Toy Soldiers

I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I ain't never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some shit ever does pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em

Toy Soldiers - Eminem

Harry was sat in Grimmauld Place, sat at the large dining table. He cradled a rapidly cooling mug of Hot Chocolate while his eyes traced the fascinating swirls in the natural wood. Remus and Sirius sat opposite him. Their hands were clasped in one another's. They watched the young man through glassy eyes, their worry for their Godson shone through their actions. Harry's hands were partially covered by the sleeves on his grey shirt as he once again relaxed and tightened his grip on the blue mug in a nervous act of contemplation. He knew that this decision was the best for him, however hard it was to come to the conclusion and actually carry out the act. Sirius, as he had expected, had taken the news badly at first unwilling to respect his Godsons hesitant decision. Remus, as expected, had taken the information with a sort of calm rationality which Harry knew was an act he put on to stop himself looking too distressed.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, Remus. I have to leave." Sirius once again jumped up and hugged his godson in a crushing embrace, for the fifth time since Harry had announced he was planning on moving to America.

"It's for the best trust me. I'll find a small town and I'll buy a house and I'll train myself as much as possible." Harry took note of the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes and the thin film of moisture that was slowly filling up Sirius' grey eyes.

"Why do you need to go away to do this?" Remus asked reasonably, finally able to convey the question that had been on his mind since the first statement Harry had issued them both.

"You seriously need to ask that? With Voldermort and Dumbles on my case I have no chance of having some decent training." Harry took a deep breath, knowing how easy it would be to shy away from his decision and stay in England for the duration of the war.

"No this is the only way I can get through this war." He concluded trying more to convince himself that this was the right thing to do, rather than his Godfathers.

"Are you sure this is what you want, especially in your condition."

Ah...his 'condition'. Barely a year, Harry had to remind himself. The reproducing of mutated cells in his lymphatic system. Barely a year.

"I want to kill him...before this kills me. I want to fight even until my end." Remus and Sirius remained silent while gazing down into Harry's un-naturally emerald green eyes. Their hands found each other again for a brief but assuring squeeze. As Harry saw this small act of their love he immediately knew that they had finally understood.

Sirius looked at his mate. Remus looked back. They understood. This young man who should be a child was sat before them, straight backed as though he held the weight of the whole world's problems on his shoulders. Sirius looked at his mate. Remus looked back. This was the child that should have been left in their care after their best friends deaths; they would have sheltered him from this pain, which he was going through now. Harry matched Sirius' gaze as he tore his eyes from the watery amber of his wolf. Showing strength that no young man of 17 should hold and portraying a type of reserved peace to the outcome of his life. To die a saviour or a martyr was not worth the price of what this young man was going through. This was what Harry needed... to die with pride and to make the deaths of his parents and loved ones to not be in vain. What he wanted. And Sirius and Remus would not hold him back.

"We understand Harry." Sirius whispered while softly dragging his young Godson into a loving careful hug as though he would shatter into a thousand tiny pieces in his embrace. It was a great contrast to the others he had bestowed to his Godson in the passing hours.

"Okay Prongslet," Sirius cleared his throat as he parted from the young man and went straight back to business, "When you go 'missing-" Sirius emphasised the word "- we'll come and visit you on the pretence of looking for you alright?" The animangus clutched Harry's elbow in a tight grip unwilling to let the saviour out of his grip.

"Yeah, but please make sure you're alone, I don't need anybody sniffing offence Moons." Sirius burst out laughing while being slightly glad that the young man had broken the tension that had managed to creep through the room like mist.

"No offence taken Cub." Remus laughed and hugged his Godson tightly, unwilling to admit just how much he would miss him.


The airport around him was full with life. People were making their way towards various boarding gates. Others were running full pelt towards loved ones. Harry watched with intensity that to any outsider seemed very out of character for any young man. Harry didn't care for the curious looks passers by gave him or for those concerned glances from his guardians. He watched in fascination as he saw a woman run across the waiting area to embrace what seemed to be a lover...At least who Harry hoped was a lover considering the loving, passionate kiss that they were now participating in. She had her arms wrapped around his neck in an unbelievably tight grip, holding his form close to hers. Harry's eyes drifted from the loving scene white etching the moment of love in his mind. He observed an older man striding out of a boarding gate. He seemed to be slightly travel worn if the stubble on his face was anything to go by. This didn't stop the young child, a girl, from running to him and leaping into his arms. She was followed by another child, a boy, and a woman Harry presumed was the mother or at least the maternal figure in the family, followed at a sedate yet eager pace. Once again his eyes drifted. This time to an elderly couple. They were approaching a boarding gate, each of them were holding a small carry on case in one hand and their other hands were fixed together in a public display of love. Harry briefly wondered how long they had been together before Remus distracted him.

"Hey, your flights boarding." Harry strained his ears and rightly enough through the babble of the passengers and the feedback of the microphone his flight was being called in a nasally woman's voice.

"Stay safe, Harry." Remus hugged him one last time before he was able to board the plane. Harry felt those strong arms wrap around him in a steel like embrace but still managing to hold him like Harry imagined a Father would a son. Harry leaned into the body in front of his own for a few seconds, all the while inhaling the faint smell of tea and funnily enough Sirius which was a statement enough that they belonged to each other. Sirius was next, his arms tightening around his body in another tight grip, not as strong as Remus' but just as loving. Harry gave himself up in the arms and inhaled his Godfathers scent and true to his animangus he smelt faintly like wet dog (not a wholly pleasant smell) and strongly of Remus.

"You both promise to come and visit me?" Harry asked quietly while holding his Godfathers close once again for the last time as far as he knew, "Soon?" He wouldn't be able to bear it if his guardians were killed during a battle or attack.

"Really, really soon Prongslet." Sirius hugged him back with as much fervour and swung him around in his strong arms unwilling to let him go just yet, "And promise us that you will keep your magic secret and keep your wand safe." Sirius for once was being responsible and calm as he whispered reservedly in his Godsons ear, "If you ever need us just call and we will be there, make sure you take your medication, eat the right things. I will always love you Harry...I think of you as my son." Harry leaned away hesitatingly from his Godfather with a collection of tears gathering at the corners of his eyes.

"I will." They both hugged him again just as tightly as the first time and watched almost mournfully as the seventeen year old turned away to walk towards his boarding gate. Harry stopped to turn back one last time and wave before boarding the plane that would take him to Washington.

"Tell me he's going to be okay Remy." Remus hugged his husband close to his body, not wanting another person he loved be removed from his life.

"I don't know but I hope he will be. Don't forget that Harry is not a child and has never been a child, he's grown up fast and we know that he is intelligent and we know that he will look after himself."
"Yeah you're right." Sirius gave the plane another wistful glance before taking a deep breath and turning on heel. Walking away with his mate steadfastly by his side.

A/N – This is my first Harry/Edward story so please be nice. I know some writers on the site post huge chapters that are like 10 pages long or whatever but I like short chapters so this is probably going to be the average length for each chapter (sorry).

Hope you like.

Review if you want ... see if you can guess what Barely a year means :).