A/N: I can't believe I'm typing this. But our dear readers, WrestleFan4 and I have reached the end of our tale. We hope that you enjoyed reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it. But don't worry, we're still collaborating together. We have another co-written Matticho out called Dark Secret which can be found on WrestleFan4's page. But enough of the yakity-yakity, on with the fic!
Chris woke up and opened his eyes slowly. He turned and looked at the clock; the neon numbers told him he'd only been asleep for about a half hour. Sighing he started to toss and turn again, tangling in the sheet before pulling it away and giving it over to Matt who was snoring softly.
I'm failing him yet again. Chris thought to himself as he sat up in bed and watched Matt sleep.
Things had been going so well, the weeks flying by, adding up to about a month. There were less dreams of Jack, less hibernation to hide from the world, even the anxiety attacks were slacking off until Chris had thought that maybe he'd defeated them permanently. The little pills in the orange bottle were slowly draining away, doing their job to help set his mind a little straighter than it had been. Even the wounds on his hands had healed, no more bandages and ointment, only a few harsh scars were left to remind him that he'd hurt them, though a lot of the things he'd done in his unstable state were really no more than a blur.
But then, just when things seemed to be heading steadily upwards, everything crashed again. Last night. Scowling, Chris rolled out of bed and paced around the darkened room, the floor creaking softly. Lucas raised his head and twitched his ears and watched Chris through bleary eyes.
"What are you looking at?" Chris growled lowly in the darkness.
The dog crawled from the end of the bed towards Matt and curled up at the top of his pillow, almost laying on his head like a fluffy, canine fashion accessory. Chris turned away and went downstairs, not wanting to disturb Matt or wake him up. He sank onto the couch and turned his hands over and studied the backs of them, running his fingertips lightly over the raised marks.
"What am I trying to prove? You're always going to be there you son of a bitch!" He growled; bitterness lacing his voice as tears leaked from his eyes, thinking that no time could completely delete the traces of Jack away from him.
He wanted to think that he could forget it all, erase it from his mind, go back to the same person he had been before but that was foolish. Deep wounds always leave scars. His thoughts drifted off to the night before. He had thought that he was ready to do it, to make love to his Matty again. They'd messed around a little and it had gotten comfortable again. Intimate moments were becoming more often and less anxious for Chris, his fear of touching Matt and contaminating him only bit at his mind occasionally, it was no longer a crippling phobia. He should have listened to Matt, Matt didn't think it was a good idea to go that far yet but Chris had pressed it and in the end Matt had trusted him to know his own feelings and boundaries better.
It was normal, it was wonderful, holding each other and feeling that familiar fire burning again. It was fine until Chris had rolled, pulling Matt on top of him. He had thought that replacing Jack with Matt would be a good thing that looking up into Matt's face would stamp out the last of the rape scenes that still drifted in and out of Chris' dreams on many nights. It turned out that it was a really bad idea. There wasn't even a gradual building of discomfort; it was just sudden panic, chaos. Everything that Chris and Matt had worked so hard for seemed to collapse in that moment. Matt was off of Chris quickly, trying to calm him but when he took Chris' hands it only scared him more. It wasn't Matt, it was Jack--it was Jack tugging at him, ready to drag him back and do those things again.
The house was full of Chris' screaming, frightening Lucas under the bed. Matt was trying to talk over the screams, trying to be the voice of reason, but Chris had gone deaf to it. The night ended with Chris hiding himself in a closet--like a fucking scared little child--and Matt couldn't get him to come out. When Matt opened the door he'd just scoot as far back as he could get, obscured by the clothes, the only sound marking his presence being his weeping.
Matt didn't know what else to do, so he left Chris alone and had a sleepless night. By morning Matt tried again to get Chris from the closest where he sat hugging his knees, his eyes swollen and red from crying, patches of his hair torn out and stuck between his fingers. When Matt looked down at him, the blond shamefully hid his face in his knees. Nothing came out but a hoarse, painful sob. Dry eyes couldn't produce any more tears; the night had stolen them all away.
"It's okay Chrissy." Matt said softly, sitting on the floor and pulling Chris into his arms.
Stupid, so fucking stupid! Chris berated himself as he sat on the couch hugging his knees again, much like he had last night in the closet. Failure.
Matt stirred, blinking his eyes as the feeling of something missing infiltrated his dreams and tugged him back to consciousness. He turned, dislodging Lucas in the process and sending the small ball of fur to floor with an annoyed yelp. Chris's side of the bed was empty and he got out of bed swiftly; heading to the closet to see if Chris had taken up residence there again. After flicking on the light and seeing that the small alcove was empty Matt peeked into the bathroom before heading down stairs. No lights were on and in the darkness Matt walked right past Chris, a sense of dread starting to creep up his spine and tap at the back of his skull. He started in the kitchen, testing all the doors just in case Chris had wanted to go outside for little bit. All were still locked and instead of reassuring Matt that Chris was somewhere inside the house it only made his fear triple. By the time he made it back into the living room he was panicking, sweat shining on his brow and running down his neck as his imagination started to run away with him. In one last desperate ditch effort he started to yell Chris's name, his mind telling him that it was waste of time; that Chris had just up and disappeared without a trace.
