Well, I'm going to start out by telling you that this is an old piece originally put up on TONFA. It's riddled with gramatical errors and a few incorrect words like tong instead of tongue and it's instead of its and things like that.
Also, it was written before I truly got into the manga and not just slightly into the Anime, so it's rather AU when it comes to the parts about Dan (spelled Daan by mistake) and Orochimaru.
Otherwise, it's still my favorite songfic and I figured I'd go ahead and post this before getting started on the newer Jiraiya x Tsunade story I've got coming up.
Again, I do know that it's not written very well all things considered. It's the story that matters to me most at all times, and I forced myself to keep all the mistakes rather than change them for the better when deciding to post it here. It'll kinda serve as a reminder of how much someone can grow in writing in two years.
This story was originally published under the penname AnneLea on TONFA (The Original Naruto Fanfiction Archive in longer terms) which is where I started reading and writing Naruto fanfiction before coming here. I do not own the characters or places mentioned. The song is not mine either. Places and characters are copyright M. Kishimoto, and song is copyright... uh... crap... Such bad memory!
I know it's late
I know you're weary
The half moon shined down on the land in the valley, giving the worn and weary shinobi and villagers all the light they needed to make their way to what shelter was left to them for the night. Jiraiya walked into the clearing being used as a make-shift hospital after the regular offices had been filled up in town.
Little lamps marked the paths between rows of patients and lead the way to free medics and their assistants. Although he had no need of medical attention, he knew Tsunade might need the support of a friend to get her through the night. Orochimaru wouldn't bother with her if he could avoid it, no matter how much Tsunade wanted the pale boy. Once more, he'd give it a try, try to get her attention.
I know your plans
Don't include me
"Jiraiya!" a girl about his age slung one of his arms over her own shoulders and wrapped her arm around his waist as he stumbled farther in among the wounded. "You ass. What are you doing walking around like this?"
"Looking for someone." he said through a yawn.
"All of our people are either being cared for or in bed by now, you should be, too."
"I need to find Tsunade," he mumbled, hissing again as the twisted ankle gave another sharp needle of pain up his leg.
"I'm right here," the girl dug her fingers into his side to prove her point. "What did you do to yourself?"
He blushed at the knowledge it was an offer to help. "Twisted ankle."
"Well, come on, I've got six other patients, but we can get it wrapped before I have to go to them," she said in an admonishing tone as she lead him over to a clear space near the far end of the clearing.
Still here we are
Both of us lonely
Longing for shelter
From all that we see
Two hours later, Tsunade came back around to check on her white haired team mate only to find him scribbling in a small orange note book, constantly looking over his shoulder as if afraid someone would see what he was writing. She instantly knew what it was... his dirty stories that completely lacked a comprehensible plot. Though he didn't know it, she has stolen the book on a few occasions and read through it while he slept, putting it away only when it started making her hot all over. The stories were about what he wanted to do to her, but she never thought of him as she read, always someone else. Orochimaru or her friend Daan usually took the place of Jiraiya's character when she read.
"What's that?" she asked in mock happiness, plopping down on the ground next to him and peering at the notebook as if she had no clue as to what he was attempting to keep a secret.
"Nothing!" Jiraiya lied, closing the notebook with a snap as his blush returned.
"Not writing anything dirty are you, Jiraiya?" Tsunade teased.
"Never!" he lied again.
"You know, if Sarutobi-sensei catches you doing that, you're going to be in big trouble..."
"Not as long as you keep your fat mouth shut and your flat chest out of my way!" he said, getting angry in his fear now.
"Sure, whatever," she waved him off, knowing he wouldn't really be able to hurt her. He liked her too much to do that. "Have you seen Orochi-kun around anywhere?"
"He went back to the hotel with Sarutobi-sensei when I came back out here," Jiraiya answered honestly, glad of the change of topic, even if it was to Orochimaru. "Why are you worried about him? What about your patients here?"
"Oh, I lied about that," she waved him off again. "I just wanted to see if I could find him."
After a second's thought, Jiraiya timidly asked, "What about me?"
"Hmm? what about you?" she asked, confused.
"I'm sitting here hurt and needing your help to get back to a bed and you're off wandering around looking for someone who's completely fine!" he yelled, upset beyond words. "When are you going to see that he doesn't care about you? He doesn't like you as anything more than a team mate!"
"Oh, but you do?" she jumped up, balling up her fists and leaned over him in a mockery of intimidation. "I've read your stories, Jiraiya! They're all about sex. All you want is to have sex with me! That's all you care about! But Orochi-kun actually has a heart. When he's interested in something, he goes at it with his whole heart and mind, not just with his dick!"
"Shut up already!" he hissed. "You're going to wake the whole village!"
