Written for the NFA Smiley Challenge
Disclaimer: All names and trademarks recognised as "NCIS" do not belong to me; I've just borrowed the characters for the purpose of this story.
Characters: Team, Aliens
Genres: Gen, Humour, Sci-Fi
Word Count: 2,021 words
Summary: The team has a strange encounter. Written for the NFA Smiley Challenge.
A/N The Latin is thanks to an online translator. If it is not correct, please let me know.
Inspired by two smilies: alien spaceship and flying smiley.
"Boss, where are we going?" McGee asked as he, and the rest of the team, trampled after Gibbs.
Gibbs shrugged. "Something to do with a Navy disturbance. I don't know what about."
"I know that, but . . ." McGee replied.
"That's all I know, McGee," Gibbs snapped.
"Great, we could be going on a wild duck chase," Ziva sighed, frowning.
"Goose, Zee-vah, goose. Wild goose chase," Tony corrected, sounding kind of irritated.
Gibbs and the team had been walking for half-an-hour, lunging crime scene equipment with them. The clearing where their supposed disturbance was was somewhere a car could not access.
"Are we there yet?" Tony whined ten seconds later.
Ziva rolled her eyes as Gibbs slapped him on the back of the head and remarked, "Are you five or something, DiNozzo?"
Tony rubbed the back of his head. "I'm sick of walking."
"Suck it up, DiNozzo. The exercise is good for you," Gibbs replied casually.
Ziva sniggered and McGee did nothing to hide his grin. Tony harrumphed, turned up his nose at his two fellow agents and muttered something under his breath.
"It should be just up ahead," Gibbs announced. He pointed to a position just over a hill . . . a steep hill. Gibbs grinned as he saw Tony's expression.
"You've got to be joking . . ."
Finally, after much complaining by Tony, the team ascended the hill and arrived at the top. Tony was panting, prompting Ziva to smirk.
"Are we a bit out of shape, DiNozzo?" she asked sweetly. She looked unfazed by the trek.
Tony glared at her. "We can't all be super ninjas."
Ziva shrugged and pointed to McGee. "McGee and Gibbs seem fine."
"Well . . ." Tony tried to retort. "Gibbs is a Marine . . . and Probie . . . is . . . uh . . ."
"More in shape than you," Gibbs finished, stepping past Tony. "Perhaps you should join a gym."
"Or get a personal trainer like me," McGee suggested.
"Or stop eating all that rubbish and go for a run," Ziva added.
Tony made a face at his team and pouted. "Thanks for the advice, guys," he replied sarcastically.
Ziva smiled innocently. "It is the least we can do, Tony. We do not want you kneeling over on us."
"Ha-ha, very funny," Tony muttering, giving Ziva is best Gibbs' glare.
"Be quiet, DiNozzo," Gibbs ordered and then said, "This should be the place."
"I don't see anything," McGee commented, gesturing to the wide open space where their disturbance was meant to be.
"No kidding." Tony rolled his eyes.
"Are you sure this is the right place?" Ziva questioned.
"Yes," Gibbs replied curtly.
"Well, if the tip was correct," McGee started and pointed directly in from of him, "then . . ."
McGee was interrupted. As he was speaking, something started to appear in front of them, from thin air. It was though an invisible blanket was being pulled back.
"What the hell?" Gibbs said slowly, gobsmacked.
Tony, McGee and Ziva didn't answer. They, too, were watching as the invisible machine became visible, and their mouths were hanging open.
After about ten seconds, the entire thing was visible. The team stood in shock as they took in the silver cone shaped thing.
"Is that . . .?" Ziva breathed.
"It's . . ."
"It's . . ."
"A joke," Tony laughed, sounding very unsure and slightly hysterical.
McGee nodded rapidly. "A joke, yes, a joke."
"But . . . it just appeared. Forgive me if I am wrong, but that is not usually possible," Ziva pointed out.
Tony shrugged weakly. "Special effects, maybe."
Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Or it could be an alien spaceship."
"Boss," Tony squeaked, as though Gibbs had said something taboo. "Aliens don't exist."
