Agh!! Only one review for my previous chapter! I guess I'm really going to have to spice it up, huh? So… heres the next chappie!!
Chapter 2- Moot Point
"You're radio has horrible reception," I commented shaking my head in disapproval.
"You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car," She snapped.
I had to compress my lips together so I wouldn't smile at her terse tone.
I didn't want Bella to be forced to fret. There was one way, I knew, to help her forget.
When she pulled into the front of her house, I reached over towards her and carefully positioned her face in my hands. She was so fragile- with one wrong stroke Bella could be easily killed. I pressed the tips of my fingers very tenderly against her jawline.... her cheekbones…. Temples… Everything felt so tender, so even more delicate.
I couldn't lose control, I reminded myself.
I could feel the blood pulsating within her.
"You should be in a good mood, today of all days," I whispered studying carefully of Bella's every move.
"And if I don't want to be in a good mood?" Bella asked, breathing disproportionately.
"Too bad," I smiled moving forward to kiss her.
I couldn't find the strength to pull away. My mouth loitered on hers, until I felt Bella's arms cross around my neck. She pulled herself too fully into the kiss. Her lips were soft and warm against mine, and I never wanted to let go.
I can't lose control.
I let go of her face quickly, moving my hands to release her simple grasp on my neck.
"Be good please," I murmured kissing her softly once again. I folded her arms across her and pulled away.
I watched as Bella put her hand over her heart. I could hear every heartbeat… I could smell her blood, sweet and delectable. Tasting it was even more irresistible than smelling it. I had to remind myself avoid these thoughts. They were of my nature, though, and hard to not come across at times like these.
"Do you think I'll ever get better at this?" Bella wondered, her voice soft and thoughtful. "That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?"
"I really hope not," I muttered complacently. I enjoyed listening to her heart, I was so accustomed to it by now, and I didn't think I would be able to let that go.
"Let's go watch the Capulets and the Montagues hack each other up, all right?"
"Your wish, my command," I responded.
I enfolded my arms around Bella's waist pulling her against my chest. Reminding myself from her warm body temperature and the icy one of mine, I dragged the old blanket off the back of the couch so she wouldn't freeze from such close proximity.
"You know, I've never had much patience with Romeo," I remarked as the movie began.
"What's wrong with Romeo?" She asked, insulted. I couldn't help but smirk at her tone.
"Well, first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline- don't you think that makes him seem a bit fickle? And then, a few moments after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?"
Bella sighed, "Do you want me to watch this alone?"
"No, I'll mostly be watching you anyway," I wondered this aloud, "Will you cry?"
"Probably," She admitted after a pause. "if I'm paying attention."
"Then I won't distract you," I pressed my lips on her hair, taking in yet again the somewhat floral scent. It was the strongest thing I had ever taken in, her scent was so hard to avoid. Heroin, I once described it to. I knew now that her blood was so much more than an addiction to me.
I whispered the lines of Romeo inside of Bella's ear, for no exacting reason, but it seemed to help capture the interest of the movie for her.
I watched as Bella cried, trying to remember what exactly crying felt like. I couldn't. But as I watched, I wiped her tears away with a lock of her brown, beautiful hair. "I'll admit, I do sort of envy him here," I said.
"She's very pretty..."
I made a disgusted sound. The actress had no appeal towards me, whatsoever. The thought even that Bella could assume I thought the girl of pretty, was sickening to think. "I don't envy him the girl- just the ease of suicide. You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one vial of plant extracts…." There were little to no options for my kind towards that rash choice.
"What?" Bella gasped looking alarmed.
"It's something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle had tried to kill himself in the beginning…." I noticed my tone had become rather grave and to not make Bella worry, I added, "And clearly he's still in excellent health."
Bella twisted around and I could see the full shock in her face. It was filled with confusion, worry, and frustration? I couldn't determine what her last emotion was.
"What are you talking about?" She demanded her voice cracking. "What do you mean this is something you had to think about once?"
