A/N: I took my reviewers advise and wrote another drabble/ song fic. Sorry it took so long, but these take me a while for some reason. I'm trying really hard for the stories not to be too repetitive. Tell me if the last one is too confusing. It based it on the current storyline of the show so... I hope that helps. If this one is good as well, I will keep writing more.
Disclaimer: I don't own GG or Blair would realize that the only person Nate has sparks with is his hair stylist
I'm not the only one
I'm not the only one
My favorite inside source
I'll kiss your open sores
Appreciate your concern
He didn't want to ignore her tears, but he had to. It killed him to look away from her, but there was no other option. It killed him that it was killing her. And he wanted to kill whoever was doing this to her. But he knew who it was and he couldn't do anything. He couldn't very well kill Blair Waldorf's husband.
"Are you okay?" Chuck raised his eyes to meet the gorgeous onyx ones that studied him steadily, questioning him.
It saddened him that Blair had to always pretend that everything was alright. She had to have realized by now that she couldn't hide from him. He knew everything. He could see that she was struggling. He didn't want her to pretend that she couldn't be real with him. She was the most real when she was with him. He knew that would never change.
"Me?" he asked quietly in the dark room. The party was long over and her husband was long gone. No doubt seeing how many other women he could bang before the wife noticed. Surprise, surprise: she already did.
The fire was still burning strong. He wondered what had made her venture into this room to begin with. She should have known it could only add to the drama of her marriage. Affairs weren't really a basis for an open relationship. Not that Chuck would have cared. He just wanted to protect her from all the things that meant her harm. He just wanted to be with her.
Blair took a seat next to him in front of the fire. He hadn't thought that she would find him here. And if she did, that she wouldn't actually come to talk to him. He had made his feelings perfectly clear to her. He wasn't sure why she was so apprehensive of him when her own husband committed adultery on a daily basis.
He knew that wasn't the reason, though. She couldn't stand her husband. She couldn't care less what he did in his free time. Chuck knew what she was afraid of. She was afraid of ruining them.
But Chuck was tired of "waiting for the future." The promise he made in high school seemed so far away now. The future was here and he wasn't with her. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't be without her. To the public, he was still the boozing playboy. But really, she was it for him. She knew it, too.
"Drinking alone in a dark room," Blair mused. "Not really the healthiest of activities."
"For normal people," Chuck shrugged.
"And what are you?" Blair laughed. Chuck scrutinized her.
"Stop," he said softly. Her smile slowly faded.
"Stop what?" she tried to ask cheerfully. Chuck shook his head disbelievingly at her.
"Just... stop," he whispered. "Stop pretending you're okay when you're not."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Blair looked away. She couldn't look him in the eyes. Chuck sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He wished she would just talk to him. They sat in silence for many long moments.
"I used to know you so well," Chuck muttered. This caused Blair's attention to flick back to his face. "I knew you better than myself, which wasn't that hard since I was so lost. Now it seems that our roles switched." He could tell that her gaze had left his face. She didn't like it when he saw through the mask. It made her feel vulnerable. But it could also make her feel loved, if she let it.
"What are you doing here, Blair?" he asked quietly, staring at the orange flames dancing in front of his eyes.
"I'm here because..." she paused. "You're right. I don't want you to know me. But I suppose that's the reality."
"Why do you want to be closed off from me?" he gazed deep into her eyes in a way he knew made her uncomfortable.
"You're not my husband," she said softly.
"He doesn't want you talking to me?" Chuck asked incredulously.
"I don't want me talking to you," she said sadly. "You'll break my resolve. You always see right through me. It's dangerous."
"Do you ever think that maybe danger is the way to go?" he edged closer to her.
"That's what I'm afraid of," she admitted. "This is what I'm afriad of." She nodded towards his sudden close proximity. He had barely noticed. When he was with her, everything was easy, like breathing. She was a way of life. It was that simple. And you can't live without breathing. Chuck Bass couldn't survive without her.
"I don't like what he does to you," he uttered in his seductively velvet voice. Blair refused to meet his gaze as he laid his hand across her clavicle. She couldn't bend to temptation again.
"Don't," she whispered. "Don't make me fall in love with you again." She expected Chuck to recoil. When he didn't, she had no choice but to look up at him.
"I never stopped," he husked in her ear. Blair closed her eyes so he wouldn't see the effect his mere voice had on her.
"That wasn't what I said," she said, her eyes still closed.
"It was what I said," he stated. "You don't have to hide," he said into the shell of her ear. "You don't have to hide from me. I see you."
"I don't know if that's such a good thing."
