AN: Before we start, Ichigo is OOC in this for sure. I picked out the things that I find endearing about him and magnified them and excluded other things so if you're a diehard Ichigo fan then you will probably be disappointed in my portrayal of him. Sorry. Although there is a large part of Ichigo POV in this story, Ichigo is really a secondary character. I really just wanted to write some Shuuhei/Renji smut.
Comments and critcism are always welcome. Tell me what you liked, what you didn't. I don't offend easily and try my best to reply to each review so please be honest with me. Thank you!

Italics are Ichigo's thoughts.


"Oi, Renji," Ichigo said, walking into the redhead's quarters unannounced.

There was something not right here. Ichigo's mind registered Renji's presence in the room, along with his good friend, Hisagi Shuuhei. That wasn't unusual but something else was... It may have been the alcohol already buzzing through his veins but although Ichigo heard the wet slurping sounds and noticed the unusual lack of clothing and the fact that both men were lying in reverse position on the bed, he couldn't quite string all the the things together to properly assess the situation. It took a moment for all of it to sink in so he forged on with the purpose of his visit.

"You want some of this…" Suddenly, a slow revelation.

Wait a minute... are they?

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Renji propped himself on his elbow and looked over his shoulder. They really needed to remember to lock that door.

"Why is it that we always get caught in this position?" He asked.

"Probably because we do this position an awful lot," Hisagi said, also propping himself up on the futon.

"We do, don't we?" Renji mused fondly. It was a very good position after all.

They shared a smile and leaned close to press their lips together.

"WILL YOU PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!!!" Ichigo bellowed from the spot where he stood rooted in by the door.

To his credit, Ichigo had spun around so he wouldn't see anything. Although, he hadn't left which begged the question, why not? This could be fun, Hisagi and Abarai thought simultaneously.

"What the hell are you doing here anyway?" Renji asked. "You could have knocked."

"Like you would have answered? I came to see if you wanted some of this," Ichigo said holding out a bottle for their inspection.

"Where did you get sake?" Renji asked.

"Good sake," Hisagi added, nodding at the label.

"Ikkaku threw it at me when I told him to stop feeling up Yumichika in public. He said to get lost and go drink elsewhere. Why the hell is everyone in Soul Society so damn horny tonight?"

"Che, you're too innocent to understand," Renji scoffed.

"Shut up, asshole," Ichigo growled spinning to face the man angrily.

He quickly realized his mistake as he got an eyeful of two very naked men. Ichigo clasped his hands over his eyes with a screech.

"See?" Renji said.

"TEME!" Ichigo roared from behind his hands.

"He's a virgin?" Hisagi asked.

"Can't you tell?" Renji snorted.

"Interesting…" Shuuhei smirked and snaked his tongue over his upper lip.

"Oi! Don't get any ideas!" Ichigo scowled.

"Way of Binding No. 132."

Ichigo fell to his knees, the hands covering his eyes swung and locked behind his back and his mouth sealing shut. The bottle of sake he was carrying fell with a soft thud by his left knee. His eyes went wide with surprise then he clamped them shut again as quickly as he could. He wanted to scream bloody murder but all that could be heard were garbled sounds in the back of his throat.

"Hey," Renji said admiringly, "when did you learn that?"

"I've been taking lessons," Hisagi said with a wink.

"Why haven't you been using it on me?"

"I don't need to, Renji-kun," Shuuhei cooed in his innocent Rukia voice. "You're already so adorably submissive when I top."

"Not today," Renji growled, pouncing his lover onto the mattress.

Ichigo squirmed and screamed in vain. His movements were restricted and his voice was barricaded by his unmoving lips. They weren't going to do anything, were they? Not while he was here. They sure as hell better not! He didn't need that image burned into his brain.

Stop making out you bastards! No one wants to see that… Renji's a tall guy. I wonder how big his… Ewww! No! Yuck!!! Let me go!

Renji rolled Shuuhei onto his stomach and pulled his hips up.

I don't want to see this! I don't want to see this! I don't want to see this!

