DISCLIAMER: I just realized that I haven't actually put a disclaimer on any of my stories, but the fact that I don't own them kinda goes without saying doesn't it? Unfortunately… Anyway, in this particular story, I do not own Supernatural or X-men. I'm just here to use them for my enjoyment. PURE CRACK and lots of OOC ness. You've been warned! And yes, I know that I'm completely insane, I've been told many times.

"So you think we're hunting a werewolf?" asked Dean confusedly, taking another handful of chips

"No," replied Sam, exasperated, "I said a wolfman. There's a difference." Dean made no reply, other than fixing Sam with a quizzical stare.

"Dean, they aren't that uncommon! Wolfmen can transform into wolf form at will, and werewolves change during the full moon. You know that."

"I do?" Sam rolled his eyes in annoyance as Dean crammed another handful of chips into his mouth.

"Ok," he said, spraying Sam with crumbs (on purpose, Sam was willing to bet) "Wolfmen can change into wolves, but normally, they just look like really hairy men?"

"Yes," sighed Sam.

"Why didn't you say so in the first place? Let's get going!"

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Dean's enthusiasm quickly wore off; he hadn't been thinking about the fact that he would have to stake out behind a rock knee deep in snow on a mountain for what seemed like hours. He might have fallen asleep, if it hadn't been unbelievably freezing out. The sound of a twig snapping to his left brought him back to attention. He had barely raised the shotgun when it leaped.

Snarling, the wolfman pounced on Dean, throwing the both of them down the hill. Wrestling as the rolled, Dean attempted to fight off the beast. It snapped at his neck, missing by inches. They reached the base of the hill and Dean was thrown off, landing a few ways away, the shotgun flung from his grasp.

The wolfman stood, giving Dean a better look. He was tall, with shaggy wild reddish blonde hair, pitch black eyes and sharp fangs, bared in a snarl. It leaned forward, preparing to pounce.

"Hey Ugly! Over here!" Sam's shout diverted the wolfman's attention long enough for Dean to launch himself towards his gun, raise it and fire at the exact moment Sam did. The wolfman roared, before falling to the ground, dead. They didn't have long to celebrate however; they noticed all too late the snow above them beginning to tremble…

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The first thing Sam saw when he came to was a blinding white light. Squinting at his blurred surroundings, Sam tried to figure out where the heck he was.

"Dean?" he mumbled, still only half conscious. He turned his head to the side to see his big brother, strapped to a table, apparently unconscious.

"Dean?" he asked again, more urgently. Sam began to panic that he realized that he was strapped to a table of his own. Naturally, he began to struggle. Looking around frantically, he came face to face with a young woman with short red hair and a lab coat. Before Sam could stop her, she stuck a needle into his arm.

"Shhhh," she whispered, "its ok." Sam's eyes rolled into the back of his head as his world went black once again.

Dean had no idea how long he'd been out. He woke up in what seemed like a laboratory. Casting a bleary eye around, his gaze landed on Sam.

"Sammy? Sam! You alright over there?" Sam gave a small groan, but no other response. His brain beginning to function, Dean realized that he was strapped to the table by two leather bands on his wrists and two on his ankles.

"I'm gonna get you out of here Sammy, don't worry." Thankful that they hadn't also strapped down his neck, as some captors had been prone to do, Dean lifted his head and tried to wiggle his hand free.

After a few tense minutes and a fair bit of pain, Dean managed to free one of his hands. Making quick work of the other three bands, Dean jumped off the table and hurried to Sam. It took Dean a second to notice that not only was he not wearing shoes, he wasn't wearing a shirt either. Neither was Sam. Sam had begun to regain consciousness and cracked open an eyes to see Dean looking anxiously down at him.

"You ok Sammy?" Dean's voice echoed strangely and Sam gave a small nod. "Don't worry, I'm gonna get us out of here." After freeing Sam, Dean hoisted him up, draping an arm across his shoulders.

