To all Twilight fans and haters, I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT!! DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS?!

Ways to annoy Bella

Say she's a mary sue.

Call Renesmee Nessie.

Tell her Edward has left and is never returning.

Tell her Edward went to Voltura.

Tell her that Edward isn't interested in her.

Tell her Edward is cheating on her with Tanya.

Kidnap Renesmee . . .

And demand that she returns to being a human . . .

. . . then blame it on Jacob.

Say she has horrible cooking skills.

Tell her that seducing a vampire is complete suicide.

Throw her in front of a bus and distract Edward with something sparkly. (Like silver).

When she doesn't die, tell her it's not fair to humans.

Make her watch vampire movies like "Blade" and "Vanhelsing" and say those are real vampires.

Call Edward gay because he sparkles. (This is a bonus because this will also piss off Edward and any other vampire in the series.)

Tell her that she should date someone her age.

Trick her into a date with Edward, Mike, Jacob, Eric, and Tyler at the same time!

Blame it all on Alice.

Trick her into letting Alice dress her up every day.

Send the Edward and Jacob fangirls on her.

Ways to annoy Alice.

Tell her she has bad fashion sense.

Tell her, her extra ability is dumb.

Tell her you know a better psychic.

Tell you that you hate her porche. The color yellow is no longer in.

Trash her porche.

Blame it on Jasper and Emmett.

Tell her that Jasper is cheating on her with Bella. (Bonus points if you piss Edward off)

Talk Bella into doing a death defying stunt. When Alice sees it, make Bella change her mind in the last second.

Trash her closet.

Burn her clothes then buy her new ones that are very out of style.

Close her bank account and blow the money on something else so she can't by clothes.

Say clothes are a thing of the past.

Give the fanboys her number.

Ask her to tell you future every ten seconds.

Sick the Jasper fangirls on her and run for your life.