I took the biggest breath I could through my nose, felt my heart beat furiously for a few seconds and then, using all the strength possible in my jaw, I bit down on his bottom lip. I tasted something wet and copper tasting and he yelled in pain and jerked backwards holding his mouth. I was shocked and surprised I had done something so bold that I just laid there for a few seconds staring wide eyed as he pressed his fingers to mouth and looked at them and at the scarlet liquid that came from his mouth. I blinked a few times and then tasted the small bit of liquid that was on my tongue. At first I didn't realize what it was but when I tasted it I recognized it as blood and that somehow immediately snapped me back to what was happening.
If I didn't do something else soon I was in serious trouble. He too stared at me unbelievably and suddenly his face went dark.
"How dare you Matthew… how dare you... you non-appreciative and selfish br-"
I screamed at the top of my lungs after taking the biggest breath that I could with him on top of me.
I was through with being quiet. I was through with being silent and letting others just pass me by. I was through doing what everyone else told me to do. I was through with not speaking up and not saying what was on my mind. I was through with being a shadow. But most importantly I was through with France. No I was done. I was done with his advances. I was done with his threats. I was done with his manipulation. I was done with him treating me so awfully. I was just simply and plainly done.
His eyes grew angry and his hand clamped over my mouth to hush my screams. As soon as I felt the rough skin of his hand against my open mouth I bit down on his hand and he withdrew it too from pain. He slapped the side of my face and tears immediately welled in my eyes. I touched my cheek where it stung and was turning pink. I was afraid to look into France's eyes but I forced myself to brave and I did.
He was glaring at me and he was face was dark. My heart started to hammer and I was scared to even breathe. But I didn't want this to happen; I wasn't going to let this happen. And that meant I had to be brave and stand up for myself and fight off France. I wasn't going to do myself any favors by just lying there like a deer in the headlights. I needed to be strong and violent actually. I needed to believe in myself.
I suddenly sent my hand that was tightened into a fist flying into his stomach. He coughed from impact and he lost his balance and almost fell off my stomach. I took that opportunity to try to wriggle free out from under him. I pushed his leg off me and ran for the front door. I thought I was free but he grabbed my ankle and I fell to the floor and onto my stomach. I screamed and tried to get back up but he rammed his knee onto my back putting all his weight on me.
I tried to scream but his weight was making it hard for me to breathe. I tried to swing my arms behind me and hit him but he caught them with one arm and pinned them behind my back and slammed my head onto the floor with his other hand. I screamed and yelled the best I could and tried to kick but it wasn't doing any good. Tears unwillingly came to my eyes and sobs escaped my throat.
He laughed. He laughed darkly and starting talking to me like I was filth under his shoe.
"You say America loves you? Well where is he now? I don't see him coming to save his precious little Matty. You say he loves you but you're here crying and screaming! I thought when you loved someone you were supposed to save them and protect them and make sure they don't get hurt. Well he's not doing that is he? I don't think-"
Each word he said stabbed at my heart. Even though my sobs and screams were far louder than the level at which he was talking I heard every word. I heard every word as if it was blaring over a speaker system and each word stung like hot pokers. They stung and it made me angry and upset. Alfred loved me. I know he loved me. And who was France to tell me otherwise?! He didn't own me! I wasn't a toy he could play with! I was a human being with my own feelings and emotions! And I had control over myself! He didn't own me! He didn't own me!
"SHUT UP!!!!" I screamed and jerked my entire body and felt the anger that was brewing in my stomach ignite with a fury. France lost his balance and fell on top of me. I jerked around more and pushed him off of me. I wasn't going to let him hurt me! I wasn't going to let him use me! I was in control of my life and I had power.
I scrambled off the floor and again ran for the door. France got up quickly as well and tried to grab me as I reached the door but I fought back fiercely. I hit him directly in the face and gut and I think I kicked him a few times as well.
In a strange way it felt good to be hitting him. I was fed up with him and I finally got the chance to do what I had always been too afraid to. I could finally release all the built up anger I had towards France.
He somehow caught my fists and we were pushing each other's hands in opposite directions causing them to shake from tension.
"That- is-it Matthew! Consider your land mine now!"
"I don't think so!"
"Oh you don't? What gives you that right?"
"YOU DON'T OWN ME!!!"
