Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Naruto.
Author's notes: This is what happens when I try to think at 7 AM on a Saturday, lol. Enjoy.
Naruto always wondered what was in that book that Kakashi always carried around. The title was Makeout Paradise, so it had to be juicy didn't it? The blonde made it a mission to find out exactly what was so great that the silver-haired shinobi needed to take the book with him everywhere.
It was a complete failure. Kakashi literally carried the book with him everywhere. Hell, he even probably took it into the shower with him. Point is, Naruto never saw the book leave his hands, and he could never find an instant where he could just snatch it. It was like his sensei guarded the dumb thing with his life.
The hyperactive ninja even got so desperate as to enlist Sasuke's help. Sasuke agreed to distract their sensei while Naruto grabbed the book. It didn't work. Kakashi didn't put the book down, instead, he stuffed it into his pocket where Naruto definitely couldn't get at it.
So Sasuke couldn't help him, and he was too afraid that Sakura would kill him if he asked her to help him take a peek at the inappropriate book.
There was one last chance.
Naruto glanced around Kakashi's bedroom nervously. He broke into his sensei's house and was deathly afraid that the silver-haired shinobi would catch him there. A fleeting glance around the room spotted the bright orange book. Naruto ran over to the book eagerly.
This was the moment of truth.
Naruto slowly opened the book…
WHAT THE FUCK? A SCRIPT TO THE SHOW NARUTO?
Kakashi suddenly appeared next to Naruto with murderous intent in his eyes. "What the hell are you doing with my book?!"
The blonde paled. "Uh, sensei, I wasn't doing-"
"So what if I always forget my lines?!? It's only because I always have to be damn nice to you three brats when I just want to pummel you guys to death! Why should I have to be nice to you three twerps when any normal person would rather kill you instead?! Sasuke has a superiority complex and is so loco that he's trying to run around and kill his brother! Half the time I'm scared shitless because I think he's going to snap and try to kill ME! Then he treats everyone like shit because he's an UCHIHA AND THINKS EVERYONE IS BELOW HIM! I don't know where the fuck he got that idea. You are just annoying like hell! Do you know how many times anyone can listening to you say 'I'M GOING TO BE HOKAGE!' and 'BELIEVE IT!' before they want to repeatedly bang their head against the wall?! And the whole ramen thing has GOT TO STOP! Like how the hell are you still here, when you eat ramen and only ramen ALL THE TIME?! And don't get me started on Sakura. I mean, seriously, doesn't she have eyes?! GET A LIFE, HE DOESN'T WANT YOU! And what's with her pink hair?! It's not natural I tell you! I SWEAR I got the worst team in all of Konoha! But everyone just goes 'Oh, Kakashi, you have such a great team!'. I mean what the fuck were the producers thinking? They stuck me with a homicidal maniac, a useless kunoichi with pink hair, and YOU! I'm starting to think that just hate my guts to have me be around such dysfunctional people ALL THE TIME!"
Naruto backed away slowly. "Uh, sensei, I have no clue what you're talking about right now…"
The silver-haired shinobi turned to Naruto and cackled evilly. "Oh my god. And in about five minutes the show is going to end and we're off the air. So I can beat the crap out of you without anyone knowing anything!" He cracked his knuckles and glared angrily at his student.
The hyperactive ninja wet his pants.
Shit, curiosity really does kill the cat.