"I-I'm over here."
The soft declaration had Matt whipping around so fast that he lost his balance and crashed to the floor. The feel of the hard wood rushing up to meet his face didn't even register with him. All that mattered to him was that Chris was there and that he was safe. He scrambled to his feet and hurried over to the couch; dropping down and pulling Chris against him tightly, kissing every inch of his face and neck that he could. Chris struggled and Matt let go instantly even though he kept his hands on Chris's arms.
"Are you ok?" He asked; fighting with the urge to pull him close and cover him in kisses again.
"That's a stupid question." Chris said roughly, his throat still raw from his sobbing fit last night. "Grown men don't hide in closets because they're afraid of sex." Chris pulled his hands out of Matt's and curled up again on the couch, scowling into the darkness.
Matt nodded and sat silently, his eyes roaming over Chris' form. Even though he knew that Chris was going to fight, he resituated Chris until his head was resting in his lap, his eyes pointed towards the ceiling. Chris tried to move but Matt placed a hand on his chest.
"Just rest." He said as he started to run his fingers through Chris' hair.
Chris's body was stiff and Matt knew that he was fighting with the urge to run so he did the only thing he could think of. He started to hum snippets of various theme songs, mashing them together until it was just a big train wreck. Slowly Chris started to relax and he shifted, pressing his face into Matt's stomach and wrapping an arm loosely around Matt's waist. As the blond drifted off into a deeper sleep Matt let his mind wander, an idea forming on the very edges and getting more persistent as the minutes slowly ticked by. As the first fingers of dawn spilt into the room Matt drifted off, his fingers still idly stroking Chris's hair.
When Matt awoke some time later he found himself alone on the couch with a cover tossed over him. He heard some movement in the kitchen and he wandered in, rubbing the dried crust from his eyes. Chris was standing at the sink, dish brush in his hand as he finished the couple stray plates they had left there the night before.
"You don't have to do that y'know." Matt said as he wrapped his arms around Chris' waist and laid his head on Chris' shoulder. "I do have a dishwasher." Chris chuckled slightly and turned his head so that he could see Matt.
"I didn't see the point in starting it up for just two plates and two cups."
Matt nodded and dropped a kiss on the back of Chris's neck before going over and rummaging through the fridge for something to drink. As he was straightening up the idea from the middle of the night flashed through his brain and he leaned against the counter as he popped the top on the can of Diet Coke.
"You want to go somewhere this weekend?" He asked as he took a sip of his pop.
"Sure...are you having me committed to an institution?" Chris joked, smiling crookedly and tracing his finger over the wood grain in the table as he plopped down into one of the chairs. "They might make me stay longer than a weekend."
Matt rolled his eyes and smiled.
"Of course not. Besides they might want to keep me. Then where would we be?"
Chris smiled at him and the plan that was only half formed started to gel further. They ate a light lunch then gathered clothes around to pack their suitcases. By early evening they were on their way, cruising way beyond the speed limit, but neither man really cared as the wind blew through their hair. Tentatively Matt reached over and interlaced his fingers with Chris's, squeezing them periodically as they traveled. It was nearing dusk when Matt pulled into the parking lot of his favorite hotel. He looked down at the clock on the dash and grinned over at Chris.
"Best time yet. Just under three hours."
"Not surprising with the way you drive." Chris shot back.
As Chris got out of the car Matt grabbed both suitcases and headed into the lobby, nodding his head to the bellhop as he passed. Chris hung back as Matt haggled for a room, using all his charm on the rather effeminate male behind the counter. In no time at all they were heading up to their room, Matt grinning as he started to really flesh out the idea. It was going to be perfect, a nice 'buddy' night to put Chris at ease and then a recreation of their first date to show Chris that he was still as in love with him as he was that first time. Matt had been so involved in his planning that he didn't notice the questioning looks that Chris was shooting him. They reached their room, Matt holding the door open for Chris and smiling as Chris cracked some joke about it.
Chris flopped onto the bed.
"So, what are you planning in that head of yours Hardy?" Chris asked lacing his hands behind his head and watching Matt move around the room. "What, don't look at me like that. I know when your wheels are turning. You get that sexy constipated look." Chris ribbed, laughing as Matt raised an eyebrow at him.
"I do believe that that is the first and only time I've heard constipation being called sexy." Matt grinned. "But honestly, I'm not planning anything. I was thinking about taking you out to this restaurant that I know. Not very classy but they have some killer food."
"If it was some place classy they wouldn't let you in, assclown." Chris rolled off the bed and went to Matt, holding him close as the dark haired man faked a pout. "Maybe later, I can make it up to you for that little fiasco the other night." Chris looked around the room then turned back to Matt and smiled, though it seemed tinted with a little bit of sadness. "No closet for me to run to here, and I really don't think I could fit in the nightstand...well maybe if you take out the Bible."
He kissed Matt's lips softly, vowing that he was going to do right tonight. It felt like the right timing, it just hadn't came out right that was all, Chris told himself, trying to convince himself that this time there would be no foolish freak-out.
