AN: Some profanity in this one (sorry, Mom).
Thanks as always to my awesome readers and my brilliant beta, CalleighAryn!
Seeley Booth had never eavesdropped on someone else's conversation while eating alone at the diner; usually he was too busy thinking about the case at hand or the pie in front of him to even notice the other diners. But the day he heard a man sitting at the table behind him ask his companion if he was still "dating that anthropologist from the Jeffersonian"--well, Booth had no choice but to clear his mind of all other thoughts and listen.
"Not anymore," was the dejected reply.
"She dumped you, huh?"
Don't take it personally; Bones has a hard time with relationships.You would too if your family abandoned you as a teenager. It's a shame her dad is old and on his best behavior because sometimes I really want to kick his ass for that.
"No, I dumped her."
You dumped Bones?! You've got to be an idiot to let her go…like Sully was. Who names a boat after someone and then sails away without them? But maybe you're not even talking about Bones. She isn't the only female anthropologist at the Jeffersonian…and there are all those squints-in-training running amok….
"Why?" The Idiot's friend asked, sounding incredulous. "She was HOT!"
Bones is hot. No, not hot. Beautiful. Even when she's wading through the most disgusting stuff I've ever seen to get to her bones, she's still the most beautiful woman I've ever known.
"Very hot, but a little weird. Like on our first date, when I took her to this nice Italian restaurant and then we saw 'Twilight', she--"
Wow, dinner and a movie. How creative of you.
"Is that the one with the high school girl who falls in love with the spiky-haired vampire who doesn't kill people?" His friend interrupted.
A spiky-haired vampire who doesn't kill people? Sounds ridiculous! Everyone knows that vampires are merciless, bloodsucking creatures of the night. They don't fall in love with high school girls and they never, ever buy hair gel.
"…That's the one. I picked it because I heard that women thought it was romantic. But she didn't think so…."
Bones isn't like most women. That doesn't make her 'weird', it makes her special.
"…The whole ride home she kept talking about how absurd it is that people actually believe in vampires because no organism can live forever, but even if it were possible, it would be unethical to prolong your own survival by feeding on the blood of another, and blah, blah, blah…"
Booth laughed to himself. No doubt about it now--you're definitely talking about my partner.
"…She was always going on and on about all this science and nature stuff--I wasn't even sure what she was saying half the time-- but whenever I tried to have a conversation with her about anything normal, she was completely clueless. It was like she was living under a rock or something."
Not under a rock, in a lab. So she doesn't know what's on television, or which celebrities are dating each other, or what the latest slang is--does any of that crap really matter? She can tell how a person lived and died just by looking at their bones AND use that knowledge to catch a killer. Can YOU do that, jackass?
"So you dumped her because she was too smart for you," The Idiot's friend said in a teasing tone.
What a loser. Clearly you didn't deserve to date her in the first place.
"No, that wasn't why!" The Idiot sounded defensive. "I was willing to overlook her quirks because she had some good qualities…very good qualities…," he added suggestively.
You start talking about my partner as if she's just a sex object and I may have to shoot you. It wouldn't be the first time I'd shot a clown.
"…But it became obvious that I wasn't the only man in her life."
So you weren't enough for her, huh? Shocker!
"So you caught her with someone," the friend surmised, sounding sympathetic. "When I was in college, I walked in on my girlfriend and my roommate…on MY bed. I had the bottom bunk, and apparently the lovebirds couldn't be bothered to climb the ladder…"
"….and she wasn't even sorry about it. She said that the two of them bonded because she spent so much time in the room waiting around for me…like it was my fault the fucking bitch cheated!"
Hey, watch your language--there could be kids in here! Booth looked around the diner. Okay, there aren't, but there might have been.
"That sucks," The Idiot said, "but I never actually caught her in bed with someone."
"Oh." His friend sounded disappointed that he had told an embarrassing story for nothing. "So what happened then?"
Yeah, what happened? How did you know there was another man in her life? Who was it?
"Well, she liked role-playing…you know, in bed…"
Right. She told me that when we were doing the crazy horse fetish case. Those people were sick.
"…She wanted to do scenes from her books. She would be her anthropologist character--which I guess isn't really role-playing, considering she is an anthropologist-- and I would be her brave, handsome FBI agent partner…"
Whoa, you were role-playing as Kathy and Andy…who are obviously based on Bones and me? That's just WRONG!
"…This one time we pretended we had just caught this evil murderer and put him behind bars, so we were getting it on in the back of a police car…"
Not that scene! That's one of my favorites. If I read it right before I go to bed, I have the most wonderful dreams.
"…and everything was going great…really great…she was unbelievably amazing…"
That's so unfair. I can't be with another woman without feeling like I'm betraying Bones, but she has no problem playing her little games with any guy she wants.
"…but when she climaxed she said 'Booth'."
WHAT?! She said my name? Holy shit, Bones thinks of me during sex! Does that mean that she wants me as much as I-- wait a minute, let's not get carried away here. This guy was pretending to be Andy, and Andy is based on me, so it could have been just a slip of the tongue.
"Booth?" His friend repeated. "As in a table in a restaurant?"
Or as in a real life FBI agent.
The Idiot laughed. "Yeah, but I really doubt she was screaming about a restaurant booth…"
Screaming?! I've fantasized…once or twice…about her screaming "Booth" or "Seeley" or "Oh God, Seeley Booth, you're the best lover I've ever had", but I didn't think it could really happen!
"…She wouldn't say anything about it, but 'Booth' has to be a guy's name…"
Excellent detective work there, Sherlock.
"…I've called out my ex's name in bed before, so I let it slide the first time…but it happened THREE more times. I even heard her say it in her sleep."
Three more times? That's not a slip of the tongue, that's a pattern. And she said my name in her sleep too! She must be dreaming about me just like I dream about her. Bones wants me! There were times I thought I saw desire in her eyes, but I'd convinced myself that I was imagining it; I couldn't believe that she'd really want someone like me. But we're still partners and there's a line and--oh, fuck the line. BONES WANTS ME!
"So let me get this straight--you dumped a hot chick who, in your own words, was 'unbelievably amazing' in bed, just because she wasn't screaming your name in ecstasy?" His friend laughed. "You're an idiot! Call her up and say you're sorry and you miss her and you want to give it another try. If you keep at her, you might be able to steal her away from this Booth guy someday."
"NO!" Booth shouted.
"Excuse me?" The Idiot said.
I guess I said that out loud. Well, now that they know I've been listening to them, I may as well go over there. When Booth stood up and walked to the table behind him, he saw two attractive, well dressed men in their thirties. One of them bore a slight resemblance to himself. She even picked someone who almost looks like me! "Sorry, guys, I…uh… couldn't help overhearing some of your conversation. I didn't mean to intrude, but since I already have, I'm going to suggest that you"--he addressed the man who looked like him--"don't call your ex-girlfriend. Life is too short to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want you. You might have some fun times together, but it's nothing compared to a true partnership…to a true love."
Both men were slightly unnerved by the intensity in Booth's eyes and voice. "I suppose you've found your true love then?" The Idiot said with a nervous chuckle.
Booth grinned as his mind conjured up memories of Brennan holding his hand while they ice skated, telling him he was made of good stuff…her dancing to "Hot Blooded" …singing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"...fixing his back…embracing him after his fight in Vegas…saving him from the Gravedigger…kissing him on the cheek…kissing him on the lips under the mistletoe. "Yes, I have." He turned away from the men and headed for the door. And I'm going to go kiss her right now.
Thanks for reading! All comments are greatly appreciated.