Ichigo shut his eyes even more tightly. The sound of gentle kisses floated over to Ichigo's ears and the sensual sound of Shuuhei sighing. Then the sheets were ruffled, someone was giggling and something sounded wet. Really wet.

What the hell?

Ichigo subtly cracked an eye open, just to see what was going on. He snapped it back shut again, wishing he had never looked.

Ugh!

But now that he had an image to match the sound, Ichigo couldn't really unthink it. The sloppy sounds of Renji's tongue tracing patterns over Shuuhei's entrance seemed to be getting more exuberant. Shuuhei's giggles had turned to unmistakably lustful moans. Ichigo cracked an eye open again. Shuuhei's face was pressed into the mattress, his fingers tangled in the sheets and his hips pressing back against the exploring tongue. Renji's face was buried between smooth, perfectly rounded cheeks. There seemed to be no sense of uneasiness coming from the redhead despite the fact that he was probing at Shuuhei's hole like he was digging for treasure.

Eww! How the hell can he do that?

It was like watching a train wreck or a slasher film, where you really wanted to look away but at the same time you couldn't quite do it. There was something oddly fascinating about the way Renji seemed to be taking so much pleasure in making Shuuhei squirm like that. Did it really feel that good? It certainly seemed like Shuuhei was enjoying it. Damn, he was a moany bastard.

Good, they're stopping! Wait, what are they doing now?

Renji ghosted his fingers over Shuuhei's entrance. He placed placed soft kisses against one firm round cheek as began tracing circular patterns along the cleft.

Well, this at least seems slightly more hygienic… What the hell!?

Slipping his finger into his mouth, Renji sucked for a moment then pressed into the puckered entrance. Ichigo didn't think his eyes could go any wider. Renji's finger retreated but was soon joined by a second slick finger. He pushed it in and pulled it out, stretching and stroking with gentle but firm pressure. A third finger joined the others and Ichigo began to worry.

How much is he going to put in there?

Renji's long, thick fingers continued to probe and now twist inside of Shuuhei's body.

That's not hygienic at all!!! What would dad say? Wait. That sick fucker would probably have popcorn by now!

Ichigo's eyes traveled over Renji's body. The tattoos stood in stark contrast to his lightly tanned skin. Renji's ministrations over Shuuhei's body were gentler and more loving than anyone could imagine possible for the impatient redhead. The muscles in Renji's arms flexed as he penetrated his lover with his digits and Ichigo was secretly envious. This man had an impressive body; broad shoulders, thick arms, chiseled chest and defined abdomen…

I wonder how much I'd have to work out in order to bulk up like that…

Renji shifted positions and sat back on his haunches. He licked his palm then lowered it to his…

How the hell is that even possible? Why is it so damn big!?

Had Ichigo not been green with envy, the logical part of his brain would have reminded him that at 6'2" and being built the way he was, Renji's penis was not actually large per se, it was merely proportioned to the rest of his rather large body. Regardless, feeling somewhat inadequate at the moment, Ichigo couldn't help but wonder how the hell Renji was planning to fit that in such a delicate place as Shuuhei's… you know. Was this even possible? Shuuhei could get seriously hurt.

"Renji," Shuuhei whimpered.

Isn't he terrified?

Hisagi certainly didn't seem terrified. He seemed eager.

Renji chuckled a little and pressed his proportionate head against the tight heat. Hisagi groaned and pressed back. Grasping Shuuhei's hips tightly with his large hands, Renji sank in inch by inch (and there were many inches,) deeper and deeper until his pelvis was resting flush against the luscious curve of Shuuhei's backside. They stayed like that for a few moments, panting hard, enjoying each other and adjusting to the surely overwhelming sensations.

Ichigo's mouth was dry. He couldn't believe this was happening. How did he land himself in this situation? This is what he got for accepting a round of drinks with Ikkaku. Damn he was parched. Where the hell was that sake?

Ah, there it is.