I drew in an intake of breath though I didn't need it. "Last spring….when you were nearly….killed…" I had to remind myself to keep my teasing tone, but it was hard and I struggled to maintain it. Bella almost dying was something that I didn't go about in a teasing manner. "Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human."
Last spring was almost too hard to think of. I didn't want to. Everything that happened was too hard to face. But, the flashbacks came, unwelcome as they were. I could see everything so vividly- James torturing Bella…. Bella writhing in pain on the ground…. The blood she shed growing fainter by the minute…. The anger I felt towards Alice and Jasper when how easily they let her out of their sight- all of it was so painful to even now remember.
I watched as Bella traced her fingers along the crescent scar on her hand. The memory, of not wanting to stop when I tasted her blood…..
"Contingency plans?" She repeated lowly and shook her head.
"Well, I wasn't going to live without you," I rolled my eyes. Wasn't that fact obvious? "But I wasn't sure how to do it- I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help…. So I was think maybe I would go to Italy and provoke the Volturi."
Provoking the Volturi was easier said than done. I would have had to do something so disgraceful…. I would've had to pose as a risk towards their land in order for them to do anything towards me…. Killing a human in broad daylight would do the trick- I'd killed people before anyways- drinking all of the human's blood piteously in front of many people. I would have to show that I was unlike everyone else. Surely they wouldn't know a vampire of my sort if they saw one. Movies portrayed us too dissimilar than what we essentially are. The only thing they got right was our need for blood to live. Capes, fangs, and coffins…. Whoever thought of something as ridiculous as that was seriously deranged.
"What is a Volturi?" She demanded furious. Bella's words brought me back to the present.
"The Volturi are a family," I explained remotely. "They are the closet thing our world had to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America- do you remember the story?"
"Of course I remember."
"Anyways, you don't irritate the Volturi. Not unless you want to die- or whatever it is we do," It was boring to think of the idea of dying. I had thought of it so many times before…
I felt Bella's hands on my face, the horror very self evident in her eyes. Her grip was tight for her strength and I could tell I said something to upset her. I probably shouldn't have mentioned this subject at all.
"You must never, never, never, think of anything like that again!" She said, worrying. "No matter what happens to me, you are not allowed to hurt yourself!"
"I'll never put you in danger again, so its moot point," I said, not really taking in Bella's words. If anything happened to Bella, my fault or not, I wouldn't be able to live without her. More or less, I'd be dead but still living- if my kind is living.
"Put me in danger?! I thought we've established that all the bad luck is my fault?" She said, outraged. "How dare you even think like that?"
I tried to think of a way for Bella to see it in my way. I would live forever. A forever without Bella didn't seem to exist for me. When I met her, I knew already of the choices I would have to make. Bella would die. I couldn't avoid it if I wanted her to stay human.
"What would you do, if the situation were reversed?"
"That's not the same thing."
Of course it was. There was hardly any difference…. I laughed.
"What if something did happen to you?" She blanched. "Would you want me to go off myself?"
The thought of something like that pained me.
"I guess I see you point… a little…" I admitted. "But what would I do without you?"
What would I do without Bella? Nothing.
"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence."
Bella hardly complicated my life. It was already complicated before. It wouldn't be easy to live without her.
"You make that sound so easy."
"It should be, I'm not that interesting," It was amusing to me how Bella didn't see her appeal to me in any way. Everything Bella did was interesting to me. I loved every second of it.
I was going to argue about it, to prove my point, but I could hear Charlie's police car up the road.
"Moot point," I said, letting her comment go with a sigh.
I pulled myself into a formal posture and moved Bella so that we were no longer touching.
"Charlie?" She guesses.
I smiled, listening in on Charlie's thoughts.
Of course. Why would I expect Bella without Edward on her birthday? Its like she always around him.
He had a pizza box in his hands. The smell of it was simply revolting.
"You hungry, Bella?"
Like I said, its still going to be word for word for awhile…. Just to get the story going. But then it will get better! I promise!