Disclaimer: don't own the G-boys, never did and never will but its nice to play with them once in awhile. Nor do I own Type O Negative but would love to own Peter Steele's body ^_^. No need for intros for the fic cause it pretty much explains itself.
Songfic: World Coming Down
Sung by: Type O Negative
Album: World Coming Down
Character: Heero's POV
World Coming Down
(She thinks I'm iron man, that I don't feel pain)
Ha! Relena I'm sure she thinks of me as robot, I just keep fighting and never seem to die or have any feelings for the damage that I do. I can only hold this pain in me for a little while longer; it hurts like hell trying to hold back. but I'm Heero Yuy, the perfect soldier.
(I don't understand why joy must be feigned)
I don't know why Relena pretends to be happy to see me, I just know its a mask she's hiding, a mask of self pity towards me. I sure as hell don't need any pity . Why does Relena keep tracking me down? Does she really want to die?
(I'm so fortunate yet filled with self-hate)
Maybe its just plain luck for not being able to bring myself to pull the trigger on her, its like I'm supposed to protect her from any harm. I'm supposed to be Heero Yuy, the perfect soldier, and I can't kill a measly girl who saw me. What is wrong with me, why can't I do it?
(That the mirror shows me an ingrate)
How can I be a perfect soldier? I killed the Alliance's leaders by accident, how did I fuck that one up? I'm ungrateful to even be around Relena, she'd be better off pulling the trigger on me instead.
(I could easily start pointing fingers)
I can always try and blame Dr.J and whoever else made me what I am, but I'm not like that. I understand why they did the things they did.
(Since the blame is mine, it always lingers)
It's pretty much my fault for all the chaos around here. As much as any normal person would try to find fault with someone else's mistakes, I can't blame anybody but myself. I put myself in the predicament I'm in now; nobody forced me to be where I am.
(That the truth it lies in my reflection, though this can't go on, there's no question)
How can I stand it, to be able to look at myself and not think differently about me? What am I doing to myself? This is for me to carry out my mission and only my mission right? But yet something deep inside me is trying to get me to feel and have emotions. Is this what I want? I can't be the heartless bastard for the rest of my life, can I?
(Yeah I know that my world is coming down)
So much death and destruction that we've caused in this war. I need to gain control over my mind before I lose it all. Just how much can one person take?
(Yeah I know I'm the one who brought it down, brought it down, bring it all down)
Everything is crumbling at my feet just like my mind and soul. Was I the one that caused all this destruction? Why are we the ones being punished for wanting peace?
(How quickly pass the days, long is the night)
I try to distract my mind from thinking about this war and death that goes on around me that we cause. Another day goes by and night falls on me silently, the only time that I feel content with myself. Oh how I dread the coming of the next day.
(Lying in bed awake, bathed in starlight)
Sleep is the thing I miss the most since this war started. Nothing but nightmares of death and battle haunt my dreams. Looking up at the stars makes me wish that I could be one of them, just sitting up there in space with no one to bother me. Never having to answer to anyone but myself.
(Better to live as king of beasts than a lamb scared and weak)
The only way to survive this war with myself and with Oz is to be or act indestructible, showing no fear as I face death everyday. If I let my guard down now, I'm surely to be killed in an instant. Heero Yuy, the perfect soldier, will never try to show any signs of weakness. I don't even know what feeling weak is like. Do I really want to know?
(I will deny my role as a human)
I am a highly trained and skilled soldier. I never really considered myself human from the start. I don't deserve the title of being a human. No such human would do such destruction like what we've done in battle, more or less me. I am one with my machine, carrying out my missions and destroy all obstacles. This is definitely not a sign of your average sane human mind who would carry out such duties. To err is human. Even Duo knows that no human being could withstand the power and effect of the Zero System. That only goes to prove that I'm not human.
(Holding myself hostage with no demands)
I ask nothing from anybody, well trying to achieve peace but that is all. I can't seem to free my mind with all the chaos around me. I want to only try and find myself without anybody's help. Find my peace of mind, who are they to say that I can't be one with myself?
(It's better to burn quickly and bright than slowly and dull without a fight)
I'd rather go down in battle knowing that I fought for something that I believed in. Not to die in vain would be Duo's choice of words so maybe he's right. I would rather die an honorable death knowing that ,Heero Yuy ,the perfect soldier is no longer perfect. We all have our flaws in battle and to give up your heart and soul is a way to destroy man and machine. I do not want to go down without knowing I had a chance to make a better life for Relena and the rest of human kind.
(Yeah I know that my world is coming down
Yeah I know I'm the one who brought it down, brought it down, bring it all down)