"God Sasquatch, what have you been eating?" grunted Dean. Sam was being two hundred pounds of dead weight.

"Its muscle," Sam grumbled back in annoyance. "I think I can walk now anyway." He could. The brothers crept as stealthily as they could through the metallic hallway, but being metal, everything seemed to echo. An elevator door to their left hissed open. Seizing their opportunity, they quickly ducked inside. The elevator was silent, apart from the crappy elevator music. With a small dinging noise, the doors opened.

Sam and Dean edged out of the elevator and pressed themselves up against the wall. This hallway was very classy, made of furnished wood. Sam heard faint footsteps in the distance.

"Over there," he hissed to Dean, gesturing towards the wide doorway across the hall. The brothers hurried across the hall, hiding behind two large pillars while whoever it was passed. When the coast was clear, they rushed to the doors and ducked inside, still searching the hallway.

Dean shut the door behind him and breathed a sigh of relief.

"That was a close one, eh Sammy?" Sam said nothing, but stared straight ahead.

"Sammy?" There was a clicking sound and a flash of light. Dean turned around very slowly to see what had Sam so scared. There was another flash of light. Blinking the spots out of his eyes, Dean took in the sight. Girls. Hundreds of girls, and boys for that matter. And all of them were staring at the brothers; some with confusion and a hint of jealousy, the rest with terrifying expressions of lust. It then occurred to Dean that neither he nor Sam was wearing shirts. Dean swallowed nervously and took a step back. The horde of girls and their cameras took a step forward, their faces splitting into hungry grins. For a second, Dean thought to himself; "What does a man do when he has hundreds of girls coming on to him?" And then he answered himself.

Run.

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It was quiet. The storm was over. Sam and Dean slumped against the tree branches and figured it was safe to come down now. Sam slithered down the tree, surprisingly easily, despite his height. Hooking his legs around the lowest tree branch, Sam swung upside down and flipped, landing on his feet. A twig snapped. Suddenly, all Sam could feel were the hands gripping his arms and dragging him away.

"DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAN!!"

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He awoke back in that damn laboratory. But this time, he wasn't tied down; he just had a bunch of suction cups stuck to his chest. He shot upright, but a wave of nausea made him sway.

"Are you alright?" asked a kind female voice. "I'm sorry, it's just the anesthetic, it will wear off in a few minutes." It was the same red-headed woman from before.

"Where am I?"

"At Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. My name is Dr. Jean Grey." Sam looked blank.

"It's a school for mutants." She supplied helpfully. That got Sam's attention.

"Whoah, whoah, mutants? I am not a mutant." Jean cocked her head to the side.

"Aren't you? For someone who isn't a mutant, you've got some pretty impressive psychic abilities." Sam's mouth dropped open. She smiled kindly. Leaning down closer to his face, she whispered,

"I feel your pain, being psychic isn't easy." Sam's eyes locked with Jean's. Neither spoke for a moment.

There was the sound of two men clearing their throats. Sam looked, distracted. One was muscular, with spiked hair and sideburns. The other was tall and wearing strange metallic sunglasses. And both were giving Sam glares that clearly showed that they wished him a painful death. Sam gulped.

"Hi?"

"Logan, Scott," Jean says in a placating tone, "This is Sam; he's here to see the Professor." The men looked unconvinced; Sideburn Boy actually shot what looked like three metal spikes out of his knuckles. When Jean wasn't looking, he put the outer two down. Sam bit his lip. He really needed to find Dean soon…

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Dean stayed frozen in his tree. He had heard Sammy's scream and had been helpless to do anything. He knew moving would get them both captured, and he'd be no help to his brother then. The scene was calm enough at the moment, but Dean knew better then to assume he was safe. He looked around; seeing nothing, he inched down to the next branch. He looked around again; seeing nothing this time either, he stepped down to the next branch. A figure sitting on the roof watched Dean amusedly as he made his slow trip out of the tree, looking around nervously all the while. Before Dean's eyes landed on him, the figure vanished.