Matt's faked pout turned into a slight frown.
"Chris I didn't bring you here for that." He said seriously. "I'm not worried about that." He ran his hand down Chris's arm; interlacing their fingers and bringing Chris's hand to his mouth where he placed a light kiss to the back. "When the time is right it'll happen. I just figured that you would like some time away from the country. I know you big city Canadian's aren't used to the quiet. Thought you might want human interaction besides me and my father."
"As long as you're around, I don't care where I am...but I am kind of hungry. Maybe I'll eat you up!" With a playful growl Chris bit at Matt's neck; making both of them laugh. He pulled away after a moment, grimacing and licking his lips. "Needs ketchup. I always eat my redneck with condiments."
"You eat everything with ketchup." Matt retorted with a snort.
"Hmm, guess I could use mustard." Chris said as he acted like he was given it serious thought.
Matt shuddered and moved away, making a cross with his fingers and making Chris laugh again. They freshened up a little before heading out, Matt grabbing the room key but leaving the car keys.
"It's not too far." He said when he seen Chris looking at him strangely.
The restaurant was a cute little local place, and Matt's personal favorite was on the menu: sushi. The two of them were quickly seated and were waiting on the waiter; it was packed for being so early in the evening. Soon they were acting childish and blowing straw wrappers at one another. Chris turned when he felt a tap on his shoulder. A young woman was leaning over the booth, blushing to the roots of her dark hair.
"Uh...um excuse me I don't mean to be a bother but, a-are you Chris Jericho?"
Her eyes were wide in excitement and she could barely contain a squeal of delight. Across from her, her red headed friend was watching, laughing as the dark haired girl bounced excitedly.
"Me? No, I'm sorry. You must be mistaken." Chris said, his face serious. "I'm Matt Hardy." He turned away from her and slouched down in his seat, glancing at Matt and waving his finger in a circle next to his head, in a 'she's crazy' sign.
Matt shook his head and looked at the two females, grinning as the red head tried to pull her friend back down into the booth.
"They're normal people, let them eat." She said in hushed tones as she continued to sneak peeks at them both from under eyelashes.
They had just given their order when the two girls walked past the table stopping only to express their appreciation for their ring work and giving them quick hugs before disappearing into the crowd.
"Definitely not the craziest fans I've ever encountered." Matt laughed as he settled down into his seat, nudging Chris's toes under the table.
"Eh, I'm your craziest fan!" Chris shrieked in a high pitched voice. "Oh-my-Gawd! You are like totally amazing! You're my total fav!" Just as Chris launched into his 'mark' impersonation, their waiter came back over with their plates and raised his eyebrows, moving closer to Matt than Chris. He quickly sat the plates on the table and went about his business with other tables, leaving Matt with a facepalm and Chris laughing in the corner of the booth.
"Unfortunately you are not my craziest fan." Matt said as he plucked a piece of sushi up with his fingers. "I had one that sent me a vial of her blood and asked me to mix it with mine so that we could be immortally linked forever." He nodded his head and stuck the seaweed wrapped tidbit in his mouth and chewed as he looked over the table at Chris. "Now that's what I call my craziest fan. You're just my sexiest." He said after he swallowed his mouthful.
"You speak the truth." Chris said, biting into his.
They teased one another throughout dinner, prodding each other's feet or tossing napkins when the other wasn't looking. It was almost as if the separation had never happened; as if Jack had never come between them. Matt smiled and tucked some hair behind his ear that had slipped out, dropping his eyes to his water glass. He was at a loss about what to do after dinner; if they went back to the hotel he was afraid that Chris was going to push himself again and Matt didn't want him to go through the pain he went through the other night. The waiter placed their check on the table and melted back into the crowd. As one they eyed the little slip of paper, flicking their eyes between it and each others' faces. Matt acted as if he was going to lean back but at the last minute reached out and swiped it, laughing when Chris' hand was just two seconds too late.
"Ah, young gwasshopper when you can snatch the check fwom my hand..." Matt said in an exaggerated accent, making Chris laugh again.
Matt thumbed through his wallet and dropped some money on the table, not caring about the change. Me scooted out of the booth and stood over by Chris' side, holding his hand out for him.
"Would you fancy a walk?" He asked, trying to copy Chris's lopsided smirk.
Chris nodded and took Matt's hand, smiling at the familiar warm feeling that seeped up his arm from the simple contact. Matt interlaced their fingers and together they weaved their way through the crowded building. Near the front door were the two girls that had been sitting behind them and Matt waved as they passed, smiling as the dark haired one let out a choke sounding squeal while the red head pounded her on the back in an attempt to help her.
Outside the cool air from the sea kissed their faces, as the rising moon looked close enough for Matt to reach out and pluck from the sky. He started to head down the street, nodding to various people as they passed; his mind set on the perfect place for them spend some quiet time. Soon the boardwalk started to empty as they got further from the town and Matt pulled Chris close, wrapping an arm around his waist and slipping his hand into Chris' back pocket. He pressed a kiss to the side of Chris's head and led them out onto one of the piers that over looked the ocean, positioning Chris so that he was between the railing and himself. Chris stiffened slightly at being boxed in, but Matt brought his hands up and started to knead Chris's shoulders, murmuring softly in his ear.