I sent my knee flying right into his groin and he folded over in pain. I pushed him down and he fell onto the floor groaning in pain. I ran towards the door again aiming to run out and yell for help, only to have it fly open, smash into my face and knock me unconscious.
I heard yelling.
And then I heard very loud shouting and swearing.
I felt myself behind slightly picked up off the floor and being held tightly.
Was it France?
He was holding me… or was he?
Who was he shouting at?
I couldn't make out words or voices.
My head hurt badly.
I didn't want him holding me.
I couldn't see.
It was all black.
I couldn't open my eyes, they were too heavy.
I still didn't want him holding me.
I was so weak.
I had to have some strength left right?
I tried to raise my arms and push him away but when I tried my head throbbed.
I groaned in pain.
Suddenly I heard Alfred's voice calling my name softly. He was saying my name softly and shakily as if he was crying.
"Matthew! Matthew! Matthew wake up!"
I followed his voice and suddenly had the strength to open my eyes. Light flooded them and it was bright. Everything was fuzzy at first, like there were blobs everywhere with no definite shape. I was confused and my head was pounding. I couldn't remember how I had blacked out. I just remembered running towards the door and then everything going black. I resisted the urge to panic but it was hard to do so.
Had France gotten what he wanted? Had he taken advantage of me while I was unconscious? Had Alfred come in to see what was going on? Was he too late? Why were they shouting? Why was France still here? Who was holding me?
Suddenly my vision started to clear and things started taking on shapes. I saw the window and the blinds that were still drawn on it. I saw the couch and the cushions. I then saw the rug and there was a red spot on it. Wait was that… blood?! My eyes shot frantically around and I saw France standing a few feet away. He had dried blood under his lip from where I bit him and a few red marks and bruises. An odd sense of pride swept over me but then I realized something. If he was over there then who was…?
I looked up and saw Alfred looking at me with tear filled eyes. His eyes looked so sad and angry. Tears were streaming down his cheeks in streaks. I felt awful. This was the first time I had ever seen Alfred cry. I wanted to reach up and stroke his cheek but I couldn't make my arm move. My head pounded even more as I tried to move and I groaned again.
I took in breath and whispered out," Alfred…"
I weakly smiled and said softly," I'm okay… right?"
Alfred's face suddenly darkened and he turned his head up from me and towards France. I turned my eyes in the direction where France was and for some reason had the urge to scream.
I heard America's voice firmly say to him," Get the hell out."
France just stood there like a deer in the headlights and didn't move.
"I said 'get out'!" Alfred repeated even more sternly.
France seemed to regain his composure slightly as he crossed his arms and smirked. He cocked his head to the side and asked smugly," And if I don't?"
Alfred's voice grew threatening and even I myself was scared.
"I will personally cute off your stupid head, stuff it, and mount it on a wall."
"Do you even know what happened? You came in and just assumed things after hitting poor Matty in the head with the door."
So that was how I blacked out. Alfred must have heard my screams and came running in not expecting me to be right in front of the door. And due to his strength and panic, he probably opened it much harder than necessary.
"Don't call him that! You don't have the right!"
"Well well possessive aren't we? And you don't even know what was going on!"
"You bastard I know what you were trying to do!"
"Oh? And exactly was I trying to do?"
"You were trying to take advantage of Matthew you pervert!"
"And how do you know? You came in and hit Matthew with the door and immediately assumed the worst and started to scream at me. You didn't even let me explain."
"Oh I'd love to hear this!"
"Well you see I came over to discuss a possibility of new imports and exports for trade and he thought I was you when I knocked on the door so he yelled for me to come in. I let myself in and walked to the other side of the living room. He came in from the kitchen and he panicked and started to yell. I tried to tell him to calm down but he started to hit me and I only tried to defend myself. He kicked me right in the waist and ran for the door and that's when you came in."
Anger boiled in the pit of my stomach like a bomb waiting to go off. That was the biggest lie I had ever heard! He had forced his way in, interrogated me about my personal life and if I hadn't been brave and fought back he would have gotten his way. I wanted to yell at him and scream the truth but my voice was held back since I was very weak and my head hurt so much it felt like it was going to explode. But I couldn't just lay there quiet as a church mouse and let this go!
"Well if so then wah-"
"He's…lying…" I whispered.
