Noone hate me! I didn't mean for the story to turn out this dark, it just happened, it needed to happen for the ending I planned. So I'm sorry Jeffro-lovers, I love him too, don't hate me!
Randy inhaled deeply, looking down at the ground. He adjusted the tie on his black tux. Everyone had left hours ago, but he just stood there… standing over the tombstone. He looked up at the sky, trying not to cry. Just two days after Jeff's death, he had gone to the doctor, only to discover that he, too, had gotten HIV. He hated the thought, but knew one thing… it was a part of Jeff that he'd always have with him… he hung his head, closing his eyes.
"Uh… I feel real stupid right now…" He whispered, looking up at the setting sun. "But, I wanted to say a few things before I completely let you go…" He opened his eyes, kneeling down, putting a hand on the stone statue that read Jeff's name and birthdate to death date. "I'm sorry for all the things I never said to you… I'm sorry that when I never showed you enough attention, even when deep inside, I wanted too, I just was scared to let you in." He bit his lip. "I'm sorry that I should've known you would do this." He blinked out a tear, quickly wiping it away.
"I'm sorry that this is all my fault." His voice cracked slightly and he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry that I took so long to tell you I loved you, when in reality, I loved you from day one." His eyes slipped closed again. "I'm sorry for always talking down to you because of your age, when truly, you were the smartest person I've ever known." He sniffed, wiping under the bridge of his nose, rubbing his hand over the tombstone. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, when I promised you'd never be hurt again." He took a piece of paper out of his pocket.
"But mainly, I'm sorry that our time together wasn't long enough. I'm mad that you left me, mad at the gift you left me with, but mostly mad because I would've taken that gift before you did this, but now, I don't want it, and have no choice." He fumbled with the crumpled up piece of paper. "I love you and hate you at the same time, but boo, the love overpowers any other emotion I can feel right now. My love for you overpowered all that sorrow, anger, and hate." He set the piece of paper down in front of the grave.
"Jeff, I love you more than anything, and I think you always knew that… but baby, right now I can't take thinking about you all the time… so, Jeff, this is the last time I will ever think about you. As much as I love you, if I don't let you go, I'll be with you in a shorter amount of time then I want to be." Randy adjusted his cuffling, noting the deep, dark scars that covered his arms, from what he'd been doing while thinking about Jeff. "So this is it… I can't keep doing this… I need to go on with my life, and I wish I could tell you to do the same." He sniffed. "You were a beautiful, kind spirit, and you'll always be in my heart, but no longer in my mind." He stood up, brushing his knees off. "I love you, Jeffrey Nero." He sighed, turning, with one final glance at the resting place of his former lover, and began walking back to his car, never to think about Jeff again, but always to have a place for him in his heart.
I loved you, you made me hate me.
You gave me hate, see?
It saved me.
And these tears are deadly.
It was my heart, was my life.
And these lungs have sung this song for too long!
It's true, I hurt too, remember?
I loved you.
I lost it all, fell today, it's all the same.
I'm sorry, oh,
I'm sorry, no.
And I've been abused, I feel so used, because of you.
I wish I could've quit you.
I wish I never missed you.
And told you that I loved you,
Everytime I fucked you.
The future that we both drew,
And all the shit we've been through.
Obsessed with the thought of you,
The pain just grew and grew!
How could you do this to me?
Look at what I made for you.
It never was enough and the world is what I gave to you.
I used to be lovestruck, now I'm just fucked up.
Pull up my sleeves and see the patterns of my cuts.
Seems like all we had is over now,
And left to rest.
Your tears are dried up now,
You just lay without a sound.
My fears are over now,
I can leave with my head down.
Thank you for reading! Lyrics courtesy of Hollywood Undead, not mine! Once again, sorry to any Jeff fans out there! Hope you liked it despite the dark ending! Now I have plans for some new stories and getting to work on some old ones!