"This is my favorite spot." Chris started to relax and Matt brought his hands down, resting them lightly on Chris's waist while he rested his head on Chris' shoulder. "If I could, I'd take the moon and put it on a chain for you wear around your neck. I'd give you anything; do anything just to stay like this with you forever. To feel your heart beating beneath my fingers, to feel your breath on my neck as I hold you." Matt felt his throat starting to close up and stopped, feeling embarrassed at the sappy words that seemed to be pouring out of his mouth without so much as a thought.
Chris smiled and traced his fingers over the rough, weathered wood on the railing and breathed deeply, the smell of the beach, ocean, and Matt all mingling into one.
"You already have given me everything, more than I feel worthy of."
He turned to face Matt and leaned against the railing, listening to the rush of the ocean rushing in below to meet the dark beach where the moonlight glittered off the movements of the choppy water, making it seem as though it was filled with winking diamonds. He pulled Matt close and kissed him softly.
"And I like it when you hold me." Chris watched Matt's eyes as they danced in the shadows, looking as beautiful--no even more beautiful--than the sea licking at the pier.
Matt smiled, bringing one hand up to lightly cup Chris's face.
"I like holding you; probably more than I should, and I haven't given you everything; I haven't even came close." Matt kissed the tip of Chris' nose. "It'll take me a life time to do that." Matt laughed and shook his head. "Sorry about that. Don't know what got into me." He pulled Chris in tight for a hug, trying to keep the errant tears that wanted to fall from doing so.
Chris linked his fingers with Matt's and led him back up the pier and down to the beach. The sand was soft underfoot and gave gently beneath their steps as they made their under the pier and towards the shoreline. Chris stopped near one of the supports for the pier and pressed Matt against the cool concrete. The moonlight filtered in through the wood slats of the walk above and made Matt's face seem to glow with stripes of luminescence.
"We could get into some trouble under here..." Chris purred, wrapping his arms around Matt's waist and pressing close to him, nipping at his neck.
Matt laughed and moved them away from the support, walking under the pier until the sand began to get wet and in a few feet give way to the rolling tide. They both sat in the sand just silently watching as the stars shimmered above and reflected onto the moving surface of the water.
Matt reached across the sand and intertwined his and Chris's fingers again, pressing their palms together tightly. Chris looked over and with a devious tilt to his lips moved so that he was sitting in Matt's lap, his legs wrapped around Matt's waist.
"Chris." Matt said, his voice even but his eyes glittering in the star light.
"Matty, I want to do this." Chris said, slanting his lips over his lovers', working his tongue past his lips and prodding Matt's until he participated. After a few minutes the dark haired one pulled away, his breathing ragged.
"Chris, I know you want to do this..." He started.
"You do too. I can feel it." Chris said as he bit his lip and slipped his hand between them. Gently Matt grabbed Chris's hand and brought up to rest on his chest.
"I do, I can't lie. But you're not ready Chrissy." Chris went to interrupt but Matt started talking again before he could. "I know you feel anxious, that you have to do this. But you don't Chris. There is more to our relationship than just sex."
"But you're going to get tired of waiting." Chris said in a small voice. Matt laughed and held Chris close, burying his face in the crook of Chris' neck.
"Chris I'd wait forever for you."
"I know you would...but I don't want to wait anymore." Before Matt could protest again Chris filled the Southerners mouth with his tongue.
Chris' hands found the hem of Matt's shirt and roamed underneath, peeling the fabric away and exposing Matts' rising and falling chest to the cool sea breeze as it rushed in on the waves. His lips moved from Matts' lips over his jaw line, down his neck, tasting the softness of his skin mingling with rough grains of sand and the tang of sweat and sea salt. Matt trembled, his fingers digging into Chris's waist and trying to unsuccessfully move Chris back some.
"C-Chris." He choked out a whine as Chris doubled his attack on Matt's neck; biting the jumping pulse. "N-n-not here."
"Why baby? No ones around..." Chris trailed his fingers through Matts' hair and practically purred, his lips brushing against Matts' ear; his teeth tugging at the lobe.
Matt wanted Chris so bad but he had to put a stop to it. This wasn't why he'd brought Chris to Myrtle Beach; he had brought him so they could do normal--couply things together. He lightly pushed Chris back, swallowing hard as Chris licked his lips and raked his nails gently down his chest.
"I-it's just not the right time." He managed to get out finally, groaning when Chris played with the button on his jeans.
Chris' face fell into a frown and he backed off, sliding down Matts' body and away from him. He pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them, watching over the dark ocean as that sick, anxious feeling tugged at him. He doesn't want you...I told you. Chris said nothing, just rested his chin against his knees, trying to push that thought away. He told himself that wasn't true, but it still picked at the back of his mind. He hated how one minute things could seem so normal and the next, he was in danger of falling off the deep end. He pressed his palms against his ears as if somehow that would help, mentally refusing to let it happen again.