There were only five more branches to go before he could just jump down. He heard a small rustling sound before finding himself face to face with a creature with blue skin. The creature gave a feral grin, showing pointed teeth. Before Dean could react, the creature grabbed him and they vanished.

Dean reappeared in what looked like a dorm room. There were two teenagers sitting on the bed. The boy had short blond hair and ice blue eyes. The girl had long reddish-brown hair with a white streak at the front and was wearing gloves.

"Great job Kurt! You found him! Said the girl happily, bouncing to her feet.

"I'm Rogue, this is Bobby," she said gesturing to the boy behind her. "And that's," The blue man interrupted her,

"Kurt Vogner," he said excitedly in a thick accent, "but in the circus I was known as the incredible Nightcrawler." Rouge and Bobby rolled their eyes. Dean smiled nervously and backed towards the door.

"That's fascinating, it really is, but I have to go now." Dean bolted. But he didn't get far; Bobby raised his hand and the next thing Dean knew, he was crashing headlong into a block of ice.

"What the hell?" Dean asked, sitting up. Kurt, Rogue and Bobby all leaned over him.

"We know why you're here." Said Rogue

"We know all about you." Said Bobby

"And we know how to help you." Said Kurt, showing his teeth again. Dean looked blank.

"And what exactly is 'wrong with me'?" asked Dean, though he was fairly certain he didn't want to know the answer. The three exchanged excited looks.

"You're a mutant!"

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A bald man entered the room on a wheelchair. Logan, Scott and Jean all ducked out of his way respectfully, though Logan was more reluctant about it.

"Hello Sam," he said kindly, "I am Professor Xavier." Sam nodded tightly.

There is no need to be nervous, Sam Winchester. I only wish to help. Sam blinked in surprise, for the Professor had not moved his lips, but Sam had heard him just the same. The Professor smiled.

"Yes, I can control and read thoughts. Logan, otherwise known as the Wolverine, had regenerating power and had an entire skeleton made of metal. Scott or 'Cyclops', can shoot lasers out of his eyes. And Jean here is a telekinetic and a psychic. Not unlike yourself Mr. Winchester."

Sam gaped, his expression quite similar to that of a goldfish. "How did we get this way?" the Professor asked, reading Sam's thoughts, "We were born with the 'mutant gene'." Sam furrowed his brow.

"What does this have to do with you?"

"Would you stop doing that?!" Continuing as though he hadn't heard Sam, Xavier answered, "I wish to conduct a few experiments to discover the cause of your powers and then help you learn to control them." Sam blanched as Jean snapped on a rubber glove.

"Experiments?" The four mutants leered at Sam. Sam whimpered as he tried to back away. His back hit the wall. There was nowhere to go.

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"I'm not a mutant!" Dean protested, "I haven't got any of those freaky powers." Rogue looked thoughtful for a moment before her face lit up.

"You and your brother have survived a lot of danger, right?"

"Yes," Dean answered slowly, not liking where this was heading.

"So maybe you're powers only activate when you're in danger!" Bobby and Kurt nodded vigorously.

"Maybe, he can turn his body into jelly and slip out of ropes!" said Bobby.

"That's im-" Dean didn't get to finish his sentence.

"Untie me!" Dean bellowed, "I am not going to turn into jelly!"

"Then how do you keep escaping?" asked Rogue. "I thought villains tied you up all the time."

"That's it!" cried Kurt, "He has to feel threatened for his powers to work!" The three grinned.

"Come on, you guys aren't serious?" Bobby stepped forward. He knelt down and touched the floor. Ice immediately began to creep across the floor heading for Dean's feet.

"Better try or you're going to be a popsicle in a second." The ice spread over Dean's feet and started up to his knees.

"I am not a mutant!" The ice was halfway up his torso. "I do not turn into jelly to escape ropes! Goddamn!" The ice had reached his mouth, promptly freezing it shut. Dean continued trying to speak, even after the ice enveloped his head.

