Yeah, it's me (ducks to avoid flying fruit). Sorry! That's about all I can say for being so long since I updated. But you know, real life and stuff.
Okay, a big thanks to Bittenev who is my awesome, super-beta. She is so amazingly supportive and helpful. I absolutely couldn't post without her. Well, maybe I could, but you wouldn't like the results.
Thanks to Twilightzoner as well for her super speed.
I still don't own these characters, seeing as how I haven't undergone an identity change. Okay, on with the smut--I mean show.
I put some light classical music on as we pulled out of the driveway to put us at ease. I felt anything but. The whole encounter with Tanya had thrown me. I recognized the jealousy for what it was even though I'd never really felt it before. It was such a violent emotion and so inappropriate that I couldn't really reconcile myself with it.
He apologized for putting me out of my way to take him home and I could feel his anxiety. I tried to ease the feeling, saying something about seeing his house and maybe hearing him play some more. Was I actually flirting with him? God, I was losing my mind. Could I get anymore inappropriate?
But this was Edward. And there was no denying that I loved him. He didn't know that. As long as I kept it to myself, I wasn't really endangering him. I knew the pain would come. There'd be plenty of time to worry about that later. Right now he was mine, if only for the next day or so. I'd make the most of it and indulge in my own fantasy that he could really be mine. When it was over I'd let myself fall apart.
I had to distract myself somehow and I could feel the tension building as Edward guided me through country roads, taking us further into the woods.
"So, what was up with Rose tonight?" I asked, wondering if he noticed her odd behavior.
"Yeah," he said, keeping his eyes on the road. "I don't know. It was weird. She was reciting Indy cup finalists in her thoughts all night along with the make and specs on their cars."
I'd forgotten for a moment that he could hear all of their thoughts. That must have made for an interesting night. I wondered for a moment what Tanya had been thinking before I pulled myself out of it, thankful that I couldn't read her mind. "Huh, really?" There was certainly something strange going on with Rose. I didn't know her really well, but even I could tell something was up. "That must be weird to be able to hear all of the thoughts of so many people. Is it like a rumble of voices in a crowd?"
"Similar I guess." His expression was hidden in the partial darkness of the car as he watched me. "It's a bit different with thoughts because they aren't always words. People think in images and sounds more often than words. But yeah, it's nice to get away from it all and just have silence. That's why I bought land so far from town."
"That makes sense." I realized that it must be a relief for him to be with me, to have company without having the noise of the other person's thoughts. I hadn't really thought much about it. It still seemed so unreal to me. But growing up with Jasper probably left me with more of an open mind about these things.
I watched him in the glow of the dash. He seemed to concentrate intently--as though he was working up the nerve for something. His brow furrowed, his beatific features drawn in sharp angular lines.
I reached over and squeezed his arm, trying to bring back our connection and the easy familiarity of the day before. "Cheer up," I said. "You'll get your car going tomorrow. Don't worry."
"Oh, I'm not worried about it. I don't understand what could have happened to it, but it'll be fine. Dad said to call tomorrow and he'd pick me up."
His fingers twitched on the seat beside me only inches from my own hand as though he wanted contact but was afraid to reach out and take it. But tonight there was no room for fear. Tonight he was mine. I closed the distance, tangling our fingers together. I wanted to pull him closer or climb into his lap. But I couldn't do any of that while driving, especially on the narrow dirt roads.
I could almost feel the heat from his blush as he stared at me. He caressed the lines of my face with the back of his fingers and just like that, the tension shifted into something else. It was difficult to concentrate on his feelings when my heart was thrumming in response to his simple touch.
Before I had a chance to do or say anything more he pointed off to the left and said, "It's right up here."
I noticed a mailbox and turned down the narrow gravel driveway that seemed to go on forever. After about a quarter mile we arrived at a house that looked like something from a fairy tale. It was a domed house with other curved sections added to the sides and back. It belonged so completely in the landscape that I was struck dumb for a moment, just absorbing what I could see of it in the darkness.
"So, thanks for the ride. I appreciate it."
I suddenly felt shy. It was ridiculous after what we'd been through the past couple of days. "No problem."
He started to open the car door and then paused as though he was going to say something more. "Would you like to--come in? Maybe have a glass of wine or some coffee." He didn't meet my eyes as he spoke.
"Sure, that would be nice."
I followed him through the door as he flicked on the lights and tossed his keys on a table by the door. The room felt very spacious with plush furnishings and a black baby grand much like the one at his parent's house in the center. A granite topped island separated the living area from the kitchen which sported maple cabinets and a small table.