"I wouldn't tell it that." Gibbs pointed to a little yellow thing hovering above the ship.
Tony yelped, Ziva swore and McGee dropped everything he was holding.
"No freaking way," Tony said shakily. He closed his eyes and shook his head.
"It's . . . it's not possible," McGee said dumbly, eyes wide. "It can't be real."
Gibbs shrugged. "Seems pretty real to me."
"What about the disturbance?" Ziva asked, trying to hold onto some thread of saneness.
Gibbs opened his mouth to reply, but the alien-thing got in first. In a high-pitched squeaky voice, it said as it flew down, "Florien comes in peace."
McGee, Ziva and Tony gaped. The alien creature was about the size of a soccer ball, bright yellow and had arms that could be only described as twigs and leaves. It had a grin on its face. And it was flying . . . It was flapping its little branch arms and actually flying.
"Florien comes in peace," it repeated as it stopped and hovered near Tony's face. Tony yelped and flailed his arms around, as though he was swatting a fly.
Florien looked sad. "Florien detects that earthling does not like Florien. Florien is sad."
Tony squeezed his eyes shut and mentally banged his head against a brick wall. He was dreaming. He had to be.
"It is kind of cute," Ziva remarked, cocking her head to the side.
Florien's frown turned into a grin and it flapped over to Ziva. "Florien detects that earthling likes Florien. Florien is happy."
"It's a giant, oversized, flying yellow bug. It is not cute." Tony waved his arms to emphasise his point.
"Florien detects hostility," Florien said, turning away from Ziva. "Hostile threat must be exterminated."
Tony's eyes widened and he stumbled backwards. "Wha . . .?"
Despite everything, Ziva smirked. "Perhaps if you did not insult it . . ."
"I did not insult it," Tony replied hotly.
"Could've fooled me, DiNozzo," Gibbs commented. He paused. "Apologise."
"Wha . . ."
"Apologise to the nice alien, DiNozzo."
"But it is an alien." Tony stressed the word alien.
"So?" Gibbs shrugged.
"So? So! It's not real. This is not real," Tony said frantically, trying to convince not only the others, but also himself.
"I think you hurt its feelings again," McGee pointed out as Florien advanced on Tony.
"Okay! Okay!" Tony held up his hands and surrendered. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Florien looked at Tony with contempt. "Florien accepts. But little male earthling should learn to his keep his mouth shut."
"Perceptive little thing, is it not," Ziva smirked. McGee nodded.
"So what brings you here?" Gibbs asked. "Are there more of your . . . kind . . . more Floriens?"
"I am Florien, but Florien's brothers and sisters are known as Crocusfelicisvisio," Florien corrected.
"Crocowhat?" Tony stumbled over the name.
"Crocusfelicisvisio," Florien repeated quickly.
"Crocuvisio?" McGee tried.
"Crocusfelixsio?" Ziva tried that time.
"Crocusfelicisvisio," Gibbs said easily.
Florien grinned. "Earthling is correct. Florien is impressed."
Tony shook his head. "Now that we have established that, uh, Florien is a Crocfelicivisio or whatever . . . what on earth are you doing here? Literally."
"Florien's ship is broked," Florien sighed. "Florien cannot fix."
Gibbs looked to McGee. "McGee's a tech. He can help?"
"I can . . . what?" McGee looked startled.
"Help the alien fix his spaceship, McGee," Gibbs ordered as McGee opened and closed his mouth like a fish.
"But . . . but . . ." McGee spluttered.
"Fix the spaceship," Gibbs repeated.
"Yeah, McAlien, fix the spaceship," Tony teased.
"I can't fix a spaceship!" McGee cried.
Gibbs shrugged. "Who said?"
"Me! Computers and spaceships are not the same thing!"
"Both have little . . . board-y things that do stuff," Gibbs said. "It can't be that different."
McGee looked pale. "But . . ."
"Just fix the damn machine, McGee," Gibbs sighed, sounding annoyed.
Florien piped up and said, "Florien knows what is wrong with his broked ship. It needs fuel." Florien's face fell. "Only Florien does not know what his ship needs."