Why should we worry
No one will care, girl
Jiraiya walked into the Hokage's office without worry. Shizune merely sighed when she saw him. She knew there would most likely be yelling in a few seconds, and that she should probably call the hospital and tell them to prepare to receive the man as an emergency patient. then she remembered something. Tsunade had once confessed that all her hostility towards the perverted man was born of fear. Jiraiya could kill Tsunade if he wanted to, but he never would, so Tsunade kept up the brave act in the meantime. After the way things had turned out with Orochimaru, her greatest fear was loosing Jiraiya in a similar manner. Somehow, Shizune thought, Tsunade believed that giving in to Jiraiya would turn him against Konoha.
"What do you want? Tsunade asked as Jiraiya sat down across from her at the desk.
"To see how you're holding up," he answered honestly.
"Bored of all the other women already?" she asked playfully. "I didn't believe it possible."
"I haven't gone out looking for anyone new lately," he replied, leaning back in the chair to prop his feet up on the desk. He smiled ruefully at her glare. "I actually was thinking about someone older."
"There aren't many of those left, you know," she commented, sticking some files into a drawer to her left. "I doubt many of them could handle you anymore."
"Haha, you know exactly what I mean, Tsunade," he laughed for real
She shook her head. "How many more years will I have to tell you no?"
"Until you give up and say yes, of course," he tipped the chair back a bit more, putting his arms behind his head. "Come on, be honest. When was the last time you had a good lay?"
"That's really not any of your business."
"Just as I thought. It's been a long time. Hasn't it?"
She remained quiet, not wanting to outright lie to him.
"Too long for me, too. Can't let ourselves get rusty!"
"I don't care," she answered, fighting the urge to slam her hands down on the desk.
"Come on, Tsunade-kun. It's not like anybody's really going to care."
"The fact you only want be because of my body. You're only physically interested, nothing more. You're worried about your reputation of never not being laid by every woman of age you've come into contact with. You're worried about that useless achievement, and not about what really matters to me."
Jiraiya had already prepared for this argument from her. He'd heard it so many times before.
"I know what matters to you," he told her, sitting up straight now, leaning forward to look at her seriously. "Someone who wants to be seen with you every day in town. Someone you can go buy clothes with, or go see a movie and get some dinner. You want someone you can go to an ice cream shop with and act like a child without being dumped right afterwards. You want someone who's willing to cuddle up with you and just enjoy watching the fireplace on a winter night. You want someone you can lean on and cry out your stress, worry, and fear. You want someone who'll stay around, but stay out of your way as a leader. You want someone beside you, not controlling you."
Tsunade had no comments to that. He was right.
"And," he added, "you seem to think that person is not me. You've forgotten all the times I offered to take you out on the week end as kids. You've forgotten all the times I've offered to be your shoulder to cry on when Orochimaru refused and Sarutobi-sama was not there to be your daddy figure. You don't remember seeing me curled up by the campfire, hugging the one birthday gift you gave me to my chest because you were too busy hanging all over Daan's arm. You think I'm always gone on my own wants. You forget that the only time I've rally left Konoha since you've returned is when you have ordered me to. You're so worried that I'm going to hurt you that you've never even noticed how many times you hurt me. Still, I'm here, and still trying. Sure, I'm infatuated with well formed female bodies. But when it comes to love...It's always been you, Tsunade. You just remember that next time you can't find a man to be comfortable around during one of your early morning visits to the ice cream parlor down the road."
He pushed himself up and stalked out of the office, not bothering to glance back. He nodded once to a relieved Shizune
Look at the stars
They're so far away
Jiraiya sat down on a bench underneath a tree in the park, slumped forward in his depression. He reached onto a vest and pulled out the stuffed orange frog with blue speckles that Tsunade had given him for his sixteenth birthday. If fit n the palm of his hand. The croaking mechanism had been broken for over ten years now, finally worn out by all of his tugging on the string. He stood up and walked over to the large pond, noting the reflected stars on it's still surface. Those balls of fire, so very far away from the earth, provided very little comfort.
Deep in my soul
I've been so lonely
Tsunade followed Jiraiya out of the building at a sprint a few minutes later. her tears confusing Shizune as she streaked by. Desperately hoping he would be at the pond she had found him at after Sasuke had left, she ran there, knocking people out of the way, left and right as she went.
All of my hopes
Are fading away
Jiraiya wondered what point there was in continuing to hope for Tsunade's love. She had denied him for thirty--thirty-five years now. It wasn't likely she would stop. He doubted she would even admit one ounce of love or him as more than a friend with her dying breath.
He looked back down at the toy frog with disgust, wondering why she even bothered to give him that much. Suddenly hating the thing beyond all else, he chucked the frog into the deeper parts of the pond and walked away.
Cold hearted bitch.
I've longed for love
Like everyone else does
When Daan died, Tsunade hid the loneliness. She hid it so well for so long that she forgot it even existed within her own heart. Yes, the loss, sadness, and a hatred were prominent now, but the pure loneliness and longing for the love she felt in his arms, was completely hidden.