"Huh," said Bobby thoughtfully. "I guess that isn't his mutation." He paused, "What else do villains normally do?"

"Sometimes in movies, they tie something heavy to your feet and then push you over a bridge." Answered Kurt. "Maybe, he can breathe under water!" A muffled grumble and a shifting ice block got their attention.

"I guess we should defrost him first,"

"Oh, Pyro?" sang Bobby, "We need a bit of help in here."

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Ok, Sam thought A CAT scan, I can deal with. It was pitch black for a moment, before lights turned on all around him. A TV screen turned on above him. It took him a little to figure that one out. Oh right, they're going to show me a bunch of images to see how I react to them. The first image clicked on: it was a nice house with a beautiful garden. Sam smiled wistfully; it reminded him of the house he'd seen in Bobby's dream. From the life Bobby could have led. The image changed: now it was of a man lounging on a couch with his dog's head on his lap. Sam smiled again; he'd always wanted a dog. Image number three: a scene from Dawn of the Dead. Sam laughed out loud at the bad special effects. Please, he'd SEEN real zombies, and these were way off. The image changed again: a boy was injecting his arm with heroin. The hungry look on his face sent a chill through Sam. He thought of Dean's reaction if he ever found about what he had been doing with Ruby. His pulse began to race. The machine beeped and opened, sending Sam out.

"Heroin, huh?" scoffed Logan. "Didn't see you as the type." Awwwww, dammit, now they think I'm a druggie.

"I don't do heroin." Sam insisted. Jean emerged from nowhere holding a sheaf of papers. "The results; Sam's psychic powers, advanced by heroin use, make him unstable. He finds violence amusing, and is bitter about the lack of normalcy in his life. He and his brother killed Sabretooth like it was nothing."

"I don't do heroin and I'm not unstable!" Scott peered over Jean's shoulder at the papers.

"It says here that you like to wear women's underwear." Sam turned bright red.

"It doesn't say that!"

"Then what's this?" asked Logan innocently, holding Sam's duffel in one hand a black and purple lace bra in the other. Sam leapt off the table.

"That's not mine!"

Sam tried to reach for his duffel, but Logan skipped just out of his reach. Holding the bra up to his chest, Logan ran around the room, Sam hot on his heels.

"Look at me, I'm Sammy Winchester! Has anyone seen my body glitter?" he asked in a high, lispy voice. Scott howled with laughter, and even Jean had to cover her mouth to stifle her giggles. The Professor chased Sam and Logan in his wheelchair.

"Stop fooling around!" he commanded. Logan paid him no attention, but continued to run in circles around the lab, yelling things like, 'Oh fudge, I broke a nail!' and 'Isn't this thong daaaaaaarling?" Sam kept chasing him, not seeming to realize that Logan had thrown the duffel at Scott a long time ago, and yelling at Logan to 'give it back!', the Professor chasing both of them and commanding them to stop acting like children. Scott considered reminding the Professor that he could easily freeze both Sam and Logan in place, but decided that this was far, far funnier.

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"Owwwwwwwww." Dean moaned, sinking further into the fountain. Pyro had apparently decided that the best way to defrost a person would be to shoot a huge column of fire at them. Upon realizing his butt was on fire, Dean leapt around squealing before seeing the fountain and making a run for it. Rogue, Bobby and Kurt appeared out of nowhere.

"What do you want now?!"

"We have a new idea for what your mutation might be!" exclaimed Rogue, "We think you can breathe under water!"

"You're not seriously going to…" With that, Kurt and Bobby pushed Dean's head under water. Dean flailed his arms pitifully. Rogue shook her head.

"Guys, it doesn't look like that is his mutation either." Kurt and Bobby lifted Dean's head.

"I know! Villains push people off buildings a lot! I bet he grows angel wings!"

"To the roof!" Dean groaned.