Ichigo grabbed the bottle and brought it to his lips. He pulled the cork out with his teeth and spat it on the floor. The first thick swallow was smooth going down and left a wonderfully warm tingling sensation as it coated his throat. So this was why Ikkaku liked sake so much. A sharp intake of breath brought his attention back to the bed. Renji was moving his hips now. Slowly, Renji pulled almost all the way out then slid back in with the same painstaking pace. Ichido's sake was momentarily forgotten, even as his mouth seemed to be losing moisture once again.

A tingle. An unmistakable tingle could be felt within him.

I'm getting off on this?! What the hell is wrong with me! I need more alcohol.

Ichigo took another large gulp of sake. Damn, this was some good stuff. It had to be if he was getting turned on by this. That was the only explanation because there was no way in hell he would be getting off on watching Renji slowly fucking another man if he wasn't some kind of drunk.

"Renji," Shuuhei gasped.

"Yes, dear?"

"What the hell are you waiting for? Fuck me already!"

"I am."

"Faster, damn it."

"It's been awhile since I topped."

"Yeah, yeah, you've got a great big cock," Shuuhei growled in a slightly annoyed voice. "How many times do you have to gloat?"

"It really never gets old."

"Fuck me now or else…"

"Or else what?"

"I'll do it my damn self."

Renji grinned evilly. He pulled out and lay on his back with his hand pillowed beneath his head.

"I love it when you ride me."

As an afterthought, Renji curled onto his side and pulled a bottle from the floor beside the bed. He coated his hand with oil and slicked up his length.

Showoff. I would have to use both hands if I was to do that... Not that would want to!

Ichigo's thoughts were interrupted as Shuuhei stood and moved into position. For the first time that evening, Ichigo got to see him in his full frontal state. His body was not as bulky as Renji's. He was more on the slender side but his body was well defined and every muscle was discernible beneath the creamy smooth skin. He wondered why Shuuhei didn't have any tattoos on his body but instead had chosen to get them on his face. That was a bit odd but even as he thought it, Ichigo had to admit that marring the immaculate skin with thick inky lines would be somewhat disappointing. Ichigo also couldn't help but take note that Shuuhei's length was far more normal than a certain thick headed, red... okay, wrong choice of words. The point was he didn't feel inadequate as compared to Shuuhei. Maybe... He would have to check when he got home. Where had he kept that ruler?

Ichigo flushed red as he watched Shuuhei's body engulf Renji's length. His eyes couldn't help but watch. His frown deepened as he tried to rationalize how on earth that area could be so stretchy. Was that normal or was it something that only Shinigami could get away with since they didn't have human bodies? Well, he had to admit that he could take a lot more pain and damage in his spirit form than he would be able to in his human form so maybe he was on to something. Still, it was all the way in now and even if it was tolerable in spirit form, it certainly couldn't be enjoyable. He ventured a glance up at Shuuhei's face and blushed even harder as the dark haired shinigami locked eyes with him and gave him a naughty smirk and a wink.

Ichigo took another large swig from his bottle. Damn, he couldn't pretend he wasn't looking now. He considered closing his eyes when Shuuhei began to move. He leaned back slightly and bounced his hips enthusiastically. Up, down, up, down... No trace of discomfort at all. Shuuhei's gaze remained fixed on Ichigo as the youth watched transfixed, the disgust he had displayed earlier clearly taking a back seat to the curiosity. Shuuhei's smirk turned into an all out grin. Ichigo was deliberately avoiding looking Shuuhei in the face now. Instead he seemed to be bewitched by the way the two lovers bodies moved together. The flex of muscles beneath pale, glistening skin contrasting the heavy marking on Renji's slightly darker skin was somehow... pretty. Ichigo thought of his last field trip to the art gallery. If a photographer were here, he would probably take some black and white pictures, then crop out the indecencies then blow them up. He could make a fortune off of those pictures. Ichigo could just imagine all the fangirls at school who would be willing to sacrifice their best friend to get at pictures like that.

What the hell is wrong with me? After tonight, I am never touching this shit again!

Ichigo swallowed another mouthful knowing that he sure as hell needed the sake to make it through this night.