Matt swallowed and got himself back under control before moving over and sitting behind Chris, wrapping his arms around Chris's waist and holding him. Deep in the pit of his stomach he had the feeling that he had just undone all the progress that Chris had made, but he didn't want Chris pushing himself too fast. The last encounter was too fresh in Matt's mind and he hated seeing Chris like that; scared and pulling in on himself. Chris tried to pull away but Matt held tight whispering in his ear.
"Baby the time will be right here soon, and when that time comes it'll be better than before I promise." He dropped a kiss to Chris's neck and laid his head against Chris's, feeling like a villain for crushing the moment.
"Fine, let's just go back then." Chris sighed, standing and turning to walk back up the beach.
Matt stood and brushed the sand from his pants, going back over and snatching his shirt up from the beach. He jogged up behind Chris and turned him around, kissing him hard on the lips before pulling away and smiling boyishly at him.
"Don't be mad. Please?" He asked, holding his breath as he brought his hand up and cupped the back of Chris's head, pulling him close that their lips were almost touching. "I just don't want to hurt you again."
"I'm not mad, and you didn't hurt me. Don't think that. It's just...I need to know that you still want me. I want to feel your skin shiver beneath my touch, I want to...to hear those sounds again, to hear my name on your lips, to know that I can still do that to you...ca-can't I?" Chris' heart started to thump a little faster as fear tried to creep in, that maybe that was the reason Matt was pushing him away, that he couldn't draw those responses from Matt anymore. That maybe the rape had made him undesirable. "Please, please Matty that's all I want—to know that you wa-want me still--" His words were coming faster. "Matt please, just--need to know..." No, it was happening again.
The panic was setting in, the anxiety attacking, his chest tightening, breathing becoming quick and shallow. Chris backed away from Matt as the dark haired man tried to grab his hands and he walked a few feet until the beach turned into concrete sidewalk and he found a bench nearby. Dizzy, Chris rolled onto the bench and tried to calm down, watching as the stars in the sky spun sickeningly.
"Mother fucker!" Chris shouted, angry with himself, he shoved his palms into his eyes and tried to make it stop. After a few moments, it had passed and he sat up slowly, seeing Matt hovering nearby.
Matt knelt down and took Chris' hands in his, biting his bottom lip as he forced himself to say words that he was afraid were going to undo everything they'd worked so hard to get through.
"Alright Chrissy. C'mon then, lets get somewhere where I'm not going to get sand in my ass." Matt said with a small smirk. He stood up and pulled Chris up, pulling him close and pressing Chris' hand over his heart so he could feel it race before starting towards the hotel.
Even though the walk from the hotel to the restaurant hadn't been that long, and the walk from the restaurant to the beach even shorter, it seemed to take forever. Matt kept a hold of Chris' hand the entire way, his palm sweaty as he tried to fight down the panic that wanted to explode. He still wanted to wait, to make sure that Chris was ready for this; but the desperation in Chris's voice pushed his common sense to the back of his mind. In the elevator Matt pulled Chris close and started to tease his neck and throat with light nips and long, slow swipes of his tongue.
"Touch me Chrissy. Please?" Matt breathed in Chris's ear, his hands gripping Chris's waist tightly.
Cautiously Chris ran his hand over Matt's chest, biting his bottom lip as Matt pressed against his hand. He tried to tap back into what he had felt under the pier but there was something about the harsh light of the florescent bulbs that kept it from happening. His fingers trembled as they once more lifted the hem of Matt's shirt; baring his midriff to Chris's blue eyes. Shyly he ran his palm up towards Matt's chest, his eyes starting to glow as Matt shivered and whimpered at the feather light touch. Chris leaned in and pressed his lips to Matt's as his hands kept roaming, eliciting moans and mewls that Chris hungrily swallowed. As the elevator drifted slowly upwards Chris became more bold, biting and nipping at Matt's throat and ear lobe; anything to make the southerner make noise and arch against him.
By the time the elevator reached their floor, Chris was in full control of the situation; having pushed Matt up against the wall and ravished his mouth as his hands went from under his shirt to rubbing teasing circles on the fly of Matt's jeans. Breathlessly Matt started down the hall, groaning when he felt Chris slip his hands into his back pockets and squeeze hard. At the door it took them a while to get it open; mainly because Chris had Matt pressed up against it as he bit at Matt's neck and shoulder blades. Seeing that side of Chris again made Matt smile and he trembled as he thought over what he was going to do once they were closeted inside the room. It was really the only way he could see this working out, and he hoped with Chris's rediscovered dominance that he wouldn't protest. Once inside Matt tossed the room key to the left and kicked the door shut; pulling Chris over to the bed then down on top of him.
"If we're going to do this..." Matt panted, trying to get some sort of control back. "If we're going to do this, you're in charge, completely." He leaned up and ran his tongue over Chris' racing pulse. "I'm at your mercy, command me." He rasped in Chris' ear.
Chris nodded, his eyes still glimmering with a bit of uncertainty. He stroked Matt's bare chest, rediscovering the smooth, hot skin and the way it shuddered under his touches. His hands were steadier than he thought they'd be; only trembling a little as they tugged at Matt's button and dislodged it and slid the zipper down. He slid the rough material down Matt's hips and revealed his muscled, tanned, legs, and tossed the jeans and boxers over his shoulders. He traced his fingertips lightly up Matt's leg soaking up each and every twitch and soft sigh.