"Wow, what a great place you have here."
He pulled some glasses from the cabinet over the sink. "Thanks. Would you like a glass of wine?"
"Sure." I sat on a stool at the island and watched him pour us a glass of red wine and hand it to me. I rolled it around my mouth as I watched him repeat the process for himself. The wine was a nice fruity taste, but not sweet. "Mmmm... That's good."
"Yeah," he said, sitting across from me. "It's one of my favorites."
The wine warmed my belly and started to relax me. I'd have to be careful not to drink too much of that before driving home. Home--just the idea of it left me feeling cold and alone. I'd lived alone for years and had never worried about it before. I was happy alone. Really!
"So, what did you think of the family?" His smooth voice pulled me back from my rambling thoughts.
"Well, Esme is amazing of course," I said, thinking back to the wonderful house she decorated and furnished and then moving on to thoughts of Emmett, Alice and Edward--the amazing family that she raised. "She's everything a mother should be." And everything Rene hadn't been. "And your father is wonderful too." I could understand Carlisle better. He was more like my own father. "Emmett is, well, Emmett. He's fun and fiercely loyal. You are lucky to have a brother like him." I would have loved to have a brother and Emmett would be exactly the one I'd choose. "And Alice is--completely off her nut."
He laughed, choking on the wine before he caught his breath again. "You really get Alice--completely."
I chuckled. I did feel a strange kinship with the little sprite--aside from the shopping. She cared about her family and pushed them to be happy in their lives, even if that isn't convenient for her. "Yeah, I feel like I've known her forever. Isn't that strange?" I felt the same comfort with Edward--as though we'd known each other forever--or at least far longer than a few days.
"No, not really," he said, looking far away. "Sometimes you just have to go with whatever happens. Alice is a big believer that everything happens for a reason. Maybe your friendship was predetermined."
I tried to read him, but found I couldn't. And that thought made panic sweep over me. Was I getting in the way with my own emotions? This wasn't supposed to happen. Agh!
"So," I said, desperate to change the subject before he brought up something I couldn't live with discussing. "How about that concert? Will you play something else for me?"
He smiled and stood, reaching for my hand. I took my wine and followed him over to the piano. His fingers ghosted over the keys in a couple of scales before he shook his hands out and started to play. He started with Claire de Lune, playing it so beautiful and haunting I could hardly stand it. Then he moved into the same song that I heard him play earlier--that song I couldn't identify that was so filled with emotion. I couldn't just sit here and listen. I wouldn't make it through it this time. My emotions were too close to the surface.
The music swirled around me, pulling me closer until it felt like he was playing the feelings in my heart. It felt like a loop--the music pouring out of me into him, then repeating the circuit. It was like giant arms, circling around me and pulling me closer. And when his lips met mine it felt as though my last barrier had fallen. I felt the energy flowing freely between us--as though I was filling him up with my soul. It felt like seconds, or hours or days. We were both completely open for that one moment and we filled each other up with something we were both missing. I felt like a character in a romance novel--after a few days--it was ridiculous and perfect all at the same time.
Still, I had to end the moment before I got lost completely, so I reluctantly pulled out Dr. Swan.
But I promised myself I'd let that happen again tonight. I might not be able to tell him how I felt, but I would do my best to make sure that he has no doubt about my complete adoration--of my love for him. Tonight some part of him would know.
He groaned and pulled back as I forced myself to speak. "I know this is probably annoying, but I think we need to talk for a minute." My face heated with the words. What could I say? I'm going to take advantage of you. I hope you don't mind. But I can't just do that without saying anything.
"Okay," he said, his voice cracking slightly. He looked nervous.
I was puzzled for a moment until I realized that he might have taken what I said wrong. "No, it's nothing bad, really." I squeezed his arm in reassurance. "I think we've gotten through most of your blocks if not all of them."
"Yeah," he said, his voice surprised. "I don't feel any anxiety at all."
"Exactly. So, what I'm saying is that I'm happy to take this further, but I don't want you to feel that you have to do that to complete your therapy. If you wanted to save that last intimacy--for someone special--" A picture of Tanya flashed through my mind and I bit back tears at the thought. He would no doubt find someone who would look absolutely perfect with him, whether it was her or someone else. That's what I was here for--to prepare him to have a full life with someone else. Only that thought made me feel like a truck was parked on my chest. God I was becoming some sappy romantic. How would I ever survive in this profession?
"Oh," he said, looking at his hands, "so then our therapy would be complete?"
