Author's Note: First NCIS Fanfiction! This idea bugged me for a while and demanded to be written… Spoilers for Season Six and Judgment Day.

I do not own NCIS. I do not own Comedy Central. I've dreamed about owning NCIS, but dreams are so illusive....


It started off as every other Friday at NCIS for Tony; pick on McGee, get head slapped, pick on and flirt with Ziva, receive Gibbs glare, go find dead guy, movie quote, movie quote, a 'Shut the hell up' order from Gibbs, go down to Abby's lab, movie quote, see Ducky, movie quote, head slap, discover new information that reveals the true bad guy just before something big happens, followed by a gigantic gunfight where the bad guy dies, go get drinks with Abby and Jimmy and complain about their love lives. On occasion the company would vary, adding in Ziva and McGee, and once in a blue moon Gibbs and Ducky, and the topics would change, but that was what he got that day. Tony didn't mind, really. Jimmy was a good friend, no matter how often Tony denied it, and nothing could ever get boring around Abs. All in all, it was what he expected for the day.

He didn't expect anything out of the ordinary to happen. He didn't expect to come to the conclusion that he was crazy.

But that's what happened, anyway.

It was twelve thirty in the morning when Tony stumbled into his mess of an apartment after taking a cab from the bar. The whole way home, he could not help but feel he was being watched. He mentioned it to the cabby, who replied with, "Well, you're pretty damn drunk, so don't blame me if I don't believe you." It lead to some strange argument-slash-conversation that somehow ended up about Tony's shoes, and almost the entire conversation had already been forgotten. Still, Tony could not ease his paranoia. He locked the door with the deadbolt and tried to shrug it off. He flopped onto the couch and turned on the television, putting on some late night comic from Comedy Central. Soon he fell into a light sleep, which was disrupted seventeen minutes later when someone pounded on his door.

"'M comin!" Tony groaned as he sluggishly made his way to the door. He rubbed his eyes, undid the deadbolt, and turned the door knob. Standing on his door step was the last person he could imagine.

Jenny Sheppard, covered in blood, looked Tony in the eye. She looked different from when she was his boss; She looked older, tired. She had a new scar running down her face, and her red hair was dyed brown. Tony thought he was going to faint.

"You... You're dead," He stated, dumbfounded. She simply brushed past him and into his apartment.

"No, I'm not, I'm very much alive." She spat as she turned around to look at Tony. "And I'd like to keep it that way." Tony continued to stare at her, positive that the alcohol had screwed up his brain. He had seen her corpse, felt her lifeless wrist as he checked for a pulse. Hell, he even put her in the body bag!

"You're dead," He said again. She ignored him.

"Tony, I need you to hide me." Jenny commanded. He was not sure if it was from shock, fatigue, alcohol, or a combination of the three, but that was when Tony fainted.


At seven thirty in the morning, Tiny heard a faint buzzing noise. He simply grunted and pulled a pillow over his head. When the noise got louder, he sighed and opened his eyes. He realized he was on his couch, with a blanket pulled over him. Strange, he didn't get a blanket... He glanced at his television, the source of the noise. He flipped it off, and suddenly his head was filled with images of Jenny.

Standing in his door. With brown hair. Bloody. Asking to be hidden.

"You were dreamin', DiNozzo..." He muttered to himself, sitting up. "Just a dream... From too many drinks last night..." He tacked the last part on as his head started to pound. He let the pain show in his face, confident no one would see it as he surveyed his apartment. To his surprise, the woman who haunted his dreams that night was sitting in a chair in his 'kitchen.'

"Do you always talk to yourself, Tony?" She asked. He let out a yelp and jumped off the couch.

"You're dead!" He replied. Jenny rolled her eyes; it was all she had heard him say since she came.

"You know, Tony, you could say something else... And I'm not dead."

"Yes, you are!" He almost yelled. "We found your corpse! You didn't have a pulse! That's sort of hard to fake, Jenny!" She smiled.

"With the right drugs it's not." She stated simply. Tony shook his head.

"You are not here. You're dead. I'm hallucinating..." He muttered, and had an unpleasant epiphany. "Crap. I've gone crazy..."

"Or," She started. "I faked my death, went underground, and need you to hide me." She offered. Tony shook his head 'no.' Jenny sighed, wondering just how long it would take her to convince Tony it was her.

