So my friend and I were talking about the 'Boot to the head' scene from the Frantics but at the same time I was busy writing some other Mai-HiME fanfic. So I cracked up and eventually got the idea to write this...
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Mai-HiME or The Frantics
As everyone gathered in the room, advocate Tate Yuuichi started to speak, "As the executor of Ms. Yuuki's Estate I have been empowered to read Ms. Yuuki's last will and testament."
"Well, get on with it! The bar's open soon!" Midori butted in.
While Shizuru burst out in tears, "Oh poor dear Nao!" (A/N: I had the urge to put in an 'ara' in here but I thought it would be better if I let it out)
"Oh there, there Shizuru", Natsuki tried to comfort her.
Reito lazily leaned his head on his hand and sighed, "God, how predictably boring…"
"I never worked for a kinder woman", Mai exclaimed. (A/N: XXD Nao and kind, what a laugh!)
Tate shook his head and cleared his throat, "If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading."
"I knew it", Reito whined.
Midori chuckled as Tate read out loud, "I, Nao Juliet Yuuki, being of sound, mind and body…"
"That's a laugh", Midori stated as she began to laugh.
Ignoring Midori, Tate continued, "...do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows: To my overly emotional sister, Shizuru"
And with that Shizuru burst out in tears again while Natsuki desperately tried to comfort her again, "Shizuru darling, he's talking about us..."
Tate mentally slapped his forehead, "… who grubbed with her wife Natsuki, grubbed for everything I had and then cried crocodile-tears when I needed sympathy, to Shizuru I leave… A boot to the head."
"A what?" Shizuru asked as she got hit in the head with a big black boot, "Ow!"
"Shizuru are you okay?!" Natsuki immediately asked.
"And another boot to her wimpy wife Natsuki." Another boot flew through the air, hitting Natsuki in the head. "Ow!"
Midori laughed at the scene as Shizuru started to yell, "This is an outrage!"
Ignoring Shizuru's statement, Tate continued to read, "Ah but still, you are my sister, you both have admired my Rolls Royce and since I no longer need it..." Tate paused for a moment while Shizuru said, "Oh dear Nao, she's too kind!"
Tate bit back a laugh as he continued, "…I bequeath another boot to the head."
"What?!" Shizuru yelled again as she got hit in the head by a boot again. "Ow!" Much to Midori's amusement who began to laugh again.
"And one more for the wimp" Tate said as Natsuki too, got hit in the head by a boot again, "Ow!"
"Next to my alcoholic sister…"
"Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!" Midori quickly replied. "To dear Midori, who's never worked a day in her drunken life…" Midori covered her head with her arms, "I'm covering up my head!"
"…I leave my wine-cellar and three crates of my finest whiskey."
"Really?" Midori asked with sparkling eyes while dropping her arms beside her. "And a boot to the head." Another boot flew through the air hitting Midori square in the face, "Ow!"
"And another for Shizuru and the wimp," Two boots flew through the air.
"Next to my know-it-all-nephew, Reito…"
"This is so predictable…" Reito whined again.
"…I leave a boot to the head." With that Reito was hit in the head by a boot, "Ugh… I knew it."
"And one for Shizuru and the wimp" Two soft thuds were heard followed by two short yelps.
Tate stopped for a moment before starting again, "This takes care of family obligations… And now to Mrs. Tokiha …"
"Oh, uh, I don't want nothing", Mai replied nervously. "…Who took care of me faithfully these many, many years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea…" Mai smiled, "Oh I didn't mind."
"To Mrs. Tokiha, I bequeath… A boot to the head" And so Mai got hit in the head by a boot. "Ooh!
"And one for Shizuru and the wimp" Tate said with a hint of amusement in his voice as Shizuru and Natsuki got hit in the head with a boot again.
"And so to my cat, Mikoto, I leave my entire vast… Boot to the head!" The poor cat was hit by a big boot, "Meoooeeewwwoooeerroooww!!!" (A/N: This was the best way I could describe the sound)
Tate started to grin as he read the next part, his voice swelling with pride, "And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head… " His grin disappeared as he read the next part, "But a rabid Tasmanian devil to be placed in his trousers?!" A growl was heard, " ..Ooh! Oh ah ah ah! And I leave my entire vast estate of ten million dollars to the people of Calgary so they can afford to move somewhere decent!" Tate ended, panting like he just ran a marathon.
"Is that it?" Natsuki asked as Reito whined, "That's it?"
"That's disgraceful!" Midori yelled.
Tate waited until everybody was silent and shook his head, "There's one last thing for everyone…" Midori immediately covered her head again as she said, "Cover your heads everybody!" Tate rolled his eyes, "I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice-cream."
"Ice-cream?" Natsuki asked while Midori repeated the question, "Ice-cream?"
"Ice-cream, that's all?" Reito asked in a whiney voice.
Tate nodded, "That's all."
"Well, what flavor is it?" Mai quickly asked. Tate frowned and answered, "Boot to the head."
And with that everyone in the room got hit by a boot again.
Note: No Mikoto's or boots were harmed in the making of this
Anywho, I hope you enjoyed! R&R pwease!