Alfred turned his attention back to me and stared at me with pupils that were wide as saucers. He held onto me tighter and asked," What did you say?"
"He's a liar…"
France spoke up at this point. "How would you know? You got hit in the head! You're probably confused beyond belief!"
"Shut up you asshole…"
Alfred and France fell silent at the sound of a cuss word coming from my mouth. They both knew me well enough to know that I had to be furious to swear. Alfred broke the tensed silence and spoke to me softly.
"Matty… what happened?"
I didn't want to tell him. I just wanted him to hold me while I cried. I wanted France to leave me alone and never speak to me again. But I had to do this. I wasn't planning on letting France get away with this. Despite how much it hurt I told Alfred what happened.
"He came here and knocked on the door… I thought it was you so… I answered without thinking… I tried to make him leave… but he asked why… he hadn't seen much of me…lately. I told him… about us and… I told him to leave… but he got angry… and he tackled me to the ground and… got on top of me. He tried to… rape me… but I fought back and…. I ran for the door… and I guess it hit me… in the face because I blacked out."
As I told Alfred this his face grew darker with more anger. He held me tighter and I could feel him shaking. I forced myself to keep talking and tried to ignore the stares I was getting from France and the tears spilling down Alfred's cheeks. I had to take frequent pauses to breathe but when Alfred was sure I was finished he was very quiet. His eyes were closed and his hold on me was tight and protective. He was so quiet that I started to get worried.
He suddenly snapped at France.
"You leave now or I'll kill you."
"You heard me you bastard! GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!!"
Alfred's voice boomed and I flinched from the volume of it. His hold on me tightened as he yelled the last three words and I felt scared but the most protected I ever had at the same time.
France must have caught the hint since he ran past Alfred and right out the door without another word. As soon as the front door slammed shut and France was gone, the anger was gone from Alfred's face and he started bawling. He buried his face into my shoulder and let out loud sobs. I was starting to regain my strength and raised a hand to his hair and started to stroke it.
"Matthew I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! It's my fault! I wasn't here for you! I promised I wouldn't let him hurt you ever again and…I'm sorry!"
"Alfred it isn't your fault. This isn't your fault."
"But I promised you I wouldn't let him get to you again… I wasn't here to save you."
"I'm alright Alfred. I feel fine, my head just hurts a little that's all."
"You should look in a mirror Matthew…"
"You've got a big red mark on your cheek and bruises all over your arms… it's killing me actually."
I looked at my arm and sure enough it was splattered with bruises. It was especially dark around my wrists where France held them behind my back.
"They don't hurt…"
"Matthew you don't need to lie."
"I'm not lying. I only have a head ache but that's about it." I smiled at him and my face burned from where France had shoved it onto the carpet. Okay so maybe it did hurt like hell but Alfred didn't need to know right?
"...That was probably my fault huh? I heard you screaming and yelling and I got so scared and I just flew through the door without thinking."
"It's alright, I'm fine."
"Did… did he... you know…?"
I smiled at him and shook my head.
"I wouldn't let him. I hit him a lot."
Alfred's face went from scared to shocked to relieved to happy.
"You socked him? Well judging by the marks on his face you did but how hard?!"
"Hard. I realized you wouldn't always be here and I needed to stick up for myself. I wanted to be brave… I was fed up."
Alfred smiled at me and held me close to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and returned his tight embrace. I felt safe and protected again. I also felt so much love that it was almost unbelievable. We sat there for a very long time just holding each other. I lost track of time after a while. It didn't matter to me how much time had passed. I was perfectly happy in his arms.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Alfred asked me softly and out of the blue.
"I'm fine… as long as I have you."
I could feel his smile and I was sure he could have felt mine.
"I love you Matthew."
"I love you too Alfred."
Life is peaceful now.
It's fun and happy and full of love.
It's very pleasurable to wake up to a new day this happy.
And waking up to the person I love may help matters as well.
I used to just float through the week quietly and uneventful.
I figured each day was the same as the last.
That definitely changed now.
I look forward to each day with a bright smile, a brave heart,
And Alfred's hand clasped around mine lovingly.
And that's all I can really ask for.
I can't believe this is over! I got so attached to these characters!!! I love you guys! Thank you so much for all the kind and thoughtful words!!!