I was lying on my bed when this came to me all of the sudden. Well, actually, only the last one came to me, and the other ones I came up with in like... three minutes. HENCE the LAMEEENESS of them. No really, they suck. I wrote this thing in no more than 20 minutes. BUT, if I plead and plead and beg, Kayla will accept this as an update and I can go another three months without one, kay? OKAY! So... here's my spinned crap for all to read. YAY!
Oh, AND I didn't even re-read it. So there's BOUND to be mistakes. Really, I post this so that I can say I've updated in the past few months... until I post again... if EVER. Dun Dun Dun!
Warning: It gets cracky at the very very very very VERY end. But that's because I got cracky... wait. No.. I just... Crack kills unless used in such ways that I use it. Wait, no, because I don't use crack... I just... I get high tiredness and this is what comes of it? IDK! AH! -runs away before everyone hunts me down for an unneeded intervention... PS, I spelled my name wrong in the title and just came back to fix the spelling of it... Great. I'm just that amazing.
Natty vs. the April Fools Update
It was a beautiful sunny morning in Burbank, a day that despite it's beauty, Chuck was not looking forward to; April Fools Day.
The holiday that he saw almost no point to.
Why, after all, was it started? It serves no purpose, celebrates nothing other than people's stupidity; something that just shouldn't be celebrated.
To him, the day screams "Yay! People are stupid! Their IQs are dropping! Let's go make fun of all those people and make it a special day! WHOOO! Why? Because we too are stupid! YAY!" and cue the hit on the forehead with a plank of wood.
So when Chuck stepped into the BuyMore only to be pelted with his Ho's, he was anything but enthusiastic.
"Chuck, my man!" Lester yelled in the middle of Chuck doing Lester's job.
Chuck spun around in his chair, crossing his arms. He shot Lester an annoyed look. "What do you need, Lester." he stated in a monotonic tone.
"Jeff passed out in the bathroom--he got really drunk last night and had a little too much fun at the bachelor party--and I could really use some help moving him out of there. Regular people, after all, have to use the restroom."
Chuck rolled his eyes and followed Lester out of the Nerd Herd desk area and into the bathroom.
He didn't even think it was weird when Lester made him go in first...
Well, not until Jeff popped out from behind the door and slammed one of those cream pies in his far too gorgeous face.
"APRIL FOOOOLLLSSS!" They screamed in unison, chest bumping and laughing like maniacs... of which they were.
Chuck grudgingly walked out of the bathroom, just absolutely thrilled about the sticky pie on his face.
One straw was taken from his very small collection.
"Chuck!" Casey's voice boomed from behind him. Was it really necessary for him to yell when he is standing less than three feet from Chuck's ears? Chuck thought not.
Chuck turned around to look at him. "Briefing in ten."
Chuck sighed as he turned around. But, before he could get anywhere, Casey interrupted him once more.
Chuck, once again, turned around to face the big man. Casey pulled out his bright neon orange and yellow water gun and rapidly squirted Chuck in the crotch, face and chest.
"Bang." he said as he grunted and walked off.
Chuck waved goodbye to another notch of his temperance.
"Buddy! Chuck!" Morgan yelled from the front of the BuyMore, clearly concerned whether his voice would carry from there to the Nerd Herd desk and enrolling the help of two megaphones, for whatever God-awful reason.
"Yes, Morgan." Chuck replied, his voice still lifeless.
"I am Godzilla, hear me roar!" Morgan decided that this was the perfect moment to start charging at Chuck as he "roared" into the megaphones.
Well, it was also when Jeff and Lester thought it'd be funny to amazingly trip Morgan by their quick set up of invisible string, so when Morgan tripped, he went crashing into Chuck, knocking him out of his chair and having Morgan land on top of him. And those two megaphones? One went straight into Chuck's rather "sensitive spot" and one right smack dab onto his face.
It was quite sad, how much his face was getting beat up. All the women in the world cried.
"Hey, Chuck!" Sarah called from across the parking lot. She was, oddly, dressed in her Wienerlicious uniform, something that Chuck, and the men in the world, had certainly missed. "Come here!" she beckoned, and when Sarah beckons, no man can resist.
Chuck jogged over there, still frustrated with all of the April Fools stupidity that had been occurring around him, but somewhat sparked with happiness that he got to see Sarah... and the Sarah he didn't daily see because of her new job's uniform.
"I work a Wienerlicious again." she claimed.
And, of course, Chuck actually believed it.
He tried to hide the goofy man-smile to the best of his abilities, but he couldn't. He'd certainly been missing the Wienerlicious and all it's disgusting hotdogs.
"That's great!" He exclaimed.
And then she dropped the bomb. "APRIL FOOOOLS!"
Chuck's face looked like he was in pain. Wether it was pain from him being so damn gullible on the worst day to be such a man, or because... well... just because (duh!), but he looked pretty pained.
Once again, all the women cried. -cue crying-
"No, well, yes; it was a joke. But guess what else?" Sarah's pigtails bounced with her excitement.
Chuck pursued his lips for a response. "Uh...?" He came up empty.
Sarah leaned into whisper. "I love you."
Chuck pulled back, his face furiously red. He was piii-iiisssed, and it was clear as water should be. "Ha ha, Sarah. April Fools. Yeah, thanks for that one."
Sarah took Chuck's pained expression and pasted it to her face. "It wasn't a joke, dumb ass."
...And then Chuck took the expression back. "Oh, oh.. Uh..."
Sarah bitch-slapped Chuck into the next century and stomped off, pissed.
Chuck Bartowski didn't think his April Fools day could get any worse until...
...Until some random man on the "Underpants Etc." sign yelled "APRIL FOOLS, CHARLES BARTOWSKI! WAKE UP, MAN."
And Chuck woke up.
Hehehe, The EENNDDD!
April Fools, it's not.
NO wait... IT IS!