A/N: I wrote this Tuesday after watching House Monday night. It is dedicated to my friend Jen who got me into my House obsession. And yes, Cuddy and House are my couple. So it's Huddy. And this is my first House fic.
~House's Office before Kutner's funeral~
Cuddy entered the semi-darkened office and strolled to where a hunched over figure sat. She laid a hand on his shoulder and waited for him to look up. "House," she whispered when he didn't acknowledge her. After several moments his blue eyes looked into hers. "We need to leave; Kutner's funeral is going to be starting soon."
He looked away from her. "I'm not going."
"He was a part of your team. You should go say goodbye to him."
"Not until I find out who murdered him," House replied then turned back to the computer screen.
Cuddy reached over him and hit the power button. "He wasn't murdered; he killed himself. I'm sorry you had no idea he was in that much pain and couldn't help him. But punishing yourself for not knowing by refusing to go to his funeral will only make getting over his death much harder." She picked up his coat and held it out to him. "I know you're upset and hurt because he was just like you in so many ways-"
"He was nothing like me!" House screamed at her. "I have never thought about ending my life just because I couldn't handle the pain. He was just…weak."
"House," He stood up and snatched his coat from her before walking out of his office.
They stood together, shoulders brushing slightly. Cuddy looked around at the crowded room, seeing almost everyone crying. She could hear the priest talking about Kutner's earthly life and his soul being reincarnated. 'Maybe I shouldn't have made him come here,' she thought to herself. 'He hates this kind of stuff.' Cuddy looked to House for a moment, studying his face.
He stood strong, showing no emotion.
Except for in his eyes.
She could see his pain in those beautiful blue eyes and she wished she knew what to do to take it away from him.
Cuddy breathed in deeply and focused on the casket that held the body of a friend. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
She jumped slightly when she felt House's fingers caress the inside of her wrist, stopping briefly to feel her pulse, then continuing to her palm before finally lacing his fingers with hers. Cuddy closed her eyes and leaned in to him, hoping to give him some comfort.
~Cameron's Point of View~
She watched House standing stoically, not moving a muscle through most of the ceremony. Cameron wanted so badly to be the one to comfort him, but knew it wouldn't do either of them any good. Then she saw him move slightly and she wondered if he was going to leave. She felt her heart beat a tiny bit faster, hoping he would come to her. Cameron waited for him to turn, to leave, but he didn't. She watched as he moved his hand to hold Cuddy's, and she knew she could never be there for him again.
You're the only thing I know
Like the back of my hand.
And I can't breathe without you,
But I have to breathe without you.
~ Breathe, Taylor Swift & Colbie Caillat