This is my first attempt at a full fanfic story so please go easy on me. I hope you like. I am usually Team Edward but I thought it might be fun to play with Jasper for a bit. Please review and if you like I'll keep going although I'll probably keep going even if you don't like as I am having too much fun!

***Disclaimer – you all know I own nothing!


I was late … why was I always running late? I got up early, not that I ever really sleep well, I hardly ate breakfast and I lived a block from campus. But, somehow, I always seemed to be running to catch up.

It was cold and rainy but what else was new? I'm in Alaska for crying out loud… I never saw the sun and that suited me just fine. I was used to it as Forks was always damp and dreary. It wasn't like the sun would warm my heart anyway … it wasn't as if I even want to be warm.

I had been at the University of Alaska for a year now and was entering my sophomore year. I was actually a bit ahead of schedule since I took some summer courses. It was the first day of the fall semester and I was really not looking forward to all the new faces I would see in my classes. I didn't like meeting new people and I liked making small talk even less. I promised Charlie, my father, that I would change, try to be better, but I had no desire to "snap out of it" as he put it. Since I had moved here I'd only been back to see him three times. I dreaded going back to Forks as my life there didn't turn out exactly as I had planned or even exactly how some had seen.

The months leading up to my eighteenth birthday were pure bliss but I never thought about those months … I couldn't. I only remembered what came after … those dark days that turned into weeks, months and eventually a full year. I moved through my senior year of high school a former shell of myself doing what I had to do to get through and graduate. In the process I shut out everyone and everything that mattered to me as it was the only way I could survive. I tried to be as normal as I could for Charlie, but he saw right through me, and I think the only reason he agreed to let me move to Alaska was so that he could get away from me. Life had gotten a little better for me since I'd been here. No reminders of the past except maybe for the lack of sun and for some strange reason that seemed to comfort me.

Somehow I made it to the building on time! First class of the day… History of the American Civil War. Something drew me to this class, but I wasn't sure what. I was majoring in Psychology, ironic I know, but maybe someday I would be able to analyze myself. In any case, I needed to take a few courses that the University felt would provide for a well rounded education, and this class was on the list and for some reason I was automatically drawn to it.

I quickly walked into the lecture hall and found a seat on the end and in the back. The less people I came in contact with the better. Most people were already in their seats and were beginning to settle down as the professor took the podium. Just before the lecture began one last student briskly walked in and hurried down the aisle. As he passed by me a very cool breeze came with him, and I felt a strange but familiar chill run down my spine. Odd. I pulled my jacket up around my neck.

I must say that I was totally intrigued with this point in history and found it quite fascinating. What must it have been like for these soldiers to go off and fight a war against their own brothers? I had learned about this in high school but I never really had an opinion one way or the other. The hour passed by quickly and I found myself sorry it was over.

As I gathered my belongings and started toward the aisle I tripped probably over my own feet and spilled my books onto the floor. How embarrassing … I hoped no one was looking. I kept my head down and quickly began to retrieve them. Someone bent down and began helping me. As I looked up I was stunned into shock. It couldn't be. I was hallucinating again after almost a year, and this time it wasn't who I normally saw; a pair of the most beautiful golden eyes were staring back at me. I couldn't move as I was locked in his gaze. How could he be here? I continued to stare. Then my hallucination spoke.