She's Not Dead

A/N: So sorry about the major agansty-ness in this little story of mine, but I've been somewhat depressed lately and it fits with my current mood. And it's also to help me get over my writers block for my other SD story. Once again, my apologizes to anyone to whom this offends. Especially the Vala fans, but I've never been very fond of her. I tried to be somewhat fair to her though.

Summary: Sam dies and Daniel is in denial.

Warning/Disclaimer: Major Character Death and own nothing. Everything unfortionately belongs to, MGM/Showtime.

Daniel had just entered General Landry's office, and he was not prepared for what he what he was about to be informed. No, he was not prepared at all. Mitchel, Teal'c and Vala were already present looking confused as they stood and faced the General, who was sitting at his desk wearing a saddened and solemn expression on his face, which seemed to have aged years over night. He wondered where Sam was briefly before the General rose from his seat to face him then turned his attention to the rest of SG-1, minus one.

"Now that you're all here. It's my sad duty to inform you all, that there has been an accident, which took place last night approximately around ten-thirty pm." Daniel didn't like where this was going and suddenly felt like his heart was being twisted painfully with a knife and had to force himself to keep listening as the General continued, "Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter vehicle was hit head on by a drunk driver and was killed upon impact."

There was a dead silence in the room, which Mitchel managed to break , "what about the other driver sir?"

"He was killed upon impact as well," Mitchel nodded with some kind of satisfied justice written on his face.

"Can we see the body?" Vala finally spoke. Daniel blinked back his tears, trying not to let them show. He didn't want to see the body. Because then that would mean that it was all true. He didn't want it to be true. It just couldn't be true. He needed Sam too much. She couldn't be dead.

The General shook his head, "unfortunately no."

"Why not? It's still fully intact isn't it?"

Daniel couldn't believe how lightly Vala was taking the news of Sam's death. They had been friends and she acted like she didn't even care.

"Shut up, Vala," he hissed. "Just. Shut. Up." he emphasized each word painfully clear, giving her a look that can kill. Vala looked hurt, but clamped her mouth shut, and didn't speak after that. Daniel knew that she knew that she had gone too far.

"Has, General O'Neill been informed?" Teal'c probed, letting grief show freely. General Landry nodded.

"Yes, I contacted him myself personally and he should be arriving sometime tomorrow, " he responded. Daniel was beginning to feel suffocated. He needed to get out of that room. He needed to be alone.

He turned around and rushed from the room as quickly as he could, not caring about the others calling him back. He didn't think that he could care about anything anymore. Sam was dead. She was what made everything worth while and she was gone. Taken from him, not by Gou'ald, but by some petty excuse for a human being. Life didn't matter anymore. Not without her.

He had loved with every fiber of his being and he never got to tell her. That thought tore at him more than anything else.

Everyone assumed that he had feelings for Vala, but that simply was not true. How could he love anyone, but Sam? Shar'ae was the only exception and he did have feelings for Sarah once, but he never truly believed that he was actually in love with her. He just loved Sam in a different way than Shar'ae, but it was just as strong, if not more. He loved her and she never knew. He wanted to tell her, but out of fear that it could ruin their friendship. He was waiting for any signs from her that she loved him as more than a friend. If she had, then she was very good at hiding her true feelings from him.

He found that he had wondered into her lab. He leaned against the side of the open doorway and looked around the room as if expected her pop out of no where and tell him that this had all been a major miss understanding. She then would wrap her arms around him and tell him that she was sorry for worrying him so. And in his hopes, she would kiss him and tell him that she loved him too. He knew this to be an unlikely fantasy and his heart was torn to shreds.

When she didn't appear, Daniel sighed disappointedly and walked the rest of the way into the lab. He closed eyes and allowed himself to breathe. The air in the room still carried her sent and he let it wash over him until his shoulders began to heave up and down and he can no longer contain his tears. He collapsed to floor and wrapped his arms protectively around himself. He sniffed and the sobs began uncontrollably. He cried out her name, begging for her to come back, knowing that she never will again.

"I loved you, Sam. Never Vala. Always you. I'm so sorry, I never told you..."

"I love you too, Daniel! And I will always be with you. As long as you remember me," Daniel's eyes snapped open. He could have sworn that she had whispered those words in his ear. Looking around one more time for her and finding nothing. He continued to let the tears fall with no intension of stopping them.


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