I wanted to see his face, to know what he was feeling, but he denied me eye contact, just staring at his fingers as the blush crept down his neck. I didn't want his therapy to be complete. I needed him. I needed to have this one night with him--with no barriers. To show him how I felt. And to have this one memory to keep forever. But this wasn't about me. I had to do the right thing and offer him the out. "Yes. That's what I'm saying."
He sat unmoving, the blush only getting deeper.
Waves of sadness washed over me and I didn't know if they were mine or his. I had to do something. "I'm not trying to reject you. It isn't that I don't want to make love with you. And I know this is probably embarrassing to talk about, but I don't want you to feel like you should give the gift of your virginity to me in therapy if you want to save that for someone else." I reached out and squeezed his arm. "I don't want you to feel forced into something you don't want in order to finish the therapy and satisfy your family. This is about you."
He finally met my eyes and my heart squeezed and sped at the same time. Tears glistened in his beautiful eyes and just made me want to hurt myself for making this amazing man sad. But there was something else there--something feral that made my heart pound. I swallowed the knot in my throat while I waited for his response.
I felt the music flow through my fingers, charging the air around us. It was as though it was pulling us together and before I knew what was happening we were kissing and it felt so different than before. As though I was suddenly kissing Bella rather than Dr. Swan. My whole body responded--blood hammering through my veins, with a passion I'd never experienced before. It was as though we completed each other in that one moment--as if she felt some of the love that I'd been fighting all this time.
When she pulled away, the force of the rejection rushed in, crushing me. But the feeling eased as she explained that she was only concerned that I'd regret making love with her--as if that was possible. The truth was that I was hers completely, for as long as she wanted me. There was no use fighting it.
"I want to try--with you," my voice was low and rough to my own ears. I felt like a bumbling fool in the presence of a princess. I stared at my fingers as I waited for her to break the silence.
"Edward," she said, her voice breathy.
When I didn't answer I felt her warm hand on my cheek, pulling my gaze up to hers. I was afraid to meet her gaze--sure she'd see my heart reflected in my eyes. But her gaze was companionate and understanding--as though she could feel some of the complexity of emotions that I was going through. After a moment she continued, her voice caressing me as surely as her hands were. "I would be honored to be your first." She leaned in and brushed her lips softly against mine, sending little sparks darting straight to my chest.
I whispered her name against her lips like a sacred chant. I couldn't believe this was really going to happen. I deepened the kiss until we broke away breathless. And I could see it in her eyes. Whether it was real or wishful thinking, I could see some measure of the love I felt for her. Tonight I really would be making love with her, if only in my mind.
"Let's take our drinks over to the couch, yeah? I asked.
She stood and led the way over to the couch the fabric of her dress swirling across her hips. My fingers itched to reach out and feel the curve of her waist.
I turned on my ipod and picked a playlist of soft music. I brought the bottle of wine with us and refilled our glasses. Raising my glass in a toast, I and was stymied for a moment. I couldn't say what I really felt and was considering an appropriate toast when she took over.
"To healing," she said and I had a feeling she meant something more than just my therapy. But I couldn't be sure.
"So," Bella said as she swallowed. "I thought we could spend the day together tomorrow--to complete our therapy, you know." She glanced down at her glass and watched her hands fidget with the stem of the wine glass. "I mean--if you're free that is--though I guess you have to get your car working and stuff. We can do it another time if you want. I just thought..."
Babbling Bella was too cute. I stopped her before she could get herself worked up. "It's okay. That's fine. I'll just call my dad and let him know I won't be able to do it until Monday. He won't care."
She smiled and took another long drink. She let the wine fill her mouth for a minute before swallowing and the action was so sensual I found myself leaning closer. She opened her eyes and noticed the way I was leaning and reciprocated. When her mouth was only inches from mine she spoke. "We could start tomorrow a little early, if you want."
Did I want? There was nothing I wanted more. "Mmmmmm..." I hummed, closing the distance to touch her soft lips. The spark of electricity that followed should be something I was expecting by now, but it still took me by surprise--every time. I didn't move, just sat there and experienced the contact. The electric charge surged through my body all the way to my fingertips.
After a moment she pulled back and smiled. And her smile just pulled me deeper. God she was beautiful.
"So," she said, raising her glass to touch mine again, "to new experiences."
I'd drink to that. I tipped my glass back and finished it off. My stomach was starting to feel warm from the alcohol and I relaxed back into the couch, just enjoying being with her, here in my place. She looked perfect sitting there on my couch, like she belonged.
"So, Edward," she called me out of my thoughts, "tell me a fantasy you've had."
My face immediately burned hot even before I fully registered her question. "What?"
