Behold: The first random idea to come to me within the past month that wasn't about making a silent movie about cheese! (Don't ask…it was for a school project.)
The first thing Blackout heard upon coming back home was squeaking…lots and lots of squeaking… Slowly, he glared at Scorponok, who quickly cowered under the couch and poked his head out from under. Yeah, it was definitely what he thought it was. Following the sound to his room, he found a female scavenger with 4 or 5 babies on his berth.
"Not again…" he sighed. "Scorponok!"
Sorry, Scorponok apologized, pulling his head back under the couch. Blackout reached under and grabbed him by the tail, dragging him out and dangling him in front of his face. Scorponok instinctively shielded his exposed underbelly with his legs and chirped in a frightened tone.
"You're going to the vet," Blackout said threateningly.
"Scorponok, come on! Don't make me drag you out!" Blackout shouted up the steps. Scorponok stood on the porch and looked around nervously before running back into the house. "Dammit, Scorponok! Get back here!"
Barricade stared at him curiously before stopping in front of his house. "Hey, Blackout. What's up with Scorponok?"
"Scorponok knocked up another stray, so I'm taking him to the vet to get him fixed. By the way, do you want a baby scavenger?" Blackout responded.
"I'm gonna have to pass," Barricade shook his head. "By the way, I came by to borrow some of your stuff without asking."
Blackout sighed. "Will I ever get any of it back?"
"Heh, heh…not really." Barricade pushed past him and walked inside.
Scorponok had climbed up on top of the tallest shelf he could find and looked ready to pounce if anyone came near him. He hissed at Barricade even though he knew the mech probably didn't feel like climbing a pantry for his friend's pet.
"Damn…I was gonna borrow that blanket," Barricade said when he found the makeshift nest Blackout had made in the living room for Scorponok's family. "Ah, well. I'll just take the one off your couch."
"Hey, my grandma made me that blanket!" Blackout complained, trying to grab ahold of Scorponok. His pet ran circles on the shelf to avoid his grasp.
"So… What are you gonna do with Scorponok's baby mama?" Barricade asked, raiding Blackout's fridge and sitting on the couch to watch him struggle.
"Find a home for her too, I guess. I can't just throw her out onto the street!" Blackout replied. He caught Scorponok's tail, causing him to retaliate by springing forward like a facehugger after a host and latching onto his face. "Mmph! Get the slag off my face, Scorponok!"
Scorponok screeched when something wrapped around his neck and tugged him off. He struggled and fought against the strange thing around his neck, trying hard to pull it off of him.
Blackout shook himself off. "Where did you get a leash from?"
"It's mine," Barricade replied, watching Scorponok struggle on the other end with amusement.
"What do you use it for?" Blackout inquired. "You've never had a pet."
Barricade smirked mischievously. "Do you really want me to tell you?" He waited a moment for everything to sink in.
"Oh… No, I think I have an idea…" Blackout quickly added. He took the leash from Barricade and dragged Scorponok towards the door. "Come on, Scorponok! Quit struggling!"
Barricade looked over at Scorponok's girlfriend. "You're having fun watching this, aren't you?" She nodded in response. "I am too."
"Barricade! A little help here?" Blackout pleaded. Scorponok had latched onto the doorframe and held on for dear life. Instead of helping, Barricade flopped back onto the couch and sipped on a high grade. "Barricade!"
"Why should I help? He isn't my animal," Barricade shrugged.
"I'm lending you my stuff, aren't I?!" Blackout snapped.
"And I'm lending you my leash. So we're even," he countered.
"Yeah, but I'm returning the leash! I'll never see my stuff again!" Blackout pointed out.
"It depends on how often you come by my apartment." He ducked when Blackout threw something at him. "You missed," he said calmly.
"Oh, screw you then!" Blackout let go of the leash and grabbed onto Scorponok's midsection, pulling as hard as he could. There was a loud scraping sound as Scorponok was gradually torn away from the frame. His legs swung madly to grasp the door while Blackout held onto him to prevent him from escaping. "Be gone before I get back! And don't let any of the babies out! I still need to find them homes!" Blackout called to Barricade, slamming the door behind him.