Now it festered and welled up to the point of spilling over at Jiraiya's words. She had been the cause of his loneliness, and he had been there, begging almost daily, since they were students and team mates.
I know I'll keep searching
Even after today
Jiraiya walked through the darkness of the trees in the park, letting them reflect his black mood.
Tsunade had let him just walk right out of the door. She didn't even have enough compassion to attempt to stop him. Not even for one second. All those years were utterly wasted on her. He could have found someone else...
It was well past time that he start searching for someone new.
So there it is, girl
I've said it all now
He kept walking, pretending he didn't hear Tsunade calling him. He had said about everything he had to say to her tonight. there were plenty more things he could say to her, but right now they were not things he felt like saying.
"Jiraiya, wait, damn it!"
He skidded to a halt, otherwise he would have ran Tsunade over. "What the--?"
"Shut up!" she commanded, looking as if she'd just gone for a swim. "Why...?"
He backed up a couple steps as she shoved the orange frog into his face.
"Why did you dare throw this into the pond?" she demanded. "It was the first time in months that I actually had cash on me to spend and I chose to buy you a present with it. Now you go and throw it away?"
Telling the truth, that he was mad at her, was not a very good idea. Lying and saying he was just trying to see if it could swim didn't look like a very good idea either. Obviously, Tsunade could swim very well despite the frog's sinking tactics.
"What? Don't have anything to say anymore? After all the talking you did earlier?"
"Um, you look good wet?" it slipped out before he could stop it. She had asked him, after all.
She slapped him with the soaked frog, right across the cheek.
"Ow! Hey, you asked!"
Turn out the light
Come take my hand now
Jiraiya was extremely nervous as he entered the waiting area--Shizune's domain. Apparently, it showed. Shizune gave him a comforting smile as he waited for her approval to enter the Hokage's office.
"One moment, Jiraiya-sama," Shizune said, walking into the office to announce his arrival. When she returned, it was with Tsunade at her heels instead of inviting him inside.
"Remember to shut off the lights before you go home tonight, Shizune," Tsunade commanded as she grabbed Jiraiya by the hand and jerked him back out of the door and into town.
"What are you doing?" Jiraiya asked constantly to no avail. He tried to break her hold on his hand, but every time her grip only tightened. "Damn it, Tsunade, where are we going? At least tell me that much!"
She pointed up at the sign. It was a banana split. "Prove yourself. You've got one night. No more talking about what you think I want. Show me what you think I want. Show me you actually want to do it."
We've got tonight
Who needs tomorrow?
"Jiraiya?" Tsunade looked up at his face, suddenly scared.
"Yes?" he asked, looking back down at her, content with the turn of events that day.
"Why are you here?"
"Because you forced me to?" he asked playfully, knowing what she really meant.
Her expression soured. She had not physically forced him to do anything else besides walk to the door of the ice cream parlor with her. She hadn't even threatened to cut his pay or sent him on any more suicide missions.
"Honestly, Tsunade?" he asked, giving her waist a little hug where she lay on the upright futon with her head in his lap. "I'm here because I want to be here. I'm happy here, and I hope you're happy, too. I hope your eyes have finally opened up to me. You said I only had the one day, so I'm not going to worry with tomorrow. Why worry about it if you're probably going to dump me tonight?
She looked away, back at the flames dancing in the fireplace on the last log they had thrown in over an hour ago. She wondered about what he said, the second time in a week that it wasn't something to do with a mission or possible threat to the billage. "You really think I'm going to do that, don't you?"
"Pretty much," he answered honestly. "I figured I'd live it up tonight, enjoy what time you'll give me, and stay the hell out of your way tomorrow when you're pissy again."
Tsunade felt the laughter bubbling up in the pit of her stomach. A twitch at the corner of her mouth alerted Jiraiya to the oncoming storm of laughs.
Yet, it never came. Instead, Tsunade half sat up, cupped his face with one hand, and gently pressed her lips to his for a brief moment.
"You really are cute when you're clueless about romance," she said, smiling fully.
"So... you're not going to dump me in the morning?"
She shook her head once. "No."
We've got tonight, babe
Why don't you stay?
Tsunade scooted against the warmth behind her, pulling the strong arm up between her breasts to kiss the tip of each long finger. Those fingers apparently knew how to do things no shinobi school would dare teach its students in sex-ed. Getting a bit warm between the legs at the very thought of what they had wrought in her the night before, she chose to gently suck at the middle finger, wrapping her tong around it as best she could, and licking into the dips where the other two fingers met the palm.
It produced the desired effect a bit quicker than she'd expected. The slowly growing erection was waking him up. He moaned once in his half asleep state.
"Tsunade, that's not fair," Jiraiya moaned a second time.
"Then teach me how to be fair," she told him in a low, sultry voice, "or I'll take advantage every time you let your guard down from now until one of us is in our grave."