"I can't turn away now," Chuck said soberly. "Not now, not ever. I can't turn away when I know you're unhappy."
"What can you do to change any of that?" she asked, brokenly. She wasn't asking for the three words, eight letters this time. She already knew the answer to that. Chuck didn't know what she was asking. Just for help, maybe.
"I don't like him hurting you," Chuck whispered as though it were a secret.
"I don't see what you can do about it," Blair stared straight ahead, trying to keep a cool head. That was near impossible when she was in front of a fire and the man that made her blood burn was touching her.
"I can take care of you." He laid a slight and innocent kiss where his finger tips had been. "Tell me I can't help you. Tell me I don't know how to make you better."
"I can't." Chuck let his simple kiss progress up the curve of her neck to her temple. She let him. She knew she couldn't stop anything now. Not when they were inevitable.
I'm Slowly Turning Into You
The White Stripes
It made everything clearer
That you're more beautiful compelling and stronger
It didn't take much longer
Just for me to realize I love all the little things
And the beauty that they're gonna bring
I dig your little laugh and I'm lovin' your quick wit
I even love it when you're faking it
Everyone knew Chuck Bass. Everyone knew the drinking and the scheming. Most of all they knew about the women. They knew about the drugs and the prostitutes. Chuck Bass was unique and no one could ever be like him.
The number one rule of being Chuck Bass was something everyone knew by heart: only sleep with a woman once. It was decreed by law that Chuck, the resident bad boy of the Upper East Side, never slept with the same woman more than once. But then again, he had never fallen in love before, either.
Chuck never liked the word "love." It made him feel chained and shackled. Dear Old Dad taught him that life lesson. But he loved his friend Nathaniel. He loved the game of manipulation. And despite Bad Bart's protests, he did in fact love his father. Chuck knew love was just a road of hard ship and heart break that was in the end, not even worth it. That's what he was taught. That's what he was told. That's what he thought. That's what he knew. But she was something else all together. She was the exception. She was exceptional. Maybe love wasn't worth it, but she made Chuck want it to be.
What? you ask me. I'm not sure at first. You told me that this nauseous feeling that I've been having for the past two weeks are "butterflies." You make them sound harmless when I really know they will be the undoing of both of us. I know you feel it too, though you ignore me when we're in public.
That's understandible. I know your ex boyfriend and my current best friend would not be too pleased, though he thinks that he doesn't want you. I know Dear Nathaniel is just confused. He's always confused. About his future, about his place in life, about you. I know that after he clears his head he'll just want you back. And I'm going to do everything in power to stop that from happening
I know why I'm looking at you that way, now. But I can't tell you that. I can't tell you that I am irrevocably in love with you. In all honesty, it's sort of inconvenient for me. My reputation will be compromised. I will have to reject the women that throw themselves at me because when I look at them, all I see is you. It's been that way for a while, I'm just so arrogant and stubborn that I couldn't see it until now. Sort of like you. No. Exactly like you. I wonder if you see it too. I wonder if you see how we're exactly the same.
You laugh and I know I have to add something else to the things that I love. I've used that word in my head the past two weeks than I have before in my entire life. Yes. You make my life incredibly inconvenient. I should hate you. I do hate you. But I love you. I love you and I just can't stop.
I just like looking at you, I say instead. I can't clue you in to the war that is brewing inside my very heart. I want to be loyal. But I want you. I can't reconcile these two. I've loved Nathaniel my entire life. I've loved you for the past two weeks and already it's starting to surpass the other. That's not right at all. Maybe I should care, but I don't.
But that's me. I'm Chuck Bass. I'm arrogant, self centered, and malevolent. Like you. We have no conscience and that's okay. Because I've learned more in this time with you than I have when I actually bother to show up for class. I've learned that I might actually be worth it. You make me want to be better. You make me want to be capable of love. You make me capable of love.
That's very sensitive, Bass, you roll your eyes. I know you think that I'm an egotistical shallow jerk. I also know that you don't care. The secret is that we both found out that we actually like each other's company. We don't have to hide with each other. I can be as sweet and sensitive as I want. You can be as caring and gentle as you want. No one would know this, but when we're with each other, we're actually people. We're actually kind. We would die if anyone found out that we actually had souls.
I live to please, I smirk at you. You spare me another eye roll which I love. You pretend that I don't please you but we both know that's just a facade. We can't let go of each other know because we just get each other. Letting go of that would mean succumbing to the elements and letting go our ability to survive. We are essential to each other's survival. We just won't admit it yet. Even if somehow Fate separates each other for a short time, we will just find our way back to each other. It's the way it's supposed to be.
