Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Dragon Ball Z or Dragon Ball Evolution (and personally I believe Dragon Ball Evolution shouldn't own the rights to DBZ but oh well).
Dragon Ball Catastrophe
Me: So, Dragon Ball Evolution, the live action DBZ movie came out yesterday and I had to go see, despite all the bad things I heard about it. I decided to kidnap, Goku, Bulma, Yamcha, Kururin, and Piccolo (Jr.) to come watch it with me. Obviously though, I disguised them all to look like normal humans. Which meant I had to make Piccolo's skin peachy, his ears round and I gave him short black hair instead of antennas (meaning he was almost the same as the Piccolo in the movie ;) ). I also dressed them in jeans and comfy T-shirts. Once they were all presentable to the public we went to the first showing at 12:35. The following was the conversation after the movie was over (* in a note about reality, I went by myself in real life, I'm just adding this for kicks, duh)
Piccolo rubs his head where his antenna usual are (sarcastically): Maybe I should start super gluing my antenna to my forehead and wear body armor too, eh?
We all burst out laughing.
Bulma: Yeah, and Goku here should go to high school with his kid.
Huh? I was in this movie?
Bulma: Duh, why'd you think they kept calling that one kid Goku?
Goku: I thought we just had the same name.
Piccolo: Nope, that was supposed to be you.
Goku makes a pouty face: But he was nothing like me. He didn't have a tail, and he did the Kamehameha weird and he only transformed on a lunar eclipse and he turned out to be one of Piccolo's minions- hey was that green guy supposed to be you Piccolo?
Me (sarcastically in the OMG voice): Yeah Piccolo, cuz pastel green was so your colour.
Yamcha: Yeah and I never knew you had such a hottie for a sidekick.
Piccolo: Hey, that was a very inaccurate depiction of my father not me.
Goku (still pouting): And that kid's hair and eyes were wrong.
Yamcha: At least they didn't make you blonde Goku, and you could use chi.
Bulma: I don't know Yamcha, you act like a blonde.
Yamcha: Hey, they didn't get your hair colour right either.
Bulma: Yeah, but I wasn't blonde.
Master Roshi: They didn't get my hair colour right, but I'm not complaining.
Bulma: Only because it didn't make you look so old.
Me: Besides, he wasn't really you anyways Roshi, I mean, he was called Master Roshi, but he wasn't nearly as perverted or old as you are, and he was a lot more skeptical than you, plus that Roshi didn't have a turtle or an island, he lived in the middle of the city. Not to mention I've never seen you go running to your master the way he did.
Bulma: Who was that Roshi's master guy supposed to be anyways?
Me: I didn't figure it out, the only person I can think of remotely similar to him his Master Karin.
Yamcha: But the guy was human, not a cat.
Me: I know, but he was closer to Karin than anyone else.
Bulma: Man they really messed up all of our characters.
Me: Well, at least they didn't forget you like- we all look at Kururin, who is in the corner saying "Why is it always me?" over and over again.
Everyone except me: True.
Goku: So was this was about us?
Me: It's supposed to be about you guys.
Goku: But I don't remember any of it happening, and Chi-chi never helped me with my training like that. Her father didn't mind her fighting either.
Me: Yeah, well Piccolo never slit his wrist so he can awaken weird demons that regenerate too.
Goku looks at Piccolo: So you don't remember this happening either Piccolo?
Piccolo: I reiterate, that Piccolo wasn't me it was my father, and it never happened Goku.
Goku: Oh…then why did they call it Dragon Ball?
Me: That's a good question. The scary part is, they so left it open for a sequel.
Kururin: Hey, maybe I'll be in the sequel! They didn't have Chaozu or Tien in this one too, so maybe they'll be introduced with me.
Me: Well, after what they did to everyone, it might be better that they forgot you.
Kururin returns to his depression. (Poor Kururin, I think you awesome though!)
Bulma: So if we knew they slaughtered our characters and the story line, why de we come see it?
Me…I was curious?
Piccolo: Admit it, you're just too much of a dork and a fanatic not to come see it.
Goku: Can we go now? I'm hungry.
Author's Note: So this is just some stupid ranting and a break from all the serious stuff I've been writing, if you saw the movie you know what I mean, hoped you got some laughs.