Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor do I profit from Bleach. I only do this as a fan.
Ichigo leaned back and exhaled feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted after telling his/her family the entire truth about past recent events. Ichigo tilted his/her head looking at the expressions on their faces. The three resembled the famous painting of the scream except with tea cups in their hands. Then again the information that he/she had just dropped on them was the equivalent of a 2,000 lb anvil falling from an abandoned space station onto their heads. With a shrug of his/her shoulders Ichigo and figured that they would get over it eventually.
Renji had remained silent while Ichigo explained the long chapter versions of his life recently. He surely would have fallen asleep except for the chill of murderous intent from Ichigo's father. Renji had a feeling that man knew way more than he let on and it just pissed him off that Isshin would keep so many secrets from Ichigo. With a pop of a light bulb above his head an idea formed. One that would let Ichigo see who his father really was and put Renji's boredom to rest for a few minutes.
Wrapping a strong arm around Ichigo's now shapely waste Renji pulled the strawberry blonde close to him.
"What the hell are doing?" Ichigo asked while trying to break free of the strange grip.
Renji bit back the laugh in his throat. "Awe; come on baby we don't have to hide our love from your family."
"Ahh, it is just like a page from a boy love manga." Inoue whispered to Ulquiorra while clapping silently in thrill.
Inoue, Ulquiorra and Nemu had been eavesdropping on the conversation since the start.
Ulquiorra scratched his nose in thought.
"Are they a gay couple? Ichigo is a woman now. So technically they are just a normal couple. I think?"
Nemu tapped her lip recalling a scene from her past.
"My master often said that if it is just oral sex from a man then it is not gay."
Both Inoue and Ulquiorra gave the female a strange look for the off handed remark.
"No, I am pretty sure that is considered gay since the one with a penis in his mouth also has a penis." Ulquiorra said.
Inoue twitched her nose. "Well, I mean a guy can't tell the difference in feeling if closes his eyes or…"
"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THE DOOR BEFORE I KICK ALL YOUR ASSES!" Ichigo screeched.
Just as Ichigo was about to jump up and charge at the door he/she caught the darkening expression of his/her father. Ichigo had fought Isshin for years, but never had the man held that look. Ichigo looked at Renji who was finally releasing him. The sound of cracking knuckles drew every ones attention to Isshin once more as he stood firm and strong. His Aura burst all around the room as he sought to protect his new daughter's honor.
"I DO NOT APPROVE! I DEMAND YOU PROVE YOUR WORTH!" Isshin screamed pointing at Renji.
Ichigo's face went hollow white at the words Isshin had just spewed from his mouth.
"Look old man neither of us wanted this in the first place and besides we are already married." Ichigo shrugged
"Not here. Not in this realm. You are not married here." Isshin said haughtily crossing his arms like a child.
Ichigo tilted his/her head and looked at Renji. "Is that true?"
Renji scratched his chin trying to recall any kind of rule like that, but he truthfully didn't know.
Isshin puffed out his chest. "It is true, just like having girlfriends in different dimensions is not really cheating."
Inoue frowned and looked at Ulquiorra. "You better not even think about it mister."
Ulquiorra rolled his eyes. "Yes, because every woman wants a pregnant man."
"I challenge you. If you are able to defeat me then I will hand Ichigo over to you." Isshin said darkly.
Renji didn't really care if Ichigo was given to him or not. A challenge was given and there was no way that he could walk away and still call himself a man. The others watched as Renji rose from his seat to accept. Both men grinned evilly at each other eager to start battle while Karen and Yuzu moved anything breakable out of harms way.
Ichigo sighed and raised from his/her seat deciding that it would be meaningless to try and explain anything more to the idiots. He/she figured that this whole incident would probably be over in a couple hours. In the meantime Ichigo thought it best to just take a walk while the house was being destroyed.
He/she had only made it a couple of blocks before stumbling upon a fight. Well more like someone getting the crap kicked out of them by a bunch of thugs. Ichigo's brain wanted to walk away, but before it could relay the message the fists had already began a full on assault.
Even as a woman Ichigo was a hardcore badass and within only a few minutes the fight was over. The whimpering bullies limped away licking their wounds and threatening their revenge. Ichigo ignored their ramblings and moved over to see how the victim was. The strawberry blonde flipped over the badly injured brunette.
"Keigo?" Ichigo half asked just as dark chocolate eyes fluttered open briefly in acknowledgement.
Meanwhile in an unusually busy police station Urahara sat awaiting the detective that wished to speak with him. It seemed that the police had discovered female items and children's clothing during their search. This of course prompted them to ask Urahara to accompany them to the station. The whole thing had a very familiar stink. He knew that he was being set up in the same way that he had been at the soul society. His suspicions became reality when Aizen entered the room.
"Aizen, I have the feeling that we have had this dance before." Urahara laughed bitterly shaking his head.
"Yes, yes, and you are once again stepping on my toes." Aizen retorted taking a seat on the other side of the table.
Urahara gave a questioningly innocent look. "I do believe that you promised not to do anything to them for a year."
"I do hope that you are not insinuating that I would do something to my precious children." Aizen snickered.
"Why ever would I think that? I mean you have been such an adoring father so far. " Urahara quipped.
Aizen leaned back in chair and raised his left hand revealing a shiny golden ring hugging his finger.
"I met the most fascinating human woman in a bar and before I knew it we were married."
Urahara cocked a brow unsure of how to respond to this news.
"She just looked so much like Inoue that I couldn't let her escape my loving clutches. Then again most children favor their mothers. "
Aizen smirked and Urahara finally understood what the mad man was plotting.