"Tell me one of your fantasies. Have you fantasized about having me here?"
God, could I answer that? I mean, yeah of course I'd fantasized about having her here--on every surface in every way imaginable. But I couldn't say that. She couldn't know how much I truly felt for her or she'd withdraw. I was sure of it. "Uh--I--uh--"
She squeezed my knee in reassurance, or to stop my babbling, I wasn't sure which. "Don't be shy with me. There's nothing you can't say to me."
"I know," I said and I did. I did know that she wouldn't balk at anything I suggested, physically. What would she say if I just said it? Bella, I love you. Four simple words really. But I couldn't do it. I didn't want to lose what I had with her because she couldn't give me what I wanted. I was going to take what I could and keep it with me--lock it up into my heart. So what could I say?
"Really, I want to know you better. I want to know what you like. I want to make this perfect for you..." She seemed at a loss in the same way that I had.
Being with her is what would make it perfect. Nothing else was necessary. "Everything is perfect with you. It's all be so much more than I expected... I just don't know..."
"Okay, maybe if I give a bit, you'll feel more comfortable?"
I nodded, dying to know what she would say.
"Earlier when you were playing the piano, all I could think about was the way you looked, how in touch with the music you were and I wanted to get in there. I wanted to kiss you and lick every inch of your body. I wanted to take you in my mouth while you played and hear the passion pour out of you through the music."
I stared at her, my jaw slack.
"So, I told you mine. I want to hear one of yours." She took another sip of wine and looked away, giving me the privacy to pull myself together.
"Um--I'd um--well--I'd like to spread you out over my piano and taste you in that dress. Um--yeah--that would be--yeah." My face was on fire and I was afraid to look at her.
Heat shot straight to my sex. God, could he get any more perfect? I ask him about his fantasies and he fantasizes about pleasuring me. I just looked at him for a minute, his face flushed, his head down as he tried to avoid eye contact. To think just a few days ago, that this man hadn't experienced an orgasm in years. It seemed ridiculous. He was so obviously made for sex. He was perfection personified--every woman's wet dream. He deserved it all. And the knowledge that I couldn't give it to him physically pained me.
Time stretched and he continued to avoid my eyes. I couldn't let him think he'd offended me. My own reactions kept getting the better of me, taking my focus away from where it should be--on him.
"Edward," I said, hoping I wasn't too late, "look at me."
He didn't move.
"Look at me, please."
He still didn't move. I put my hand on his cheek and turned his head as I knelt on the floor in front of him until he had to meet my eyes.
"You have nothing to feel embarrassed about."
Finally he really looked at me, doubt evident in his eyes. But he was here, with me again. I could feel it. "Really, Edward. That was so hot I couldn't speak. Just the image..." I shivered in memory of his incredible mouth on me. "Don't ever feel awkward about wanting to give a woman pleasure like that. She'd have to be a fool to turn you down."
"Really?" he asked, his voice rough.
"Really." I leaned in and kissed him again. I was done playing with him. I was going to give him what I could of myself now. I was done holding back. Tonight, I was going to love Edward Cullen with every part of my body and soul.
God, I was so relieved that she wasn't put off by what I said. I couldn't believe she was here, kissing me so softly, as though I might break.
Her voice cut into my thoughts once again. "So, you sure you're ready?"
I nodded, not trusting my voice not to squeak at the moment.
"Okay, remember what I said before. If anything starts to make you feel even a little anxious, stop me and we'll deal with it. I won't do anything you are uncomfortable with. You need to tell me though, I can't read your mind."
I laughed. I couldn't read her mind either and for once I actually wanted to. I wanted to know everything she was thinking. The curiosity burned inside me.
"Okay?" she said, prompting me.
"Yeah, okay." I said, swallowing down the sudden nerves.
I didn't know what this power was he had over me. Was it was the sound of his voice or the image of him pouring out his soul as I took him in my mouth that was driving this wild need for him? Yeah!
He leaned down and stopped any further thoughts with his soft lips moving against mine. I took his passion and gave it back, exploring his mouth thoroughly.
I gauged his expression as I undid the buttons on his shirt, reaching up to feel the hard planes of his chest and pushing the shirt down his arms and onto the floor. I kissed and licked and sucked on the salty skin of his neck as he groaned. I grazed my teeth across his earlobe before whispering, "Can I take your pants off?"
He moaned louder and I took that as an invitation to keep going. I quickly removed his pants and led him over to the piano, fearing that if I knelt in front of him were we were, we wouldn't make it to there at all.