"Or maybe, I'm just thinking that so I don't realize I'm nuts!" He responded. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I never thought I'd go insane... Well, not 'I see dead people' insane. Maybe cuckoo like Harvey Dent in Batman: The Dark Knight, if Ziva, McGee, Abby, Gibbs, Ducky and Jimmy all got blown up or something, but definitely not this sort of crazy!" Jenny rolled her eyes, as Tony's brain went from 'panic' mode to 'movie reference' mode seamlessly.

"You're not even going to consider that I'm real, are you?" She asked. Once again, Tony shook his head 'no.'

"If you were real, you'd go to Gibbs or Ducky or Ziva or someone- anyone- but me..." Tony sighed, and looked at her sadly. "It'd make no sense for you to hide behind the man who let you die..." Tony slunk down onto the sofa. Jenny got up and walked over to him, seeing how suddenly depressed he got. She could barely see his eyes, but could see them glazed over, and in mental pain.

Tony was reliving when he and Ziva found Jenny at the restaurant. The hollow look on the director's face never left him, and he blamed himself every time he thought about her. He learned to think about her less and less, but it still hurt. The pain of blaming himself was similar to the pain of Jeanne leaving, although Tony was not in love with Jenny. He glanced to his side, seeing the woman whose face haunted his for so long look back at him in concern.

"I'm not going to imagine you away, am I?" He asked, feebly. Jenny slightly shook her head 'no.' Tony sighed, leaned back, and did his best to make a joke, like always. He refused to let people see him vulnerable, even from a young age. "So I'm crazy. Big deal. Crazy people have more fun." He forced a smile. Jenny was getting irritated.

"You're not crazy, DiNozzo. I faked my death, and now I have to hide from someone else who wants me dead. Gibbs' house is probably bugged by now, seeing that he doesn't have a single lock in his house, Ducky knows I'm alive but they would expect me to g to him, and Ziva is a lot more paranoid of the paranormal. She'd shoot me on sight if she's as stubborn as you about me being dead," Jenny explained. "Do you believe you're not crazy yet, Tony?" The man feigned a thoughtful look.


"Damn you," She cursed at him. Tony just smiled at her in return. "I'm going to stay here until no ones' after me. Don't bring home company without calling ahead so I can hide," Jenny demanded. Tony sighed.

"So I won't see you outta here?" He asked, "And not around people?" Jenny nodded. "Okay; so my mind won't let me see dead people out of my apartment." He stated as he got up and walked into the kitchen. Jenny still sat on his sofa, and yelled back at him.

"You're not crazy!" He took no notice of her as he rummaged around his kitchen area, and finally withdrew a small plastic container with a lid out of a backup NCIS investigation kit- he had several floating around his apartment. Taking the container, he headed towards the bathroom. Jenny couldn't help but follow him out of curiosity. She stood in the doorway as he unzipped his pants.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked, as Tony set the container on the toilet seat.

"Urine sample. See if someone put something in one of my drinks or something," He said as he filled up the small cup. Jenny was disgusted. "Hallucinogens or something. Gonna tell Abby... I dunno... Probably the truth, but I'm sure she'd run it under someone else's name. Vance doesn't like me- if there were drugs in my piss, he'd fire me so fast my head would spin." Tony smiled, put the lid on the container and washed his hands.

"Do you ever close doors?" Jenny asked, still disgusted that he peed in a cup in front of her.

"It's not like you're real- Besides, you watched. That says a lot more about you than me," Tony retorted.

"I thought you thought you were imagining me," She smirked, thinking he was finally accepting she was alive.

"I am." He said simply. "Get out. I need to shower, unless you wanna watch that, too." He asked, suggestively. She walked away, even more disgusted, as he expected. Just as well- she was the last woman he would want to be in any sort of romantic relationship with. Tony stripped naked and got into the shower. He noticed traces of blood around the drain. He assumed Jenny must have taken a shower, and he was imagining the blood. He sighed and let the water run over him, washing away the bar stench lingering from the night before.

"Am I really crazy?" He asked himself quietly. Deep down, he doubted it. However, he was positive Jenny was dead, and refused the even consider the woman would fake her death when he was supposed to protect her. Tony admitted that she had used him plenty of times, with nothing for him to show other than what had to be a permanently broken heart, another obscenely close brush with death, and a deep hatred of a certain CIA agent...

To Tony, believing he had gone crazy was much less painful than believing she was still alive.


Author's Note: Sort of angsty, and a little out of character, I fear. And I don't think Tony would insist he's crazy in the show, but I took the artistic license I needed here.