Barricade looked over towards the makeshift nest where the scavenger was tending to her offspring. "Hmm…"
"Scorponok, don't do this to me now! Get the slag in here!" Blackout struggled to pull his pet up the stairs by the leash. Scorponok resisted, pulling away from him wildly. One swift yank caused him to lose his balance and get yanked up one step. Just fourteen more steps to go… "Get up the damn stairs, Scorponok!" A family walked up the stairs past them, carrying a sick bird of some sort. They gave Blackout a weird look and hurried past. "You're going to be in big trouble, young man! Now, GET UP THE FUCKING STAIRS!" An old lady walking by covered the audio receptors of the sparkling that was with her and rushed her along.
Don't make me go in there! Scorponok begged. I like being a guy!
"I didn't want to do this to you, Scorponok! But I warned you last time you did this that this would happen if you did it again!" Blackout replied.
You do it all the time! Scorponok countered.
"I'm careful enough not to have any sparklings!" Blackout snapped.
What about Barricade? He's not careful!
"That's true…but I don't give a crap about what Barricade does! He's not my responsibility Scorponok, you are!"
Let me go!
Getting sick of this game of tug-o-war, Blackout stormed down the stairs and snatched him up before he could run. The people in the waiting room backed away from him as he came through with the violently struggling arachnid. The second he sat down, Scorponok scurried to the seat as far away from Blackout as the leash would allow him and refused to look at him. "Fine, Scorponok, if that's how it's gonna be…"
"Hello?" Soundwave answered his phone in his usual monotone. "No thank you. I don't have room for a scavenger." He paused, listening to the other end. "Yes, I know they make good pets. It's just that it's already beginning to look somewhat like a zoo around here." He glanced into the other room where his cassettes were crowded around the TV.
"Hey, is he talking about us?" Rumble asked his older brother. Ravage shrugged.
Blackout glanced over at Scorponok. The arachnid turned around to face the other way. "Come on, Scorponok. Don't be like this!" Scorponok made a sound of disapproval. "Scorponok, I love you. I hate seeing you act this way. Please, at least come sit with me!" Scorponok didn't even reply. "Okay, fine. Don't sit with me." Blackout looked away sadly.
A few moments later, the pulling on the other end of the leash subsided, and Blackout felt something crawl into his lap. He smiled and scooped up Scorponok into his arms and hugged him tight. Scorponok purred and snuggled close.
They both looked up when the door to the vet's office opened and Scorponok's name was called. Scorponok shivered in Blackout's arms, looking fearfully towards the open door. Please don't make me go in there…
Blackout sighed and stood up, carrying Scorponok towards the door. "Come on, Scorponok."
"Hey, Blackout!" Barricade waved when Blackout came in his front door.
"Hey!" Blackout replied. "Why are you still here?"
Barricade dug out a paper from under all the empty food containers on the side table. "Check it out! I made you a list of people who are interested in adopting your scavengers!"
Blackout took the list and looked it over. "There's over 30 names on here…"
"Yeah, I thought you'd like to be able to choose where they go," Barricade replied.
"And you did all this while I was gone?" he asked.
"Yeah. I had nothing better to do," Barricade admitted. "By the way, you're out of food."
Blackout shivered when Scorponok detached himself from his neural network and plopped to the floor and watched him scamper off happily. "Here's your leash, by the way."
Barricade accepted it and watched Scorponok with interest. "Shouldn't he be…"
"I chickened out. I couldn't bring myself to do that to him. I ended up just telling the vet that I was there because I thought he was sick." He looked back at Barricade. "I gave him one last chance."
"He might end up blowing that chance again real soon," Barricade pointed out.
"Hmm? What do you mean by…" He looked where Barricade was looking. "Hey! Scorponok! Get off of her!"
"Heh, heh…yep. Real soon."
I think this fic exists to prove one thing… I have a very dirty mind…