Dangling legs. Mine. Faded blue jeans and converses. They're all the fashion these days. The ground. Pavement and tarmac. A car passes by, it's a little late but it's not uncommon. A tramp is asleep by the side of the house next to the one I'm on. It's not like it could be sleeping against this one after all. The tops of lamp posts, shining lights down. A few weeds. An overturned garbage bin, spilt bags across the floor.
Thus is my view. Is that proper grammar? Thus? What does it matter? My view is fairly uneventful. I'm not actually paying much attention to it though. No, my thoughts are elsewhere. Mainly upon my point in life. I've been quite useless. Still am. Below average Newt results. I was only let into the Aurors because I was a Metamorphagus. I've got two left feet. I'd like to blame the constant body changes but I'd be lying. It's more like I'm wearing clown shoes all the time.
I did alright in the Aurors. Well, I never advanced but I attracted the attention of the great Alastor 'Mad-eye' Moody. I don't know what he saw in me. I was useless them and still am.
I absent mindedly twirl my wand in my fingers. I suppose I was always quick on the draw but it was more than made up for by my inability to maneuver myself more than three paces without tripping while fighting.
I wasn't any help in the war. I didn't fight Voldemort, hunt for Horcruxes, heal and save lives or really beat any death eaters. I got a few with lucky shots from a stationary position. Always part of a team so I could be covered if I fell. Useless.
"That's what I am. I'm useless."
"I don't think so." I spin around suddenly, a bad idea as I am soon grateful that I fell backwards onto the roof instead of the four story drop forward. I look up from my vantage point on the floor to see two amused green eyes staring back at me. I roll over and stand up. I almost fall again but his arms catch me. Strong arms, I add. Very strong. And warm.
"What are you doing up here?" He asks me before I can slip into a blissful slumber in his arms. I don't really want to answer so I look for an alternative.
"What are you doing?" I shoot back.
"Couldn't sleep. But is asked first and you didn't answer." He smiles again. Did he stop? I think he frowned a second ago.
"Fine." Honesty is my best bet, perhaps? "I was pondering how useless I am." He huffs. Actually huffs. He leads me over to a flat spot on the roof and flicks his wand at it. I sit down and realize it was a warming charm.
"You aren't useless." He states.
"Why do you think that?"
"I can't do anything right. I'm a low level Auror, Sub par Newts. I'm twenty six years old and haven't had a boyfriend in six years. I did nothing but fall over in the war. I can't protect anybody." It all spills out and I can't stop it. He just sits there, thinking most likely. When I stop, he replies earnestly.
"There's nothing wrong with being an Auror. Thousands did less than you in the war. They cowered and hid and ignored others pain but you acted. And your dating history is bad? I'm eighteen and have only kissed two girls; one cried when we did and the other? Well, I have come to the shocking realization that she looks almost exactly like my mum. Also, I didn't take my Newts." He laughs. "I'm more useless than you by far."
"I didn't kill Voldemort." I argue. I'm determined it seems to pick out every hole in his little attempt to cheer me up. Sad, I know.
"Fluke." He says simply. "I had some sort of Ultimate Cheat Card handed on a silver plate."
"And the Horcruxes?" He spent a year looking for them and destroying them. No one else could do that, surely.
"Also Flukes. We spent so many days just sitting in a tent, Hermione staring at a blue tack covered map of Britain while I subtly stared at her breasts."
"What?" I choke out, laughing. That was an unexpected confession, for sure.
"I was seventeen. She was the only girl I had seen in the last eight months. Besides, she has a nice rack." He laughs at my most likely shocked face. I scowl, stand up and walk over to the railings at the edge of the roof. He follows me over and takes a place next to me.
"It's still only been a year for you. I haven't been on a full date in six bloody years. No one wants me to be me." A bit Hypocritical in a way, I know. After all, I change every day. I still keep my face and body the same though. I simply cover spots and style my hair with colours. It's like dating a woman who has almost flawless skin and a love of outrageous colours. That's exactly what it is in fact. But every one I go out with wants me to change far too much.
"Lots of people do."
"Name some." I snap coldly. He sighs. Aha. I knew it. There's no way he's going to make me feel better now!
What is wrong with me?
"I suppose it might not be the same for you but… For every boy, man, whatever… There's always a woman. That perfect, unobtainable woman. Beautiful. Smart. Funny. Caring. Always an older woman who they wish they were old enough to tell their feelings to."
He pauses and I try to see where he's going with this.
"I suppose I've finally decided I'm old enough. It's been four years since I met you. In that time, you've always been able to make me laugh when no one else could. You'd actually listen when I talked. It started as a crush but it grew really. I'm glad I came up here though I may not be soon. I guess what I'm trying to say is… I care about you, Tonks. I want you to be you. And to be mine. I… I guess I love you."
He had been looking out across the horizon, looking for the sunset that was still three hours away. His knuckles ware white and but his face is clam. I can still see the hope and fear of rejection in his eyes though. That doesn't matter now though.
I'm still caught on his proclamation of love. "I…" Silence again.
"I understand. I'm too young. You need someone more your age. It's fine. I had hoped… But never really expected you to love me back like I do you. Forget it. I'll see you tomorrow, Tonks." He walks back to the door leading inside. I urge myself to move, turn, cry out to him. It's like I'm glued in place. I finally wrench my self free and call his name. "Harry, wait!" He freezes and I take my chance. I run to him as he turns and throw my arms between his and wrap them around his chest and back. I nuzzle my head into his neck and hold him there.
I feel his arms wrapping around me and force words from my mouth, barely a whisper. "Say… Say it again."
"What?" He asks quietly, blissfully.
"Tell me you love me." He's silent for a while and I begin to fear he didn't mean it.
"I love you. How could I not." I close my eyes and pull him tighter.
"I… I think I… I love you too." He takes a deep breath and I feel his chest expand onto me. "I always liked you when you were younger and I think I feel more than that now."
We stay there, euphoric bliss in each others arms. It feels so right. The sunrises and bathes us in a golden glow, making him more perfect. I look up at him. Realize the time. How long we've been standing here. He smiles at me affectionately and I can feel my heart swell with glee. I'm wanted.
"Let's go down. You look tired and I have a wonderful double bed in my room that needs another resident." I nod but don't move. Eventually he laughs and picks me up in a bridal like position. I drift to sleep in his arms.
What did you think?
I rather liked it myself but I'm probably being biased so your opinion would be nice. Of all the things to pop into my head since... A while, this has been my favourite overall.
Anyways. I might continue this into a story and not just a oneshot. Again. Your opinions would be appreciated.
Bye for now.
(And I really am trying to finish the HPATCOR chapter. It's been way to long though.