A/N: Um, first chapter-fic in this fandom. I'm nervous about posting this, but any questions will be answered by the end of this chapter.
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Code Geass, nor am I making any profit off of this fanwork.
Warnings: Vague spoilers for the entire series. There will also be other delicate subjects confronted in this, but nothing above the rating.
I could write about a thousand songs to impress you
but I wouldn't want to do that.
a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step
In her dreams, Kallen is running. She is searching for something, searching for it desperately, hands skimming along marble walls and footsteps rebounding off cathedral ceilings. Ahead of her, patterns of colorful shadows fall through stained-glass windows. Bells toll. People are singing. Somewhere, blood spills like water and fire burns bright, but none of it matters to her. All she wants is to find what she seeks, physically and mentally, on autopilot as she weaves through the pews.
"Kallen, dear! Are you ready for school?"
She sat up in her bed and rubbed at her eyes groggily, hearing her mother's hollow footsteps on the stairs. There was the scent of bacon and eggs, the sizzle as Naoto flipped them over in the frying pan, and she could hear the birds singing outside. Kallen pulled a pillow over her head and silently curled into the fetal position. It was too early and she didn't want to go to some stuck-up Britannian school, especially when she had a headache hammering against her skull. She got them way too often, these days. They used to only be every once in a while, but they had such a detrimental effect on her health she had to dropout of school for a while. Now her physical health was improving, and the pills the doctor had given her were working: just not quickly enough.
Her door creaked as her mother opened it, stepping inside. Kallen could imagine the fond expression on her face as she walked towards the bed. Soon enough, her mattress tipped a little to the side with the added weight, and a hand kindly placed itself on her shoulder.
"Please, get up," she whispered. "I've got a big breakfast for you downstairs, and your uniform is sitting on the ironing board. I know you don't want to go, but it won't be as bad as you think, I promise."
Kallen stretched and turned her head to the side, blinking at the onslaught of sunshine and the blurred image of her mother's face. "You promise?" she asked, holding out one hand, pinkie finger extended.
With a smile, her mother caught it in her own and shook. "I promise," she sighed in relief.
It wasn't until later, when she was knotting her tie and pulling her skirt down a little more snugly over her hips, that this all felt familiar. Not the breakfast or her mother, but putting on a uniform and getting up at six in the morning. It was strange— she'd never been to a private school before, so how was it familiar? The thought settled under her skin and itched there while she sat on the bed and kicked her polished shoes back and forth against the backboard, until her mother said that it was time they left.
- - - -
It wasn't as ritzy as she'd expected, thank God. Nevertheless, it was ritzy, and her heels ringing out across the marble floor were an uncomfortable reminder. The people were nice, though, or the ones she'd met had been. Kind of peculiar, but in a good way, from what she'd seen so far. There was the leader of the Student Council, Milly, who had jumped on her at sight, and the redhead named Shirley, with the bottle-green eyes. Kallen had met a few others too, but at the moment, she was supposed to be concentrating on a test.
She wondered why her glare hadn't burnt holes in the paper yet. The teacher of this class (World History, if she remembered correctly) hadn't even looked at her and handed out the paper. She didn't want to start trouble, but how the hell was she expected to do this when she hadn't studied any of it yet?!
Sighing in frustration as said dumbass teacher went into one of the numerous closets in the back of the room, she scanned it over again. It was a quiz about the remodeling of Britannia, the period of time extending from the subjugation of Japan to Lelouch vi Britannia, the Demon Emperor's, death. She had been just about to start this unit, too, at her public school.
Twirling her pencil through her fingers, she read the first question. Who murdered Lelouch vi Britannia?
Easy, she thought, and wrote in the correct letter answer— Zero. Anyone with half a brain would know that, considering it was moderately recent history, and they ran something on the television about it at least once a year. The next question was harder. She didn't think she knew the answer to it— List the two Britannians on Zero's side. Kallen could only gape as her pencil answered that. She didn't know that; she'd never heard of those people in her life, yet—
Count your blessings, she told herself, as her body went on autopilot and scrawled in the rest of the answers alarmingly fast. Her mind felt hazy, as if she were in a dream, not one of those nightmares that riddled her sleep. It had been a while since she'd had a full night's sleep. Most of the time, she woke up at a least of three times, with a vague horror in her mind and a churning feeling in her gut. No memory. Other times it was the dream of the cathedral, the drying blood on the pews, and she always awoke with full knowledge of it. Along with this came no terror, but in its place was bemusement, and discomfort, like it was sacred ground she shouldn't be treading on.
