Disclaimer: Whedon owns BTVS and Katims owns Roswell.

Chapter Four: Buffy's Journal Introduction

If you are reading this, you have been Called, Chosen as a Vampire Slayer, a protector of life and light. You will be the thing the Darkness fears. You are now a warrior, but not a hero. For heroes are not allowed to makes mistakes, they must be perfect and always strong. That will never be expected of you. For we, the members of the IWC, understand the pressures you will face, not only from others but also yourself.

This will be a frightening time for you. At first you may see this as a curse, as a cruel joke played on you by Fate. You will rail against everything, the system, the Powers That Be, God. I know because I went through the same thing. My name is Buffy Summers and I am a Slayer, the Oldest Surviving Slayer.

I have spent the last decade fighting the things that go bump in the night. For much of the first two years, I resented the duty given to me. It took me a long time to accept it. And eventually I have even become somewhat grateful for it. While it is true that my Calling has brought pain, betrayal and loss into my life, it has also brought joy. I have lost much over the years, lovers, a mother, a chance at a more normal life and even my very life. But I have gained so much. I have made friends and formed strong bonds with others that so few are fortunate enough to have. My Calling has given me experiences I otherwise would never have had as well as taken me to places never dreamed of. It gave me my sisters, and the men I consider my father and brother. It allowed me to understand and appreciate love in ways I think so few outside our world can. It gave me the knowledge that my life has had a purpose greater than I could have ever previously imagined.

In the rest of this book, I have written some of the best and worst experiences I have had being a Slayer. I don't want to frighten you but given you an honest look at what is to come. The Old Slayer handbook given by the old stuff shirts Council does not really do that. Your Watcher will give you contact information and once you have read this, if you want to talk call me.

I know that this will be daunting and sometimes even terrifying. You will wonder what can one person accomplish, how much of a difference you can make, how unfair it all is and even why keep fighting when it is so painful. I can only repeat what a dear friend once said "Nothing in this world is the way it ought to be. It's harsh. And cruel. But that's why there's us. Champions. It doesn't matter where we come from. What we've done or suffered or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world was as it should be. To show it what it can be".

You will come to know pain, fear, sadness and even terror. But you will also know that what you do will mean something, even if it is just for one person. You will never be forgotten. And you will never be alone. There was a time to be a Slayer was to be alone; to live alone, to fight alone, to die alone. But no longer, you will never be alone again. No matter the reason should you ever need support, you will have it. Whether it is for emotional support, preparing for a test, balancing a social life with slaying or fighting the latest big bad, you will not be alone. For you are one of us, a sister, a sister Slayer.