I don't own DGM. However, I am extremely glad that it's back. That hiatus nearly drove me insane. At least, insane enough to write something like this. :\



It was entirely too early in the morning for anyone to be so loud, but Jerry supposed he would give the young exorcist a break. Allen was, after all, one of the best eaters in the whole Order, and he made sure to thank Jerry very enthusiastically after each giant meal. Many of the Order members (Jerry would never name names, especially not Kanda's) refused to even acknowledge Jerry's existence, much less hold conversations with him and even help him out occasionally around the kitchen. (Jerry had suspicions about Allen's reasons for "helping"; he'd stolen more than a little food during his volunteer sessions, but still, it was nice to have someone to talk to. It could get lonely in the kitchen.)

"Allen-kun!" Jerry greeted him enthusiastically, setting some cooking supplies out on the counter. "What will it be for you this morning?"

The young exorcist stifled a yawn. Truth be told, he looked exhausted. As far as Jerry knew, Allen had never been much of an early morning person, so he found it a little curious that Allen was at the cafeteria at five AM. Nevertheless, Jerry always looked forward to Allen's orders. Ninety percent of the exorcists and finders ordered the same thing down to the last condiment each day, but Allen was among the few that were different. He loved to try new things, and Jerry was always up for the challenge of preparing them as deliciously as possible. Jerry propped his elbows in the counter in anticipation, turning his full attention toward his first customer of the day.

"I want some wasabi ice cream," Allen said. Strangely, his voice held almost none of the enthusiasm usually present when he ordered food. "Topped with crunchy peanut butter, coffee creamer, coconut, and purple sprinkles."

Jerry blinked. He hadn't expected that. Allen did like to experiment, but... this was a bit much, even for him. "You want wasabi ice cream with... crunchy peanut butter, coffee creamer, coconut, and sprinkles?" Jerry asked, a little skeptically.

"Purple sprinkles," Allen specified, nodding stiffly.

For a moment Jerry wondered if Allen was sleepwalking. He'd been known to do that. "What else?" Jerry asked, simultaneously deciding the tremendous yawns were a sign that the young exorcist was, indeed, awake.

"That's it," Allen deadpanned.

Jerry frowned and thought for a minute. His brain was a little foggy - whose wouldn't be at five in the morning? - but no matter how he looked at it, this just wouldn't add up. Allen had a huge appetite, and all he wanted was some ice cream with strange toppings? Maybe he wanted a snack and he'd get a real breakfast later - but he'd never done so before....

Allen glanced at the clock; it was now five after five. "Um, Jerry-san, I don't want to be rude, but could you go ahead and get started? Lenalee's hungry."

Ah. That explained everything. Allen's wife was a much earlier riser than was he, and Allen was such a gentleman that he probably wanted to surprise her with a breakfast in bed. Allen really was a sweet kid - or young adult, rather, now that he was twenty-three. Sometimes his heart could be just as big as his stomach.

But it was such a weird and specific order, there was no way Allen would have asked for it without Lenalee's approval. And as unlikely as it seemed that she'd want something like this, it didn't surprise Jerry as much as it probably should have. Lenalee had been eating strangely lately.

The thing that bothered Jerry the most, though, was that Lenalee had always made it clear that she preferred creamy peanut butter -

The bowl dropped from Jerry's hands and shattered on the ground as he suddenly reached an epiphany he probably should have had the other day, when Lenalee had ordered scrambled eggs and then cried because the kitchen was out of maple syrup.

Jerry pulled out a giant bowl, probably big enough to hold a whole pint of ice cream. Allen's eyes widened as Jerry deposited scoop after heaping scoop into the bowl, nearly emptying the ice cream carton in the process. He started on the peanut butter and added three huge spoonfuls before Allen spoke up groggily.

"Um, Jerry-san, I don't think Lenalee can eat that much," Allen said, rubbing his eyes.

"Nonsense! If she sent you down here this early she's got to be starving. Besides, she's eating for two, isn't she?" Jerry prodded casually.

"Well, yeah, but I still don't..." Allen's eyes went wide and he clapped a hand over his mouth. "I mean no!" he amended quickly. "I mean... w-why would you think that? How did you fi-... I mean, er... it's not-"

"I won't tell a soul," Jerry promised, winking as he emptied an entire container of purple sprinkles onto Lenalee's breakfast.

"Ah..." Allen still seemed hesitant to confirm or deny Jerry's suspicion. "Uh, well, I'd appreciate that," he said finally, deciding his answer was vague enough so that he hadn't really said anything, and he took the bowl from Jerry's hands and held it at arm's length, as if it would bite him. Jerry's food had never bitten him before, but then again, he'd never ordered anything this... creative.

"Congratulations!" Jerry called after Allen's retreating form. Knowing that responding would support Jerry's deduction, Allen pretended not to hear Jerry. He passed a few early risers, every one of them eyeing his dish with varying degrees of disgust. Allen certainly hoped Jerry would keep his promise. It wasn't that they didn't want anyone to know; it was that they'd just found out about Lenalee's pregnancy the day before, and if the rumor spread to Komui before Lenalee got a chance to tell him in person, there was no telling what would happen.

And, to make Allen's bad luck even worse, Kanda of all people appeared in the hall outside the cafeteria.

Allen tried to walk by him quickly, but the vibrant purple caught Kanda's eye. "What the..." Kanda stared at Allen with as much incredulousness as he would allow himself to show. "What are you doing up so early, moyashi? And what the hell kind of breakfast is that?"

Allen didn't have the time, energy, or creativity to think of a lie clever enough to fool Kanda. After all, his wife was hungry, and it was his duty to do whatever he could to help her out while she carried their child. In lieu of an explanation for Kanda, Allen dipped his spoon into the ice cream and took a huge bite. It took all the self-restraint he had to prevent his expression from betraying his disgust. Lenalee's breakfast had to be the worst thing he'd ever put in his mouth.

"Mmmm," Allen faked, smiling lightly as he walked past a very confused-looking Kanda.

"Whatever," he heard Kanda say, as well as a few other words, the nicest of them being "moron."

With great difficulty, Allen swallowed the monstrosity he'd forced himself to sample. He really wanted something to wash the taste out of his mouth -

Oh. Allen stopped dead in his tracks and let out a groan. Lenalee had wanted orange juice too. He'd been so concerned about remembering all the toppings on her ice cream that he'd completely forgotten her drink.

Allen sighed, turning back toward the cafeteria, and mentally kicked himself for forgetting Lenalee's orange juice. There were already at least ten people in line, a certain one of whom was currently waving Mugen in front of a Finder's throat and threatening to behead the terrified-looking man for stepping on his foot. Much as Allen would ordinarily love to teach Kanda a lesson, it was five in the morning, Lenalee's ice cream was starting to melt, and he still didn't have her orange juice. Allen sighed, stepping in line behind the still-terrified-looking Finder, who was profusely apologizing to Kanda's back.

It was going to be a long nine months.

A/N: Quick piece I've had on my computer since about December... it's pretty generic, obviously, but I haven't posted anything in a while so I figured I'd put it up. I'm still working on a (realllllly long) Allen x Lenalee oneshot (with Cross x Klaud as well, even though I seem to be the only person on the planet who likes that pairing)... but it's still pretty far from being done, so bear with me; it may be a while before I've got anything substantial up for DGM. -_-

Please review, even if it's like "UHMM PLZ GET A LIFE & STOP WRITING FANFICTION." But do leave me alone about the spelling of Jerry's name, though. I don't like spelling it Jeryy, that spelling is so... weird.