His eyes sparkled with excitement as he sat on the bench and waited for my lead. "What should I play?"
"Anything! Play me one of your favorites."
His forehead wrinkled in concentration before his fingers ghosted over the keys. A melody, unbearably sweet and hauntingly familiar wove into the air around us. He looked up at me then, his gaze locked onto mine and I couldn't look away. The music only strengthened our connection, stitching us together. Something told me to break the connection—to pull back now before it was too late. But it was physically impossible to break away from him.
It soon became unbearable to stand there, beside the keyboard watching him. I had to move closer—had to touch him. I walked behind him, placing kisses on his neck and collarbone. He shivered, but continued to play without faltering.
Positioning myself between him and the piano, I tried not to interfere with the music as I sank to my knees. I raked my fingers over his chest and he flubbed a note, but continued to play. The magical energy swirled around us as the music poured out of him, pulling me closer and guiding my actions.
I took one last look up at Edward, just to be sure. His eyes were dark green and focused on me so intensely that it made my entire body tingle.
The music continued to pour out of him and gather me in and I didn't try to resist any longer. I leaned forward and took him in my mouth. His groan intermingled with my own and a dissonant chord or two rang out as I felt him hit the back of my throat. Swirling my tongue around him, I pulled back only to repeat the action, setting into a rhythm. He continued to play, missing the occasional note. I could feel the energy flowing between us, so powerful I was at a loss for how to stop it, and I didn't really want to. The reality was so much better than I could have ever imagined. I rubbed my thighs together, trying to quell the ache.
When I felt his energy surge, I pulled back and slowed, letting him fall back before I pulled him to the edge again. His eyes were pure fire as they watched me. I wanted this to go on forever—on and on. But if he kept looking at me like that, I was going to come without him ever having to touch me. I never even realized that was possible.
"Please," he murmured as he continued to play, moving smoothly into another song. "Please, Bella … I can't… I want… Don't stop..."
His panting turned to cries as he came with a dissonant chord and a clatter of notes.
I swallowed down his essence and licked my lips. His eyes shone as he pulled me up into his lap, all traces of awkwardness gone.
"You are so beautiful," he said into my hair as he stroked my back.
I pulled back to look into his eyes and my throat closed tight with emotion. He was perfection and this was right where I wanted to be.
I couldn't concentrate on anything but Bella. She completely mesmerized me. She spoke softly as she undressed me, but I hardly even noticed the clothes leaving my body. She led me over to the piano and I sat on the bench and waited, realizing that I was almost naked as the coolness of the bench soaked through my boxers.
My mind drew a blank. What could I play for the woman I loved while she went down on me? Did they have playlists for such things? I muttered something about what to play and she asked me to just play one of my favorites. I mentally scrolled through my repertoire and finally settled on an easy Mozart piece.
The melody started as my hands moved over the keys on autopilot. It was one of the first songs I'd learned for a recital. And it was one I didn't have to think about. I looked up to meet those brown eyes and sucked in a sharp breath. Her gaze was so focused and intense, I couldn't look away. I'd never felt so vulnerable as I played before. It felt as though I was cracked wide open, my soul pouring out at her feet. I wondered if she could feel it too.
She touched me then and I sighed in relief. She kissed and nipped at my body before climbing in front of me and kneeling. I steeled myself for the contact I knew was coming. I looked down as she took me in her mouth and let out a low groan. I botched a few notes but carried on, my fingers resuming the patterns they were used to.
Her mouth was so warm and perfect, just like the other night. I could hardly stand it. She swirled her tongue around me and took me in until I felt her throat tight around me. Was this what it would feel like when I was finally inside her?
She teased me relentlessly, taking me to the edge only to pull away and start over, slowly building me back up.
My fingers faltered over the notes, changing keys before moving onto the next song. But I couldn't focus on the song. I didn't even know what it was. I watched my erection slide over her full lips, her eyes glowing as she watched me through her long lashes. Her blush radiated down her neck and across her chest.
I felt my music pouring into her, filling her as she took me higher and higher. I couldn't take it again. She had to know what she was doing to me. Endearments rolled off my lips as I begged her to finish it. The intensity roared through me like wildfire as I grunted out my release. She swallowed it down and looked hungry for more, as if she wanted to eat me whole.
I pulled her into my lap and stroked her back as I kissed her gently, pouring out all my gratitude.
"You are so beautiful." It was woefully inadequate.
She hummed into my neck and I kissed her again, focusing on her neck.
"My turn," I said before sliding the zipper down the back of her dress. She stood up and the slinky dress pooled to the floor.