"Turn around," Renji's deep voice rumbled quietly.

Shuuhei lifted himself onto his knees and swung around to face his lover. Renji lifted himself onto his elbows and met Shuuhei halfway for a kiss. It was almost tender and if they hadn't been doing the nasty, Ichigo may have even thought it could have been cute. Instead, Renji's large hands gripped Shuuhei's slim hips and pulled him back into position. This time, instead of Shuuhei doing all the work, Renji met every thrust with a hard upwards snap of his hips. Shuuhei hissed at the sudden change in pace and Ichigo being Ichigo, worried that he was getting hurt.

Damn it, Renji! Be more careful! That's a sensitive area!

But no sooner than he had thought it did Shuuhei's hiss of what must have been surprise turned into unmistakable gasps of pleasure. Renji grunted in satisfaction. Ichigo could almost smell the testosterone in the room. At least what he convinced himself testosterone smelled like. He really didn't want to think what else that smell might be. The air crackled with the intensity of a fight. It was strangely familiar and yet completely foreign to the orange haired teenager at the very same time.

Renji was seemingly frustrated by his lack of mobility from beneath Shuuhei. He sat up abruptly and spread his legs, toppling Shuuhei onto his back. Then raising himself onto his knees and wrapping Shuuhei's long slender legs around his waist. He gave a few experimental thrusts, adjusted his angle and tried again. When Shuuhei threw his head back and shuddered, Renji had found his spot. He reached down and wrapped his hand over his lover's neglected erection, stroking roughly, while pounding into him with renewed ardor. Everything was getting more frantic now. Shuuhei was searching for purchase somewhere, anywhere! His hands gripped the sheets, the mattress and finally came to rest on Renji's shoulders where their fierce grip would surely leave marks the next day. The grunting and moaning and panting were getting more emphatic.

I wonder how Renji's neighbours ever get any sleep.

Ichigo really wished he could tear his eyes away. Not that he was being shy anymore because at this point he was surely already scarred for life. Although it was Renji and Shuuhei's fault that he was being forced to witness this, Ichigo couldn't help but feel like he was intruding on what should be a very private and intimate moment. It was clear even to him that the two Shingami weren't just fooling around but truly cared for one another. He knew he could probably close his eyes but...

I've seen this much, may as well see it all...

Before Ichigo's mind could form a rebuttle, a scream tore through the room, dragging Ichigo's attention back to the bed. Shuuhei was shuddering hard, his nails digging into Renji's shoulders, his head thrown back and on his face was a look of utter completion. Stream after stream of white fluid splurted over his stomach and some as high up as his shoulder. Renji's free hand had moved to the mattress and was gripping the sheets savagely. His eyes were closed and he had on and incredibly intense expression. With a low deep growl, he shuddered just as Shuuhei had and climaxed inside of his lover.

Woah... So much for looking away.


Both collapsed on the bed exhausted. Ichigo didn't quite know what to do. He simply stayed there frozen listening to their breathing return to normal. It seemed that they had forgotten he was even there. Should he remind them?

"When do you think he'll figure out he's not bound anymore?" Shuuhei asked suddenly, grinning up at Renji.

"I want to know if he's gonna leave us any of that sake," Renji replied.

Ichigo looked down at the bottle in his hand. It was half finished. He had drunk this much? He had been drinking this entire time! He hadn't even noticed that he wasn't bound? Great! Now he looked like some kind of pervert! Stupid Renji! Stupid Shuuhei!

In hopes of concealing his embarrassment, Ichigo planted the ever present scowl on his reddened face and attempted to look as menacing as possible.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me I wasn't bound earlier?" He bellowed, slamming the bottle noisily on the ground.

"Enjoying the show so much you didn't even notice it, huh?" Renji smirked evilly at him.

"As if, asshole!"

Ichigo leapt to his feet and stomped towards the door.

"Oi, Ichigo," Shuuhei called from behind him.

Ichigo turned just before he reached the door.

"Nice tent."

Ichigo fled into the night, red faced, with the sound of raucous laughter echoing behind him.