Matt fisted his hands in the sheets, forcing himself to stay still as Chris ran his hands over him. Almost innocently Chris' hand ghosted over his already hard length and he bit his bottom lip so hard that it drew blood. His breathing was labored as Chris continued the slow exploration, but there was nothing that Matt would do to stop it; it just felt too amazing after not feeling Chris' soft hands for so long.
"Chrissy...." He breathed as Chris bent and placed a soft kiss over his heart.
"I love you Matty." Chris breathed huskily in Matt's ear, the rough, erotic sound making Matt writhe and moan.
"Oh, o-oh Chris I love you too baby!" Matt gripped the sheets harder, feeling his nails bite into his clenched fingers through the thin material. He'd rather be clutching Chris' shoulders or his wet, slick hair, but he didn't want to seem rough in his actions.
Chris' lips moved hotly up and down Matt's neck, his teeth nipping, his tongue lapping up the taste of his lover. His breaths were coming faster, excitement building and burning. He claimed Matt's lips again, the kiss desperate and deep as both couldn't seem to get enough of clinking teeth and mingling tongues. Matt's lips were left swollen and red, parted and panting, and Chris couldn't help but imagine them wrapping around his cock, the rosy petals soft, wet, and sizzling as they worked their magic. Chris went still and quiet, his face burning red, even though he and Matt had both taken each other orally many times over in the past. The blond chewed his lip and traced small circles over Matt's rising and falling chest.
Matt tried to focus his eyes but was failing; Chris had stolen everything from him with that last kiss. The only thing that pierced his brain at the moment was that Chris had stopped and he fought to put his brain to rights; fearing that Chris had had another panic attack. He took a couple of breaths to calm himself and he closed his eyes; forcing his fevered need back down.
"C-Chris. Are you ok?" His words were breathy and he unclenched one hand and brought it up to Chris's cheek; palming the satiny smooth skin. "Do you want to stop?"
"Yes--I mean no. I mean, no I don't want to stop, and yes I'm okay." He said quietly, running his nails lightly over Matt's chest.
Matt nodded and let his hand trail down Chris' neck and the front of his shirt. He wanted to feel Chris' skin against his but didn't dare make a move that Chris didn't tell him to. It would take so little for this turn out bad and Matt absolutely didn't want to take that risk. He licked at the still bleeding bite and stared up at Chris, his voice ragged.
"Let me undress you, please Chris?" He asked, his voice little more than a breathy whine. He kissed the back of Chris's hand; letting it go and slowly sliding his hands under Chris' shirt. The skin to skin contact--as little as it was--made Matt shiver and he unconsciously tightened his grip
"Undress me then." Chris whispered, the warm touch of Matt's hand against his chest both calming and exciting.
Matt sat up, wrapping Chris' legs around his waist and gently tugged the shirt over Chris' head; laying hot kisses to his chest and throat. With feather light touches he ran his hands--palm down--from Chris's shoulders to his arms then up his chest and over his back. A soft whimper filled the air and Matt wasn't sure if it came from him or Chris. He leaned in and captured Chris's lips, his hands sliding down to anchor themselves around Chris' waist and pull him close; mewling deep in his throat as their skin slid hotly against each other. Chris slipped his tongue into Matt's mouth, his fingers wrapping in Matt's hair to hold him still. He steeled his nerves, telling himself that Matt would stop if he got too overwhelmed.
"Matty..." He said softly against Matt's lips.
"Will you..." The words stuck in his throat and for a moment Chris felt like a blushing virgin.
"Will I what baby?" Matt murmured against the heated flesh of Chris' neck.
"Will you g-g-go down on me?" The innocent way Chris said it made Matt want to laugh, but that particular impulse was buried when Chris arched against him, pressing his imprisoned hard on into his stomach.
"Stand for me love." Matt said, patting Chris' rear lightly.
Once Chris was standing Matt slowly undone his pants, biting his lip and making it bleed more as he pushed the material down Chris' legs and watched it pool at his feet. Matt swallowed and softly ran his hand over the strained fabric of Chris' boxers, his fingers circling the head lightly.
"Remember Chrissy, tell me if you want me to stop."
Chris nodded and watched with blazing eyes as Matt slid from the bed to his knees, pressing open mouth kisses to the still covered organ, puffing breath after hot breath against it until Chris was certain that he'd cum the moment Matt actually wrapped his lips around it. He jumped slightly when Matt curled his fingers around the elastic band of his boxers and slowly inched them down, kissing the exposed skin inch by maddening inch. Soon the boxers joined his pants and he held his breath as Matt teasingly licked the shaft from base to tip, getting it good and wet before sliding it into his mouth. Chris grabbed a handful of Matt's hair, groaning as Matt bobbed a couple of times before taking it all the way down his throat. When he withdrew Matt brought his hands into it and stroked Chris in a gentle twisting motion. He tugged gently on Matt's hair and was rewarded with a moan that sent pleasurable vibrations up his shaft and caused him to surge forwards, gagging Matt with the sudden change.
