In the dark room, with only flickering candles to light it, sat a group of four very annoyed men.
"Where is the final chapter?" a young, tall and extremely handsome Sirius Black moaned.
"I think the Author has died," George said brightly. "Ah well, that means no more being stuck in this dark room with that insufferable git!" George pointed to Draco Malfoy, slumped in a chair, bored.
"I'm not here because I want to be, blood traitor!"
"Where would you rather be? Canoodling with Hermione? Or perhaps Harry's more to your taste?" Fred Weasley asked with a sly grin.
Draco's wand was in his hand faster than you can spell Super cali fragilistic expialidocious (which in this author's case is a bloody long time!)(Fanfic wouldn't allow it as one work D: !).
"Wanna say that again Weasley?" Draco demanded, angrily.
Boredly, Sirius twisted his gaze to Draco. "Malfoy, you would only get worked up if it were true. The question is, which part is true?"
"Shut it, Black, unless you wanna die again?"
"Oooh, tough man!"
"Guys, shut up!" Dressed in a full length medieval dress, the author walked into the room. "Seriously, you four are constantly at it. Why can't you be more like the South Park boys and like, make out?"
The four Harry Potter characters stared at her in disbelief.
"Anyway, I have travelled here today to bring news to my fantastic readers. First, I'd like to say, yes, I suck. Badly. I promised the final chapter fairly quickly (well, I didn't promise, but I hinted). And now… God only knows how much later, I enter the room empty handed *ducks rotten fruit*. Alas, I deserve a spell in the stocks, but then I wouldn't be able to finish the final chapter and you would have to wait even longer.
"My excuses are few and far, but mainly relate to extreme laziness and writes block. I know what happens in the final chapter. I've known since I started this fic. It's writing it down that's the problem. I've tried, of course. And I shall keep trying.
"The other excuse is my life. Between work and going out… well… I've had a lot of time to write *fails miserably*.
"But know, dear, loyal, lovely, kind, darling readers, that my thoughts go out to you in these hard times. And know that I am doing my very best to get the final chapter to you. If things go my way (which they rarely do) it should be up soon. SOON, pray tell you!
"So please, douse the flaming torches and bear with me. I'll try and make it worth the wait, or your money back! What's that? You didn't give me any money? Then it's all mine! Mine I tell thee!" Author walks away, laughing madly.
Sirius, Draco, Fred and George stare after her.
"Is it just me, or does she get weirder every time?" George asked, finally breaking the silence.