Summery: Lassiter thinks Shawn would be better off without him after Shawn gets hurt. Shawn has different ideas. Shassie Oneshot.
Disclaimer: I don't own Psych or James Morrison…damnit.
Note: I wrote this while listening to James Morrison's song 'Save Yourself'. If you have the chance listen to his CD 'Songs for You, Truths for Me', it's a really Shassie CD! :D
To 'Only the Curious…' Readers: My Spring/Easter break starts on Wednesday so I'll have a chapter up not long after that!
Also, I DID WELL ON THE SATs, GUYS!!! I got such a good score that, for the colleges I want to get into, I don't need to take it again! I'm so happy I could scream! YAY! :D
So won't you save, save yourself
By leaving me now for someone else?
If I'm crying out, don't listen to it,
It's only my heart
Lassiter would never be able to shake that image from his mind. The image of Shawn lying on the ground, clutching his face as blood seeped in between his fingers. The head detective shivered as he thought back to the, hands down, most terrifying moment in his life – and he'd seen a lot.
He could remember dropping to his knees next Shawn, trying to keep his voice and hands from shaking. "Shawn," He'd said, beggingly. "Shawn, please, I need to see it." He'd carefully pulled the P.I.'s hands back, holding them tightly and comfortingly in his own. Shawn's face was covered in blood, with small pinkish trails flowing down from his eyes. Oh God, he was crying. With his freehand Lassiter had lovingly stoked his hair, just like he knew Shawn loved. "It'll be ok, love, you'll be ok." But the damage had scared him.
Shawn had had a deep gash going from the middle of his right cheekbone and curving as it went up over the bridge of his nose and into his left eyebrow. There was a not as deep cut about three inches long underneath his left eye, making it look eerily like he was crying blood, and the last cut was about as deep as the second one just above his right eyebrow, looking about two inches long. The image would be forever burned in his brain, and forever scarred on Shawn's face.
Blood gushing from each slice. Shawn's eyes clenched shut as he continued to writhe.
It was horrifying, to say the least.
He was shaken from his memories as he heard a nurse drop something behind him. He shook himself from his stupor and opened Shawn's hospital room door. Lassiter couldn't help the small intake of breath as he saw his boyfriend, every time he saw him he couldn't help the flood of emotions that filled him. Guilt, sadness, rage. Shawn had a bandage wrapped all the way around his head so his eyes and eyebrows were completely covered. There was a small patch of gauze sticking out on his right cheek so the whole gash was covered.
"Lassie poo?" Shawn asked, his ears having perked up at the intake of breath.
"Yea, Shawn." He said quietly, taking a step forward, "It's me."
A bright smile passed across Shawn's lips. "Well, come in!" He all but squealed. His smile, his excitement, it was all so adorable. So endearing. It made what Lassiter was about to do a hell of a lot harder. "How was the department? They all miss me right? And don't even try to pretend they don't. I've gotten pineapple-flower arrangements and pineapple balloons from almost everyone there…Hey, dad was here before, he just kept talking about this big ass fish he caught, but his voice was all weird. I think he's so pissed off he doesn't know what to do, that he just talks about nothing. I saw him do that sometimes when he and mom fought. Oh! Gus came too! He brought me a smoothie, did you? Maybe he should be my boyfriend. My boyfriend needs to bring be smoothies. Oh, also! Nurse Singer, she was in here before, and do you know what she told me? Mr. Roberts, the man down the hall? He's been-"
"Shawn." Lassiter whispered, his voice barely audible, but it stopped Shawn dead, the young man's unbreakable smile faltering.
"Shawn, I—I can't do this anymore."
"Do what? Sit in a hospital? Agreed! Wanna check me out AMA? I've done it a bunch of times, they have a stack of those forms set aside for me-"
"Shawn." He said again, the one word silencing the always-talking man again. Lassiter could feel his heart breaking as he forced himself to utter the next sentence. "I think we should end it Shawn."
Shawn's smile was gone completely now, and he took in a few small breaths, the head detective wasn't sure if he was crying or not. He'd never seen Shawn cry before, so he didn't know how it sounded, and he couldn't see his eyes. He was flying blind here. "Lassie." The younger man almost growled out.