Chris gripped Matt's hair, closing his eyes, willing himself to be still and allow Matt to adjust. After a moment, Matt's tongue began to move again around the hard, aching, length and Chris whimpered and writhed as the hot wetness consumed him both mind and body. He tried to hold on longer and ride out the feeling but his excitement was overwhelming, as though this was his first time all over again, as stupid as it sounded.
The single word exploded from Chris' lips while something else exploded from Matt's, the thick substance leaking down his chin as he pulled away and started to stand, quickly grabbing Chris around the waist when his knees threatened to buckle. Matt smiled and rolled onto the bed, pulling Chris on top of him, the blonds eyes clouded and rolling with pleasure, his breaths coming in pants.
"We can...we don't have to do any more." Matt offered, his tongue flicking out to lick at his sticky lips.
"I want to do so much more..." Chris gasped as he claimed Matt's lips with a rough, raw, passion that Matt hadn't seen for such a long time.
Matt moaned as his lip tore beneath Chris' desperate movements, the taste of his blood and Chris' seed mingling in both of their mouths. Matt mewled as Chris clawed at his shoulders, his own hands gripping Chris' biceps as he arched up; their slick skin slipping sensuously against one another.
"Chris--Chrissy, we have all night." Matt panted when he broke the kiss to gulp in lungs full of air.
Chris grinned down at him, bending his head to lick the bleeding bite and to clean the excess seed from Matt's chin with long swipes of his tongue. Matt fought to keep his wits about him but Chris was teasing his nipples with his fingers and he had latched onto his neck; his nips becoming hard bites that he soothed seconds later with his tongue. Chris slithered over Matt's body, his hands once again teasing Matt back to attention. With each moment his action were getting bolder and bolder, the anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach diminishing more and more as he lost himself to Matt's body and the unbridled waves of passion that burned between the two of them like a boiling end of summer heat wave. His working fingers were soon replaced with his lips, poised at the head of Matts' cock barely touching as his breath ghosted against the throbbing member, his tongue flicking out to tease and taste.
"Fuck Chris." Matt groaned as he ran his fingers through Chris's soaked hair.
He raised his head slightly and looked down, moaning at the sight of Chris's tongue licking the head with scalding hot strokes. His hips wanted to buck forward and he barely managed to keep them still when Chris took the head in his mouth, lolling his tongue against it as he hummed deep in his throat.
"Chrissy..." Matt panted. Chris pulled back and looked up his eyes gleaming mischievously as he trailed his fingers up and down the shaft.
"Yes Matty?" He whispered, his lips moving feather light against the sensitive skin.
"We really don't have to do this." He whimpered.
Chris smirk grew on his face, his eyes glinting dangerously.
"So you're telling me you don't want my fingers stroking, my hands wrapping tight around your thick cock and jerking it, hard and fast until your leaking and I take you and swallow everything down where its hot and wet...and you're ready to explode like a raging volcano...begging me to finish you--you don't want that?" Chris breathed against Matts' cock, grinning when it made him shiver and arch off the bed.
Matt swallowed; his eyes as wide as a deer caught in the head lights of an on coming tractor trailer. He tried to say something--anything, but all his words died in his throat.
"Matty...I'm waiting." Chris said lowly as he flicked his tongue out and lapped at the tip.
Finally Matt was able to get something out, his voice pitiful and hoarse sounding.
Chris' smirk never left his face and he turned his attention back to the throbbing organ in front of him, a bead of pearlescent precum crowning it already.
"My, my Matty, I don't remember you leaking for me so soon." He teased as he cleaned it away with a dainty touch of his tongue. "Mmm." He murmured, opening his mouth and blowing a hot breath against the head, causing some more of the shining substance to spring forth.
Matt cried out as Chris sheathed him completely; swallowing around him reflexively before releasing it with a wet 'pop'. Chris reared back, running his fingers up and down Matt's inner thighs, reveling in the power that was surging through his veins.
"Chris." Matt whimpered, his hands clenched once more in a death grip on the sheets as he trembled, sweat shining on every surface of his body.
"Yes?" He asked with an arched brow, biting his lip as Matt managed to free one hand from the sheets and grip himself; his fingers gliding up and down his length as he panted.
"Chris please..." He cried out, completely lost already to the raw need that was swirling in Chris' stomach as he watched Matt pleasuring himself.
"I kinda like the view I'm getting." He purred as he ran his palms up and down Matt's legs; feeling the muscles bunch and jump.
Matt moaned and continued to stroke himself, whimpering and pleading with Chris but in his need running the words together until it was one giant incoherent mess. He felt another hand wrap loosely around him, slowing the quick pace he had built up in his desire to find relief.
"Not yet Matthew." Chris commanded; his voice harsh in Matt's ear.
The sudden change in pace made Matt writhe, his head thrashing from side to side as Chris started to dictate the pace; murmuring dirty things in his ear and licking the outer shell.
"Do you know how good you feel Matt? Hmm do you? What about how good you taste?" Chris growled before going down and licking more of his prerelease away then coming back up and thrusting his tongue into Matt's mouth; feeding him his own juices.