"How can you not . . ." Tony started, but was cut off when Ziva kicked him in the shin. He rubbed his shin and glared at Ziva, who smiled back innocently.
"Perhaps you can describe the fuel. Maybe we know what it is," McGee suggested, thankful that he didn't have to actually go in the spaceship.
Florien looked thoughtful, or as thoughtful as a yellow soccer ball could be. "Florien believes that is it liquid. Wet."
"Oh, that narrows it down to about three bazillion different substances," Tony said sarcastically.
"Clear," Florien continued, as though Tony had never spoken. "Florien believes that earthlings enjoy it."
"I think I need some Vodka," Tony muttered to himself.
"Perhaps, but Florien also knows that earthlings splash in it," Florien finished.
"You don't swim in Vodka," Tony said, looking confused.
"No, you idiot." Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Water."
"Oh. Oh. Good point, boss."
"Yes!" Florien crooned. "Florien believes that it is this wat-er."
"Excellent," Tony grinned, though fake. "Let's give the man-alien some water."
"How much do you need?" McGee asked as Ziva fished around for a drink bottle in the equipment bags.
"Oh, Florien does not need much at all." He gestured and moved his wing-hands to simulate a size that looked about a cup. "Florien and his Crocusfelicisvisio believe very much in green travel."
"Of course you do," Tony said under his breath. "Earth saving aliens."
"Will this be enough?" Ziva held up a plastic bottle of water.
Florien nodded vigorously. "Florien believes so."
"But how . . ." McGee started to question, but was interrupted by Ziva gasping as the water bottle floated out of her grip and over to Florien.
"Cool," McGee commented.
"Florien must now distil the wat-er," the alien said. He flew up to the top of the spaceship and descended into the body of it.
Once Florien had disappeared from sight, Tony turned to the others and said, "I think we're hallucinating, dreaming perhaps. That or Abby spiked the coffee with Caff-Pow."
"Maybe . . . ouch." Tony felt Ziva pinch his arm.
"I was just checking to see if you were dreaming, Tony," Ziva explained. "And you are not."
"Then we're high," Tony reasoned.
"On what?" McGee asked.
Tony shrugged. "I dunno. Something."
"Or we could just be encountering an alien," Gibbs offered plainly.
Tony considered it for a moment, and then shook his head. "There's no way . . ."
The spaceship rumbled and rose, making all four agents jump, and Florien floated down.
"Florien has fixed Florien's ship," he announced, but looked sad. "Florien must go now."
"Oh, tragedy," Tony said to himself.
"Florien muchly liked meeting earthlings," Florien grinned. "Florien thinks earthlings are much smarter than he thought . . . except for that one." He pointed to Tony.
"Florien must go now," the yellow alien said sadly. "Florien thanks Earth and its earthlings."
"Uh, you're welcome?" McGee replied, uncertain.
Florien waved and instead of flapping back to the top, floated underneath the ship. He looked he looked up and a bright yellow light shone down.
"Goodbye, earthlings!" he called, and waved his branch-hands.
Stunned, Gibbs and the team waved back. They watched as Florien gave them one last huge smile and watched as the alien disappeared inside the ship. Immediately, the spaceship took off and disappeared into thin air.
All four agents blinked.
Then Tony said weakly, "I was waving at a yellow smiley soccer ball."
"I believe you were," Gibbs replied, transfixed to the spot where Florien's ship has disappeared from.
Tony shook his head in disbelief. "I've gone crazy."
"Crocusfelwhatis? What kind of name is that?" Tony asked about a minute later. He still looked slightly shocked.
"I think you will find that it is Latin for . . ." Ziva paused. "Yellow happy face."
"Of course it is," Tony muttered dryly.
"Let's go," Gibbs said abruptly, snapping out of his reverie.
"But what about . . ." McGee questioned.
"False alarm," Gibbs replied immediately.
Ziva nodded. "Right."
"Let's get out of here, then," Tony urged after an awkward silence.
As they walked back down the hill, Tony pulled a face and asked, "Are you sure Abby didn't spike the coffee with Caff-Pow?"