Kallen sat rigid in her street, her eyes staring just to the left of the paper. She wasn't sure what would happen if she really looked at it. After all, she didn't want to think about how she'd known those answers, or why. Instead she sat there until the bell rang before handing her paper in and walking out the door.
Just what I need, a possibly psychotic President on my back, she internally grumbled, but that didn't mean she wasn't grateful for the distraction. "Yes, Milly-san?" she answered politely, turning around to face the other girl. "Is there anything I can help you with?"
"Oh, of course there is!" Milly laughed before handing her a map of the school, with a large building circled in the middle of it. "I'd like you to stop by the Student Council building after school. I know you might not want to join, but hey, what's the problem with at least checking it out? You'll love it! I think you'll be a great addition."
"My mother wanted me to—"
"Great! See you there, Kallen-chan!"
At least you have something to think about? a portion of her mind suggested, and she forcefully squashed it.
The campus was strangely full after dismissal. There were a lot of clubs, and she shuddered as she saw several boys huddled together, pointing and staring at her. Being attractive was much more trouble than it was worth. It embarrassed her. People looking at her always made her nervous. There was still some prejudice against those not of Britannian lineage, and she was only a half so. She'd admitted it once or twice when she was younger, among the 'higher circles' her father had hung out with, and had been shot glares for the rest of the night. Looks made her feel like she'd done something irrevocably wrong; committed a crime only punishable by a death sentence. She kept her head to the ground and toyed with the lapels of her jacket, and used her map as an excuse.
It was a good plan until she tripped over a loose stone. She didn't consider anyone catching her (Kallen was too busy thinking well, damn it; good job, Kallen, wonderful way to end your day) until someone's arms wrapped around her. She stifled a gasp. Their touch burned like fire on her skin, and all she could see was violet eyes and black hair and blood, until the person pulled her up, and then—
She saw black hair, white skin, and purple eyes. Her heart pounded in her chest and her mouth withered into dryness in a second, and she wondered why she felt so relieved and terrified at the same time. There was a feeling like flying, a euphoric high that made her want to spin in circles, a dancing urge that made her knees knock together. Her hands, clenching his forearms, shook.
"My name is Lelouch Lamperouge," he said, more politely than she could ever have managed, and god, god, god, why did he sound so familiar, why did her stomach seem to convulse and her eyes overflow with happiness at his soft velvet voice? Why!? She didn't understand; she was lost, meandering on the blank spaces of a map, treading on the ground of the church and facing that death sentence. "May I help you with anything?"
For a moment, blue eyes met purple, and Kallen didn't understand what passed between them, but she was in utter blackness, choked by it, and the next thing she knew his lips were pressed against hers. Her first kiss had always been of value to her, and she knew that if this had been a normal circumstance, she would have pushed him away. She would have punched him with her infamous right hand, told him to never touch her again, and walked away. This felt right, though, in a life that suddenly appeared to have been wrong along. And she kissed back, like she'd done this before, holding onto him for dear life.
Then it ended, and he pulled away from her, and she wasn't surprised in the lucid part of her mind that he was panting. In that same lucid part, she knew that even for experienced kissers, that hadn't been bad. He held her at arm's distance, and was about to speak— she could see those angel's lips (always accompanied by a devil's words) beginning to move—
Kallen vomited up her lovingly prepared breakfast over his polished black shoes, turned tail and ran.
A/N: I'm satisfied by this, which is surprising for me, though I'm super-nervous about posting it. I think I handled it pretty well, considering the situations I wrote it under, though I think there's probably a lot of grammatical errors and typos in this, since I wrote it, for the most part, after being awake for thirteen hours with only five hours sleep. Anyway, I understand a lot of you guys will be confused by this, so.
This is a reincarnation fic where Kallen and Lelouch meet again, in the next life. Obviously, their memories are triggered by questions, similar circumstances, and et cetera. I think that if you meet someone from a past life, especially as someone with as much as an impact on Kallen as Lelouch, you'll have some mental recognition. Lelouch also recognizes Kallen, don't you think? (This also implies that Lelouch did return Kallen's feelings, in Code Geass, but it's a fic centered around this pairing; what did you expect?) If some of you are questioning the validity of them having the same names and the same lineages (i.e., Kallen being half-Britannian, her family having the same names), I did it for the convenience of the reader (AKA you guys).
I think you also have to recognize that this fic is based upon the idea of fatalism, that all events are preordained. It's also about soulmates. I don't nessecairily believe in them myself, or that Lelouch and Kallen really were soulmates, but it works with the plot. After all, isn't that the idea— that you have one soulmate, through all of your lives, and somehow you meet them again and again?
With all this said, any more questions can be answered by reveiwing, or e-mailing me.
Feedback and concrit greatly appreciated!