A/N: Pizzazz here, who is (accidentally) high off of Sharpie ™ markers, and excited to reveal the first chapter of my first multi-chaptered Lucky fic! 8D Huzzah! The basic idea is to follow the timeline of the five stages of loss, which usually pertains to someone dying, but. It applies in a lot of places. XD I'm not killing Tyki or Lavi, don't worry. That would be horrible of me.

Happy reading, yo! :3

I do not own D. Gray-Man.

--

--

Five Stages of Loss:

I – Denial

II – Anger

III – Bargaining

IV – Depression

V – Acceptance

.x.x.x.

To Lavi, it almost seemed like all of these moments were suspended in time. Little snowflakes, paused in their descent; that were very pretty to look at but not to touch, because they were sure to give you frostbite eventually. They were descending though, no matter how slowly. Falling, tumbling, losing themselves to gravity.

Tyki was his gravity, but Lavi wasn't falling. He was pretending to fall, and that was all it was.

"I'm just doing this to get closer to the enemy. Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer, right?"

A justification that he told himself to fill up his hollow centre when Tyki wasn't around, but one he never truly did believe. Their bodies entwined and their fingers clutched each other, fitting so exactly right that it set off instant alarm bells in Lavi's head.

If you follow through with this you are going to be so happy.

If you follow through with this you are going to hate yourself.

Resisting gravity was too difficult to do by sheer will alone, and especially when that 'will' was a fake to start with.

--

The plan was pillow talk. Simple, clean, no real ties involved. Give Tyki what he wanted while slipping bits of information out of him at the same time. Lavi was there to help the Exorcists, the ones he really cared about, in spite of his duties as future Bookman.

He would allow himself to slip up for them, but never for Tyki. Tyki couldn't possibly be good for him anyway, so he had never expected to get any opposite opinions planted in his head.

Incidentally, Tyki was far more of a gentleman than he had expected, and that hadn't changed with any of their meetings. He was genuinely a nice, easy to get along with person; however the whole opposite sides of the war thing affected their 'relationship'. (Lavi used to scoff more when he dubbed it with that word, but only in the beginning. Ah, how unsettling it was to acknowledge how much it had become to feel like a real relationship.)

But (As there always had to be a but, didn't there? Wasn't that what it seemed like?), the Bookman in training had an agenda. (Funny how his own agenda's true purpose kept slipping in his mind. The appointments more closely resembled dates to look forward to than sessions for veiled monitoring.)

Today's designated romp included trying to pry out information on Road, among other things. Or at least that was what Lavi drilled into his skull to be the purpose for coming to see Tyki.

He utterly refused to accept the pang of glee that leapt up in his stomach when he was snatched up by the Noah in an embrace as really there, much less as being significant. Surely that was only because he was hungry or something. Allen had stolen most of his lunch anyway, the glutton. So, it could easily be explained and passed off as innocent. There was no lust involved other than for a quick snack.

Not a quick snack of vagabond.

Of a sandwich.

Exactly.

Liar.

"Miss me, Mister Bunny Rabbit…?"

Tyki's crooning voice commanded his total attention, and his finely skilled touch kept Lavi electrically awake. A hand playfully was running up his spine, choosing really to touch the bone rather than only the skin, which was a feeling like Lavi had never experienced before. To say that he enjoyed it would be to speak an understatement.

But he liked it, yes. Though, that was barely a surprise, considering the Portuguese man was the one skimming it.

"Mmm…let's see, I had a dream about you." The redhead allowed himself to admit. It was the truth, although he was very reluctant to specify what went on in it. Tyki sensed this, and smirked.

"Oh, did you now?" He stopped tracing his finger path over Lavi's spine, which was greeted with a protest.

Groaning with annoyance, Lavi glared up at the Pleasure. He wanted him to keep touching him. Now. Because who knew how many more opportunities they would have for it? No one knew when dumb old Panda would mention that he probably already knew where he was going off to all these times, so he would have to savour what all he—

Oh, no.

That was not Lavi thinking that. No. Just no.

Still, it stood that whoever was thinking that really wanted Tyki to keep touching him. Wanted it with a feverent passion that Lavi was having a difficult time keeping safely bridled and ensnared in his control.

His control was running out of wick to burn on. Soon it was going to get extinguished entirely. Very soon. Days, seconds…it was impossible to pinpoint, but they both could tell; both Lavi and the boy inside of him who wanted to accept the whole brunt of the Pleasure. Because it was so insanely pleasing to lie in state with Tyki Mikk, and…

Oh god, I don't think I can deny this any more.

"So what happened in the dream, my bunny-pet?" The Noah prodded, eyes plainly laughing to themselves at seeing Lavi's childlike reluctance to share. "What, was it dirty or something?" He chuckled, fondling one lock of the Exorcist's flaming hair. "Are you embarrassed to tell me?"

Damn this guy… Lavi swallowed, pulling himself further into Tyki's embrace. The heat of his neck was brushing up against his face. Deciding to ditch his initial hesitance, Lavi elaborated. "Well, not really dirty. Why can you be such a pervert sometimes? Geez." Okay, so maybe it had been dirty. But he didn't have to say so yet, did he?

"It's in the job description." Tyki responded, sarcastic. "You know, I'm the Noah of Pleasure, after all. Surely they've explained that to you at your frumpy little Black Order?"

He spoke without thinking. "I don't need them to tell me so. You're doing just fine yourself, Tyki."

"Ooh. Am I imagining it, or was that little statement somewhat flirtatious?"

"Yeah, it might have been." Only because it had been. Damn it. The control he was depending on had disintegrated into a very fine thread, and it was already severing. "So what, huh?"

"So, this dream."

And it might as well have snapped in that moment, if not sooner. Lavi couldn't take colouring inside the lines any more. Tyki's breath all over his skin was an erotic drink that made him want to head straight for the fucking dance floor and shake his ass like it was the last night he would ever spend raging with life.

"My dream?" He whispered in his ear, letting his mouth stay half open invitingly, his voice lingering. "It started basically just like this. And then pretty much you decided that only standing around was too boring."

"Did I really now?" Tyki was smiling to himself, and he let his hand return to tracing Lavi's spine, which was precisely what it craved.

"And then I bet you can infer what exactly happened next."

He pretended to consider for a moment before answering. "I think I'll take that bet." Tilting Lavi's head toward his own, his tongue flicked out and found Lavi's soft, eager lips.

All thoughts of Lavi's 'mission' were deteriorated. It was too late for him to keep lying that that was why he was there. Oh, he was there because he – Lavi – wanted to be there, and he didn't care to stop himself. He might as well tear the damn colouring book to shreds; he honestly had stopped colouring inside the lines the first time a thought strayed into his mind about Tyki that shouldn't have belonged there.

Lavi had quit the denial stage cold turkey and was grateful to have done so, because it was so euphoric to surrender himself to this man.

But it scared the shit out of him to wonder what might come in the future.

--

--

A/N: Good? Bad? Sucked so hard that I need to go jump off of a cliff and never bother you again? XD Although I'm such a masochist I actually think it would be very fun to jump off of a cliff. Pretend that I'm flying and whatnot. At least I could die enjoying myself… But yeah. (I have no idea where all that came from. -sweatdrop-) Very fun to write though. Chapter two will get started shortly! I already have the whole thing plotted out to the end.

Thanks for reading, my lovelies. :3