Chapter 26: I'm Kissing You
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I only own the ideas that create this story.
A/N: Why, hello, gorgeous people! Yes, we're back with another chapter so thank you for tuning in! As always, thank you for the favorite story/author alerts, story/author alerts, and all the reviews! I must say I enjoyed the amount of reviews I received. I won't keep you guys any longer…
I stared at the ceiling, willing the spider above my head to move an inch but it never did. It was as if time stood still. These past four weeks have caused my brain to go into overdrive and to shut down all at the same time. Everyday I woke up and played that day leading up to the accident in my mind, trying to think of a way we could have prevented it all from happening but I always came up with nothing. Regardless, it was still so surreal to me.
My hand automatically started to drift to the other side of the bed and when I looked over, he was there. Edward was right beside me, like he should be, like he always would be. I watched him sleeping, taking all of him in. He was still so perfect; every part of him seemed to be untouched, except for the few scrapes and bruises that were fading. I couldn't take it anymore and reached my hand out to stroke his cheek. I loved his cheekbones and the slight stubble that was on his jawline. When my hand made it to his cheek, it went right through and hit the pillow. I shut my eyes, willing him to be there again but he wasn't.
I grabbed his pillow and held it to my chest to breathe him in. I listened downstairs to the small commotion of pots and pans being banged around and a few voices, willing them all to go away so I could have my time with Edward. Then I heard a knock on my door, "Bella?"
I looked up and saw Emmett standing in the doorway. I didn't say anything; I physically couldn't, so settled for just nodding to him. My voice was probably so raspy because I had hardly talked to anyone since the funeral; even the small nod took a lot of energy. Emmett came to the bed and sat down gently beside me. "How you feeling?"
How do you think I'm feeling? This was the question I hated the most. After a tragedy, everyone asked how you were feeling. I chose not to say anything because if I did, I'd probably scream at him. I mean, how did they think I would feel? Did they think I would be okay? That was impossibility. I wasn't okay by any means. I just lost the man I love forever and there was no way to get him back. I settled for a shrug. Indifference was the best I would give him.
He looked at me, waiting for me to say something but when I didn't he took over the conversation, "So, we finally got rid of all that food that's been in your fridge forever! And let me tell you, it was nasty! I'm sure that one container was supposed to be macaroni and cheese but when we looked at it, it looked more like cottage cheese with some mold on it. Totally just saved you some foods poisoning… you're welcome."
He chuckled and smiled at me, I knew he was trying to make me laugh and I wanted to but I just couldn't. I hadn't smiled in weeks and I was beginning to think I'd forget how to smile. Emmett's smile quickly faltered when he saw I had no emotions.
He finally spoke when I made eye contact with him, "Look, Bella. I know how you're feeling, trust me. We've all lost someone we love. I lost one of my best friends," his voice started shaking and I knew I should comfort him, but I couldn't even comfort myself, "and it sucks and it hurts. I understand we all deal with it in different ways and we'll all heal at different times but it's been weeks and you've been so aloof lately. No one can get to you. You won't talk, you won't eat, and you've lost so much weight." He gestured toward me and I could only imagine how I looked to an outsider but no one could possibly understand what I was going through.
"Bella, we all care about you. Rosie, Pixie, Jasper and I, we all love you and we don't want to lose you too."
He wrapped his arms around me "Just take care of yourself for us. You know Edward wouldn't want you to be like this."
That was it. I broke down and wrapped my arms around his neck just at the mention of his name. I sobbed into his shoulder, knowing he was right. Edward wouldn't want me to stop living my life but I just couldn't do anything else except wish he were here.
I heard the footsteps running frantically on the stairs before I saw anyone, "Oh my God! What happened? Is she okay?" Alice burst through the door and made her way to Emmett and I.
"I think she's okay. She just kind of started crying." I let go of him and fell back on the bed. I hadn't cried in weeks because I just felt so numb. I really wasn't doing much of anything except showering and crawling into bed.
"Alice, do you want to handle this? I'm not quite sure what to do right now…"
"It's alright, Emmett. I got it from here." I heard Emmett leave the room and felt Alice's weight lie down next to me.
"Bells, it'll be okay. We're all here for you." I don't know how much time passed before the tears finally stopped. Somewhere in that time Rose came to lie down with Alice and I. They took turns telling me it was going to be okay and that they were here for me. It was nice to hear, but they didn't know. They would never understand what I was going through and they would never be who I wanted them to be. I just needed one person to be okay again and he wasn't coming back. Edward would never be with me again. Sadly, at this realization, reality was finally starting to kick in.
A/N: Short and sweet? Yes. Why? Because this story is going to be ending soon [Insert gasps here] Yes! It's true this next update will probably be the very last one so be prepared for a long concluding A/N. The song used for this chapter was "I'm Kissing You," by Des'Ree. I did a routine to this song in a dance class and fell in love with it. Fun fact: it was also used in the version of "Romeo & Juliet" with Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes. Alright, dears, let me hear what you all think about this. Till we meet again!