How do you do that? you ask me finally.
Make me feel like I don't have to change, you whisper.
Because you don't, I husk back at you (in a voice I know makes your knees weak.) You're perfect just the way you are.
I believe you.
Why shouldn't you?
I don't know, you say thoughfully. But I know. You've been rejected all your life you have to have some sort of defense mechanism. Like me. We're the same and I'm glad that I've finally figured it out. I don't feel lost anymore. It's a good feeling.
I do it to, you know, I confide in you.
What? you ask back.
Make me want to be better, I finally admit my thoughts.
You are better. No one sees that in you... but I do. I know it's hard for you to be vulnerable, fearing rejection the way we do. I'm afraid too. But you makes me braver. I want to tell you that. I guess we can settle for the ways our bodies seem to interlock so perfectly, like we were made for each other. I think of Fate and soul mates now when I've never even given it a second thought of it before. You're changing me. But I know it's for the better. There's no one like you in the world. I know no one but you could ever dream of keeping up with me. I know you feel the same about me. You make the harsh reality of the real world vanish in a whisp of smoke. You tell me I'm better, that I'm worth it... and I believe you.
If You Could Only See
If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand
Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me
"You can't be here," he says. Chuck looks up into Nate's crystal eyes and knows that he doesn't understand. All Nate knows is infatuation and desperate desire. He doesn't know the things that Chuck has felt. He doesn't know the pure emotion of uncorruptable love that he feels every day. He just can never understand.
"You know he'll kick you out if he see you here," Nate warns.
"Then she'll know that I still care," Chuck smirks in triumph.
"That's madness," Nate declares. Chuck doesn't care. She has to know. He knows that it's probably too late but he also knows that he will never give up. If she kicks him out today, he'll show up with peonies tomorrow. If she throws him from her house tomorrow, he'll show up with Tiffany's the next day. He will buy her the world. He will never give up.
"You think she'll be happy that you ruined her party?" Nate demands.
"It's his," Chuck retorts. "And I know how she thinks. She'll get the gesture." Nate just shakes his head. Chuck narrows his eyes venomously at his best friend.
"Why are you being so protective of her anyway? Old habits die hard?" Chuck smirks.
"Hey, I am trying to protect you," Nate defends.
"How touching. You care about me," Chuck rolls his eyes.
"Just leave Chuck," Nate advises. "Hasn't it been enough? Aren't you ever going to give up?" Chuck puts down his drink and stares up into the azure depths of Nate's eyes.
"I will never give up," Chuck declares with conviction. He turns on his heel weaves through the crowd of the room. He hears the crucifying whispers that follow him everywhere, but he doens't care. He only has eyes for her.
Chuck doesn't see her eyes catch sight of him in the middle of the room. He doesn't see her brown eyes widen in surprise and maybe even a little bit of heartbreak. He doesn't see her pull away from him and track him to the deserted hallway. He does, however, feel her push him into a dark closet.
"What are you doing, Bass?" Blair demands.
"I knew it wouldn't be long until you pushed me into another closet," Chuck says confidently. Her grip on the collar of his jacket relaxes and she pulls away slightly.
"You can't be here," she tells him quietly.
"I can if I want to." He doesn't really have a better retort. Her proximity is too jarring. It's been too long.
"Do you know what he'll do if he finds you here?" she asks in exasperation.
"He'll finally realize that you aren't his. Never were and never will be."
"I wasn't aware I was anyone's property," she spits with poison. He smirks into the dark. He loves that he can still get a reaction like that from her. It just proves his theory that they can never let each other go.
"I didn't say you were." He lets his husky voice reach that low seductive level that he knows works so well on her. "But I will always be yours... And you will always be mine." She isn't really sure how she feels about that statement. It gives her a strange surge of... something to hear that Chuck Bass is binding her to him. But he wouldn't be Chuck Bass if he doesn't finish that statement by binding her to him as well.
"What will it take to get you to leave?" she asks quietly. He knows that she doesn't want him gone. Not really. She wants to protect him. Like Nathaniel. Well, not quite like Nathaniel. Nathaniel cares, but Blair just wants to take care of him. Always has, always will.
"A kiss," he says simply. She hesitates.
"That's it?" she asks incredulously.
"If you're in a negotiating mood..." She can feel his lecherous smile burn her through and through.
"Just a kiss... and then you'll leave?" she asks hopefully.
"For tonight," he admits. She doesn't know how she feels about that either. He's fighting for her. Like she had wished he had done all those years ago. In normal circumstances, she would reject him. She would tell him that it was too late. But she had done that before, and it hadn't really taken. So she accepts him. Now she finds that she wants him to fight for her. Times change, but people like them are always as manipulative and conniving as they've always been. They are the only ones who can understand that. Who can understand each other.
