Ramen Doodles

By Andrew J. Talon

Disclaimer: I do not and probably never will own Naruto or any other copyrighted works mentioned in this story. I am not writing this for profit.

Arranged Marriage

By CJ304

[Immediately Post Failed Invasion]

Kankuro and Temari watch pensively as Gaara lays quietly by the fire, making no hostile moves or sounds even as Kankuro bandages him up]

Kankuro: ...so much for the Leaf being filled with weaklings...

Temari: I know, right? Since when do they have another Toad summoner, much less one that can bring out the Boss Summon? On top of all those clones? Where did he get the energy for that?

[Unknown to Temari, a reluctantly-admiring grin has emerged on her face, mirrored on Kankuro's as they recall seeing their brother lose for the first time]

Kankuro: ...yeah. [Eyes narrow]. Hey... when he was fighting that Hyuuga prick... did you get a familiar feeling?

Temari: What, you mean him getting up to kick ass despite taking all that damage? Seems like it's his calling card; all that stamina.

Gaara: He's... strong.

[Kankuro and Temari tense up, but slowly relax when they see Gaara passively watching them without any hostile intent]

Temari: ...yeah, we all saw that, Gaara.

Gaara: No. Not just physically. His heart is stronger than mine, too. He can laugh, care, and cry, even make them cheer for him when he triumphs...

[Kankuro and Temari share a puzzled glance]

Gaara: I wish I could learn to be better than they thought of me, like him.

Temari: ...waaaaaiiiit. You don't mean...?

Gaara: Not-mother complains that her-uh, his brother is bragging about having a stronger jailer.

Temari: ...holyshit.

Kankuro: But he's practically well-adjusted!

Temari: ...oh, wow. He suddenly got a lot more interesting.

[Temari and Baki meet with Chiyo after a very long meeting with the Elders, Joinin Commander, and Damyo's representatives]

Elder Chiyo: Try and make the best of it, Temari. Things might seem bad right now, but marrying for politics is just another aspect of being related to the Kage and another form of penance for our failure in the solace in that the Uzumaki come from a long line, however diminished, so your family's honor is not being snubbed with this matchup...

Baki: I'm so sorry, Temari. I tried, but we don't have very much political capital right now... And we can't even threaten to sic Gaara on this one to keep him in line, either...

Temari: Oh, no. It's alright. As far as potential husband's go, Naruto seems like he might be okay.

Baki / Elder Chiyo: ? [Share a shocked look]

Baki: ...you're alright with being married to such an individual? The one who is stronger than Gaara, and who helped cause our invasion to fail?

Temari: [Recalling a conversation by a fire] It's because Blondie's stronger than Gaara that I'm okay with this. I want to learn more about him for Ga-for the village's sake! Ahem!

[Baki puzzles that over, while Temari coughed into her hand. Meanwhile, Chiyo looks like she just had a revelation]

Elder Chiyo: ...wait, this Naruto, the one you are going to marry, the one who fought Gaara and has the Uzumaki stamina, is a blonde boy with the Uzumaki name?

Temari: Yes?

Elder Chiyo: does he by chance summon Toads?

Temari: Yes, actually. Then it turned into a fox during the battle.

Elder Chiyo: [cackles into infinity]

Temari: ...am I missing something...?

Elder Chiyo: ThatcraftyMonkey! Mwa Ha Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa! A blonde Uzumaki with fox powers and super stamina and Toad summons! Temari, don't worry, if he's anything like his scatter-brained father, you just have to seduce him but once and he'll be wrapped around your finger forever! Now excuse me, I gotta send Onoki a letter so I can hear him shit himself from all the way over here! Hahahahahahahaha-!

Baki: ...I think that we're missing something...

Temari: hmmm...

[Later]

[Temari sits alone in her family's mansion, wondering what the future brings as the news of her upcoming engagement slowly spreads]

Temari: ...so I should probably take the initiative. Shit, what do civilian girls do? Wait, no, they get engaged and act all demure. Civilian boys? No. Ugh, fuckit, i'll pick up some Nin-Girls (The magazine for kunoichi, by kunoichi ™️!) magazines and just get up in his face with whatever catches my eye. No point hesitating and making this all awkward and weird...

Gaara: [Bursts in through the door in a flurry of sand]

Temari: [utters a small sound of surprise, tensing] Mentally: Oh shit, the fix wore off and today's the day he kills me!

Gaara: ...ahem. Congratulations on your engagement.

Temari:...what.

Gaara: This makes me...happy...? I am...happy for ...you? [squeaks out the last few words]

Temari: ...oh...

Gaara: I ...offer my ... well wishes? [Awkwardly hugs her]

Temari: [Freezes in place]

Gaara: [Mumbles against her shoulder as he leans in] Also, please convince Naruto to live here when he's my brother.

[Gaara walks out, leaving Temari frozen]

Temari: ...huh. I just got a hug instead of a Sand Coffin. Because of Naruto...

[Temari starts to smile, a small blush building on her face as she imagines living with Naruto in her family home, him acting as a cheerful peacekeeper while her family heals]

Temari: ...fuckit, full steam ahead it is!

[Later: after a very excitable conversation between Naruto, Jiraiya, the Elders of both villages, the Daimyo's of Fire and Wind's representatives, a necessary pre-meeting conversation between Naruto and Jiraiya about his family, and the obligatory throwing of a desk out the window by Tsunade when Naruto made a smart remark]

[Two teenagers are left alone to try and sort out their new situation]

[Hint: Temari is taking it much better than Naruto, who's a blushing mess but also pretty excited]

Temari: Soooooooo, what exactly do you do around here for fun? Any hobbies from your childhood? [Walking through the village while holding his hand for a bit, before stopping on top of the Hokage Monument]

Naruto: Eh, I played pranks by doing stuff like painting the monument so people would have to pay attention to me instead of ignoring me.

Temari: ...I did not expect that, but it's better than killing people to vindicate yourself, I suppose.

Naruto: I also grow plants on my balcony.

Temari: Oh! I... actually didn't expect something like that. That's actually kinda cool.

Naruto: Yeah... yeah... [Awkwardly rubs his arm]

Temari: [Fidgets]

Naruto: Sorry!

Temari: Huh?

Naruto: I just... don't know what to do for stuff like this... I didn't... didn't see much of it, growing up...

Temari: Hey. [Takes his hand in both of hers and squeezes] This is mostly new to me, as well. My dad only had dalliances after my mother died because of, uh, you know, and we all tried to pretend they didn't happen if we ever caught a glimpse. We're both in the same boat. Don't panic.

Naruto: O-oh. Okay! [Beams] I-I just wanna make sure this doesn't get messed up. I-I m-mean. T-this is a...[voice cracks] family thing, r-right? A-aan-annd I wanna have a f-f-family-

Temari: [Blushes a little, but coyly smiles] Ohhh? Is the one who beat my brother excited at the thought of marrying a desert beauty like me? Starting a family? Making a home with me?

Naruto: [Blushes brighter than Kushina's hair]

Naruto: U-U-uuu-uuhhh [voice cracks]

Temari: [Leans in close to his face] So, we should probably test our compatibility if you wanna give this thing a shot. Gaara'a blessing won't matter if we can't make each other happy.

Naruto: [Steam pouring out of his ears as he smells her perfume] R-r-rig-gggght. Good plan-nnn!

Temari: [Smirking as she slides a hand through his hair] Wanna go back to your place and make out on your couch till we get that compatibility going? You don't give up until you get something right, don't you, Mr Uzumaki?

Naruto: Y-yeah!

[Teenage Makeouts Ensued]