A/N: A short ficlet originally written back in 2006 and posted at Copper for a Kiss, as a pick-me-up for greta_garbo, who'd had a Very Bad Day. I'm now posting all my fic here, so that I have an archive of all my stories in one place.
Disclaimer: I'm just playing with them, m'kay? Joss owns everything, including my soul (darn small print!).
Dedication: For greta_garbo, who had a worse day than Jayne...
* * * * * * * *
Jayne was tired and fed up. He'd been lugging cargo aboard for a good hour now, not that anyone had bothered to thank him for the effort. His shirt was drenched and grimy. His muscles ached and creaked. All in all, he was in a pretty shitty mood. For that reason, he wasn't too pleased to see the moonbrain come skipping up the ramp arm-in-arm with little Kaylee. Two of them were giggling and whispering at each other in that way that made Jayne's teeth hurt. 'Course, that could have been 'cause he was gritting them so hard.
He'd turned away in disgust, which was the only reason the crazy girl managed to creep up on him so close, so's he jumped when he glanced around. There was something weird about her. He peered closer.
"Why you got all that stuff on your mouth?" he said.
Those painted lips parted in a grin that Jayne could only describe as predatory. "Show you," she said.
And before he could so much as blink, she'd wrapped those skinny arms around the back of his neck and yanked him down. He could feel all those firm, lean curves pressed against his damp chest and the thought fleetingly crossed his mind that she had one hell of a body hidden away under those gorram tents she wore. Then a pair of soft, lush lips planted themselves on his and he stopped thinking altogether.
Moving solely on instinct, Jayne slid his hands around and down, grabbing himself a handful of smooth, round ass. Hell, this was one of the reasons he didn't do kissing: he liked it too gorram much. Especially with sweet, fragile little things that tasted of strawberries and ice cream. Hedonist to the core, he gave himself up to the moment, tasting her, breathing her in until he swore he could feel her coming out of his pores.
God only knew how long it would have been before he came to his senses, maybe never. After a while, though, the girl pulled away slightly, hands trailing down his neck, stroking as they went. He resisted the urge to growl under her caress and watched her face as her eyelashes fluttered on her cheeks like moths. She reached up and touched his lips with a smile, while Jayne stared at her dumbfounded.
"What'ya do that for?" he asked, hoarse with a need that was making a cold shower a necessity real soon.
"Manufacturer claims it cannot be kissed off. I was conducting a field test. Results..." she smiled again, "quite satisfactory."
"A gorram test?" Jayne was unaccountably offended. Not that he cared why she kissed him, obviously! "Well, pick someone else next time, why don't ya?"
She shook her head and gave him that look she gave her brother when he was being even more of a lame-brained idiot than usual. "Have to test under extreme conditions. Kissing Jayne is the ultimate challenge to any cosmetic product."
Ultimate challenge, huh? Well, that didn't sound too bad. He looked away, trying to sound casual. "So, you need to run any more tests?"
She cocked her head on one side like a bird. "I also bought underwear that is supposed to be unrippable..." she murmured.
Jayne's breathing went all shallow and he tried not to drool. "Well, reckon I could put that to the test all right," he said, "in the interests of makin' sure you weren't cheated."
She simply winked at him and danced off towards her quarters. Jayne trailed after her. "I got a window in my schedule right about now," he called out hopefully, but the only reply was a ripple of laughter that shot right down to his happy place.
"Damn," he swore, then grinned and followed her.