I sucked in a breath as she stood in front of me in a silky blue corset complete with thong and stockings. All of the blood in my body rushed south. How could I be hard again so quickly? This woman had completely bewitched me, body and soul.
I moaned as I pulled her to me, dipping my tongue into her mouth and tasting strawberries and wine and Bella, mixed with a little taste of salt and musk that must have been me.
The feeling of the satin beneath my fingers, stretched tight over her ribs as her tongue moved against mine was too much. I wanted in a way I'd never experienced before. It was a deep vibration ringing through my body, something primal, a need to possess. My kisses turned to nips at her neck and collarbone. She shivered and I felt her nipples strain against the satin, pebbling under my palm.
Needing to taste her I freed her breasts from the top of the corset and leaned down. The sweet flesh puckered against my tongue. I sucked and tasted as she moaned and ran her fingers through my hair. The urge to consume her coursed through me. I had to taste her, feel her arousal on my tongue. I needed to drown myself in her scent, memorize it so that I'd never forget.
I growled as I lifted her and laid her back onto the piano. The deep blue of the satin made her creamy skin glow in stark contrast to the black piano. It was incredible--beyond anything my imagination could have cooked up. I'd never seen anything so damn beautiful in my life. I wanted to keep her here always, spread open, waiting for me.
The animal in me threatened to take over, so I pushed it back and let my eyes roam over her form. She was so beautiful in that moment--offering herself to me, completely trusting. The urge died back a bit and I couldn't wait any longer. I pulled the silky thong from her body slowly, gently, with all of the patience I could manage, and raised it to my nose, inhaling the scent that was uniquely Bella.
I held her eyes as I pulled her legs open, her arousal glistening as I spread her open with my fingers. My chest rumbled as I leaned down and took one long, wet lick. The groan she let out made my erection pulse against my stomach. Without waiting another minute I dipped my tongue into every crevice and explored her. She moaned and squirmed beneath me and I set my mind to record every second of it. I wanted to remember every detail. I rubbed my face in her, coating my skin with that fragrance, wanting it to stay with me forever. I couldn't get enough. I'd never get enough of this.
I played her body like my piano, coaxing sounds from her, making her breath come in short gasps. Her sex contracted around my fingers as I entered her. She felt so tight and I wondered what it would feel like to be inside her, being gripped like that. I groaned into her at the thought, and continued to stroke. Her moans became deeper and more animalistic as I continued to move my fingers inside her. It felt as though there was something inside her--like a balloon filling up with liquid. I was confused for a moment, not understanding what was happening, but her sounds let me know that it was good. I let myself go, not second guessing, simply responding to her sounds with as much pleasure as I could provide. I moved my fingers faster and sucked her clit into my mouth. Her whole body stiffened and I realized it must be time. Her insides tightened and I felt her almost pushing my fingers out.
"Edward--uh--don't stop," she panted the words.
A gush of fluid flooded my face and I almost stopped out of shock. The liquid was salty and clear. It wasn't as strong as her normal taste. I moved my face and kept stroking her with my fingers, milking the liquid from her. It continued to pour from her body as she shook uncontrollably.
It seemed to go on and on before she grabbed my hand and stilled my movements. I pulled her to me and carried her over to the couch. Sitting her on my lap I held her as the shaking calmed and peppered her hair, her shoulders, and her face with kisses.
"Wow," she finally managed. "That was unbelievable. I mean, I obviously know about the g-spot and how it works, I've just never experienced it before. Sorry about all of the--uh--fluid."
I chuckled. As if she had anything to apologize for. That was the hottest thing I could ever imagine seeing. "Don't be sorry. It was beautiful." I kissed her lips then, feeling that fire leap in my belly at the contact. "You're so beautiful. You don't even know…"
She turned in my lap so that she was straddling me and kissed me thoroughly until I was crazed with my need for her. If she stayed with me every day of forever, I'd never get enough of her.
That was the most intense orgasm ever! Of course a g-spot orgasm is supposed to be something everyone can experience, but I never really believed it. I never thought it would happen to me. The feeling was almost like having to urinate, but it just kept building and building, until my body just took over and pushed it out. The shaking afterward was surprising. It just completely took over me and lasted what seemed like forever.
What was most surprising though was how I could have such an amazing, intense orgasm and still want more. After my orgasm finally passed, I was left with an ache--a need to have him inside me. Feeling his erection pressed against me as I kissed and caressed him only made that ache more intense. I wanted to give him back something--to give him everything.
Eventually, I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and cleaned up the mess. How could I have possibly had that much fluid? It looked like I'd spilled half a bottle of wine.
