Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate: Atlantis.
Author's Notes: This was written for the Guild of the Fantastic Quill's April Fool's Challenge. For more info on the Guild check out fantasticquill. blogspot. com (remove spaces).
Rodney was fairly certain he was having an aneurysm. He balanced his notebook on one arm, his hand against his throbbing forehead as he sputtered at the wraith standing in front of him.
"Useless!" Rodney snapped. His round face reddened with exertion, and he stepped forward, throwing a finger into the wraith's chest. "If you can't help me with a single configuration, I have no idea why you're still here!"
Todd cocked his head, lifting his cuffed hands ever so slightly. The wraith was beginning to get used to Dr. McKay's shouting, and the creature's deep, crackling voice was surprisingly calm when he looked down at the small man. "If you would release me, perhaps I could be of better assistance."
"I'm sure," Rodney muttered. He glared down at his notebook. "Just tell me what to do and. . ."
"Am I interrupting something?" John asked, a small smirk on his face. He stepped further into the lab, feigning hesitation. "'Cause I could come back later, if you two are in the middle of something private."
"Here enters the court jester," Rodney said, frowning. "What do you want?"
"A joke, McKay. Someone's in a mood." Before Rodney could reply, John continued, "I just thought I'd stop in and see if you turned in your last reports for March. IOA seemed less than happy with me this morning."
Rodney snorted, his fingers pattering over the touch screen. He didn't look up.
"They were due at the end of March--so, yes, I turned it in. Yesterday. Not everyone is perpetually late with their paperwork." He paused, shaking off the argument in his head. "At least, not every month."
John scratched his mop of messy black hair. "Guess I should turn these in, then," he noted, staring down at the stack of papers in his hand.
Todd cleared his throat. Rodney's eyes darted up to the wraith.
"What now?" Rodney snapped. "Ready to tease me with more useless information?"
The wraith straightened. "I have," Todd began, his face oddly stoic, "mated with your sister, Dr. McKay. Twice."
The lab was silent.
Rodney's mouth opened and closed, his lips unable to form words. Without a second thought, his arm flung out, his fist slamming into the wraith's jaw. John burst into laughter at Todd's stunned expression.
"That was not as amusing as you said it would be, Sheppard," Todd noted.
Rodney's eyes widened in realization. He turned on his friend. "You told a wraith about April Fools' Day!"