I'm SO sorry for not updating sooner; I had major writer's block. Just try to work with me.
Two: Pen Pals
Monday morning. Life went on without Hannah, and that meant that I was going to school today. There was nothing in this world that I would like to do less, but unfortunately there's nothing I can do about it. All day there will be little reminders of her empty presence; the teachers giving me pitying glances, the guidance counselor asking me to "remember Hannah." Well, I already remember her. Unfortunately, it's also hard not to remember the bad things too.
It's like nothing will ever be the same again, not without her. If there was one thing she taught me, it was that you just had to live.
"Live freely, live happily, live peacefully, and dance to your own drum."
I had to take my mind off things or I'd quickly lose it. So without a second thought, I grabbed Edward's letter off the table before heading out the door.
_______ + ________ + ________ + _______ + ________
When I got to first period, Jessica was sitting at the front desk; unfortunately, the only empty seat was next to her. So I pulled my bag closer to me, and sat down. I tried to ignore her glare that I felt burning on my skin; I tried also to ignore the glaring of her friends behind me. So instead of looking at them, I pulled out a piece of paper and began a second letter to Edward.
"Who's Edward?" Jessica asked. I must've jumped a foot in the air, and as I did, the papers Mr. Richards placed on out table scattered all over the floor.
"Oh, come on, you don't expect me to believe he's your boyfriend or whatever."
"He's not my boyfriend! He was Hannah's pen pal, and I'm only writing to him to tell him what happened!" I felt my cheeks flame, but that was only because I was annoyed with Jessica.
"Oh, well then maybe you could hook us up," Jessica smiled like she honestly expected me to.
"I'm not going to hook you two up. I'm not even going to write to him after this!"
"God, what's your problem?"
"My best friend died, that's my problem."
"They were right, you are heartless."
"Who are they?"
"Go to hell, Jessica." I picked up my bag and stormed out of the class.
Oh, what did I just do? Jessica is going to hate me, and then I'm not sure what will happen. Am I seriously skipping class now? Well, it's not like I could go back there with my dignity. And I'd rather keep my dignity for now thanks.
Her next letter arrived a few days after I had sent mine.
As much as I like the idea of a "pen pal," I don't know if that's the best idea. I mean, it's something Hannah did with you. Wouldn't it be weird for you? I just mean that I wouldn't want to take her place or anything. I am curious though, how'd you and Hannah meet; or should I say, how to you guys get writing? As for her caring about me, I know. She's always been like a second mother to me, if that doesn't sound strange to you.
Did she honestly think I was trying to replace Hannah? After reading Bella's letter, I quickly found some stationary and a pen, and began writing back.
Being "pen pals" wouldn't really bother me at all. I mean, you were one of Hannah's best friends, I'd feel even closer to her through you. Wait, that didn't sound quite right, did it? Anyway, what I meant to say was that we could share memories of her. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Remember the good, not the bad. As for how Hannah and I "met", a mutual friend of ours decided that we'd get along well and passed along addresses. She wrote to me first; starting her letter with something like, "This was Josh's bright idea that I write to you, though you're probably thinking that I'm some crazy person, by now."
Also, I thought you'd already know about what Hannah thought about you. Call it a hunch. She didn't seem like the type of person to hide how she felt about anything, which is good. I feel like I know her, even though I only knew her through letters. Sometimes, she'd write something crazy about her latest misadventure, and sometimes, what she wrote was almost poetic. I think I still want to visit this summer…even if it is only to say goodbye to Hannah. Just think about the pen pals thing. You might like it more than you think. More than a diary but also less than a face to face thing. You can start by telling me about yourself. After all, I only know what Hannah wrote.
Ok, call me crazy, but I was seriously considering it. With Hannah gone, I really didn't have many people to talk to. Does that sound desperate? Ok, maybe it does, but Edward didn't sound that bad. In fact, it almost sounded as if he were in love with her. There was just something about Edward that made me want to find out more about him. As for him visiting in the summer, there was no reason for him not to come. He, of all people, had a right to say goodbye to her. For the past six months or so since they'd been writing, he probably got to know Hannah better than I had. For some reason, that makes me sad. Hannah and I always operated on the same frequency, sometimes it was almost like we could read each other's mind.
Hannah was the only person who knew me, the real me that longed to spread out my wings and fly. Alright, Edward, you're on. Let's see if you like the real me.
I think you should come this summer. You, of all people, have a right to say goodbye to her. I know what you mean about her misadventures, I somehow always got roped into those. And she certainly had her poetic moments! Sometimes, she could put something so beautifully that I wonder how she could possibly act like a teenager at all. I'm willing to try being pen pals, if that's ok with you. As for some stuff about me; I like to write and also photography. Call it a hobby, but I like to capture stuff on film. It's like a little memory you can visit whenever you want. My favorite color is always changing; though it's currently brown- since Forks has WAY too much green for my liking.
I used to play the violin, but I never had much patience for it. And as for music that I listen to, it's everything from classical to alternative rock. About your visit, it's May, when exactly were you planning on coming?
The answer to my letter was instantaneous. It may have had something to do with the fact that I enclosed my e-mail.
If it's alright with you, I'd like to come soon. Say, June 4th? My brother Emmett is planning on taking a trip that way and I thought I'd just go with him.
Alright, sorry again for not updating. Though, I think I'm getting a plan worked out for the story and it won't always be random letters. Well, obviously, since Edward's planning on visiting. What havoc could these characters wreak in the small town of Forks? It's bound to be interesting…review PLEASE!