Toonville EP9: The Episode Where In There Someone Becomes Gay After Having Sex With a Nerd In The Showers
Brief Summary: Duncan has sex with Harold in the showers and becomes a homosexual.
Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...
You guys are on my mind...
You ask me what I wanted to be
And now I think the answer's plain to see...
I wanna be...FAMOUS...
I wanna live close to the sun...
Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...
Everything to prove, nothing in my way...
I'll get there one dayyy...
'Cause I wanna be famous!
Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...
Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...
I wanna be...
I wanna be...
I wanna be famous...
I wanna be...
I wanna be...
I wanna be famous!
Doo doo-doo doo...
Doo doo-doo doo...
Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...
(End theme song)
(Cue scene: The episode starts when it goes to inside the locker room in Total Drama High School, which is not a reality show, but a real high school. Duncan, Owen, Harold, DJ, Justin, Trent and Geoff all are taking showers)
Duncan: Hey, guys, I got an idea. I came up with something Harold will never forget. Are you with me?
Geoff: (Washing his hair) I'll be with you as soon as I am done washing my hair!
DJ: You sure, man? Harold knows some mad kung fu!
Duncan: Yeah! I'm sure!
DJ: Dude! You could make Harold get Eva down here to rape you! (Duncan looks at him angrily) Or… maybe not.
Owen: Sorry, dude, but I am O-U-T, out!
Trent: Yeah. Me too.
Justin: Count me out! This water is sooo relaxing for my hair and skin.
Duncan: Okay, fine! I'll do it myself! (He walks out of his shower nude and does something strange to Harold)
DJ: What's going on out there with Duncan and Harold?
Owen: I don't know!
Geoff: I don't know, too!
Trent: Should we check it out?
(They come out of their showers and see Harold and Duncan have sex)
DJ, Trent, Geoff and Justin: (Gasp!)
Owen: Son of a bitch! Duncan's… gay!
(The five look at each other and laugh)
(Duncan and Harold see them laughing at the gayness going on)
Owen: Oh, this is funnier than when E.T. found a way to entertain himself!
We cut to E.T. and other people of his species somewhere.
"Good to have you back, Kleborp. It's going to be a long ride home so find a way to entertain yourself." An alien says. Everyone but E.T. leaves. E.T. stretches his neck and sucks on his soft dick to entertain himself.
(Cut to Owen's house, where Owen and all of his friends from the showers at the disgusting yet funny day at Total Drama High School sans Duncan and Harold are watching TV on Owen's large plasma screen TV.)
Announcer: We are now back to Cutting In Line In Front of Aliens.
(It shows a man cutting in the front of the line for a movie with aliens in the line)
Alien 1: Kua!
Alien 2: Kua!
Alien 3: Bla kua!
Alien 4: Kua!
English Alien 1: Hey!
Bilingual Alien 1: Hey! Kua! Kua!
English Alien 2: What the fuck!
Bilingual Alien 2: Bla kua! Espada!
English Alien 3: Why are you cutting in line?! You always do that! Why?! God damn you!
(Duncan comes in walking gay-like and holding a condom)
Duncan: Hey-hey! Whatcha guys doing?
Owen: Watching TV.
Trent: What were you doing?
Duncan: Having gay sex! Ha! What… what are you doing?
Owen: I said watching T—
Duncan: (Laughs) That's what I thought you said!
Owen: Wait! Duncan, are… are you gay?
Duncan: (With a gay voice, holding his arm up)
Owen: Oh, lord! He's done it! You know what they say… (Mumbles inaudibly)
Owen: I said homosexuality is wrong.
Trent: Are you... Are you being serious right now?
Owen: Just keep it in the bedroom, you know? I mean I'm not all in your face with my heterosexuality.
Trent: Ah, no you are not.
Owen: Hey, here's another idea: Ever read the bible? Leviticus 18:22!
Trent: Owen, you're judgmentally quoting bible verses and you even know how to have sex with a guy!
Owen: Welcome to my world, Trent.
Trent: Ugh, this whole place is a giant mind fuck.
Duncan: Do you know what other people I have sex with now? Kids! (Smiles gay-like)
Trent: Shit, man.
(Cut to the home of the Griffins. Trent sits down next to Peter at the kitchen table)
Trent: Ya see, after Duncan had sex with Harold… twice, he then became gay.
Peter: Uh-huh, the "gay after sex with males" phase. Well, Trent, when someone gets to that phase, he has sex with any male adult or kid and starts walking and talking gay. Then his sex fettish grows bigger and he has more sex every day. Then he starts having sex with both kinds of genders and also animals. Then he becomes more and more gay everytime he has sex.
Trent: How do I make him stop being gay?
Peter: Hmm… the only way to make him not gay is to… kill him.
Trent: Kill him?!
Peter: It's the only way.
(Duncan comes in)
Duncan: Hey, Peter! You're coming with me! (Grabs Peter)
Peter: Trent, he's got me! You gotta kill him! Kill him! (Gets taken off screen. The screen zooms in on Trent's face)
Trent: You're right.
(Cut to the tall Shamble Hotel, where Duncan is at having more and more sex. Trent reaches there holding a backpack full of guns, knives, spears, shovels, drills and explosives)
Trent: It's the only way. (Trent comes into the lobby, where a shivering Phineas is in fetal position on the ground holding his groin)
Phineas: So cold. So cold. So cold. So cold.
Trent: Dude, what's wrong?!
Phineas: Duncan… raped me. He came up to me, kissed me, said "Let's have a large ride together!" and put his hands up my… butt crack. (Shudders) The horror!
Trent: Where is he?
Phineas: I heard he is going to have sex with Peter on the 3rd floor, room I-LUV-SEX.
Trent: He's there. (He goes to the 3rd floor via elevator and goes into the room I-LUV-SEX, kicks the door open and holds up a .44 Magnum) Freeze!
Peter: Trent! I can't believe you're on time!
Duncan: Sorry, but you're going to be too late!
Trent: You die now! (He starts shooting at Duncan and tries to cut him up. They start fighting. The fight goes into the kitchen on the 4th floor via elevator. They ruin a cake made by Bender)
Bender: Hey! I was making that penis cake for Duncan!
Duncan: (While he is fighting) Sorry 'bout that! (They go into another elevator. This time, Trent presses "Control room" and they go there, slicing up wires. Some workers fall from the wires. Some workers do the Wilhelm scream as their scream. Trent and Duncan slash each other and scar each other. The fight ends when Trent pushes Duncan into a pit of fire. Duncan does the Wilhelm scream when he falls in)
Trent: I've done it! He's dead!
Worker: Thanks a lot, idiot! Now you have to pay us one million dollars!
Trent: Hmm… I think I know how to get that kind of money.
(Cut to a courthouse. Horace A. Whopper bangs his gavel)
Whopper: Guilty! I hereby take away the million dollars!
Trent: Aw, man!