I could sit here forever, in a state of utter happiness. My tiny wife cradled in my arms, resting her head against my chest. Next to me, my once suicidal brother and his soon-to-be wife curled up next to him.
We had been sitting here for most of the afternoon, and the three of them had happiness rolling off of them in waves, filling the room with feelings of love, hope and joy. None of us wanted to move.
So here I am, emotions filled with delight and glee, and I remember - for a moment - when all I felt was self-loathing, hatred and fear. The fear was the strongest. From a time when my eyes shone scarlet, showing me for what I truly was, a monster, a killer and a savage. From a time when I didn't need to control my thirst, I just went after what my instincts wanted, and they wanted blood, a constant stream of blood.
From when war was my life, when I'd spend days plotting different battle plans, and the nights annihilating our enemies. When we would go from one battle to the next, picking up scars on the way, they served as a constant reminder of the torment and the brutality, so different from how I glamorized war when I was merely human.
Then Alice came bounding into my life - skipping all the way. I spent years when I didn't know the true meaning of love, when all I could feel was the emotions of the people I killed and in an instant she rectified that; she brought me hope. Hope that my life could be different, that it could be better. Hope was something that I had lost so many years before and I found it, once again, in her heart.
Now my eyes shine gold.
The thirst has dulled, but still resides in me, it still burns. The only difference now is that I refuse to let it take over. I refuse to let it control me. I am the one in control now, not my instincts. I am the one who chooses to be stronger and not let my thirst get so unbearable that there is a repeat of Bella's eighteenth.
I am stronger than that now, I can and will resist. Not just for my sanity, but for Edward, for Alice and for my family. Those months when the family was torn apart all because of my inability to control my bloodlust were unbearable. I don't think I could have gone on if Alice was not by my side. Even when I almost killed her best friend, she was still there, with me everywhere I went, and she was still a constant ray of sunshine, banishing the shadows from my life.
I had once thought Carlisle to be crazy for going against our nature, for going against everything that we were; how wrong I was. If my family had not chosen this life I would not be sitting here. Edward would not have let Bella live long enough to realize that she is the one person who makes him complete. She is to him as Alice is to me. Bella is the reason he sits here beside me in a complete state of contentment.
I look down at my beautiful pixie, her golden eyes wide in joy and excitement. As she traces patterns on my arms, I can feel her emotions bubbling over, ready to burst. She is overjoyed that Edward and Bella are finally to be wed. She gets to do what she does best, throw a great big wedding and party to follow - no doubt with lots of shopping needed in the process. Her joy is magnified as she will have her best friend become her sister, after so long waiting for her vision to unfold. Her and Bella, side by side, smiling, both as indestructible as the other; sisters forever.
My sweet, excitable Alice. My entire world lights up when she skips along in her never ending state of hyperactivity, and if a frown finds its way onto her beautiful face my heart shatters and waits for the smile to return for it to mend.
Before her I never even considered that one person could feel this magnitude of love for one individual. One tiny four-foot-ten bundle of energy. I often think how I was able to go through all those years that she wasn't in my life, and every time I remind myself that it is irrelevant, because when she did come into my life everything that happened before does not matter. It was wiped out from the sheer force of her smile in that diner. That's when my immortal life truly began, when I took her extended hand, in that moment everything became clear.
I would be with her forever.
It is these moments I cherish the most, the moments when she would sit in my arms, nothing to upset us, nothing to distract us - just me and her in a bubble of happiness. It doesn't matter how many people were in the room, all I saw was her.
Her smile growing as she plans something else to make Bella's wedding perfect. As she sees something else in the future that makes her happy. She turns to face me, fixing her gaze on mine, nothing but love showing on her features. All around her, her happiness floats.
I don't just feel the emotions, I can almost see them in the air, each looks different, acts different. Happiness floats in wispy clouds, joy jumps and bounds across a room, love soars, gliding through the air, despair sinks and puddles on the ground, anger stabs and tugs, panic tingles and fear prickles and burns.
I faintly realize that Bella has drifted off to sleep in Edward's arms. Her emotions remaining at the level they were when she was awake. For a second I am confused, I always thought that emotions would dull in sleep, I guess I was wrong. The room was silent until she mutters Edwards's name. Even in her dreams, she feels everything for the man she is to marry. Edward smiles down at the sleeping human, looking at the detail in her face, watching her eye lids flutter as she dreams. He worships everything about her, every tiny detail.
Gradually Edward shifts her, cradling her in his arms as he carries her off. Probably to place her in his bed, so that she can sleep comfortably. He nods slightly as her reads my thoughts. He would do anything to make her happier, even if it is just making sure she sleeps soundly and comfortably.
Soon she won't need sleep and they can spend eternity together.
A small sigh brings my attention back to Alice, another smile playing on her lips. She whispers 'I love you' as I am hit with emotions of love and joy bouncing around the room. I lean into her neck, gently placing a kiss below her jaw.
"I love you too."
She is, quite simply, everything to me.