"After this, you have to leave," she warns him.
"For tonight," he repeats. He likes when he can feel the heat of her body against his again. He felt cold without it. He feels her shaky breath on his neck. Yes, it has been so long. He ducks his head so she can find him in the dark. She seemed hesitant before, but now she is definitely not. She presses her body carefully to his. He lets her pull at his lips with her own. He wants to ravage her right there, but he doesn't want to ruin the moment. He doesn't even twist his tongue with hers like he usually would have done. But he tastes her. He tastes the drug that he could never kick. And he never will.
"I'll be back tomorrow," he promises when it is obvious the moment has passed.
"You shouldn't," she says, her husky breath, the way he likes it.
"I told you, Blair," he promises. "I'll never be done. If he wants a confrontation, that's fine. Though, it would be more convenient if this didn't have to come to blows. But it doesn't matter. I'll do anything."
"Why?" she asks.
"You already know," he supplies.
"Chuck..." she trails off.
"Yes?" He smiles.
"Don't get your face hurt too much," she says simply and steps out of the closet. He wonders if she's right and he will actually have to get in a fist fight. He had been in physical altercations over her before. This wasn't old news. He knew that she was just accepting the inevitable. She knew Chuck Bass better than anyone, and a Bass never backs down. There was a time when he told her that they were in inevitable.
"I'll do my best," he steps out after her. He knows nothing has changed since then. He knows that they will always be the same and that means that the inevitable is just them. Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck.
War is overdue
The time has come for you
To shoot your leaders down
Join forces underground
Warped and bewitched
I have never been more turned on.
I don't use those words. I don't use words like "perfection" or "beauty." I use words like "hot" and "easy." Always, always, always the exception. She doesn't even look at me. She is too caught up in her seething hatred and revenge plots. This is how I love her. This is how I fell in love with her in the first place.
It's the first time that I've seen her since college. Well, since she came back from college. I've just been running Bass Industries. She went to NYU. I was grateful. At least there was a chance that I could see her. But I hadn't for a while. She isn't the Ice Queen of Constance or even in her old college. She will rule the Upper East Side and maybe even dominate the world. She could do it. And I would be there the entire time.
She doesn't like being subservient. Who can blame her? Neither do I. That's why I rule the Upper East Side through my own ways and agendas. My company is connected through almost every conitent. In a way, I already have conquered the world and I'm only 22.
It's the perfect opportunity. She knows it too. It's not just a coincidence the first time she returns to our world, she makes the most dramatic entrance we've ever seen. It's not a coincidence that she comes out at the most prestigeous party that can be thrown that year. The most prestegious party thrown for the company that I have expanded. The company that I have inherited. The company I rule with an iron fist.
But she surprises me. That's a hard thing to do, especially with the woman who I know better than I know the contents of the scotch I am currently gripping. My queen. The plan is already set in motion. Knowing her, she'll probably reject the proposal. But it has been four years. I just don't know.
She surprises me because for once she is not worried about status or reputation. It's not like the time where she was trying to commit social suicide. When she tried to burn all the bridges from her formal self. For the first time, she is actually embracing her true self and I don't even have to convince her to do it. She's making her mark as the Queen Bitch like we all knew she was. She isn't stealthy or subtle with her words. This time, she is outright and unrepentant. This time I know it will work.
The crowd filtered through the room. There he was. He was standing there, the way he always was. Standing in his designer suit, nursing a glass of scotch. She could smell the deceit from here. She could taste the beauty.
And there it was. The one thing that made her night. His beautiful smirk. She couldn't keep one of her own from her face. The crowd seemed to part like the Red Sea for them in the middle of the dance floor. It had been four years but they fell into the comfortable embrace like no time had passed at all.
"Waldorf," he greeted as they swayed to the music.
"Bass," she returned.
"I do love watching you destroy everyone in your path," he mused evilly.
"It's a talent," she said nonchalantly. She felt comfortable in his arms again. It felt like no time had passed. But it had. Things had changed. But they were Blair and Chuck. They never changed.
"Yes," he agreed. "Taking over the Upper East Side takes a certain person."
"A certain person like Chuck Bass?" she smirked.
"So you've heard?" he asked with satisfaction. "My plan for world domination is already in effect." He loved the trill of her laughter. He loved the fact that he was the only one who ever heard it, the only one who could create it.
"I guess I'm powerless to stop it, then," she sighed.