"Shawn, Shawn please, lets just end it now. Make it a clean break." At the way Shawn moved his lips, able to be expressive without his eye, Lassiter realized Shawn wasn't crying.
"A clean—sure! Sure, excellent idea! Break up with the blind guy!" Shawn was joking.
"Shawn, please. Lets just let it be over, you can-"
"I do not accept!"
"I—what?" The detective stopped dead at that.
"I don't accept. Therefore it is not over."
"What? Shawn that's not how it works-"
"You are half of this democracy and my vote counts double since I'm injured so therefore you are outnumbered."
Lassiter was dumbfounded and couldn't help the smile that slipped across his lips. It felt like their relationship, like all the good times they always had. But Lassiter's smile slipped away as he looked at the bandages. It reminded him of why he was doing this, why he had to do this.
"Shawn, I can't do this to you anymore-"
"Well, good! Pretending to break up with me isn't funny anyway."
"That's not what I mean and you know it."
Shawn made a movement with his lips that Lassiter knew meant he was rolling his eyes, Lassiter knew all of Shawn's little movements. "Please, Lassiter. Take some morphine or something and calm down. I've got plenty." Shawn held up the hand that had an almost empty IV connected to it.
"Shawn. I—the only reason you have morphine is because you got hurt, and the only reason you got hurt is because you're dating me."
Shawn made the eye-rolling movement again. "That's what this is about? Seriously? I thought it was because I broke the washer by forgetting there was pineapple in my pocket."
"Shawn, I don't give a damn about the washing machine!"
"Well I do! How else will we clean our clothes?"
"Shawn, please be serious for one second."
"I can't. You're being serious enough for the two of us- hell for this whole hospital – one of us needs to be fun."
Lassiter let out a single breath, a humorless laugh. "The man attacked us because I'd arrested his brother, Shawn. By dating me you're in constant danger. I—I can't let you get hurt like that."
Shawn smiled a little, laughing slightly. "Really? You're going the Superman way? Why not call me Lois? Or no wait, you're more like Spiderman, he doesn't wear his underwear on the outside. Plus, I'd really love to kiss you upside-down." Shawn licked his lips at that and Lassiter had to suppress the groan that formed in his throat.
He clenched his eyes shut, shaking his head he lowered it to the bed, suddenly finding himself tearing up. "Shawn…" He trailed off, the tears staring to flow down his cheeks, and for a second he was glad Shawn couldn't see him. "I—I'd rather be miserable, and know you were happy, and safe, with someone else then be so—so happy with you, and know you were going to get hurt." He paused, shaking his head against the bed, "I…I just feel like I can't protect you anymore…" His crying became audible now, Lassiter had never cried in front of anyone, not even when his father had died when he was thirteen.
He felt a soft hand on his head, stroking his hair lovingly, much as Lassiter had stroked Shawn's when he was lying on the floor, bleeding. "Its OK, Lassie." Shawn whispered. The two sat like that for a moment, until Lassiter lifted his head and took Shawn's hand in his. He held it to his lips, kissing it for a long moment as tears flowed down his cheeks unstoppably.
"Love, I-" He couldn't finish, instead he sniffled.
"Lassie," Shawn all but whispered, "I never feel safer than when I'm in your arms." Shawn tugged on Lassiter's hand, and the older man got the message immediately. He pulled himself onto the bed next to Shawn, the IV on the man's other side. Lassiter wrapped his arm around Shawn's shoulders and the psychic curled into him, hugging him tight. Lassiter wrapped his other arm around Shawn, holding onto him like a lifeline.
"Are we done with the breaking up talk now?" Shawn breathed into Lassiter's chest.
Lassiter took a deep breath, taking in Shawn's scent of pineapple and honeysuckle. Squeezing out the last tears and letting them fall away he whispered, "Yea, yea, we're done."
"Good. Because I was really hoping for some hospital room sex and that was putting a damper on the idea."
Lassiter laughed outright, feeling it down in his throat. He sniffled loudly and kissed Shawn on top of his head, a smile still on his lips. "I love you, Shawn."
"Love you too, Spiderman."
Like? Hate? Please, do tell! I'm in such a fantastic mood because I'm done with almost everything I had to do this year and I'm hoping you won't put a damper on my good mood :D
Thank you for reading!