"So, you--well, you'll stay tonight?" His question caught me off guard. I'd never spent the night with a client before. I hadn't actually slept with anyone in ages (aside from the other night that he spent at my place.) I must have taken too long to answer though because he started to backpedal. "I mean, you don't have to. I just thought--I mean--I just wondered…" He rubbed the back of his neck as his face flamed red and I wondered at how fast he could turn from the confident lover who had me squirming beneath him to this shy, awkward boy.
"No, sorry, my mind was just drifting. Of course I'll stay."
Butterflies rattled around my stomach as I watched my reflection in the bathroom mirror. It seemed ridiculous that I should be nervous. I felt like a virgin on prom night. How twisted from the norm could we get? I splashed cold water on my face and decided to just go out there, before I had time to think about it too much. I wanted this to be good for him--as tender and loving as I could make it. I wanted it to be the perfect first time.
I opened the door to find him seated on the bed, waiting for me. The bed was a massive sleigh style with a thick navy comforter. And Edward was perfect, his head bowed and his fingers running through that crazy head of hair.
"Would you mind unlacing me?" I turned my back to him as he stood. His fingers worked on the laces and, every gentle brush or contact he made sent shooting chills across my skin. The thing finally let go of its tight hold on my body and my skin tingled at the contact of the cool air. I let it fall to the floor before I turned in his arms and pressed my naked body against his.
He leaned down and kissed me slowly, exploring every bit of my mouth. I sighed into him. I couldn't get enough.
When I finally pulled away I pushed him back onto the bed and crawled over him. I kissed my way up his body until I reached his face. Once there, I stopped and pulled back to really look into his eyes. "Are you sure?"
He groaned and pulled me to him. "Yes."
It was all the answer I needed. I let it overtake me then--all the need and lust and love--and I let it pour from me. I couldn't say the words, but I'd show him. I'd show him everything. Our kisses were slow and sensual, building in intensity until we were both panting with raw need.
"You just lay back," I murmured into his neck, "and let me show you--" how I feel--my love for you.
His eyes burned into me as I sat back and I was afraid for a moment that I'd spoken my thoughts aloud. I was so lost in the intensity between us that I almost forgot the obligatory condom. I scrambled with my purse on the nightstand before rolling it on and kneeling over him. I watched his eyes roll back as I sank down onto him with a loud groan. God, he filled me up like no one else ever had. I just sat there for a moment, getting used to the fullness and the tiny sparks that the contact shot through me.
He met my eyes again and I allowed myself to get lost in my fantasy. I could almost see the love in his eyes, though I knew it was my overactive imagination. I'd take it. I'd take whatever I could get of him tonight. I allowed my own love to shine through. He recognized it. I could tell by the surprised expression on his face, but I couldn't let him dwell on it for too long.
I started to move with long, slow strokes. Sensation licked through my body--tiny sparks radiating from where we were joined. He groaned and moaned and thrashed as I rode him. Reaching up he palmed my breasts and pinched my nipples. It was heaven. More sensation than I ever thought possible.
Just when I thought he might lose it, the fire in his eyes overflowed and he turned us. Pulling me under him he drove into me hard and fast. I gasped at the change of angle and pressure it caused.
He never looked away from my eyes, making sure that I was all right. In my immense imagination I could see his love filling me up till I could take no more. A hum radiated through my body, as though every pore contributed to the sound, like a chord that can only be achieved by the two voicings. Our souls sang. God, how ridiculously cheesy could I get? But this was some powerful shit. I'd had sex before, but it had never been like this--so intensely consuming. Every nerve in my body was tuned to his movements.
His moans grew as frantic as his thrusts. My name fell from his lips like a chant and I knew he was close.
I pulled his face down to mine and tasted his lips. He slowed down and the sensation increased exponentially. My orgasm started to build in my belly and I was damn well going to take him with me. I pulled him closer and nipped at his ear before speaking. "You're perfect, baby--love--the way you feel--inside me--so big--so hard--filling me up--so good--"
At my words he pulsed inside me and I was lost, thrashing beneath him as my orgasm ripped through me, wringing out every last bit of pleasure my body could give.
As my breathing calmed, feeling returned to my limbs. Edward's crushing weight on me was so comforting that I couldn't bring myself to make him move, even though it was starting to hurt a bit. But he must have realized because he leaned back, taking his weight on his elbows. His eyes glowed and he looked like a love struck boy who just lost his virginity.
I should put some distance between us, but I couldn't pull out the professionalism tonight. Right here in this moment, I wasn't going to lie to myself. He'd just given me so much and I was going to let him feel my love tonight. There'd be time enough for distance all too soon.