"Well I heard that we actually had something in common," he ventured. Blair eyed him warily.
"I told you I was talented," she smirked.
"I never doubted you for a second," Chuck said sincerely. "That's what we have in common."
"Besides everything?" Blair asked snarkily. Chuck appraised her with his eyes. She may have wanted it to sound like a joke, but they both knew that it was true.
"I was just thinking how everyone would have no choice to bend to our will if you and I were partners in crime again," he hinted.
"Okay, Bass," she said sarcastically. "The day I work with you again is the day you propose to me."
"Then let's do it," Chuck said immediately. "Bass Industries could use someone like Blair Waldorf. We could do it. Being actually... together."
"You have got to be kidding me," Blair said bluntly. Chuck was surprised that she didn't pull immediately away from their embrace. He was glad that she didn't. "This is not how I thought you were ever going to propose to me." Chuck froze of a second before regaining his composure.
"You've thought of me proposing to you," he stated as a fact.
"What?" Blair exclaimed. "I have not!"
"Face it, Waldorf," Chuck shook his head. "I can read you like a book." Blair didn't respond. She just looked over his shoulder, never daring to look back into his damn ensnaring eyes. He shifted his head, forcing her to look at him again. "Come on."
"'Come on' what?" she asked.
"You know what," Chuck responded. "What do you say? Be my schemer with me. Let's shoot our leaders down." He didn't need her to answer. He was right. He read her like a book.
For Reasons Unknown
I caught my stride.
I flew and flied.
I know if destiny's kind, I've got the rest of my mind.
But my heart, it don't beat, it don't beat the way it used to.
And my eyes, they don't see you no more.
And my lips, they don't kiss, they don't kiss the way they used to, and my eyes don't recognize you no more.
For reasons unknown; for reasons unknown
~She should be exited. Really, she should. She's with the perfect person. There's spark, she knows there is. So why doesn't she feel it? Her heart didn't shudder in mere anticipation. She looked up into his big, dumb, blue eyes and didn't even feel guilt.~
Her lips were...dull underneath his. He couldn't explain it. In all reality, he hadn't even thought it would get this far. But seeing his one true love with her ex boyfriend (now current boyfriend) made him turn to the equally spurned Brooklyness. And she just wasn't up to par. Her lips weren't sweetly evil with sadism. They were just... plain and tentitive. Try as he might, he couldn't get her to be who he wanted her to be.
~His kisses didn't scorch her flesh like they should have. There would have been a time where she would have loved it if her current boyfriend wanted her as much as he did right now. But she had been corrupted by the devil himself and she never wanted to turn back. But currently, the man in red was having some fling with an inferior from Brooklyn. He had made her want heat, fire, and complete corruption of her purity. The little secret was that she was never that pure. But no one saw that from him. So the stupid soft kisses did nothing for her. She wanted her devil back.~
Her dark eyes stared back at him. They weren't the right eyes, though. They weren't full of deception or mischief. They were wide and open. They weren't what he wanted. Neither was she. He was fooling himself if he thought this little fling had anything compared to the back of a limo with a certain "virginal" queen. He never broke his promise to her. That limo would always be sacred and a certain "artist" would never grace it with her presence. He wouldn't let happed.
~This would be the last time his azure eyes looked on her with confusion. She had enough. She was tired of fooling herself. She was tired. It may have been exhausting to fight for sparks, but she had forgotten what to fight really meant. Just laying down and playing dead was not only exhausting but humiliating. At least when she was fighting for those fireworks, her equal was always along there beside her, even if he was trying to destroy himself.~
He never thought he had a heart. At least, if he did, it was deadened, blackened, and shriveled. Muffling his cries of love for someone else with meaningless sex with someone he couldn't comprehend that could ever me considered "amazing" didn't quiet his heart like he thought it would. Instead, it screamed for the only person that could ever fix this. The only one who ever even tried to fix him; to put him back together. And when he saw her again, he knew it was it. Finally, his heart soared and he saw that mischeivous smirk that he had never been able to forget.
"What are you doing here?"
"I don't know."
"Then why are you here?"
"I don't know. Do you?"
"For what, then?"
"It's a mystery."
Chuck was right. Blair couldn't for the life of her figure how she left that perfect boy in the dust.
"That's the basis of us then," Blair mused. "Isn't it?"
"What?" Chuck asked.
"We don't know how we end up here, or why, but we just do. We keep finding each other for reasons unknown. But it's right. It's..." Blair tried to find the words. "Destiny."
"Do you truly believe that?" he asked with convinction.
"Yes," Blair said instinctively. "There's never been any other way."