Dancing Fools 2
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana, Leon/Crisis, and Lance/Diablos.
Chapter 1: It All Begins Again!
Captain America asked,
"Now, why are we here again?"
Iron Man shrugged,
"Beats me. He hasn't really used us all that much. I mean, Steve, you're dead in the story, and Tigra, Sentry, Miss Marvel, Ares, and Wonder Man are in that DC universe."
The author entered with Farrah,
Miss Marvel groaned,
"Please tell me this isn't another one of your parodies on Dancing with the Stars, is it?"
"Got it in one, Barbie. Which; is surprising, considering it takes about four or five tries for you to get it right."
Miss Marvel scowled,
"What does Lance see in you? I mean, with Leon, I can understand that. But, Lance? What is it with you and him, anyway?"
Farrah seductively moved her tail,
"I can't help it if I'm irresistible."
"Hey, Farrah. How's things?"
"Fine. Just putting up with the insanity my boss puts everyone else through."
That's right. By now, you probably know about the little project I did with the Justice League some time ago.
Miss Marvel grumbled,
"I didn't forget. Farrah threw a bucket of pig's blood on me!"
"Not to mention the cat-fights."
Yellow Jacket said,
"So, you want us to do another Dancing with the Stars Parody, involving us, right?"
And they say blondes are the dumb ones.
"Are you always so mean to everyone?"
Truth hurts, Lady Bug. Now, here's how this is gonna go down. As usual, Farrah and I are going to host this new season of my reality show; Dancing Fools: Avengers Edition!
Wasp raised hand,
"Isn't ABC going to sue you for something like this?"
No, I stuck Lex with it. He's the one in litigation. I swear, he was easier to trick than Catman.
Firebird raised her hand,
"Who is Catman?"
"Love struck villain in the DC world I torture on a regular basis."
Catman, outside, was shouting through a megaphone,
"Goddess! Come be with me!"
Farrah looked over to the author,
"Do you mind if I take care of something while you go down the list of couples?"
Sure. Can you at least tape what you're going to do to him this time?
Farrah carried a camera,
All right, now to go down the list of couples. First up, Hawkeye and Black Widow.
Black Widow nodded,
Farrah screamed off camera,
"CATMAN! QUIT FOLLOWING ME AROUND!"
The sounds of a chain saw could be heard. Catman yelled off camera,
"Goddess, wait! I only wish for us to have kittens!"
"DIE! I'M GONNA CHOP YOU INTO TINY, BITE SIZED BITS FOR THIS, CATMAN!"
Hey, do you think if Farrah kills Catman, she can claim it was justifiable homicide?
"What did he do to deserve Farrah's wrath?"
Have you been reading any of my works?
Hawkeye said dryly,
"No, we have a life."
He got shot with a bean bag,
Let's go further down the list.
Farrah returned at that moment,
Hank Pym, you and Firebird are being paired up.
"Excuse me, he's my husband."
She got hit with a fly swatter,
Farrah innocently remarked,
"Why, Janet? Whatever are you talking about?"
In case you didn't know, Lady bug, you died in the mainstream Marvel universe. Sucks to be you, don't it?
"Well, will I at least get paired up with someone?"
Yeah, Iron Man.
Iron Man smirked,
"This brings back memories."
Yeah, weren't you two sleeping with each other when Bumblebee over there was in the big house?
Yellow Jacket got angry,
"Don't remind me."
Wasn't she carrying his child?
Janet was horrified,
Just a rumor I heard, that's all. Yeah, a rumor.
The author shifted his eyes. Farrah rolled her eyes,
"Let's keep going. Scarlet Witch, you're dancing with Vision."
Scarlet Witch said,
"Big surprise there."
Wonder Man, you're dancing with-.
"Wrong, ladies. Simon's dancing with me!"
Zatanna appeared in a puff of smoke,
"It's gonna be me, ladies."
"Not on your life, bitch!"
She tackled Zatanna, a cat-fight erupting. Hawkeye grinned,
"Holy crap! Look at them go!"
Captain America shook his head,
"This is definitely not civilized behavior."
All right, break it up, all of you.
The author fired a shotgun in the air and there was instant silence.
Now that we have order around here, Simon, you're dancing with…Miss Marvel.
Vixen was shocked,
"What did she do to deserve this?"
She's sleeping with him in the mainstream Marvel Universe. Here's an issue of Miss Marvel.
The author handed over the issue. Zatanna gasped,
"How dare she take my man away like that!"
The four turned to Miss Marvel. Miss Marvel groaned,
"I hate you, Persiana13."
She got tackled, all four women in love with Simon going to claw at Miss Marvel.
And women say men have a hard time controlling their hormones.
A chandelier fell on the women, knocking them all out.
Huh, I was wondering when that was going to happen.
"Let's continue, shall we? Sersi, you're getting paired up with someone I know you'll like."
"Is it your boyfriend Lance?"
"TOUCH HIM AND YOU DIE!"
She calmed down,
"No, he's coming in now."
"Persiana13, did you want to talk to me?"
Immediately, he got tackled by Sersi,
Sersi had hearts in her eyes and floating around her head,
"Hello, handsome! Let's party!"
Farrah, I know you suggested that one, but was it really necessary to have Superman back after what happened the last time?
"Oh, come on. I told Lois her husband was called away on a business trip. Don't worry, she won't watch the show."
Yeah, I have to remember to keep the cameras on this time. Finally, our last couple for this competition is-.
Hippolyta entered with Donna and Diana,
"Persiana13! I want a word with you!"
Oh, great. It's the bitch queen of the Amazons again. You still haven't forgiven me for what I did to Donna, have you?
Donna rolled her eyes,
"I told my mother that what Roy did was an essential part of the dance. I gave him my permission to place his hands there."
"I want you to know that I do not tolerate any sort of behavior like I saw with the dances with my daughters. They had better not be a part of something like that again."
Hippie, you don't have to worry. They aren't involved in this competition. However…you are.
Hippolyta was surprised,
"What? Since when?"
Since now. You and Captain America are the final couple.
"Nice knowin' ya, Steve."
Cap shook his head,
"Well, if it's all right with the lady…"
Hippolyta turned and gazed at sight of Cap. Little hearts floated all around her,
"I WANT YOUR BABIES!"
Diana was stunned,
She saw Hippolyta chase after Cap. Cap screamed,
"Help! Keep her away from me!"
He ran off camera. Hippolyta was in hot pursuit,
"Come back here, Adonis! I wish for you to partake in what I have to offer to you!"
She went off camera. Donna smiled,
"It looks like Mother has finally found a man in her life again, and it is not Hercules."
"What's wrong with me?"
The author counted on his fingers,
Let's see; you drink, you break things when you're drunk, you get your ass kicked by Thor, the Hulk, the Thing…
Hercules clenched his fists,
A brawl broke out.
Great, another mess to clean up. Well, while we clean that up, we'll meet our judges in the next exciting chapter of Dancing Fools 2: Dance of Doom!
Yellow Jacket asked,
"People are actually reading this?"
He got hit with a fly swatter,
Meet the Judges, and more brawling!