Thinking of You – songfic

Author's note: Characters aren't mine in any way, shape or form. Neither is the song – that belongs to Katy Perry. I HATE this idea, but it wouldn't get out of my brain. I have only recently discovered Tin Man and the awesome fanfiction being written about it. I hope I do it justice. I am a die-hard DG/Cain shipper, but that isn't what this is – so turn back, turn back while you still can =) Let me know what you think!

DG thought that maybe she was slowly going to die. The stress of lying to herself, of lying to them, was really getting to her. She was constantly going back and forth.

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed

He never seemed to live up to her expectations. But then her expectations of him were never really fair. Or realistic even. How could anything compare to that perfect first kiss she'd shared with Cain. She had reached for the eldest Cain, so how was she lying with his son?

You said move on, where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know

How could things go from perfect to excruciating in the blink of an eye. One quick, "We can't, you need to move on and find yourself someone more suitable." from Cain. That's all it took to send her running for a dark hole to hide in. To sob in. The gentle hand on her shoulder had her turning with hopeful eyes, searching for Cain. Only the Cain with comfort in his eyes wasn't the one she really wanted.

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes

DG could only stare into Jeb's compassionate eyes, feeling her straingth seep out of her as his thumbs wiped her tears away. Her hands, seemingly with a will of their own, reached around his waist and held on as though he was what kept her from melting through the floor. All she could think was, "Why didn't he come."

You're like an Indian summer in the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I've had the best?
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test

Flashes of her past few weeks in the O.Z. Her time with Cain flitting through her mind. She remembered the horrible cold of the Northern Island and how his hand on her arm had burned. How his gaze had warmed her to her core. She thought of how she had found him surrounded by metal, only to discover the shell around his heart was protecting the most gentle, passionate, protective and hurting man she had ever known.

But soon her thoughts went to the conversation she had just run away from. He seemed so mad at her when she tried to share her feelings with him, having convinced herself that he felt the same way. The rediculous Ozian saying that she stupidly took several minutes to pry out of him its meaning – only to realize it roughly translated to "other fish in the sea." He couldn't have torn her more apart if he had been a Great White Shark that had just moved in for the kill.

He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!
(Taste your mouth)
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself

The whole time she was replaying her short "relationship" (HA! her mind thought) with Cain, she was leading his son by the hand to her suite of rooms. The minute they got inside he pressed her up against the closed door and kissed her gently, tentatively. She was still thinking of Cain, imagining her kiss with him, the taste of his toungue.

As Jeb put his arms around her waist and pulled her hips against his already prominent errection, DG gave in, supressing the urdge to vomit as she reallized what she was doing to this poor young boy.

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into

You're the best, and yes, I do regret
How I could let myself let you go
Now, now the lesson's learned
I touched it, I was burned
Oh, I think you should know!

The sex was frenzied and raw. DG poured out all her pain, and she hoped Jeb was doing the same. Prayed she wasn't the only one doing the using. The only one taking. Cain was in her thoughts the entire time and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out the father's name as the son pushed her over the edge and into a violent orgasm.

She had tried to tell Cain, he was the best man she had ever known, on either side of the rainbow. She had tried to explain that she had never felt anything like the way she felt for him. Had never experienced such physical reactions to simple glances and casual contact. Had tried to show him that she couldn't hold her feelings back anymore.

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you
(Thinking of you, thinking of you)
Thinking of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spending the night
(Spending the night, spending the night)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your, your eyes
Looking into your eyes, looking into your eyes

In the aftermath of their coupling, DG stared into the wrong Cain's eyes, wondering what the right Cain would do in this moment. That stray thought led to another, wondering where he was right now. What he was doing. He was still her bodyguard afterall. His room was only two floors below her. Would she be able to look him in the eye? Would he know? Would he care?

Oh, won't you walk through?
And bust in the door and take me away?
Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay

She found herself flicking her gaze to the doorknob next to her hip. Wishing it would turn. Praying it wouldn't. Her thoughts spiriting back and forth. Wanting him to break down the door and demand to know what was going on. Hoping he wasn't within hearing distance of what she had just done.

As Jeb pulled away, she felt cold. Even colder than before he found her. She looked him in the eye as he tried to look away, catching his gaze. Trying to show Jeb that the recrimination she felt wasn't for him, but for herself. Breaking the gaze, Jeb zipped his pants and fastened his belt. She turned the knob and pulled the door open so that he could pass through.

Closing the door, DG looked up at the sound of Jeb's rough voice mumbling an excuse me. Caught by the pained look of the eyes she had been praying for all evening, she found she couldn't push the door the 3 inches she needed to hide from him. As he took a step forward, her body finally took her command and closed the barrier between her and Cain.

Sinking to the floor, the sobs started before she'd even completed the motion. Huge wracking sobs of greif and loss for something she didn't even have in the first place. Leaning into the strong door, her hand pressed to it as though searching for him through the thick wood.

On the other side, Cain slowly crouched down, his hand pressing to the smooth surface of the princess' door.

His shock at seeing his toussled son coming out of DG's bedroom was only multiplied when he had seen her eyes – once so full of life and love for him – now empty, dark. Had he only kissed her an hour ago? As he took a step toward her, the door closed completely. He was only 3 feet away when he heard the keening, gutteral wail DG loosed before her sobs began.

Moments later, with his hand pressed to the door, he could only think, "What have I done."