The look of concentration on his face made me chuckle. "That was--" he started, but his mouth just hung open as he tried to find the words.
I smiled and cupped his face in my hands. "I know," was all I said. And though I knew he couldn't read my mind in that moment, it felt like we understood each other perfectly.
As I sat on the bed, waiting for Bella to finish up in the bathroom, I let my mind wander back to the piano. The picture of her laid out before me was burned into my brain. I'd never get it out and I didn't want to.
Nerves knocked around my stomach. I knew Bella didn't expect anything from me and she knew I was a virgin, but I wanted desperately to satisfy her. I wanted to be a real man for her--if only for tonight--because it would probably be the only chance I got.
Of course I didn't expect much, it being my first time. I probably wouldn't last long enough to do much for her--though the earlier activity at the piano had to help.
Before I could get too lost in the downward spiral, she appeared in the doorway, still clad in the blue silk. I stood as she walked over to me and asked me to unlace her. Then she turned, her skin against mine, the silk in a pile at her feet.
Sensation shot through my body like an adrenaline rush. I bent to kiss her, putting everything I felt into my actions. I was going to love Bella tonight and nothing else mattered.
She pushed me back and climbed on top of me, grinding against me. She kissed and nipped my body and told me to let her take care of it. "Let me show you," she said. I could have sworn I heard her voice in my head--how much I love you. But I knew it was just my mind playing tricks.
She fumbled for a condom (something that had completely slipped my mind) and put it on before sinking down onto me. Hot, wet warmth surrounded me. And she was oh so damn tight. I almost lost it right there, but I reined it in, thinking about a host of less than sexy images. I finally got it together. I could do this.
Then she started to move.
A groan tore from my throat so long and loud I wouldn't be surprised if my nearest neighbor 4 miles away could hear me. But I didn't care at this point. The house could be burning down around me and I probably wouldn't notice.
The sensation was more intense than I could have ever dreamed. It covered my whole body--not just where we were joined. She rode me slowly, her head tilted back, mouth open, cheeks flushed, breasts bouncing with every movement. I reached up and held them, pulling and twisting her nipples like she showed me in the shower. The feel of them pebbling against my palm was too much. I couldn't take any more. I needed in a way I could have never imagined possible. I had to possess her. I had to hear her sounds, memorize each one.
I used my leg muscles to flip us until I was over her, still joined together. I moaned as I pounded into her. Her voice came to me in breaths and groans and whimpers. I swallowed them with my mouth on hers. This was it. I couldn't hold off any longer. It was too much. Then she pulled me closer and her teeth grazed my earlobe. Her voice was soft and husky in my ear. "You're perfect, baby--love--the way you feel--inside me--so big--so hard--filling me up--so good--"
The heat flowed from my abdomen in a huge shock as my orgasm slammed through me. Her heat clamped tight around me. It went on and on in unending waves and I was lost. Bella's body was the only thing anchoring me to earth as I floated away. Her strained breath in my ear brought me out of my stupor and I held my weight off of her.
As I looked at her I thought about all of the things I wanted to say. The tenderness in her eyes almost pulled the 'I love you' from my lips. But I bit back the words. What do you say to the woman you love--the woman you've just had your first sexual experience with? Thanks seemed so inadequate. "That was…"
Her hands on my cheeks were so reverent I almost sobbed. I'm turning into such a girl. "I know," she said, and I believed it was true. In that moment, all the barriers were down and I was holding my Bella.
I lay awake late that night, feeling Bella wrapped around me and knowing that it would likely be the only night like this for us. She stirred against me as I started to doze off and murmured something in her sleep. I pulled back to speak but she was still asleep. "Edward," she said, then sighed, "--love--Edward."
I couldn't stop the blinding smile that broke across my face. She was dreaming of me. Could she possibly love me? Really?
I shook the feeling off. Maybe she just needed a bit more time. I had to think of some way to extend this. If I could just get her to stay longer, maybe she'd realize--what exactly? I groaned in frustration.
Just as I was falling asleep an idea popped into my mind. It just might work. At least it might get her to stay a little longer.
Okay, so Virginward no more. Ah well, more fun to come--so to speak. This chapter just seemed to go on and on, so we're looking at two more, plus the epilogue. I promise not to leave you hanging again for months at a time. I'll try to get the next one up in a few weeks. Please be patient with me and don't throw fruit--it's a waste and I can't write it I'm catching apples.
Reviews are better than apples, but not better than a piano playing Edward.