In the back of Matt's mind his logical side was screaming at him to put a stop to it, to kill it before Chris got in over his head and freaked out. But that side was soon drowned out by the needy whines and whimpers that were coming from his own throat when Chris pulled away from him completely; leaving him twitching and arching off the sheets.
"Matt..." Chris rasped as he licked his lips, his hands moving up Matts' strong legs as they bucked and spasmed. He moved them further upwards, spreading Matts' legs, fingertips brushing over his entrance. "Do--do you want me?"
Matt grabbed the back of Chris' neck and pulled him down; crashing their lips together and arching up, pressing against Chris as hard as he could.
"Fuck me Chrissy. Make me scream like only you can. It's been so long, I wanna feel you inside of me." He panted, nipping hard at Chris' kiss swollen lips and turning them an even darker red.
Chris groaned when their lips separated and slid his fingers into his mouth, sensually coating them before his hand disappeared lower. He slowly slipped a fingertip inside, teasing, bringing the most wonderful sounds from Matt that had his own cock twitching and aching in response. Despite the maddening need that was roiling inside of him he forced himself to move slow, partially because he wanted to be a tease, but more so because he was starting to feel uneasy. He knew he couldn't let those things control him, to break what was going so perfectly. He focused on Matt and how his body spoke, how it felt, how it responded. His fingers stroked and moved buying time for himself and bringing Matt closer and closer until he knew he had to go on, had to finish it.
You're going to hurt him when you go in, just like you were hurt when--remember how it felt, do you want to do that to your Matty? Are you sick? Are you really that sick.
He moved his fingers out as Matt whimpered, but he had to. His hands were starting to shake and he didn't want Matt to notice and put an abrupt stop to the whole thing. Closing his eyes Chris mentally yelled at the things trying to ruin the moment and lifted Matts' legs to get in better position. Just one move and he would be inside no big deal. Just like before.
"Chris?" Matt whined.
"I-I'm coming." Chris managed to get out, although it sounded less assured than he wanted it to.
He took in a deep breath and held it, and drowning out his clamoring mind, he did it. They were both still for a moment, Chris blinked dumbly, almost failing to realize that he was in, until Matt tightened his muscles around him and they both cried out together. Soon their movements were in synch and steadily rising faster and harder. Matt's stomach coiled, each thrust driving him further and further upwards; his voice rising in pitch until he was screaming hoarsely.
"Chris..." He whined, dropping his legs from the blonds shoulders and wrapping them tightly around his waist. "Baby I'm going to...I'm going to...." Matt howled as his world erupted into a million different colors; his eyes flying open and his fingers biting into Chris' arms.
Chris followed with a hoarse cry of his lovers name from his lips, the feeling so intense, there were no words to describe it, no past experiences to even come close to that one surreal, ecstatic, moment as he emptied again and again into Matt. Breathing was hard to do as he slowly pulled out, feeling dizzy. He just collapsed onto Matts' chest wrapping his fingers in the dark curls and almost crying with joy as their chests rose and fell together.
"Matt, Matty I love you so, so much." Chris murmured again and again, unable to help the tears that washed over his face.
Matt wrapped his arms around Chris, holding him tightly as his heart thundered out of control.
"I love you too Chris." He said quietly, his voice still ragged from his screaming. His eyes started to close, a beautiful fatigue washing through him. He smoothed down Chris' hair and tilted his face up, pressing one last kiss to his lips before he drifted off. "Always and forever." He murmured, one hand rubbing light circles on the back of Chris' head and the other wrapped protectively around Chris's shoulders.
About a month later, both men had run out of their vacation time and found themselves back in a familiar place. Chris and Matt stood in the gorilla area as people moved around them, but they were only focused on one another. There had been some drastic changes in their absence. Jack had been let go, still denying any wrong doing and trying to pin it all on Jeff and Glen. Both men had been thoroughly chewed out by Vince, the older man extremely disappointed in the actions of his stars. Glen then hooked up with Mark; both men working through some problems of their own and mending something that no one even knew existed. Jeff still wasn't Chris' number one fan but his eyes had been opened to the true depth of Chris's feelings for his brother and he and Jessica came around often when they had time to themselves. And now, Chris seemed to be back to his self, standing there looking dashing and sexy in a new set of trunks and matching boots, extra glitter as he had commanded.
"So, do you think I'll tear the roof off?" Chris scoffed, twirling a strand of Matts' chocolate hair around his finger.
"You'll be amazing, as always." Matt smiled as he watched Chris' amazing cobalt eyes sparkle, their trademark cocky glitter back and strong.
"I know I will, assclown." Chris snorted, rolling his eyes, making Matt laugh.
The dark haired man pressed a kiss to Chris' lips and reveled in the simple, soft feel. Matt took the blonds hands in his and Chris gazed over the scars that still remained on his hands, reminders of how he and Matt had once been torn apart just like he'd torn his own flesh. However, a simple band glistening gold on his finger--and its twin hugging Matts--were different symbols that were stronger than any scars. Those two rings were testament to the unbreakable bond that melded their bodies together as one, and linked their mended hearts eternally.