDDING ME!?!"
"No, I'm not effin' kidding you." Esme replied.
"This is just great. Two pranks in a row. There better not be a third one!" I warned stomping towards the back door. I pulled the door open but it wouldn't budge. I kept trying and trying, to the point that I wanted to just bust the door open with my hands.
I wondered what was wrong because the sign said to PULL. And then everyone started laughing again.
"What now?" I asked.
"Yes. Carlisle placed the sign there. There wasn't even any. We just wanted to mess with your head." Jasper explained.
I groaned and pushed the door open. I stepped out, turning around again, "YOU will be sorry." I warned before leaving.
It must have all been in Alice's vision. That stupid evil pixie. I'll get them next time. And when I do, they'll be sorry for messing with me. Three times. I walked to the house, with an evil smirk on my face.
Ok so, this may have sucked a lot and I apologize.
Have you figured out what the names I used really meant? lol... I don't own them btw, some other person does.
Need more prank ideas people! Please???