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To Scott's dismay, the Professor finally remembered his powers. After smacking both Logan and Sam on the palms with a ruler, he sent Logan and Scott out of the room so Jean could continue the experiments. As soon as the door shut, Jean turned to Sam, her brown eyes burning with lust. Once again reminded that he wasn't wearing a shirt, Sam shifted uncomfortably. She launched herself at him and began kissing his neck.

"Wow, um," He didn't have much else to say. Then he noticed the ring on her finger.

"Wait, aren't you married?"

"To Scott," she breathed, trailing kisses over Sam's jaw. "It's so nice having another psychic around, someone who understands me." Sam was now vaguely aware that she was on his lap with her legs wrapped around his waist. She gazed into his eyes for a second before kissing him on the lips.

There was the sound of a sword being drawn. Sam tried to look past Jean's head to see. Wolverine was standing in the door, spikes shot menacingly out of his knuckles. Cyclops was there, looking equally scary with his hand on his sunglasses.

"Wait a sec," Sam tried, "This isn't what it," Cyclops shot a red laser at Sam, which barely missed. Sam yelped and jumped off the table. Logan lunged forward and swipe at Sam with the spikes. Sam ran for his life, Logan and Scott not far behind.

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'Holy crap, this is high,' was the only thing Dean could think. Bobby and Kurt each held an arm.

"Come on guys, you aren't actually going to push me off the roof are you?"

"We must," cried Rogue, "to help you reach your full potential as a mutant!"

"I'm not a mutant!" Dean shrieked.

"One, two, three!" Bobby and Kurt hurled Dean off the roof.

"Grow angel wings! I know you can! Try, Dean, try!"

"Help!!!" Dean screamed as he fell to his impending doom. He felt two strong arms catch him and lower him gently to the ground. Dean looked wildly at his saviour; Castiel looked confusedly back.

"Oh God," Dean panted, "Thanks Cas," Castiel put Dean back on the ground.

"What is going on?" asked the angel. Rogue, Bobby and Kurt appeared out of nowhere.

"So that's your power," whispered Rogue in awe. "You summon angels!" Castiel and Dean both gaped.

"That is the most amazing mutation of all!" cried Bobby

"Angel Whisperer!" exclaimed Kurt. "Respect the caller of angels!" The three of them threw themselves at Dean and Castiel's feet.

"Yeah, I'm starting to see why you called me here," remarked Castiel, "Have they been doing this all day?" Dean nodded pitifully.

"They froze me, and then shot fire at me and stuck my head under water and then pushed me off a roof." Dean whined, putting his head on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel patted him awkwardly.

"It's ok, I'm here now?"

Castiel and Dean were interrupted by a scream in the distance. Sam rounded the corner, running as fast as he could, looking terrified.

"Sammy!" cried Dean happily, "You're ok!" Then he noticed Sam's expression. Then he noticed the two men chasing him; one shooting lasers at Sam's feet and the other swiping at him with knives. And then he noticed that it would be a very good idea to run. Castiel, Dean and Sam all screamed and ran. Once they got far enough ahead, Castiel grasped both Dean and Sam's arms and they disappeared.

"Come back, Angel Whisperer!" Wailed Rogue

"Come back, Sam! Come back and love meee!" Jean sobbed.

"Come back so I can kill you!" seethed Logan. But thankfully, the Winchesters were now long gone.

They reappeared back at the Impala, still parked in the forest. Dean gave his car a grateful pat.

"Thanks again Cas," panted Dean, "Ready to get the hell out of here, Sammy?" Sam shook his head, pouting.

"They have my duffel bag." Castiel groaned and disappeared. He returned a few seconds later holding Sam's bag. He looked inside it and blinked a couple of times.

"What's wrong?" asked Dean. Castiel held up the black and purple bra.

"When we thought you were hiding something, we weren't expecting this."

"It's not mine!" Sam bellowed.

"Sure it isn't, Sammy-boy," grinned Dean. Castiel peered into the bag again.

"Hey Sam, I found your body glitter."

END

There you go Kyla! Hope you liked it!

-Shooshkipoo